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Andante said:
Actually; leave me out of that one! You see, I don't really understand!
Well, I do understand the worries of being recognized by the nice old lady next door, or your parents, or......! That is, until I realise what kind of people it would make them, to discover me here :rolleyes:
So, someone is a teacher! Ok, I am a business-owner and consultant, living off other peoples trust in my sanity and integrity. In my spare time I'm sometimes involved with the local scout group (and no; don't even think along the lines of scouts in the US).
Would I be asked questions if someone recognized me here? Maybe! Would I be able to explain? I believe so! Would I loose customers or their trust? No way! Would it cause parents to keep their children away from me? I doubt it! Would I end up in the newspapers? No, I don't think so!

What I am saying here is NOT that I don't understand people living in the US being cautious. I have a pretty good idea about the wicked double standards of morality in the US (and a lot of other places), and I appreciate the realities you're facing. :rose:
What I AM saying is, that I am grateful for living in a society that still manages to see the difference between consenting adults and (child) abuse. A society where it is common practice to think twice and use some common sense before launching a public outcry or even a hate campaign.
A society where (most) people still have some sense of what is their business, and what is not.
A society that isn't flooded with 50 lawyers for every one engineer produced.
End of rant! :rolleyes:
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Couldn't have said it better myself. :cathappy:

Catalina
 
Andante said:
Actually; leave me out of that one! You see, I don't really understand!
Well, I do understand the worries of being recognized by the nice old lady next door, or your parents, or......! That is, until I realise what kind of people it would make them, to discover me here :rolleyes:
So, someone is a teacher! Ok, I am a business-owner and consultant, living off other peoples trust in my sanity and integrity. In my spare time I'm sometimes involved with the local scout group (and no; don't even think along the lines of scouts in the US).
Would I be asked questions if someone recognized me here? Maybe! Would I be able to explain? I believe so! Would I loose customers or their trust? No way! Would it cause parents to keep their children away from me? I doubt it! Would I end up in the newspapers? No, I don't think so!

What I am saying here is NOT that I don't understand people living in the US being cautious. I have a pretty good idea about the wicked double standards of morality in the US (and a lot of other places), and I appreciate the realities you're facing. :rose:
What I AM saying is, that I am grateful for living in a society that still manages to see the difference between consenting adults and (child) abuse. A society where it is common practice to think twice and use some common sense before launching a public outcry or even a hate campaign.
A society where (most) people still have some sense of what is their business, and what is not.
A society that isn't flooded with 50 lawyers for every one engineer produced.
End of rant! :rolleyes:
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Perhaps I should elaborate, Andante?

First of all, I respect and admire your opinion.
I live in Canada, and it is pretty liberal, but:
1) I teach very small children. Parents tend to be much more judgemental about who is teaching their 4 year old than who is teaching their 14 year old.
2) I live in a province where I can have my teaching certificate revoked for "behaviour unbecoming of a member." It is actually that vague.
3) I do not yet have permanent contract. I am still on short term contracts. I do not want to do anything that could jeapordise that transition. Perhaps in a few years, when I do have a permanent contract, I will see things differently.
4) I am likely to get a contract through the recommendation of me from one principal to another principal, who then calls me for an interview.
5) As stated in the above statement, PRINCIPALS TALK. They talk about everything. So, what if a principal happens along my pics? Do you really think that, given the choice between someone who posts pictures at a BDSM site - which could give them grief if a parent happens along them - and a similarly qualified person without that possibility of discovery, that they will choose the one with the pictures? I doubt it.
ETA:I don't want to be the one hired in spite of my irresponsibility. So I err on the side of caution.
 
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shy slave said:
As he was brave, this is me taken in Oct 2005 by Andante.

I look knackered but I always do by the end of a visit with him :confused:

LOL
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Hahaha, make you blonde and once again, it is proven that my all seeing third eye is infallible.
 
The reason why I don't post any (face) pics is that I don't really want anyone I know personally (or who knows me personally) to know about my sexual desires. I did tell my partner who needs to know, but other than that it's MY business what I like to do in bed and I don't want anyone else in real life to know, or only those I trust in and choose to tell.

Adding to that I'm probably becoming a lawyer, but might eventually take part in politics. As a client I would not want a submissive woman to take my part in court. And should I ever aspire some sort of career in politics I really don't want the media to find out.

Another problem I have in my mind are first the lurkers around here. I wouldn't mind showing posters my face, but I don't want all those readers-only to know so very much more about me than I know about them.

Then, while I agree with Andante that whoever sees my pic and recognizes me gives me the same information about them, that's only true for the BDSM board as BDSM is more out of the norm than potential vanilla discoverers.
 
Andante said:
What I am saying here is NOT that I don't understand people living in the US being cautious. I have a pretty good idea about the wicked double standards of morality in the US (and a lot of other places), and I appreciate the realities you're facing. :rose:
What I AM saying is, that I am grateful for living in a society that still manages to see the difference between consenting adults and (child) abuse. A society where it is common practice to think twice and use some common sense before launching a public outcry or even a hate campaign.
A society where (most) people still have some sense of what is their business, and what is not.
A society that isn't flooded with 50 lawyers for every one engineer produced.
End of rant! :rolleyes:
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I am American, and proud of it. But no country on earth is above fair criticism, and what you say here rings true.

This is a wonderful thread, and it's fun to see what everyone looks like especially if they bear a breathtaking resemblance to George Clooney. :devil:

However, I would caution all US citizens to be very, very careful about providing open proof of your identity here. This is especially true for those with minor children, and those who plan to have minor children in the future.

In the US, custody of children, teaching positions, troop leadership, etc., are endangered by evidence of something as benign and wonderful as a monogamous loving relationship between two adult males.

With apologies for throwing cold water on a great thread, I say: Please be careful, everybody.

Alice :rose:
 
brioche said:
2) I live in a province where I can have my teaching certificate revoked for "behaviour unbecoming of a member." It is actually that vague.
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First of all, let me stress that I respect your opinion and reasons. I hope that appears from my initial post as well. My point was the differences in public opinion and 'morality' in general.

I am wondering about what you say in paragraph 2. I don't know how things work in Canada, but I guess a thing like a "teaching certificate" is granted by a governmental body of some sort, based on exams you have passed and/or other objective qualifications. That's the way it works here, anyway.
Who has the power to revoke that certificate, who defines "unbecoming behaviour" and what are you a member of?
I am no legal expert, but I am very sure that if someone wanted to revoke a teachers right to teach in this country, you would have to present material to the police that they deemed sufficient as ground for an investigation. The police would then have to produce their findings to the prosecutor, who in turn would decide whether to go to court or not. Finally, the ruling of a judge would settle the matter. Then there is the possibility of appeal, of course. This entire process is monitored by the Ombudsman.
As for the "member" part, most (if not all) teachers in this country are members of a union. I strongly doubt the union would expel anybody based on such reaons. In fact I don't think they can. On the contrary, I suspect they would fight for their members right to lead the private lives they wish, without interference from their employer or society. This would include legal assistance provided by the union.
Furthermore, we have laws that specifically aim at protecting peoples right to live as they please, including expressing their sexuality. A school master trying to get rid of a teacher - or not hiring her, based on such reasons - could easily end up being the one convicted. Plus the school (or society, if it was a public school) would end up paying the teacher in question a compensation.
 
chris9 said:
Adding to that I'm probably becoming a lawyer, but might eventually take part in politics. As a client I would not want a submissive woman to take my part in court.
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I think on this point you've fallen foul of one of the popular misconceptions and myths attached to submissives. In my profession, part of it involved standing up in court on the behalf of abused women. Given I am a slave, this misconception would see me backing down when challenged by a misogynist judge who took the part of the perpetrator (and I later discovered was an abuser himself)....contrary to that misconception I stood up for the woman and challenged his assertions about why she was abused. Eventually that woman got the order she was seeking and up until then had been unable to get with vanilla lawyers representing her. Within the professional area I worked in, I gained a reputation in a number of states including my own, and amongst fellow workers, the medical profession, and politicians, for actually standing my ground and not backing down when things needed to be challenged, both in the area of gay rights and abuse. LOL, one of my friends who was one of the country's most sought after lawyers actually never stops urging me to go for a creer in the lagal arena or politics, but apart from convenience, I have come to the conclusion those areas do not actually give one the freedom always to affect change.

Catalina :rose:
 
Andante said:
I am wondering about what you say in paragraph 2. I don't know how things work in Canada, but I guess a thing like a "teaching certificate" is granted by a governmental body of some sort, based on exams you have passed and/or other objective qualifications. That's the way it works here, anyway.
Who has the power to revoke that certificate, who defines "unbecoming behaviour" and what are you a member of?
I am no legal expert, but I am very sure that if someone wanted to revoke a teachers right to teach in this country, you would have to present material to the police that they deemed sufficient as ground for an investigation. The police would then have to produce their findings to the prosecutor, who in turn would decide whether to go to court or not. Finally, the ruling of a judge would settle the matter. Then there is the possibility of appeal, of course. This entire process is monitored by the Ombudsman.
Click to expand...
I snipped out this paragraph as it's the only part I want to comment on.
Law is different everywhere, so I'm just stating how it would be in Germany. Teachers are not employees here but civil/public servants (not sure either about the translation or the existence of that kind of work in other countries). They can be suspended/gotten rid of by some higher administrative unite, maybe even by the ministry. A court decision isn't necessary. If the teacher in question wants to continue being a teacher he/she will have to take it to court. The hearing is open to audience.
 
catalina_francisco said:
I think on this point you've fallen foul of one of the popular misconceptions and myths attached to submissives.
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I have not. I don't think being submissive makes me (or anyone) less likely to be successful in what I do. It's not about how I see myself but about how others probably see submissives as it is a POPULAR misconception, and I don't want to endanger my income by risking being slighted by potential clients for this reason. This might change once I am a bit established and can at least roughly oversee the consequences.
 
alice_underneath said:
I am American, and proud of it. But no country on earth is above fair criticism, and what you say here rings true.
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I think, and hope, that most people are proud of their countires, no matter where they live. That is very natural, and I think it would be sad if this was not the case (leaving out a few, obscure dictatorships, etc.).
Also, I totally agree with your statement about not being above fair criticism. If no criticism is voiced within a society, things will soon start to get off-track. We have seen that in this country, where certain right-wing politicians with strong anti-immigration views automatically accuses everyone speaking in favour of "non-ethnical-Danes" of being traitors. You have seen some of the same happening in the US, to people voicing their concerns over the legal aspects of the Iraq-campaign, Guantanamo, etc.

I totally accept every individuals decision regarding posting their pic on lit. Every single person has their reasons, and noone owe the rest of us any explanation. I simply used my right to express my opinion and concerns! :)
 
Andante said:
I think, and hope, that most people are proud of their countires, no matter where they live. That is very natural, and I think it would be sad if this was not the case (leaving out a few, obscure dictatorships, etc.).
Also, I totally agree with your statement about not being above fair criticism. If no criticism is voiced within a society, things will soon start to get off-track. We have seen that in this country, where certain right-wing politicians with strong anti-immigration views automatically accuses everyone speaking in favour of "non-ethnical-Danes" of being traitors. You have seen some of the same happening in the US, to people voicing their concerns over the legal aspects of the Iraq-campaign, Guantanamo, etc.

I totally accept every individuals decision regarding posting their pic on lit. Every single person has their reasons, and noone owe the rest of us any explanation. I simply used my right to express my opinion and concerns! :)
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I'm not proud of my countrey. I feel I can be proud of things I achieved. So I can be proud of learning a language, getting good results on a test, cooking tasty food, improving the life of someone.
I am very glad I live in my countrey as on the whole I think it's a good one. I'm deeply suspect of national pride (or religious pride, for that matter), it's too easy to go wrong.
 
ShyGuy68 said:
The sea might freeze, but it haven't done so yet, and the last time it did so, was 10 years ago, if I remember correctly, so it's not very often!
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Now you have brought out the cantankerous person usually buried deep inside me!
How do you define when the sea is frozen? In denmark, the definition of an "Ice Winter" (direct translation) is a winter where we need to put the "State Ice-Breakers" (direct translation again) in service. Their sole task is to keep the main, off-shore shipping lanes open. And you are correct; this has not been the case since 1996. But this doesn't mean that coastal waters, ports, fjords and sounds hasn't been frozen since. In fact they have. Ice-breaking in these waters are done by harbour tugs, pilot vessels, ferries and the traffic in general. The attached pictures are from 2003, showing Egaa Marina near Aarhus, on the coast of the Kattegat (the sea between Denmark and Sweden).
 
Andante said:
First of all, let me stress that I respect your opinion and reasons. I hope that appears from my initial post as well. My point was the differences in public opinion and 'morality' in general.

I am wondering about what you say in paragraph 2. I don't know how things work in Canada, but I guess a thing like a "teaching certificate" is granted by a governmental body of some sort, based on exams you have passed and/or other objective qualifications. That's the way it works here, anyway.
Who has the power to revoke that certificate, who defines "unbecoming behaviour" and what are you a member of?
I am no legal expert, but I am very sure that if someone wanted to revoke a teachers right to teach in this country, you would have to present material to the police that they deemed sufficient as ground for an investigation. The police would then have to produce their findings to the prosecutor, who in turn would decide whether to go to court or not. Finally, the ruling of a judge would settle the matter. Then there is the possibility of appeal, of course. This entire process is monitored by the Ombudsman.
As for the "member" part, most (if not all) teachers in this country are members of a union. I strongly doubt the union would expel anybody based on such reaons. In fact I don't think they can. On the contrary, I suspect they would fight for their members right to lead the private lives they wish, without interference from their employer or society. This would include legal assistance provided by the union.
Furthermore, we have laws that specifically aim at protecting peoples right to live as they please, including expressing their sexuality. A school master trying to get rid of a teacher - or not hiring her, based on such reasons - could easily end up being the one convicted. Plus the school (or society, if it was a public school) would end up paying the teacher in question a compensation.
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I crafted a long reply to this, with excerpts from the OCT website, an Lit lost it after preview.

I will refcraft one later.

for now:
the Ontario College of Teachers is self governing. I can be struck off the rolls without being committed of a crime or charged by the police. If you would like to investigate on your own, the website is http://www.oct.ca/home.aspx
 
rosco rathbone said:
Hahaha, make you blonde and once again, it is proven that my all seeing third eye is infallible.
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Actually I am blonde.

The attached pic is me at about six yrs old.

The red colour comes straight out of a bottle.

No-one actually has red hair that colour, do they?

So your third eye is right RR ;)
 
brioche said:
I crafted a long reply to this, with excerpts from the OCT website, an Lit lost it after preview.

I will refcraft one later.

for now:
the Ontario College of Teachers is self governing. I can be struck off the rolls without being committed of a crime or charged by the police. If you would like to investigate on your own, the website is http://www.oct.ca/home.aspx
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I don't need to go looking for myself. I believe what you tell me, and I do find it to be a tricky construction when viewed in light of your personal rights. It makes it very understandable that you choose to tread carefully.
 
Adante - lots of govt's are like that. Bronn is from Ireland which it's the same situation. He can get fired for 'conduct unbecoming' and stuff like that. Here in the states you can loose a job as a teacher just because a child accuses you of something sexual, they don't need proof. The problem is that occasionally some vindictive teeny bopper will make something up to get even with a teacher for somethng or the other.
 
brioche said:
I crafted a long reply to this, with excerpts from the OCT website, an Lit lost it after preview.

I will refcraft one later.

for now:
the Ontario College of Teachers is self governing. I can be struck off the rolls without being committed of a crime or charged by the police. If you would like to investigate on your own, the website is http://www.oct.ca/home.aspx
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Thats terrible brioche.

It was a long time before I posted any actual pics of me anywhere on the web. The only place I have posted them are here.
Three obscured ones where I am not recognisable, i like them but they are 'different' Another three of the one and only time I played in public.

One of the reasons was due to my job. Up until 2004 I was a government inspector of care homes. I have no idea how my employers would have acted if they knew I posted here, it was more about the homes I went into.

I had a large case load of care homes to inspect and make judgement on. I closed homes, prosecuted homes and wrote conduct reports. If one of the staff in those homes saw my picture here, it have would potentially cause me professional difficulties.

I am currently off sick from a different job and as it does not have a regulatory or governmental aspect I feel more able to say who I am. If things changed I can always delete my pics from those posts.

I don't agree with the concept that our jobs can be adversly affected by our private time; but it happens. It does not have to be an illegal activity to have people view you or act towards you in a different manner once they have information about you.

I do think we need laws, policies and regulation to protect people (if necessary from themselves) but unfortunately it becomes very structured and people end up hiding due to others perceptions of right/wrong and morality.

I hope you get the contract you are looking, teaching needs bright people with open minds :kiss:

EDIT TO ADD: shyguy Andante please stop with the cold pictures and discussion. I hate the fucking cold! Just looking at them makes me reach for the electric blankets!!
 
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Andante said:
First of all, let me stress that I respect your opinion and reasons. I hope that appears from my initial post as well. My point was the differences in public opinion and 'morality' in general.

I am wondering about what you say in paragraph 2. I don't know how things work in Canada, but I guess a thing like a "teaching certificate" is granted by a governmental body of some sort, based on exams you have passed and/or other objective qualifications. That's the way it works here, anyway.
Who has the power to revoke that certificate, who defines "unbecoming behaviour" and what are you a member of?
I am no legal expert, but I am very sure that if someone wanted to revoke a teachers right to teach in this country, you would have to present material to the police that they deemed sufficient as ground for an investigation. The police would then have to produce their findings to the prosecutor, who in turn would decide whether to go to court or not. Finally, the ruling of a judge would settle the matter. Then there is the possibility of appeal, of course. This entire process is monitored by the Ombudsman.
As for the "member" part, most (if not all) teachers in this country are members of a union. I strongly doubt the union would expel anybody based on such reaons. In fact I don't think they can. On the contrary, I suspect they would fight for their members right to lead the private lives they wish, without interference from their employer or society. This would include legal assistance provided by the union.
Furthermore, we have laws that specifically aim at protecting peoples right to live as they please, including expressing their sexuality. A school master trying to get rid of a teacher - or not hiring her, based on such reasons - could easily end up being the one convicted. Plus the school (or society, if it was a public school) would end up paying the teacher in question a compensation.
Click to expand...

First to be absolutely clear , I agree with all that Adante has said above . I am in no way challenging any detail of it . I would however like to add something that I witnessed first hand and propose another perspective to possibly be considered on the topic.

The perspective encompasses 'reputation'. As the 'reputation' in question is that of a teacher and therefore is influenced by interactions with children/minors you might as well say that anything 'negative' is going to be exaggerated from initiation. How exaggerated is not particularly relevant. Once a teacher rightly or wrongly is labeled with any sort of deviation from citizen of the year there are going to be problems even appropriate legislation cannot outlaw .

I'll site a direct example, When my son was about 8 years old we arrived at his school one day to see a huge gathering of parents, media etc. My son travelled to school out of our immediate area so I had not been privy to any previous knowledge 'gossip' as to what I would witness that morning. It didn't take long however to catch up with what was unfolding. News had been leaked that a newly appointed male teacher to my sons school had been reassigned to teaching there while an apparently unfounded accusation of child molestation at a previous public school was being investigated. A core group of parents were screaming blue murder in the car park of the School and refusing to permit their children to attend until he had been removed by the Principal/Headmistress from the site. Who had refused to do so.This led to level upon level of parents amassing as we arrived with our children to start the School day . The whole scene had taken on the horrendous appearance of a mob. It was really kind of scary. My son became confused and upset, I knew standing in a car park screaming profanity as was the case with some would resolve nothing so I left taking him with me. Clearly not an appropriate environment for my child or myself that day and relating to the conduct of the parents involved not the teacher that had been accused. Many removed their children for other reasons, some as a political ploy (I say this because their children would have had no access to the Teacher accused or visa versa), others for real fear for their child and a myriad of other reasons I imagine just like mine semi related. By the end of that School day it was reported by the media that the teacher in question had been suspended from teaching at all schools on full pay/wages until such time that the initial 'investigation' had been cleared. After this point I never heard another word as to the fate of this Teacher whether he ever returned to his profession again or how living through the experience had impacted on his life. It sounds like the stuff of nightmares to me still unto this day. I don't know if the man was guilty or not, I do know the Teacher was 'gay/homosexual/whatever' I am also astute enough to know being gay does not include seeing children as objects of sexual gratification or 'prey' for such and right up to this moment I still wonder if this whole dreadful occurrence may in someway be related to homophobia which is still a very real issue in society in general.

Being homosexual is still considered by some to this day as a deviance. I think its fair to say proclivity to BDSM is also going to be considered same. The ignorance and stereotypes are out there whether we like it or not, they do exist. If I was a teacher I believe the 'reputation' of being known to incorporate BDSM into my life would be a hindrance to a profession that is of huge importance to the future of our children. Not to mention the negative ramifications with family and friends who may also struggle as a part of society to contend with 'perceptions of BDSM'. There is also a privacy factor . Some people just prefer that even though they may share in a micro climate such as the Forum they chose not to 'publish/advertise/share/reveal' their intimate lives with others.

In my case if I was to be informed or had it revealed to me one of my sons current teachers is a 'kinkster' I would think that's cool......smiles.Though that's just me.

Brioche I understand why you reserve judgement not to expose your identity due to your profession. your 'reputation' is tantamount to your ability to teach without restriction from ignorance. Brioche I would respect your right to privacy and your choice not to reveal even if you weren't. Nor would I require you make excuses for such here or anywhere as its your choice.
 
K's considering becoming a pastor, so I might end up taking all pics off here. We'll see.

:)eek: I'd end up being a PASTORS WIFE! :eek: )
 
graceanne said:
K's considering becoming a pastor, so I might end up taking all pics off here. We'll see.

:)eek: I'd end up being a PASTORS WIFE! :eek: )
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:eek: :eek:

Heads for the cookie jar.

Makes you wonder how many other pastors wives are naughty ;)
 
shy slave said:
:eek: :eek:

Heads for the cookie jar.

Makes you wonder how many other pastors wives are naughty ;)
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I just know that someones gonna tick me off and I'm gonna tell em to fuck off and K's gonna be TICKED OFF at me. I just know it.
 
@}-}rebecca---- said:
First to be absolutely clear , I agree with all that Adante has said above . I am in no way challenging any detail of it . I would however like to add something that I witnessed first hand and propose another perspective to possibly be considered on the topic.

The perspective encompasses 'reputation'. As the 'reputation' in question is that of a teacher and therefore is influenced by interactions with children/minors you might as well say that anything 'negative' is going to be exaggerated from initiation. How exaggerated is not particularly relevant. Once a teacher rightly or wrongly is labeled with any sort of deviation from citizen of the year there are going to be problems even appropriate legislation cannot outlaw .

I'll site a direct example, When my son was about 8 years old we arrived at his school one day to see a huge gathering of parents, media etc. My son travelled to school out of our immediate area so I had not been privy to any previous knowledge 'gossip' as to what I would witness that morning. It didn't take long however to catch up with what was unfolding. News had been leaked that a newly appointed male teacher to my sons school had been reassigned to teaching there while an apparently unfounded accusation of child molestation at a previous public school was being investigated. A core group of parents were screaming blue murder in the car park of the School and refusing to permit their children to attend until he had been removed by the Principal/Headmistress from the site. Who had refused to do so.This led to level upon level of parents amassing as we arrived with our children to start the School day . The whole scene had taken on the horrendous appearance of a mob. It was really kind of scary. My son became confused and upset, I knew standing in a car park screaming profanity as was the case with some would resolve nothing so I left taking him with me. Clearly not an appropriate environment for my child or myself that day and relating to the conduct of the parents involved not the teacher that had been accused. Many removed their children for other reasons, some as a political ploy (I say this because their children would have had no access to the Teacher accused or visa versa), others for real fear for their child and a myriad of other reasons I imagine just like mine semi related. By the end of that School day it was reported by the media that the teacher in question had been suspended from teaching at all schools on full pay/wages until such time that the initial 'investigation' had been cleared. After this point I never heard another word as to the fate of this Teacher whether he ever returned to his profession again or how living through the experience had impacted on his life. It sounds like the stuff of nightmares to me still unto this day. I don't know if the man was guilty or not, I do know the Teacher was 'gay/homosexual/whatever' I am also astute enough to know being gay does not include seeing children as objects of sexual gratification or 'prey' for such and right up to this moment I still wonder if this whole dreadful occurrence may in someway be related to homophobia which is still a very real issue in society in general.

Being homosexual is still considered by some to this day as a deviance. I think its fair to say proclivity to BDSM is also going to be considered same. The ignorance and stereotypes are out there whether we like it or not, they do exist. If I was a teacher I believe the 'reputation' of being known to incorporate BDSM into my life would be a hindrance to a profession that is of huge importance to the future of our children. Not to mention the negative ramifications with family and friends who may also struggle as a part of society to contend with 'perceptions of BDSM'. There is also a privacy factor . Some people just prefer that even though they may share in a micro climate such as the Forum they chose not to 'publish/advertise/share/reveal' their intimate lives with others.

In my case if I was to be informed or had it revealed to me one of my sons current teachers is a 'kinkster' I would think that's cool......smiles.Though that's just me.

Brioche I understand why you reserve judgement not to expose your identity due to your profession. your 'reputation' is tantamount to your ability to teach without restriction from ignorance. Brioche I would respect your right to privacy and your choice not to reveal even if you weren't. Nor would I require you make excuses for such here or anywhere as its your choice.
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Thank you, rebecca.
What an awful story. I hope he managed to teach somewhere else - provided the molestation story was unfounded.

Male primary teachers have to be way more careful than females. I've picked kids up and held them. I've held an injured and crying kid in my lap.
I've carried an especially distraught child around with me, to the room he/she refuses to go to. I had one child with fetal alcohol effects who would have a huge temper tantrum, trying to bang her head on the floor and all, and then when I picked her up she'd curl under my neck like a baby. Poor little lamb. She didn't understand what set her off any more than I did. She did have to learn that biting was NOT okay, she only did that once...
 
Andante said:
I totally accept every individuals decision regarding posting their pic on lit. Every single person has their reasons, and noone owe the rest of us any explanation. I simply used my right to express my opinion and concerns! :)
Click to expand...
You are expressing your opinions and concerns in a respectful way, and your observations are very fair. I'm sure I'll have reason to disagree with you about something at some point, but so far I do not. :)

On this Board, people offer lots of good advice to protect others. Make sure you have a safe word...... make sure the ropes don't cut off the flow of blood..... don't strike over the kidneys..... etc.

I have no BDSM experience, but I do have experience with life. My comments here are my own way of offering safety tips to others.

I do not know what the situation is like in other countries, but to US members of this Board, I say again: think carefully about the risks of providing proof of your identity here.

You may be single and childless, but will you always be that way?

You may be thinking - what are the chances that some random acquaintance will see my postings here? Hard to say, but let me ask you something. Do you have friends who know you post here? How about your SO?

You may be in love with your SO and thinking "s/he would never do something vicious to me". If so, my response is: yeah, I recognize that feeling. I remembering loving my ex-husband too.

Enjoy life. Have fun. Take risks. But in doing so, make sure that the risk is worth taking. Make sure you are willing to lose whatever is at stake. Your professional reputation (if not your job)? The regard of your neighbors, or the parents of your children's friends? The respect of your in-laws? Custody of your children in the event of divorce?

Have fun, but never forget: Life is not a fairytale. Watch your back.

Alice

P.S. Because I have no BDSM experience, I am compelled to add the following. My comments should not be construed as a negative judgment on anyone's sexuality. There should be no stigma attached to, or negative consequences resulting from, the consensual sexual behavior of adults. But what should be is not the same thing as what is. Not by a long shot.
 
Okay, I'll try this again for other people's edfication.
Once I finished my first B.A. and the Faculty of Education, with my B.Ed.
(Bachelor's of Education) I applied to the Ontario College of Teachers. I sent them money, my transcripts straight from the educational institution, a negative TB skin test and a Criminal Reference check in which they ascertained that I had also not been pardoned for any offeses, particularly sexual.
Then the OCT gave me a certificate.
They are big on professional resposibility.

From the Foundations of Professional practice:

"Members of the Ontario College of Teachers:

a) build trust with students, parents, and the community
b) exercise professional integrity and judgement."

"What does it mean to be a teacher in Ontario?
...
"It means living according to an ethic of responsibility in collaboration with our educational partners."

And finally, the page Do You Have Concerns About a Teacher?

"When a member of the public expresses a concern about a teacher, he or she is encouraged to talk to the teacher or the principal of the school, if appropriate. In most cases, the principal will determine the need to involve the superintendent and/or the teacher in further discussions.

"When concerns are not resolved at the local school or board level, College staff may be able to assist you in finding a local solution. If not, the member of the public may wish to make a formal complaint with the College. College staff would investigate the matter, and all pertinent material would be submitted to the Investigation Committee for its consideration.

"When a complaint is made, it must be in writing and sent to the Registrar of the College. The complainant must provide his or her name, address and telephone number as well as the nature of the complaint. This standard procedure ensures that the parties have access to the same complete information.

"The teacher is informed of the complaint and is given an opportunity to respond to the complaint in writing within 35 days. The response is then shared with the complainant. Since many complaints arise from poor communication, or a lack of communication, the teacher’s response may lead to a resolution of the matter. If the matter is not resolved, the College will then conduct an investigation, which could include interviewing individuals whom the complainant or the teacher feels can provide relevant information. "

Finally, the union.
I am currently an occasional, in some places known as a substitute, teacher. If I rock the boat before I get a permanent contract, I might not get one at all.

I actually could create quite a bit of trouble for a principal who screwed me over professionally. My union supported me when I refrained from making a public complaint after expressing concern about future professional ramifications.

Ooops, ETA: Regulation 437/97 sets out reasons for professional misconduct. Numbers 18 and 19 are:
An act or omission that, having regard to all the circumstances, would reasonably be regarded by members as disgraceful, dishonourable or unprofessional. and
Conduct unbecoming a member.
 
Last edited:
Anonymity and BDSM

Teachers aren't the only ones with "morality clauses" in their employment contracts.

And involvement in BDSM may, by itself, be considered terms for terminating parental rights in a divorce case, or in an accusation of child neglect or abuse.

Employers in many places can terminante an employee "at will" so if they are socially or morally conservative and don't like your sexual or lifestyle choices you may find yourself without a job.

Many areas have laws that specifically criminalize SM conduct. In England, the Spanner case specifically legallized the concept that someone could not give consent for another to beat them. The case was the result of an arrest made when officers observed an SM scene. The defense had been that there was never an assault and battery because it was consentual behavior. The state argued and won on the basis that consent could not be given for such conduct.... That arguement has been applied to cases in the US as well and won. Though Lawrence v. Texas seems to be a reversal in that trend....

Families can turn their backs on and shun other family members whose sexuality deviates dramatically from the family's norms. Gay? Bi? Poly? "OMG YOU'RE KINKY? You sick twisted, perveted bastard! Get away from us and never come back! " It's happened.

Many people have well founded fears about being outted. Being outted can have familial, financial, social, and criminal consequences. That's why I am a member of the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, that's why I pushed my BDSM group into becoming Coalition Partners of the NCSF, it's why I am personally out and active in the BDSM community. It's my way of being a candle and pushing back the night of ignorance, prejudice, and fear.

Post my face and declare me a pervert! I'm cool with that. But I don't have minor children. My parents and grandparents are dead. My sister already knows, the rest of my blood family doesn't give a rat's ass about me, and I can always get another job. Other are not in that position and may have a LOT to lose.

Protecting the privacy of our fellow kinksters is not something we should consider a burden or problem. It should be a duty, a requirement, an obligation, a responsibility. And one we should consider a priviledge. Because if someone trusts you/me/us enough to share their face/name with us, they are trusting us, literally, with their lifestyle, their jobs, their families.

That's not to be taken lightly, or glibly. It's a sacred trust.
 
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