Jaguar - Another Iconic Brand Consigned to the Dustheap of Woke Fuckups

It's Boy Shit - not Lit Libturd pansy pussified shit. You know, like shootin'. Guys, steel, grime, a bit of grease and some oil, some smells, and some old school blood if you ding your knuckles. There's wrenching and welding and painting and sewing and working with steel and glass and rubber bits, sanding and prepping and tuning and learning and meeting new people who can help and a few who just get in the way. I think you'd like it. Go meet some car folks first and hang out and have a beer and toalk about Stuff. Gizmo Stuff. It's about the Gizmoness.

LOL. I changed the headlight bulbs myself a few weeks ago. Followed a youtube clip. Does that count? LOL.

I'd love to do all that shop stuff. Himself is going to laugh at me but he's rather hands on....oh well, buy the house and the land and put up a workshop first...
 
LOL. I changed the headlight bulbs myself a few weeks ago. Followed a youtube clip. Does that count? LOL.

I'd love to do all that shop stuff. Himself is going to laugh at me but he's rather hands on....oh well, buy the house and the land and put up a workshop first...


Yes, that counts. That's how one gets into it. Acquire tools as you advance up the degree-of-difficulty task list. It's like leveling up. Never miss a chance to level up. Disc brakes are easy to change. Basic maintenance is, too, like oil changes and filters. Older cars are easier to work on because no computers, but carburetors are their own things. Breaker points ignitions are easy enough. So are engine internals, really.


A pole barn is better than no shop. Shop tips: 1, lots of fire extinguishers. 2, lots of light.


Tunes are optional.
 
As every non-MAGAt knows, Jaguar's problems have nothing to do with "going woke." That's just desperate MAGAt logic.

It's hilarious how the Deplorable posters who portend to know about guns and cars know very little about either. :D
 
Yes, that counts. That's how one gets into it. Acquire tools as you advance up the degree-of-difficulty task list. It's like leveling up. Never miss a chance to level up. Disc brakes are easy to change. Basic maintenance is, too, like oil changes and filters. Older cars are easier to work on because no computers, but carburetors are their own things. Breaker points ignitions are easy enough. So are engine internals, really.

A pole barn is better than no shop. Shop tips: 1, lots of fire extinguishers. 2, lots of light.

Tunes are optional.

Well, I found a beginners Jaguar....$1,000. 1965. Looks like it needs some touchups to the paint and an oil change. I'm seriously thinking about this. For a $1000.....

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Well, I found a beginners Jaguar....$1,000. 1965. Looks like it needs some touchups to the paint and an oil change. I'm seriously thinking about this. For a $1000.....

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Respectfully, you need to increase your budget a few shekels. That's the kind of car that ruins it for beginners and they never drive anything interesting, ever. Unless they win the lottery.


And we know that nobody wins the lottery.
 
I have an F150. It's OK as basic durable transportation, but sometimes I want something one or two feet lower and lighter, like a Jag shell with Toyota parts. Driving a huge heavy brick keeps the mpg low. But the fanciest car on Michigan roads is very soon just another POS on Michigan roads.
 
Well, I found a beginners Jaguar....$1,000. 1965. Looks like it needs some touchups to the paint and an oil change. I'm seriously thinking about this. For a $1000.....

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Yeah, I agree with Wat that you need to increase your budget a tad. :D

You can get decent projects for not a lot of cash but you don't need a Jag-in-a-box. Think non runner barn find, they're out there.

If you want to get your feet wet, buy a Triumph TR6. Fun car; they can be a daily driver, they have a decent power/weight ratio, and there's not a lot of issues with them. A bit pricey these days though, but then again, so is everything.

Speaking of fun cars: One of these will get your wild hairs flying.

https://www.topgear.com/sites/default/files/2022/11/For%20Selection%20-%20TG%20-%20Speedsters%20-%20250-Edit.jpg


Not much good with getting groceries though.
 
The day I have to introduce my F150 to a mechanic is the day I trade it in...,
That's my Corolla. My 1st car was an old 1994 Corolla wagon that was my mom's and a year younger than me. She gave it to me when I headed off to Uni and I had it up until 2019 - hit 25 years old, 500,000 miles. I was doing an oil change every 10,000 miles because why waste oil. LOL. No rust. Never needed a mechanic and then the electrics went completely in one hit and it just wasn't worth fixing. At that point, the tires were worth more than the car so I traded it on on my new....Corolla. I was thinking of a small truck, like a Canyon or something, but Toyota had some sorta sale and 0% finance so I was, like, ooookay. Totally reliable anyhow, and I love the seats. Really comfortable. Great for city driving but if we ever do our thing and get some land and build out of town it's an F150 for sure. Need something that can handle winter roads and snow.
 
Yeah, I agree with Wat that you need to increase your budget a tad. :D

You can get decent projects for not a lot of cash but you don't need a Jag-in-a-box. Think non runner barn find, they're out there.

Oh yeah - I saw a couple of those too - you're right of course. Better not to be too ambitious. I did the same thing when I looked at boats. Got all excited over an old wooden Chris Craft...LOL. We actually went and looked at one - it was lovely. But much more of a money pit than an old car.

But.....how about these????? Personally I think this is where Jaguar should go. Build on that iconic image and their history and those old designs and revamp them a little

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HisArpy is correctamundo. Barn finds are a decent way to get a car that doesn't cost you your first-born, is probably all there, and needs a thorough redo. The biggest issue you may have on a literal barn find is rodent damage. One of my two anvil drivers was a barn find. Granny bought it in '46 and parked it with 48K miles in the barn in '74. Her grandson sold it to the guy I bought it from in '19 or '20. He rebuilt the engine and the brakes and cleaned it and got it drivable. Then he got such a deal on a '36, which is what he really wanted, and he made Wat an offer he don' refuse.


It was a compromise. Runner/driver - check. Year/make/styling - check. Model/engine/lack of overdrive - not what we wanted, but not deal killers. It'll do 60 MPH without sounding like it's all wound up. It rides very well, handles adequately, and it's stone quiet - things don't rattle. They were good cars in their day. I dould use it as a driver if I were so inclined - I'm not. But everywhere it goes, folks want to talk about it. It left me for 20 minutes - once. When the coil cooled a little bit, I drove it home and replaced the coil when Brown delivered it. Hasn't happened again.


The one I bought last month is the sedan version of the coupe that I'd love to find. There don't seem to be any left. There are only 20 or so of the top-of-the-line coupes, and I have mine. That's a project, but it'll be very worthwhile when it's done.


Don't do it because you're planning to flip cars and make money. Getting your money back isn't likely. Some cars like muscle cars still seem to be appreciating. My brand is dropping because the people who know what they are are dying off and their kids want rid of their "inheritance." Wat gets better deals every day. The uber-rare fancy ones from the late 20s and the 30s will always be expensive because they are rich boy toys and uncommon. "Look what I got!!!" Yeah . . . .
 
Well, I found a beginners Jaguar....$1,000. 1965. Looks like it needs some touchups to the paint and an oil change. I'm seriously thinking about this. For a $1000.....

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No, just No There's a reason that rear end has collapsed and you don't want to know!

If you put a Bristol into a story make sure it is one of the early ones 1947 to 1954 (the 400 to 403 series). Jeremy Clarkson said that they were "an absurd idea which emerged at about the same time as Marilyn Monroe, recognizable by the fact that the Bristol had much the sexier rear end." I acquired my first of two as a repayment for a debt that I had no chance of collecting. It was not a good deal because while it kept me fiddling around in the workshop for many many hours, fixing a car with bent and battered aluminium body parts is very very expensive. But when I take her out occasionally, it is amazing how many guys not only look at her but feel compelled to run their hands over - especially her rear end!

I sold her a couple of years ago but was not unhappy when the would be buyer came up short with the cash.

At the time that the Jag 3.8 and the 2.3 (4?) were produced Wolseley sold a six cylinder 6/99 the standard UK police car of the 1950's. It was a better car in almost every respect than the Jag, performance reliability whatever, but it had the reputation of a staid middle aged accountants car, - it just wasn't a Jag.
 
No, just No There's a reason that rear end has collapsed and you don't want to know!

LOL. I am insatiably curious. About almost everything..... I have a sequel to an early story partly written which involves and old Ford Mustang - I spent 3 days on Mustang boards and asked a pile of questions just for a couple of pages of talk on Mustang mods.... collapsed rear ends sounds fascinating LOL

If you put a Bristol into a story make sure it is one of the early ones 1947 to 1954 (the 400 to 403 series). Jeremy Clarkson said that they were "an absurd idea which emerged at about the same time as Marilyn Monroe, recognizable by the fact that the Bristol had much the sexier rear end." I acquired my first of two as a repayment for a debt that I had no chance of collecting. It was not a good deal because while it kept me fiddling around in the workshop for many many hours, fixing a car with bent and battered aluminium body parts is very very expensive. But when I take her out occasionally, it is amazing how many guys not only look at her but feel compelled to run their hands over - especially her rear end!

This is what I really love about Literotica. All sorts of interesting real life stuff.....

At the time that the Jag 3.8 and the 2.3 (4?) were produced Wolseley sold a six cylinder 6/99 the standard UK police car of the 1950's. It was a better car in almost every respect than the Jag, performance reliability whatever, but it had the reputation of a staid middle aged accountants car, - it just wasn't a Jag.

I had never heard of Wolseley - just shows - the biggest vehicle manufacturer in Britain in the 1920's and where are they now.....I took a look and they all seem to have a fairly standard look and feel.
 
Oh yeah - I saw a couple of those too - you're right of course. Better not to be too ambitious. I did the same thing when I looked at boats. Got all excited over an old wooden Chris Craft...LOL. We actually went and looked at one - it was lovely. But much more of a money pit than an old car.

But.....how about these????? Personally I think this is where Jaguar should go. Build on that iconic image and their history and those old designs and revamp them a little

View attachment 2431145

That's a Morgan and you can still buy them new (last I heard anyway). Pricey is an understatement.

The Jag Mark II is kind of unique in that it's a "gangster's car." Supposedly all the successful bank robbers of the time drove one as a getaway car. I don't know if that's true but it sure has the mystique that would go along with that kind of thing.

I think Jag should look at the market which Dodge has a headlock on. Big power street screamers that'll run all night with the lights off and still start up in the morning to take you to the 9-5. It's probably more lucrative than any other market niche they'll appeal to. Rolls Royce has the market sewn up for the high end money boys. They're not going to step DOWN from a Ghost or Wraith to a Jag. If Jag thinks they're going to get any of that, they're fucked in the head.

And they certainly aren't going to compete in the exotic car market so that's a non starter.

Personally, if I were to do a resto-mod on a Mark II, I'd find a donor 5.0 Mustang and steal all the guts, including the wiring, from it and stuff that entire mess into the Jag after doing a frame off. Loads of power, luxe and looks, easy maintenance, and low emissions with lots of parts availability. Reliability would be fantastic.

Unlike the factory setup.

While the body was off the frame I'd bag it and then modify the body where necessary for clearance. Fat tires, polished wheels, chrome trim, and tinted windows. Paint it hooker lipstick red.
 
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Or a Dodge Hemi and 8-speed and innards.


Or a Chebby LS, for that matter. This shit is showing up in boneyards and the prices are doable.


Make sure the brakes are all that and a sack of chips with dip, too. Going is nice. Stopping is mandatory.
 
Or a Dodge Hemi and 8-speed and innards.


Or a Chebby LS, for that matter. This shit is showing up in boneyards and the prices are doable.


Make sure the brakes are all that and a sack of chips with dip, too. Going is nice. Stopping is mandatory.

Those won't fit. The 5.0 is barely going to go in there with some inner fender mods and some really creative headers.

The only Jag stuff would be the body and the frame. Everything else would be Ford. Brakes, trans, diff, etc. The interior would use the Mustang seats and custom door panels/carpet/etc...

An alternative would be to use a Honda donor. You can get big power out of those inline OHC's and they'll go in with lots of clearance. I'm just not a Japanese fan.

*edit*

Using a Honda engine might be the best option. The Jag 3.4L i6 is about 200Hp and the Honda K series i4 can do that and a bit more. So a Honda engined car should spank along like the original did.
 
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Those won't fit. The 5.0 is barely going to go in there with some inner fender mods and some really creative headers.

The only Jag stuff would be the body and the frame. Everything else would be Ford. Brakes, trans, diff, etc. The interior would use the Mustang seats and custom door panels/carpet/etc...

An alternative would be to use a Honda donor. You can get big power out of those inline OHC's and they'll go in with lots of clearance. I'm just not a Japanese fan.


Are you sure? I can see it with the Hemi, but the LS is pretty small and IIRC under 500 pounds. I reckon though that, of the two, the Coyote is the more modern iteration. Yeah, you'd want all the drivetrain bits, and all the brakey bits, too. Go fast/stop fast.


I'm with you on the Honda, yes and yes.


I'm pretty sure that I can get a B block Chrysler engine into my '42 anvil coupe.
 
I had never heard of Wolseley - just shows - the biggest vehicle manufacturer in Britain in the 1920's and where are they now.....I took a look and they all seem to have a fairly standard look and feel.
To Londoners, especially any under 50, The Wolseley is a restaurant on Piccadilly. It was built in 1920 or thereabouts as the car company's London showroom. If some discerning gentleman invites you there, go, its pretty good though possibly not quite so trendy as it was 8 or 10 years ago. It's very handy for a meal if you are going to the theatre. My wife likes it: the usual procedure is that she buys tickets for a show - then says "where shall we eat?" I faff around a bit knowing what she wants. Then, as often as not, we end up at The Wolseley, though it's quite a while since we were in London together.
 
Are you sure? I can see it with the Hemi, but the LS is pretty small and IIRC under 500 pounds. I reckon though that, of the two, the Coyote is the more modern iteration. Yeah, you'd want all the drivetrain bits, and all the brakey bits, too. Go fast/stop fast.


I'm with you on the Honda, yes and yes.


I'm pretty sure that I can get a B block Chrysler engine into my '42 anvil coupe.

The engine bay isn't that wide. Basically it drops straight down from the hood edges. Everything outside of that is fenderwell and suspension.

Really thinking on it and doing some quick looksee, a donor Honda Civic Type R or Acura Integra drivetrain would deliver 300hp in stock trim and fit easily. The only question would be whether the Honda/Acura drive/suspension would hold the weight and be controllable cornering/stopping/etc. Could move up to Ford/Chevy components for that. Power Rack and Pinion would be nice to get too, the factory steering isn't all that great.

No matter what option you go with, you're going to chop the inner panels quite a lot to fit a radiator in there and then fab up some ducting to make it flow air. The original is vertical tubes and as narrow
as the grill.

Actually could turn out to be a really fun project and end up with something unusual instead of the same old 34 Ford or 50's Chevy everyone else has.
 
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If I were resto-modding a Jag MkII i would use a modern inline 6.

Toyota Supra, Bmw’s … there’s lots of injected I6 with Getrag gearboxes that would drop right in with 250-300 hp without any crazy $hit and would have the kind of “Grace Space and Pace” intended.
 
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