female character motivations for taboo

[Encased]

Hey,
I keep trying to write a decent story for the taboo section, start one, but I always end up struggling with making it work for the women in them and then leave it as a stub. It's a problem I have in general but here especially.
I lack the "female gaze" on behalf of, well, not being a woman. None of the stories I started are particularly lighthearted as I think a certain amount of damage is necessary to get to the correct point for the idea to work for women due to the immense biological risk and social stigma involved or a non consent scenario of some kind, but I'm really struggling with the attraction part. Men are pretty easy, its the usual suspects and I think if she is aggressive enough in her pursuit, he will have a very hard time to resist her efforts/charms.
Women on the other hand... Hands? Sixpacks? Butts? Biceps? Or is it more a feeling that the guy makes her feel, like security in his arms?
I actually managed to talk to what might have genuinely been a woman that was interested in her younger half sibling, but she only said she'd seen him naked in the sauna and that she had been interested ever since - but that might have just been someone RPing so idk. It feels far too simple and besides, I like the subject exactly because of the complexity it *should* bring and "I saw his dick once" feels a little too easy. That should be "ick" and move on. Ye olde "She's just not sane" doesn't feel right, unless her sibling is a PoS or has good reasons to despise her, he'd try to get her head fixed after which she should be fine again.
I even went to "He's so loaded that he has a private island and she's already too old for kids so it's just fun" but if she's attractive and successful, why would she do it? As for him - he could have most of the women on the planet. But also, most of the women on the planet could be out to fleece him, a few bad experiences and the only woman left that he would trust is her, I guess. But why would it keep going to the point where they would end up in bed instead of with other people?

And then there would be hard mode: Older sister, younger brother. Most of the women I have met in my life date older men and never younger. So why on earth would she pick her younger brother?

That said, I saw a fetish statistic somewhere and apparently the sibling thing has a ratio of for every 2 men interested in it, you'll have one woman - and they have to have gotten into it somehow. Literotica has a pretty big amount of these stories too, and I'd bet that the ratio of readers here is probably gonna skew towards women. Written erotica seem to be a girly thing, on average.
So I'm hoping that maybe some of you could shed some more light on the entire female sexuality thing, it's quite confusing outside of "We wanna get laid too, just as much as you guys if the circumstances are right" but the circumstances are what I'm struggling with.

 

[OralAllOver]

As I understand it, often what you see modeled as attraction and love as a young child, that's what you seek to fulfill you as an adult.

A loving god designed this system?

 

[Encased]

As I understand it, often what you see modeled as attraction and love as a young child, that's what you seek to fulfill you as an adult.

A loving god designed this system?

I'm not entirely sure I understand. Only siblings that see other siblings be involved become this way?

I tried writing that, having a guy transported and swapped in to a universe where its the norm, but it doesn't feel right either.
Maybe the "it doesn't feel right" is the part of my brain that says the relationship isn't and thus keeps me from writing about it.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

It wouldn't be some physical thing. One of the all time most ridiculous tropes in port lit is the "She saw his massive cock and had to have him."

If you're really trying to make it logical (for a given value of porn logic of course) you need to focus on the emotional connection. She undergoes some emotional trauma and he's there for her. Holding her as she cries and she realizes how safe he makes her feel, how loved, how good it feels to be in his arms, the one man she can trust...why shouldn't they share this one other thing....

It's imperfect but probably as close to logical as you are going to get. The reality of these kinds of things is generally much darker.

 

[OralAllOver]

A child sees parents and parental figures. Kids see everything BTW

This can be beautiful sometimes. And sometimes very not-beautuful

I'm getting some of this from Alain de Botton

 

[SarcasticHusband]

My in-pocket go-to for this in my stories (I won’t share yet) is a woman simply unsatisfied with her lot, making a poor choice initially. Realizing she is worth more, and having worked so hard for so long it’s time to take what she wants.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

Something else to consider is what Terry Pratchett called "Narrative Causality", essentially it happened because the story needed it to.
Sure...the FMC could have done X,Y or Z instead of this taboo thing... but then there's no story. And the real world is full of examples of people doing downright illogical things especially when sex and emotions are involved.
As long as you have a fig leaf of plausibility, the average reader isn't going to be too concerned.
So finish your story, have fun with it.

 

[Cagivagurl]

This site is male dominant... My guess Somewhere between 75 and 90% male...
So forget about whether it's possible or plausible from a female perspective, because the reality is... None will read it...
That is only my opinion... Not stating facts or speaking on behalf of anyone other than myself...
Tell your story, forget about female perspectives... write what you feel comfortable....

 

[FromManyOne]

It might be worth mentioning: not all women are attracted to the same type of person (male or female).

If you look at erotic writing by women (which you should), tight butts, narrow waists, and good hands get mentioned a lot. One lady I know finds a good head of longish hair irresistible, or nearly.

 

[NotWise]

I figure that the readers in T/I are predominantly men. I don't get a lot of feedback on T/I stories that seems to come from women.

The readers--at least a significant number of them--don't need the woman to have a realistic motivation. If they did, then you'd never get so many readers for "Mom and son in the back seat" or "there was only one bed," and other flimsy tropes.

T/I stories are fantasies. You can pull out some pretty fantastic motivations, give them verisimilitude, and the readers will love it. But I understand that you're the one who needs the motivation, and that's different.

If you want to be at all realistic then @Kelliezgirl a little ways up the thread was right: it won't be a physical thing. The motivation will arise from relationship and circumstance.

For sibcest stories, I usually use a combination of: the brother and sister have always had a significant relationship; one or both suffer a bad breakup; social, legal, or economic circumstances keep them together. I might have used a few other causations. The route to them getting in bed is never a straight line.

Mom-son stories are harder, and I think the motivations tend to be more fantastic. But, like with sibcest stories, it's about relationship and circumstance. It isn't physical.

Maybe half of my mom-son stories have their sexual relationship starting before the story, so the story isn't about how it happens. Why it happens is always an issue, but it isn't real hard to make things feel at least a little truthy when it's character background instead of current events.

The husband/dad is a variable you don't have to work with in sibcest stories and you can use him as a big relationship factor. I've always kept Dad out of direct involvement in the story, but some people use him to build tension. I've used Mom's boyfriend in a few different ways.

I haven't done daddy-daughter. I've never found motivation that works for me, and the only one I've read that made some sense was written by a woman who took most of a fairly long story setting it up.

I think dark elements help, though they might make you walk a tightrope between too much and too little.

@lovecraft68's how-to essay Write Incest Like a Motherfucker is good reading.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

I figure that the readers in T/I are predominantly men. I don't get a lot of feedback on T/I stories that seems to come from women.

The readers--at least a significant number of them--don't need the woman to have a realistic motivation. If they did, then you'd never get so many readers for "Mom and son in the back seat" or "there was only one bed," and other flimsy tropes.

T/I stories are fantasies. You can pull out some pretty fantastic motivations, give them verisimilitude, and the readers will love it. But I understand that you're the one who needs the motivation, and that's different.

If you want to be at all realistic then @Kelliezgirl a little ways up the thread was right: it won't be a physical thing. The motivation will arise from relationship and circumstance.

For sibcest stories, I usually use a combination of: the brother and sister have always had a significant relationship; one or both suffer a bad breakup; social, legal, or economic circumstances keep them together. I might have used a few other causations. The route to them getting in bed is never a straight line.

Mom-son stories are harder, and I think the motivations tend to be more fantastic. But, like with sibcest stories, it's about relationship and circumstance. It isn't physical.

Maybe half of my mom-son stories have their sexual relationship starting before the story, so the story isn't about how it happens. Why it happens is always an issue, but it isn't real hard to make things feel at least a little truthy when it's character background instead of current events.

The husband/dad is a variable you don't have to work with in sibcest stories and you can use him as a big relationship factor. I've always kept Dad out of direct involvement in the story, but some people use him to build tension. I've used Mom's boyfriend in a few different ways.

I haven't done daddy-daughter. I've never found motivation that works for me, and the only one I've read that made some sense was written by a woman who took most of a fairly long story setting it up.

I think dark elements help, though they might make you walk a tightrope between too much and too little.

@lovecraft68's how-to essay Write Incest Like a Motherfucker is good reading.

I'll second reading Lovecraft68's essay.

 

[deathlynx]

I tried writing that, having a guy transported and swapped in to a universe where its the norm, but it doesn't feel right either.
Maybe the "it doesn't feel right" is the part of my brain that says the relationship isn't and thus keeps me from writing about it.

If this does turn out to be the reason you're having problems, then it might not be the right cat for you. T/I is one of the categories I've never tried writing in. I could probably figure out some situational workarounds that would make sense to me, but for the most part it just doesn't "feel right". Not to kink shame, just not in me. given how heavily some of the other "experimental writing" has weighed on my psyche, I accept it and avoid the attempt until and unless something comes to me that I have to write.

 

[SimonDoom]

My advice is to not overthink it. A little bit of psychology or motivation goes a long way. Most of the stories we write here are short stories, so the reader doesn't expect a ton of backstory to lay the groundwork for taboo activity.

But I agree that for the female character you should do more than simply make her in awe of her son's/brother's/father's big cock/muscles.

In the case of most of my mom-son stories, mom is divorced or widowed, or her husband is not meeting her needs. This plays on the Oedipal fantasy of the son stepping into the father's shoes and fulfilling his duties to the wife/mother. Mom is horny and needy. She's ripe for some action and she's not getting it, for some reason.

Or, perhaps, the attraction springs from a maternal impulse. Her son isn't getting dates, and she wants to help him out.

Or, maybe, Mom, entering middle-aged, wants to feel young again, and Son makes her feel that way.

Tie the desire to challenge the taboo to a basic need or instinct. As I said, you don't have to oversell it. Remember that if somebody picks your story to read, they are looking for a story of that type and they're already half-way to being convinced.

And, by the way, contrary to what some say, women DO read these stories. I know because they've read mine and told me so, and some have even confessed their fantasies to me. It's a big, weird world, and you only have to appeal to a small piece of it.

 

[Demiurging]

The hyperreality that a lot of porn works through allows for a reason, any reason, and any motivation to be blown right out of proportion and into believable character action. Video allows for a short-circuit as most viewers will reasonably go to a certain five minute segment and then leave with their daily allotment of shame or satisfaction as it suits them.

I'd agree that simply seeing an attractive male isn't likely to set off an immediate reaction in a female family member, and I don't tend to like strokers for about that reason. However, a sighting leading into a purple elephant situation where avoidance of the memory is as good as fixation on it for an extended period would work well enough for me.

A focus on emotional validation wouldn't lead you astray, I think. I've even seen a few good stories about "forcibly" extracting validation through sex when it's been denied long enough.

 

[Britva415]

you don't have to oversell it. Remember that if somebody picks your story to read, they are looking for a story of that type and they're already half-way to being convinced.

This is pretty much all I would say on the matter.

Except I can't resist passing on the comical scenario where an actress at a porn shoot retards the scene and pisses the director off because she keeps asking for notes: "Yeah I know we're supposed to wheelbarrow now but what's my character's motivation?"