I know I will regret this..................
- Thread starter @}-}rebecca----
- Start date
@}-}rebecca----
not enough discipline ...
- Joined
- Oct 31, 2005
- Posts
- 13,063
FurryFury said:Beautiful fish, I liked the Cobalt name but then I'm a Cobalt lover anyway. The new cobalt glass looks fab in my kitchen! Woot!
Fury
mmmmmm morning
Miss Fury that was your Christmas present wasn't it........can we have a non defining picture pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeemuah
still asleep here ......prays to Coffee Gods
@}-}rebecca----
not enough discipline ...
- Joined
- Oct 31, 2005
- Posts
- 13,063
True Story for Consideration
Cold's Story
"Everyday of my life he is a constant reminder
by living with this. Is it worth it??"
Some of you know me personally, some only through the computer. Some of you may not of ever heard of me. I am writing this in the hopes of saving someone from going through the anguish and heartache that I and my family have gone through.
My nickname on Chat is Cold as Ice1. I am 38 years old. I have a family consisting of three children and three step children. The older two step children do not live with me but I was very close to them. Living at home are my three children. Lisa is 19. Shelley is 13 and Daniel is 7. My step daughter 18 also lives with us. I also take care of my father. Although in the conventional manner of speaking I am still married. I live with my husband we have not had a typical marriage in the past year and a half.
When I started on Prodigy in February of 1994 I was new to the computer world. I was very busy taking care of many people. I was a girlscout leader. Two of my children have emotional problems and one a physical problem. I was at the school volunteering or at meetings. I was taking care of my dad's household also by paying his bills doing his shopping, laundry, taking him to the doctors etc. I was also the person to call at 3:00am in the morning when someone had a problem. I guess what I am trying to say is that I was Betty Crocker to the max. I devoted my life to others.
Even through all this I was very lonely inside. I felt loved as a mom, friend, sister, daughter but not as a woman. I was 350lbs and didn't take very good care of myself.
When I started playing on the computer it was so different. I would go on the bulletin boards in the weight loss section and go to the pets bulletin boards. I started to lose weight and joined a weight loss group who had a bulletin board through prodigy. Then a friend told me about chat.
I first started in Chat searching around going from room to room. I couldn't believe some of the rooms. I didn't know whether to be shocked, insulted or just go with the flow. I soon found the Big Beautiful Women's room. It was fun and before I knew it I was having the old cyber sex. I don't know why but hey it wasn't pigging out and eating. I don't know about all of you but I never found it very stimulating. I then went on to phone sex. I didn't think anything was wrong with it after all I wasn't doing anything unsafe. I didn't think I was cheating cause it wasn't in person. Anyway I was having cyber-phone with some guy and it seemed that I was always the one on my knees serving him. He said to me why don't you go to the D/s rooms. D/s what the heck is that I asked him. He said go there and find out. I had never heard of D/s S&M or anything like that. I ventured on over there and met (cyber only) my first Dom. I was cyber-collared from him and learning from step one. I would ask his permission to come into the room. I wouldn't even talk in the room unless he ordered me to. When I first found out he had another sub I was heart-broken and cried.
We talked on the phone and he told me that I had to learn a lot about D/s. I have always been pretty stubborn and asked to be released. Through the months I learned then trudged along through cyber/phone Master after Master. I had so many tears I couldn't tell you. All these over some people I had never met. I met people through chat but only as friends. I continued to loose weight and felt very wanted and desired by these cyber Masters even though I hadn't met them. I fought with other subs over Masters as Vampy can well attest to. I also judged people I had no right to judge. I also became very addicted to Chat. I was letting my house go. My bills and credit were being ruined. I had five accounts and bills in the hundreds. I also was not getting any sleep. My husband would come home to me at the computer, go to sleep with me at the computer and wake up with me at the computer. I didn't cook very much and it was all I could do to get my kids ready for school. I justified my actions by saying I have been doing for everyone for years and now it is my time to do for me. I blamed my lack of caring for my husband on him. I would tell him things like "well I warned you for years that if you didn't make me feel like a woman I would cross the line and it would be too late." I started to go out to bars with friends. I was looking good. I started taking to good care of myself getting my nails done, having my hair done and buying new clothes. I was feeling for the first time in 13 years wanted and desired as a woman. I would wait on Chat for hours at a time just for my Master at the time to come on. Even if it was for just a few minutes. Coming on to Chat was the highlight of my life. My heart would actually race as the modem kicked in and I couldn't wait to enter the room.
In September I decided to put my opinions where my mouth was and to have a real session with a Dom. I met him and had a wonderful and SAFE totally S&M Session. He did not want to collar me because he felt he couldn't put into a Master sub relationship what he felt was needed for a bond. I was heartbroken feeling that I didn't please him. Now I totally understand where he was coming from. But I thought at least I tried it real-time and I liked it.
After that I was approached by a Master who said that he was in the scene for over 20 years and was looking for a sub and knew I wasn't collared. We were not that far away from each other. He lived and worked about 45 minutes away from me. We eventually met and had a session. It was also safe. He wanted to collar me but I had hopes of being collared by the first Dom that sessioned me. This new Master doted on me he was firm and really seemed to know what he was doing. He would take me to dinner and go places with me. In the beginning couple of weeks things were purely straight and safe S&M. There is a lot more to this but I can not get into it at this time. It is just to painful. After a couple of weeks of seeing him and talking to him both on the phone and the computer I agreed to be collared. From there on things got sexual and not safe. I didn't question him after all he was the Master although when first meeting him he told me he was married and when asked told me he didn't have AIDs or any sexually transmitted disease. He did tell me that he had had Hepatitis B but that he was not catchy. I didn't question him after all he was the Master. I never would question a Master. Peter {Lord Laurant can attest to my seriousness in S&M. I did not stop calling him or any Master Sir until a year ago.
By the time my Master progressed to unsafe S&M practices and sex I was totally committed to him and could not imagine even living without him. You see most of us know that it is not the physical Domming that makes the bond, it is the emotional Domming.
I was Dommed hook line and sinker. I felt wonderful knowing that I was wanted appreciated and I loved the attention he gave me. I would do anything to please him. Unfortunately pleasing him meant very sadistic practices. I totally trusted him and can not tell you what a hold this man had over me. He knew the right things to say and through it all I still believe that he loved me.
Our S&M practices were now what I can call bizarre I can not go into this also as it is to painful for me. Besides I don't think people still believe that I was whipped over 500 times in a single session. I know this because I counted.
I was taken to an S&M Club where I was whipped, caned, cropped, beaten till I bled. I would have large blood clots on my breasts. I felt happy that I pleased him. I thought I was a great sub. Lioness can attest to this as she stopped a scene that Master was doing with me out of concern for me. Lord Laurent can also attest to this as he saw me, Dommed and expressed his concern to me. He told me when I was being Dommed I was not even there and I wasn't I was in another place. I was in the frame of mind that nothing could stop me from pleasing Master and I would endure anything. He told me that what Master had just done to me was not being Dommed it was being abused. I felt like the good sub when I told Master this. He told me that people just didn't understand that there were different levels of S&M and we were just hard core and that I should be proud that I could endure what their subs could not. I was proud.
Master would call me at 1:30 in the morning -- he worked nights and have me drive almost an hour to rub his feet for 45 minutes on his dinner break. I would drive back home after that. What did I get in return -- the pride of knowing I pleased him. The pride of knowing that I was real-time and not cyber. Besides we also did vanilla things like go to dinner or movies. Of course I paid most of the time. I also was becoming a very respected sub online and that was very important to me. Masters would tell me they wished I was their sub. I now realise in a sick way this was all making me feel good and important.
In February of 95 I started to feel sick. I went to the doctor and to make a long story short I found out I had HepB. I was upset and scared. The hardest thing was having to have all my children and husband have blood tests for HepB. They all came back negative but had to have three shots each. I had to eat out of paper plates and couldn't kiss my own children. I felt like a leper. My selfishness had caused my children to suffer. Watching my son cry knowing he had to have a shot and knowing it was because of me is something that brings tears to me even now. I thought it could not get any worse. I was so sick. I had a rash and the highest temperature of my life. I still went to my Master. I still rubbed his feet for hours. I still pleased him. I remember running a high fever with a bladder infection so bad I was bleeding. It didn't stop him from the fisting or the whippings.
About two weeks after the HepB diagnosis Master told me he had a terminal illness and that was why he was having a hard time leaving his wife. He felt he owed her something. I asked what that illness was and he finally told me he had HIV. I will remember this day as if it was today. Riding in the car with him and him telling me this. My whole body rushed out just like you see in a movie where everything zooms in on you. I was crying and quite hysterical. I told him he lied to me and he said no I didn't you asked me if I had AIDS and no one has ever said I have AIDS... they say I have HIV and that doesn't mean I have AIDS. He told me he loved me and that was important. Then he brought me to a hotel room and Dommed me. I cried the whole time but I just couldn't hate him. I justified it by saying that if I had HIV he would not leave me. He promised I could take care of him and that he would take care of me. After we left and I was alone in my car I called my husband on the car phone. I was still hysterical I told him what Jack had told me. He is a very caring person and although he knew I was seeing Jack he still allowed me to stay because he was hoping it was just a phase I was going through.
The next day I called the health department. I was so upset they had a doctor come to my home to talk to me. He got me tested the next day. I had to wait a week of hell to find out if I was positive. Even if I showed negative there would be no guarantee because you can test neg. up to six months after your last sexual constant. The people at the health department didn't think I could handle the diagnosis either way and decided the only way I was to know is if my medical doctor told me. I could hardly get out of bed I was so upset. I had to tell my oldest what was happening.
A week to the day... March 14, 1995 my doctor called and said she had an emergency at the hospital and could I meet her in the emergency room. My husband and I went. They finally called me in. She wasted no time and said we had some bad news from the health department. You are HIV+. As she told me my therapist walked in and so did a nurse with a shot. I was on the floor at this time. I was put on a stretcher and remember crying and telling a nurse I was only lonely. I didn't mean for all this to happen and I don't want to die. The nurse gave me another shot with tears coming down her face. I will never forget that.
I was brought to another hospital by ambulance and put in a mental ward. I was on a suicide watch as I didn't want to live knowing this. The next three weeks were pretty much a blur. I do know that my family was overwrought and so was I just knowing that I brought this on to them. Where was Master through this all... well we talked on the phone. He reassured me that he would be there for me and that I was a good sub and he loved me. He wouldn't come see me because he knew my family wanted to kill him and I think if they had their chance they would of. I was transferred to another hospital where he did come see me once.
Everyone including my doctors couldn't understand why I had no anger toward this man. They don't understand the power that a Top has over a sub. I think this was the hardest thing for my family to deal with. Why no anger? People who didn't even know me before all this couldn't understand this.
Well I got out of the hospital and soon I was seeing Jack regularly again. Yes he told his wife and even left her for awhile but he started to become sick. He gave me numbers of people to call and even brought me to the AIDS center where he went. His wife was a nurse he said and knew how to care for him. He went back to his wife and I went back to the hospital by force. You see when he went back to her he told me he loved me but that he didn't have to much time left. That if we were together and he died he didn't think my family would take me back. He promised to take care of my children financially as he did from the beginning. I flipped out again and intended to kill myself where we use to meet all the time. I called my husband and begged him to forgive me for all I did that in itself was another story. My husband called the police and they came and got me. I was put in a holding cell with a blanket and laid on the floor. I was handled like a leper and it was horrible. Again to another hospital. I didn't stay long and got out. For a couple of weeks Jack would not take my phone calls the anger finally came. When he did talk to me and see me I was different. It finally sunk in EVERYTHING.
The hardest point was knowing that chances are I will not see my son graduate high school or my daughter college. I would not see my grandchildren when they came grow up. Why -- because I wanted to be wanted. I saw Jack a couple of times after that and the last time I saw him he Dommed me. But you see by then I had gotten away enough to see things as they really were. I also met Karen, my Mistress and lover. Yes before she even touched me I told her I had HIV. Yes she is negative. That is also another story.
Master did not give up easily and it was hard for awhile but the final straw was when he told me that he was told I might of gotten HIV elsewhere. Knowing what we did and knowing that I was safe before him finally broke the connection. I finally asked to be released as all through this I was still collared.
Jack died in December. I found out the same day as I was riding in the car to my HIV doctor. Yes I cried and yes I still cried. I believe that he did love me... You see I have to otherwise I couldn't live with the fact that I am going to die all for NOTHING.
This is my story up to last year I know it is long but it is the truth and believe me I could write a book on the things that I left out. My life has changed a lot since the last time I met with Master.
What does this all mean... to me it means let this be a warning. It is to late for me but to all that are just starting or are considering giving up maybe your life for a Master or Visa-versa. It is not necessary to do so to prove you are a wanted and loved person.
If I could go back to the first time I signed on I would. I have lost the respect of my family although they still love me. I have lost friends because they are afraid of me being around them and their children. I have stopped volunteering at the schools because I am afraid of what the parents would do if they knew I had HIV and was working along side of their children. I have to tell doctors. People I meet in the S&M scene I have to tell I have HIV so they can make a decision as to whether or not they want to be collared by me. I do not want anyone to feel the way I did by having this Master not be honest with me. Of course when playing in S&M I am totally safe and have found out that S&M does not mean unsafe play. A simple hug is not so simple anymore. I find myself analyzing did the person who just hugged me hug me if they knew I had HIV even though I know they can't get it. I find myself thinking if this person that has hugged me knew I had HIV would they even hug me. Although Master lays in his grave he has done the ultimate Dom. He has me for the rest of my life. He is a reminder everyday living this. Should anyone have so much power over anyone? Everyday of my life he is a constant reminder by living with this. Karen has been through hell with me with this disease. Let me tell you HIV sucks. Is it worth it?? You decide!!
I am sending a poem that my 13 year old daughter wrote a few months ago. She just turned thirteen in April (1996).
My Hands
As I sit here, with no sound.
No light.
No one.
I look at my hands.
My small hands.
My closed hands.
My hands are closed to the world.
To you.
To every one.
They were once open.
Open to you.
To everyone.
They held love.
Happiness.
Peace.
No longer do they hold these.
They hold memories.
Only anger.
Only fear.
Only sadness.
Should I open them to the world?
Should I let out the anger?
Should I let out the fear?
Should I let out the sadness?
I should let it out.
I should let it out!
Out of my hands.
Out of my hands.
Out of my hands.....
Now that you have read my story I would like to pass on a few things that I think may help others. If you are interested in a new Dom/sub, ask him if anyone on chat knows him/her personally. Find out what your Dom/sub is looking for. Are they the same interests such as do you both not mind if he has more than one sub. Is he into safewords if you are. How far do you both want to get involved in this? If you are going to meet a new Dom/sub. Always meet in a public place. A restaurant etc. Let some one know where you will be. Do not go with the intent of sessioning the first time you both meet.
Always agree on safe and consentual S&M Practices when you do finally first session. Think about the consequences of both of your actions. Such as if you are married is this possibly worth being found out. I also feel that being in this cyber land is like taking a drug for some people. It was like that with me. If this is so... step back for awhile and think about this. Like a drug a lot of this cyber can give you a false high and be dangerous. I am speaking from experience.
Be Safe, Be Happy, Be smart.
Cold As Ice1
Cold sadly passed as results of illness associated with AIDS.
Cold's Story
"Everyday of my life he is a constant reminder
by living with this. Is it worth it??"
Some of you know me personally, some only through the computer. Some of you may not of ever heard of me. I am writing this in the hopes of saving someone from going through the anguish and heartache that I and my family have gone through.
My nickname on Chat is Cold as Ice1. I am 38 years old. I have a family consisting of three children and three step children. The older two step children do not live with me but I was very close to them. Living at home are my three children. Lisa is 19. Shelley is 13 and Daniel is 7. My step daughter 18 also lives with us. I also take care of my father. Although in the conventional manner of speaking I am still married. I live with my husband we have not had a typical marriage in the past year and a half.
When I started on Prodigy in February of 1994 I was new to the computer world. I was very busy taking care of many people. I was a girlscout leader. Two of my children have emotional problems and one a physical problem. I was at the school volunteering or at meetings. I was taking care of my dad's household also by paying his bills doing his shopping, laundry, taking him to the doctors etc. I was also the person to call at 3:00am in the morning when someone had a problem. I guess what I am trying to say is that I was Betty Crocker to the max. I devoted my life to others.
Even through all this I was very lonely inside. I felt loved as a mom, friend, sister, daughter but not as a woman. I was 350lbs and didn't take very good care of myself.
When I started playing on the computer it was so different. I would go on the bulletin boards in the weight loss section and go to the pets bulletin boards. I started to lose weight and joined a weight loss group who had a bulletin board through prodigy. Then a friend told me about chat.
I first started in Chat searching around going from room to room. I couldn't believe some of the rooms. I didn't know whether to be shocked, insulted or just go with the flow. I soon found the Big Beautiful Women's room. It was fun and before I knew it I was having the old cyber sex. I don't know why but hey it wasn't pigging out and eating. I don't know about all of you but I never found it very stimulating. I then went on to phone sex. I didn't think anything was wrong with it after all I wasn't doing anything unsafe. I didn't think I was cheating cause it wasn't in person. Anyway I was having cyber-phone with some guy and it seemed that I was always the one on my knees serving him. He said to me why don't you go to the D/s rooms. D/s what the heck is that I asked him. He said go there and find out. I had never heard of D/s S&M or anything like that. I ventured on over there and met (cyber only) my first Dom. I was cyber-collared from him and learning from step one. I would ask his permission to come into the room. I wouldn't even talk in the room unless he ordered me to. When I first found out he had another sub I was heart-broken and cried.
We talked on the phone and he told me that I had to learn a lot about D/s. I have always been pretty stubborn and asked to be released. Through the months I learned then trudged along through cyber/phone Master after Master. I had so many tears I couldn't tell you. All these over some people I had never met. I met people through chat but only as friends. I continued to loose weight and felt very wanted and desired by these cyber Masters even though I hadn't met them. I fought with other subs over Masters as Vampy can well attest to. I also judged people I had no right to judge. I also became very addicted to Chat. I was letting my house go. My bills and credit were being ruined. I had five accounts and bills in the hundreds. I also was not getting any sleep. My husband would come home to me at the computer, go to sleep with me at the computer and wake up with me at the computer. I didn't cook very much and it was all I could do to get my kids ready for school. I justified my actions by saying I have been doing for everyone for years and now it is my time to do for me. I blamed my lack of caring for my husband on him. I would tell him things like "well I warned you for years that if you didn't make me feel like a woman I would cross the line and it would be too late." I started to go out to bars with friends. I was looking good. I started taking to good care of myself getting my nails done, having my hair done and buying new clothes. I was feeling for the first time in 13 years wanted and desired as a woman. I would wait on Chat for hours at a time just for my Master at the time to come on. Even if it was for just a few minutes. Coming on to Chat was the highlight of my life. My heart would actually race as the modem kicked in and I couldn't wait to enter the room.
In September I decided to put my opinions where my mouth was and to have a real session with a Dom. I met him and had a wonderful and SAFE totally S&M Session. He did not want to collar me because he felt he couldn't put into a Master sub relationship what he felt was needed for a bond. I was heartbroken feeling that I didn't please him. Now I totally understand where he was coming from. But I thought at least I tried it real-time and I liked it.
After that I was approached by a Master who said that he was in the scene for over 20 years and was looking for a sub and knew I wasn't collared. We were not that far away from each other. He lived and worked about 45 minutes away from me. We eventually met and had a session. It was also safe. He wanted to collar me but I had hopes of being collared by the first Dom that sessioned me. This new Master doted on me he was firm and really seemed to know what he was doing. He would take me to dinner and go places with me. In the beginning couple of weeks things were purely straight and safe S&M. There is a lot more to this but I can not get into it at this time. It is just to painful. After a couple of weeks of seeing him and talking to him both on the phone and the computer I agreed to be collared. From there on things got sexual and not safe. I didn't question him after all he was the Master although when first meeting him he told me he was married and when asked told me he didn't have AIDs or any sexually transmitted disease. He did tell me that he had had Hepatitis B but that he was not catchy. I didn't question him after all he was the Master. I never would question a Master. Peter {Lord Laurant can attest to my seriousness in S&M. I did not stop calling him or any Master Sir until a year ago.
By the time my Master progressed to unsafe S&M practices and sex I was totally committed to him and could not imagine even living without him. You see most of us know that it is not the physical Domming that makes the bond, it is the emotional Domming.
I was Dommed hook line and sinker. I felt wonderful knowing that I was wanted appreciated and I loved the attention he gave me. I would do anything to please him. Unfortunately pleasing him meant very sadistic practices. I totally trusted him and can not tell you what a hold this man had over me. He knew the right things to say and through it all I still believe that he loved me.
Our S&M practices were now what I can call bizarre I can not go into this also as it is to painful for me. Besides I don't think people still believe that I was whipped over 500 times in a single session. I know this because I counted.
I was taken to an S&M Club where I was whipped, caned, cropped, beaten till I bled. I would have large blood clots on my breasts. I felt happy that I pleased him. I thought I was a great sub. Lioness can attest to this as she stopped a scene that Master was doing with me out of concern for me. Lord Laurent can also attest to this as he saw me, Dommed and expressed his concern to me. He told me when I was being Dommed I was not even there and I wasn't I was in another place. I was in the frame of mind that nothing could stop me from pleasing Master and I would endure anything. He told me that what Master had just done to me was not being Dommed it was being abused. I felt like the good sub when I told Master this. He told me that people just didn't understand that there were different levels of S&M and we were just hard core and that I should be proud that I could endure what their subs could not. I was proud.
Master would call me at 1:30 in the morning -- he worked nights and have me drive almost an hour to rub his feet for 45 minutes on his dinner break. I would drive back home after that. What did I get in return -- the pride of knowing I pleased him. The pride of knowing that I was real-time and not cyber. Besides we also did vanilla things like go to dinner or movies. Of course I paid most of the time. I also was becoming a very respected sub online and that was very important to me. Masters would tell me they wished I was their sub. I now realise in a sick way this was all making me feel good and important.
In February of 95 I started to feel sick. I went to the doctor and to make a long story short I found out I had HepB. I was upset and scared. The hardest thing was having to have all my children and husband have blood tests for HepB. They all came back negative but had to have three shots each. I had to eat out of paper plates and couldn't kiss my own children. I felt like a leper. My selfishness had caused my children to suffer. Watching my son cry knowing he had to have a shot and knowing it was because of me is something that brings tears to me even now. I thought it could not get any worse. I was so sick. I had a rash and the highest temperature of my life. I still went to my Master. I still rubbed his feet for hours. I still pleased him. I remember running a high fever with a bladder infection so bad I was bleeding. It didn't stop him from the fisting or the whippings.
About two weeks after the HepB diagnosis Master told me he had a terminal illness and that was why he was having a hard time leaving his wife. He felt he owed her something. I asked what that illness was and he finally told me he had HIV. I will remember this day as if it was today. Riding in the car with him and him telling me this. My whole body rushed out just like you see in a movie where everything zooms in on you. I was crying and quite hysterical. I told him he lied to me and he said no I didn't you asked me if I had AIDS and no one has ever said I have AIDS... they say I have HIV and that doesn't mean I have AIDS. He told me he loved me and that was important. Then he brought me to a hotel room and Dommed me. I cried the whole time but I just couldn't hate him. I justified it by saying that if I had HIV he would not leave me. He promised I could take care of him and that he would take care of me. After we left and I was alone in my car I called my husband on the car phone. I was still hysterical I told him what Jack had told me. He is a very caring person and although he knew I was seeing Jack he still allowed me to stay because he was hoping it was just a phase I was going through.
The next day I called the health department. I was so upset they had a doctor come to my home to talk to me. He got me tested the next day. I had to wait a week of hell to find out if I was positive. Even if I showed negative there would be no guarantee because you can test neg. up to six months after your last sexual constant. The people at the health department didn't think I could handle the diagnosis either way and decided the only way I was to know is if my medical doctor told me. I could hardly get out of bed I was so upset. I had to tell my oldest what was happening.
A week to the day... March 14, 1995 my doctor called and said she had an emergency at the hospital and could I meet her in the emergency room. My husband and I went. They finally called me in. She wasted no time and said we had some bad news from the health department. You are HIV+. As she told me my therapist walked in and so did a nurse with a shot. I was on the floor at this time. I was put on a stretcher and remember crying and telling a nurse I was only lonely. I didn't mean for all this to happen and I don't want to die. The nurse gave me another shot with tears coming down her face. I will never forget that.
I was brought to another hospital by ambulance and put in a mental ward. I was on a suicide watch as I didn't want to live knowing this. The next three weeks were pretty much a blur. I do know that my family was overwrought and so was I just knowing that I brought this on to them. Where was Master through this all... well we talked on the phone. He reassured me that he would be there for me and that I was a good sub and he loved me. He wouldn't come see me because he knew my family wanted to kill him and I think if they had their chance they would of. I was transferred to another hospital where he did come see me once.
Everyone including my doctors couldn't understand why I had no anger toward this man. They don't understand the power that a Top has over a sub. I think this was the hardest thing for my family to deal with. Why no anger? People who didn't even know me before all this couldn't understand this.
Well I got out of the hospital and soon I was seeing Jack regularly again. Yes he told his wife and even left her for awhile but he started to become sick. He gave me numbers of people to call and even brought me to the AIDS center where he went. His wife was a nurse he said and knew how to care for him. He went back to his wife and I went back to the hospital by force. You see when he went back to her he told me he loved me but that he didn't have to much time left. That if we were together and he died he didn't think my family would take me back. He promised to take care of my children financially as he did from the beginning. I flipped out again and intended to kill myself where we use to meet all the time. I called my husband and begged him to forgive me for all I did that in itself was another story. My husband called the police and they came and got me. I was put in a holding cell with a blanket and laid on the floor. I was handled like a leper and it was horrible. Again to another hospital. I didn't stay long and got out. For a couple of weeks Jack would not take my phone calls the anger finally came. When he did talk to me and see me I was different. It finally sunk in EVERYTHING.
The hardest point was knowing that chances are I will not see my son graduate high school or my daughter college. I would not see my grandchildren when they came grow up. Why -- because I wanted to be wanted. I saw Jack a couple of times after that and the last time I saw him he Dommed me. But you see by then I had gotten away enough to see things as they really were. I also met Karen, my Mistress and lover. Yes before she even touched me I told her I had HIV. Yes she is negative. That is also another story.
Master did not give up easily and it was hard for awhile but the final straw was when he told me that he was told I might of gotten HIV elsewhere. Knowing what we did and knowing that I was safe before him finally broke the connection. I finally asked to be released as all through this I was still collared.
Jack died in December. I found out the same day as I was riding in the car to my HIV doctor. Yes I cried and yes I still cried. I believe that he did love me... You see I have to otherwise I couldn't live with the fact that I am going to die all for NOTHING.
This is my story up to last year I know it is long but it is the truth and believe me I could write a book on the things that I left out. My life has changed a lot since the last time I met with Master.
What does this all mean... to me it means let this be a warning. It is to late for me but to all that are just starting or are considering giving up maybe your life for a Master or Visa-versa. It is not necessary to do so to prove you are a wanted and loved person.
If I could go back to the first time I signed on I would. I have lost the respect of my family although they still love me. I have lost friends because they are afraid of me being around them and their children. I have stopped volunteering at the schools because I am afraid of what the parents would do if they knew I had HIV and was working along side of their children. I have to tell doctors. People I meet in the S&M scene I have to tell I have HIV so they can make a decision as to whether or not they want to be collared by me. I do not want anyone to feel the way I did by having this Master not be honest with me. Of course when playing in S&M I am totally safe and have found out that S&M does not mean unsafe play. A simple hug is not so simple anymore. I find myself analyzing did the person who just hugged me hug me if they knew I had HIV even though I know they can't get it. I find myself thinking if this person that has hugged me knew I had HIV would they even hug me. Although Master lays in his grave he has done the ultimate Dom. He has me for the rest of my life. He is a reminder everyday living this. Should anyone have so much power over anyone? Everyday of my life he is a constant reminder by living with this. Karen has been through hell with me with this disease. Let me tell you HIV sucks. Is it worth it?? You decide!!
I am sending a poem that my 13 year old daughter wrote a few months ago. She just turned thirteen in April (1996).
My Hands
As I sit here, with no sound.
No light.
No one.
I look at my hands.
My small hands.
My closed hands.
My hands are closed to the world.
To you.
To every one.
They were once open.
Open to you.
To everyone.
They held love.
Happiness.
Peace.
No longer do they hold these.
They hold memories.
Only anger.
Only fear.
Only sadness.
Should I open them to the world?
Should I let out the anger?
Should I let out the fear?
Should I let out the sadness?
I should let it out.
I should let it out!
Out of my hands.
Out of my hands.
Out of my hands.....
Now that you have read my story I would like to pass on a few things that I think may help others. If you are interested in a new Dom/sub, ask him if anyone on chat knows him/her personally. Find out what your Dom/sub is looking for. Are they the same interests such as do you both not mind if he has more than one sub. Is he into safewords if you are. How far do you both want to get involved in this? If you are going to meet a new Dom/sub. Always meet in a public place. A restaurant etc. Let some one know where you will be. Do not go with the intent of sessioning the first time you both meet.
Always agree on safe and consentual S&M Practices when you do finally first session. Think about the consequences of both of your actions. Such as if you are married is this possibly worth being found out. I also feel that being in this cyber land is like taking a drug for some people. It was like that with me. If this is so... step back for awhile and think about this. Like a drug a lot of this cyber can give you a false high and be dangerous. I am speaking from experience.
Be Safe, Be Happy, Be smart.
Cold As Ice1
Cold sadly passed as results of illness associated with AIDS.
leeroy jenkins
Just me
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2006
- Posts
- 5,058
Rebecca this could easily be posted in the Ask a dom thread and in my opinion would make a good addition as this is sorta what Lady Aria has talked about, you have to be careful in a bdsm relationship or any for that matter. To bad Cold had to suffer at the hands of her master.
Shankara20
Well, that is lovely
- Joined
- Sep 20, 2005
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- 58,546
om mani padme hum@}-}rebecca---- said:
My heart goes out to all involved....
@}-}rebecca----
not enough discipline ...
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Shankara20 said:om mani padme hum
My heart goes out to all involved....
Hello Shank my dear friend
I feel the same , my contribution to Cold being brave enough to share her story is being mindful in my personal choices. Guess she would be cool with that.
@}-}rebecca----
FurryFury
Addict of Sensation
- Joined
- Apr 3, 2005
- Posts
- 29,460
@}-}rebecca---- said:mmmmmm morning
muah
Yes! It was my Christmas present but only recently was put up. I was waiting for the new countertops first.
I will see what I can do but it may be a day or two, at least. Life is sooo freakin' busy in March. *grr*
Fury
Evil_Geoff
Equal Opportunity Sadist
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2005
- Posts
- 6,375
I've seen the Cold as Ice1 story several times over the last few years, and while it's a nice morality tale, I can't take it as anything more than apocryphal. Stories on the internet that are alledgedly "true" are usually no more than urban legend. My personal rule #1 about any story circulating the net is "check at snopes.com or urbanlegend.com _first_, back track to source and verify and confirm the story, second."
rebecca, did you know cold personally? If not, where did you get the story? Did your source know cold? Know any witnesses? Any of cold's family? If your source did not know cold or any close parties, did your source's source? ... This could be no more factual than the "I woke up in a bathtub full of ice and my kidneys were missing..."
I've been online for _years_, and got started in chat rooms. I'm well versed in the drama queens and bullshit stories that get passed around in chat as "real"... And I'm sorry, but I have to call "Bullshit" on this particularly egregious bit:
Sorry if I am a bit incredulous, but I was a cop for 17 years, had to sort through the BS to get to the truth way, way, way more than I would've wanted to. Just call me "professionally sceptical" on this one.
rebecca, did you know cold personally? If not, where did you get the story? Did your source know cold? Know any witnesses? Any of cold's family? If your source did not know cold or any close parties, did your source's source? ... This could be no more factual than the "I woke up in a bathtub full of ice and my kidneys were missing..."
I've been online for _years_, and got started in chat rooms. I'm well versed in the drama queens and bullshit stories that get passed around in chat as "real"... And I'm sorry, but I have to call "Bullshit" on this particularly egregious bit:
500 times? Five - Freaking - HUNDRED ? ? ? If a pyl is conscious enough to count 500 strikes with a single tail, SOMEONE isn't being played worth a damn. If they aren't in subspace and zoned completely into never-neverland, their PYL ain't whipping them, they're teasing. Hell, _I_ couldn't count 500 strokes and I'd be THROWING them, not receiving.
Sorry if I am a bit incredulous, but I was a cop for 17 years, had to sort through the BS to get to the truth way, way, way more than I would've wanted to. Just call me "professionally sceptical" on this one.
@}-}rebecca----
not enough discipline ...
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Evil_Geoff said:
Point well made Geoff Sir though I don't see it just as a 'nice morality tale' I see it as an opportunity to give people a chance should they wish to read it to consider things that may go wrong. Cold's Story as you have already pointed out as been circulated several years now, its considered reliable enough however to be available at many reputable BDSM websites . I myself prefer go on instinct. Instincts and personal experience make aspects of this story quite plausible to me.
Re the 500 times comment, point taken , accepted and appreciated . I 'tuned out' on the detail and I would have had she said 50. Your call of BS on this is well made Geoff Sir and thank you.
I look forward to seeing your comments also on the next article I post. The topic will be coming from the perspective of a Top .
respectfully
@}-}rebecca----
Last edited:
@}-}rebecca----
not enough discipline ...
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As you can see from Evil Geoff Sirs post above its in the best interest of all that I qualify a personal assurance when I know the subject matter is of an article is authentic.
I do not know 'Pat' . This article was passed to me some while ago. Validated or not I do believe it poses ideas that are worth consideration should you wish to read ahead of this message
@}-}rebecca----
VERY BAD THINGS
Since many of you know me personally I felt this was the best place to tell the community about an experience I just went through. I met a sub online who lives locally, Yuba City, and after many conversations in various chat mediums and daily phone calls we met to play at her home. She was well aware of how hard I am and wanted that kind of use. Last Saturday night I went to see her and we did play very hard as the bruises on her body would attest. She could take a lot and can without a doubt be called a painslut. Before any play started she asked for me not to do a couple of things, one of which was not to restrain her. I honored her requests for the entire night. During the course of the evening we had sex, oral and vaginal. Part of the play was vaginal slapping, light caning and paddling. At the end of the evening she even paid me for coming up (part of the humiliation aspect agreed on in advance) and set up an additional meeting for the next day since she had to go to work that night. As I was leaving she asked for a few more swats from the paddle on the back of her thighs, which I gave her. We then hugged and kissed and I left. I left my toy bag there since I was coming right back. AT one point this girl was with one of the local Modesto members, which to me gave her credibility in my eyes although I never talked to them about her.
I returned the next day, Sunday at noon, and no one was at home. I called her cell phone and some other woman answered. When I questioned her about the girl she said their phones had been switched but she would get hold of her and let her know I was there. I stood by my car and then a cop car pulled up. I was told to stand away from my car, asked if I had any weapons, told to turn around and was cuffed with no explanation. Very shortly 2 more police cars arrived, I was read my rights and told I was being held as a suspect for aggravated sexual assault. I was then taken to the local city jail and put in a holding cell. Four hours later I was taken to the detectives office, read my rights again and signed a paper saying I was making a statement and had been told my rights. I told the detective the entire story from beginning to end. He then told me I was being charged and that "its a dangerous game you play". I was taken to the county jail facility booked for the following charges: Rape, Lewd and Lascivious acts, Insertion of a foreign object and Terrorism. They left me in the cell for 2 days and as you might imagine I knew life as I knew it was over. The bruises on her vagina was all the evidence they needed in my way of thinking to convict me of forcible rape. On Tuesday afternoon I was scheduled for my first court appearance. When the jailer arrived to take me he called my name, I jumped down off the steel bunk and he said," roll up your stuff, all charges have been dropped". This sadist started to cry.
I was released very quickly, had to pay over $250.00 to get my car back and left Yuba City. I have since lost my position at work and been demoted to a lower position, which shows some compassion on my boss's part since I was using the company computer to chat with this girl. Something everyone in the company had been told NOT to do. I am very very lucky that I am not headed for prison for many years and could well have been there for the rest of life. This is just a warning to all the Doms/Dommes out there. be very sure of who you play with...they do have control if they want to use it. This could have happened to anyone, but I was just lucky that someone in the DA's office took the time to check it closely and could find no evidence of force, although I don't know how. Perhaps her statement or the fact she was never restrained did it. The charge of abuse was never brought up and I would have thought it would have, considering how bruised she was, but they knew it was consensual play. As you might had gathered I am dropping out of the lifestyle for awhile but just wanted to tell the people I know why. If anyone wants to copy this to let others know what can happen, you have my permission.
Pat
I do not know 'Pat' . This article was passed to me some while ago. Validated or not I do believe it poses ideas that are worth consideration should you wish to read ahead of this message
@}-}rebecca----
VERY BAD THINGS
Since many of you know me personally I felt this was the best place to tell the community about an experience I just went through. I met a sub online who lives locally, Yuba City, and after many conversations in various chat mediums and daily phone calls we met to play at her home. She was well aware of how hard I am and wanted that kind of use. Last Saturday night I went to see her and we did play very hard as the bruises on her body would attest. She could take a lot and can without a doubt be called a painslut. Before any play started she asked for me not to do a couple of things, one of which was not to restrain her. I honored her requests for the entire night. During the course of the evening we had sex, oral and vaginal. Part of the play was vaginal slapping, light caning and paddling. At the end of the evening she even paid me for coming up (part of the humiliation aspect agreed on in advance) and set up an additional meeting for the next day since she had to go to work that night. As I was leaving she asked for a few more swats from the paddle on the back of her thighs, which I gave her. We then hugged and kissed and I left. I left my toy bag there since I was coming right back. AT one point this girl was with one of the local Modesto members, which to me gave her credibility in my eyes although I never talked to them about her.
I returned the next day, Sunday at noon, and no one was at home. I called her cell phone and some other woman answered. When I questioned her about the girl she said their phones had been switched but she would get hold of her and let her know I was there. I stood by my car and then a cop car pulled up. I was told to stand away from my car, asked if I had any weapons, told to turn around and was cuffed with no explanation. Very shortly 2 more police cars arrived, I was read my rights and told I was being held as a suspect for aggravated sexual assault. I was then taken to the local city jail and put in a holding cell. Four hours later I was taken to the detectives office, read my rights again and signed a paper saying I was making a statement and had been told my rights. I told the detective the entire story from beginning to end. He then told me I was being charged and that "its a dangerous game you play". I was taken to the county jail facility booked for the following charges: Rape, Lewd and Lascivious acts, Insertion of a foreign object and Terrorism. They left me in the cell for 2 days and as you might imagine I knew life as I knew it was over. The bruises on her vagina was all the evidence they needed in my way of thinking to convict me of forcible rape. On Tuesday afternoon I was scheduled for my first court appearance. When the jailer arrived to take me he called my name, I jumped down off the steel bunk and he said," roll up your stuff, all charges have been dropped". This sadist started to cry.
I was released very quickly, had to pay over $250.00 to get my car back and left Yuba City. I have since lost my position at work and been demoted to a lower position, which shows some compassion on my boss's part since I was using the company computer to chat with this girl. Something everyone in the company had been told NOT to do. I am very very lucky that I am not headed for prison for many years and could well have been there for the rest of life. This is just a warning to all the Doms/Dommes out there. be very sure of who you play with...they do have control if they want to use it. This could have happened to anyone, but I was just lucky that someone in the DA's office took the time to check it closely and could find no evidence of force, although I don't know how. Perhaps her statement or the fact she was never restrained did it. The charge of abuse was never brought up and I would have thought it would have, considering how bruised she was, but they knew it was consensual play. As you might had gathered I am dropping out of the lifestyle for awhile but just wanted to tell the people I know why. If anyone wants to copy this to let others know what can happen, you have my permission.
Pat
jadefirefly
Numb
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2005
- Posts
- 2,023
I wish I'd had my caffiene...
I saw this story not long ago. I don't recall, though, honestly if it were simply posted here -- sort of as a "Can you believe this shit?" kind of post -- or if I'd seen it elsewhere.
I've gotta come back to this tonight after class and see if I can remember.
I saw this story not long ago. I don't recall, though, honestly if it were simply posted here -- sort of as a "Can you believe this shit?" kind of post -- or if I'd seen it elsewhere.
I've gotta come back to this tonight after class and see if I can remember.
@}-}rebecca----
not enough discipline ...
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- Oct 31, 2005
- Posts
- 13,063
jadefirefly said:
grips caffiene.......smiles
It was posted here before on another thread by moi
........oh sounds like an agenda huh..........nope.....just the 'writing style' is less mushy than the couple I am familiar with I decided to go this one again and I think its important to consider/explore or denegrate both sides of the symbiotic (heh is that a word) coin ..........ohhhhhh Morning all .......yawnssssssss.........smiles
bridgeburner
threadkiller
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2001
- Posts
- 2,712
I was actually told the Dom story in a BDSM seminar at a local club by someone who claimed to personally know the Dom involved. It's possible, Yuba City isn't a huge distance to drive.......if you live someplace like Iowa and there's nobody else around to play with. But we live in Los Angeles and you can't swing a dead cat in this town without hitting a freak so who knows whether she really knew this guy or not?
The stories may have been based on true happenings originally, but they're more allegorical now --- especially the Cold story. It doesn't really matter if they're true or not I don't know why people need that, but for some reason many of them do. It's not enough to say "Don't be an idiot. Have a safe word and a safe call and don't be so eager to get your kink on that you're willing to go off and trust your life and safety to a total stranger." You have to know somebody who knew somebody whose next door neighbor's niece ended up in a barrel to make the warnings real.
It's like we don't believe things if they're too far removed and somehow by telling a grandiose but sentimentially embellished lie we can bring it close enough to trick ourselves into behaving properly.
This is the problem I have with a lot of folks I've encountered in the lifestyle ---- the tendency to indulge in melodrama. I have a very hard time not rolling my eyes and walking away when people act like morons for the sake of making themselves feel special. It's like people who pretend they're psychic. They demean and belittle and trivialize that which should be wonderous because they're so desperate for it. They have no restraint. By making everything "wonderous" and extreme they consequently make everything boring and ordinary because there are no peaks and valleys.
Who can live like that? Everything being the most desperate, most dire, most glorious, most wonderous, most mostiest, everythingest all-the-timeiest-makes-me-wanna-barfiest.
ahem.
sound of Bridge drinking glass of water choking down chill pill
deep breath.
We're having lovely weather here today. Tea? Cookie, anyone?
-B
The stories may have been based on true happenings originally, but they're more allegorical now --- especially the Cold story. It doesn't really matter if they're true or not I don't know why people need that, but for some reason many of them do. It's not enough to say "Don't be an idiot. Have a safe word and a safe call and don't be so eager to get your kink on that you're willing to go off and trust your life and safety to a total stranger." You have to know somebody who knew somebody whose next door neighbor's niece ended up in a barrel to make the warnings real.
It's like we don't believe things if they're too far removed and somehow by telling a grandiose but sentimentially embellished lie we can bring it close enough to trick ourselves into behaving properly.
This is the problem I have with a lot of folks I've encountered in the lifestyle ---- the tendency to indulge in melodrama. I have a very hard time not rolling my eyes and walking away when people act like morons for the sake of making themselves feel special. It's like people who pretend they're psychic. They demean and belittle and trivialize that which should be wonderous because they're so desperate for it. They have no restraint. By making everything "wonderous" and extreme they consequently make everything boring and ordinary because there are no peaks and valleys.
Who can live like that? Everything being the most desperate, most dire, most glorious, most wonderous, most mostiest, everythingest all-the-timeiest-makes-me-wanna-barfiest.
ahem.
sound of Bridge drinking glass of water choking down chill pill
deep breath.
We're having lovely weather here today. Tea? Cookie, anyone?
-B
@}-}rebecca----
not enough discipline ...
- Joined
- Oct 31, 2005
- Posts
- 13,063
bridgeburner said:
Hey Bridge.......smiles....... I have a confession
laughing here
I had to read that part of your post about three times to 'get it'. Reason being that I speak with an Australian accent so the phonetics are a little different. In the end I was sitting doing my 'impression'.....laughsssss.....of an American accent then suddenly Woooooo Lah it worked !!!!!
If I could get a wav file of my trying to get it right and link it here I would for your amusement..........turns out not as simple as I had hoped it would be.
@}-}rebecca----
not enough discipline ...
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bridgeburner said:
Thank you for your comments Bridge.......smiles........ I almost felt like I had perpetuated some sort of 'crime' yesterday in presenting that article without immediate accreditation.I always present things on this thread with genuine intentions even when I am being silly. Though I accept that Geoff Sir did make valid points based on his own experience which will certianly make me consider the source in the future.
bridgeburner said:
You okay there ?
awwwww ......laughs....... I don't want to know my own dramas much less anyone else's on the best of days. Must be genetics because when I see others getting freaky I sort of feel all tired and just want to cruise.
Ohhh its raining as you asked and overcast which is
we get so many clear sunny days its a welcome change as far as I am concerned.Eh Bridge I did something naughty to your post .Wonders if you'll spot it.
bridgeburner
threadkiller
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2001
- Posts
- 2,712
@}-}rebecca---- said:
hahaha...I didn't even think of that --- I forget that people here often have accents or don't hear and speak as I do!
-B
bridgeburner
threadkiller
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2001
- Posts
- 2,712
@}-}rebecca---- said:
Oh, no crime that I could see. I just assumed it was some tidbit you'd put out for our consumption, to pick over and examine as we saw fit. I don't ever assume these kinds of stories are "true" in the sense that they are absolutely true. They're cautionary tales, and if they're helpful to someone, great, but they aren't things that I can really apply to my life as I'm not the sort of person to get sucked into that kind of a situation, but other people are. I don't know if warnings will help them, but if so then spread the warnings.
Hmmmm.....that's got me thinking if these cautionary tales can really help the people they're most aimed at ---- I mean, the sort of person who's going to fall into this trap isn't really the sort of person who's able to SEE such a thing.
I've got a dear friend who ends up in these kinds of impossible situations --- not like Cold but my girlfriend has certainly had her share of stalkers and nut-jobs after her. She's been fired from jobs and had vengeful women after her and I just got a call today from a guy who's STILL stalking her three years after she's left town.
And she's not a dumb woman by any stretch of the imagination. She is, however, vulnerable because her sense of self-worth is almost entirely dependent upon her appeal to men.
@}-}rebecca---- said:You okay there ?
awwwww ......laughs....... I don't want to know my own dramas much less anyone else's on the best of days. Must be genetics because when I see others getting freaky I sort of feel all tired and just want to cruise.
Ohhh its raining as you asked and overcast which is
Eh Bridge I did something naughty to your post .Wonders if you'll spot it.
Yes, I noticed it, and what's more, I even heard it in the right accent since I've been hearing Aussie from the minute you explained about the Ghoti post.
I should've offered chocolate biscuits, should't I?
-B
@}-}rebecca----
not enough discipline ...
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- Oct 31, 2005
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bridgeburner said:
Australians have regional accents as well Bridge . I do not sound like either Crocodile Dundee or Steve Urwin the Crocodile Man...........ick.......smilesRe biccys no thanks never really been much of fan.........I'll take you up on a chill pill however ............presents hand
@}-}rebecca----
not enough discipline ...
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Something Else
Having a browse on Ebay and came across this ......
License Plate on Ebay ~ Click Me
.
.
Perhaps a match for .........
http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c224/rebecca000/GentlemasterCarGrill.jpg
I had this picture for a few years.......forget where its from
License Plate on Ebay ~ Click Me
.
.
Perhaps a match for .........
http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c224/rebecca000/GentlemasterCarGrill.jpg
I had this picture for a few years.......forget where its from
Last edited:
jadefirefly
Numb
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- Apr 20, 2005
- Posts
- 2,023
Rebecca, I think I forgot to tell you..
My mother, totally umprompted, informed me yesterday that the people at work laugh at her now.
After 30 seconds of silence, after I said "what've you been doing wrong for the past six months?" (because I expected them to have been doing so long ago!
) she tells me a litle story about the beta fish she keeps on her desk at work.
Apparently, if she leans towards the bowl and flaps her hands at about shoulder-height, like fish fins, the fish in the bowl spazzes out and swims around like crazy for a few minutes.
Then he calms down, she waits a while, and does it again. And the fish spazzes out again. It's like they're playing with each other or something.
So my mother spends her days at work, at a car insurance company, sporadically flapping her hands at her fish. This is even funnier if you can imagine my mom in your head -- she's not a tiny woman.
My mother, totally umprompted, informed me yesterday that the people at work laugh at her now.
After 30 seconds of silence, after I said "what've you been doing wrong for the past six months?" (because I expected them to have been doing so long ago!
) she tells me a litle story about the beta fish she keeps on her desk at work. Apparently, if she leans towards the bowl and flaps her hands at about shoulder-height, like fish fins, the fish in the bowl spazzes out and swims around like crazy for a few minutes.
Then he calms down, she waits a while, and does it again. And the fish spazzes out again. It's like they're playing with each other or something.
So my mother spends her days at work, at a car insurance company, sporadically flapping her hands at her fish. This is even funnier if you can imagine my mom in your head -- she's not a tiny woman.
@}-}rebecca----
not enough discipline ...
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- 13,063
Painter on the Eiffel Tower 1953
raven2
"Quoth the Raven...."
- Joined
- Jun 28, 2005
- Posts
- 5,037
jadefirefly said:Rebecca, I think I forgot to tell you..
My mother, totally umprompted, informed me yesterday that the people at work laugh at her now.
After 30 seconds of silence, after I said "what've you been doing wrong for the past six months?" (because I expected them to have been doing so long ago!
Apparently, if she leans towards the bowl and flaps her hands at about shoulder-height, like fish fins, the fish in the bowl spazzes out and swims around like crazy for a few minutes.
Then he calms down, she waits a while, and does it again. And the fish spazzes out again. It's like they're playing with each other or something.
So my mother spends her days at work, at a car insurance company, sporadically flapping her hands at her fish. This is even funnier if you can imagine my mom in your head -- she's not a tiny woman.
LMAO!
bridgeburner
threadkiller
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@}-}rebecca---- said:
Re biccys no thanks never really been much of fan.........I'll take you up on a chill pill however ............presents hand
I don't know enough about Australian geography to know where the different dialects come from but I can hear the differences.
I grew up in the American South split about equally between Texas and the Carolinas and travelling various places all over in between and surrounds. I used to be good enough to tell from a dialect how much money your family had and how old it was --- this works in the Southeast but not in Texas, generally, because of the Western influence.
I've been gone so long now that I often can't tell the difference between the states anymore, much less parts of a state. I actually asked a woman a few years ago, well, what I said was "Excuse me, may I ask where you're from?" and her response was "No, you may not."
I immediately knew she was from Texas and more likely Houston than Dallas. Her accent was clearly Southern but all I could tell was that she sounded like "home" to me and because I can claim both Texas and Carolina as home that can be a bit hard to figure out sometimes. You wouldn't think so. The accents really aren't similar, but it's a visceral thing for me more than auditory sometimes. So, anyway, I'm sure she thought I was being rude since I don't have an accent myself, so she exercised her prerogative as a Southern Woman to firmly but politely deny my request for information.
The feral gleem in her eye and the fact that she was so quick to become aggressive marked her as more likely to be Texan and the minute I had the thought I could hear it in her voice. The reason I pick Houston over Dallas is because her hair wasn't big enough for Dallas. Also, Dallas tends to be more Southern than Western while Houston is more Western than Southern. Texas divides up that way from town to town and city to city. If she'd been from Dallas her hair would have been bigger and she'd have said "Why do you ask?"
If she'd been from anywhere but North or South Carolina she'd have probably said what state she was from. If she'd been from North Carolina she'd most likely have said "Oh, I'm from Townboro," not expecting me to know where she was talking about but almost compelled to mention the name of her town.
-B
@}-}rebecca----
not enough discipline ...
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jadefirefly said:Rebecca, I think I forgot to tell you..
My mother, totally umprompted, informed me yesterday that the people at work laugh at her now.
After 30 seconds of silence, after I said "what've you been doing wrong for the past six months?" (because I expected them to have been doing so long ago!
Apparently, if she leans towards the bowl and flaps her hands at about shoulder-height, like fish fins, the fish in the bowl spazzes out and swims around like crazy for a few minutes.
Then he calms down, she waits a while, and does it again. And the fish spazzes out again. It's like they're playing with each other or something.
So my mother spends her days at work, at a car insurance company, sporadically flapping her hands at her fish. This is even funnier if you can imagine my mom in your head -- she's not a tiny woman.
crosses legs ........sits ...listens......
Miss Jadefirefly I have some news for you . Are you ready ?
I happen to think your Mom rocks !!! Sorry there are no two ways about it, she knows there is more to life than shifting bits of paper from one place to another and takes the time to 'play' with a fish she is alright in my books. Her irreverence for the fact she may look a bit 'out there' in this pursuit only adds to the immense charm I am sure she really has in many areas of her life. Your post also shows clearly how much you love and cherish her. You made me miss my Mom more than usual with this post Miss Jade..........thank you .......smiles
VIVA LE FISH
@}-}rebecca----
not enough discipline ...
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bridgeburner said:
Hello Bridge, I loved reading all of your post you certainly have a knack for making small details read like Epics. Love all the yummy little detail and observations. Even the big hair comment...........smiles
I am not sure you can actually pick where someone is from by their Accent alone in Australia . The range isn't as broad and I suspect accents here have more to do with socio economic groups you reside within more than City of State etc.
I am more than a little intreagued as to what your occupation is Bridge and this is not just based on your comments but your writing style/deliverence as well
