It's better to leave, at least to me. But it's more than not having sex in my situation, that just happens to also apply.
I left when my kids were young. Sure, I could have stayed for the financial security while living with his contempt. I think the question is how much contempt and financial security are we willing to accept before we hate our partner and ourselves.
I'm the sole provider, have been for 20 years. It's not about the money, it's about the threats she's made to try and ever prevent me from seeing my kids. She'll try and take every penny I've scraped together, but I don't care. I just want to be free and be myself, which she loathes and looks down on. Only a few more years.
It goes to show the the multiple circumstances involved in sexless marriages.
Exactly. There is a plethora of reasons for the situation, and not a one size fits all
I’m curious, “what a racket women can run,” could you please give me some tips? I could use some extra money.
Men don’t seem to realize how important sex is to women as wellJust gonna throw a few thoughts or things to ponder from my ( women's) perspective
* Menopause, women's hormones reduce to 1% of what we used to have (for the most part) Imagine cutting your testicles off. Men, testosterone, really doesn't change a whole bunch. A healthy male will produce testosterone and get wood, even into their 80's and 90's! Our vaginas dry up and turn to crepe paper.
* Once hormones are gone, our brains don't miss sex, it's awful
* I would think most women don't realize that when our sex drive disappears and when we turn down our men's sexual asks, that rejection REALLY hurts them mentally.
* I never realized or understood how important sex is to the husband and a marriage. Men and sex = feeling wanted, needed, intimacy, requirement to be happy.
My personal experience with menopause has been a fucking rollercoaster. My family and myself have suffered some tough times.
Communication and understanding is key. Just some thoughts from a random old lady. Please note this is not gospel...every situation is different.
as someone who had unexpected and unwanted surgical menopause before I was even perimenopausal, I can understand the drop in hormones.Just gonna throw a few thoughts or things to ponder from my ( women's) perspective
* Menopause, women's hormones reduce to 1% of what we used to have (for the most part) Imagine cutting your testicles off. Men, testosterone, really doesn't change a whole bunch. A healthy male will produce testosterone and get wood, even into their 80's and 90's! Our vaginas dry up and turn to crepe paper.
* Once hormones are gone, our brains don't miss sex, it's awful
* I would think most women don't realize that when our sex drive disappears and when we turn down our men's sexual asks, that rejection REALLY hurts them mentally.
* I never realized or understood how important sex is to the husband and a marriage. Men and sex = feeling wanted, needed, intimacy, requirement to be happy.
My personal experience with menopause has been a fucking rollercoaster. My family and myself have suffered some tough times.
Communication and understanding is key. Just some thoughts from a random old lady. Please note this is not gospel...every situation is different.
Great to have a woman's perspective on this subject. I've been following this group for a quite a few months & think your response covers one of the biggest problems in a sexless marriage. My wife has been to hell & back over the past 12 years & has had everything possible to try & help from medication/HRT, therapy, counselling etc, but to no avail. It has completely changed our lives, unfortunately in many ways for the worst. I have been wanting to try & put my experience into words but I think that your post explains many things to people who may not be aware of what the menopause does to a woman - the decimation of the hormones is such a devastating thing to have to deal with.Just gonna throw a few thoughts or things to ponder from my ( women's) perspective
* Menopause, women's hormones reduce to 1% of what we used to have (for the most part) Imagine cutting your testicles off. Men, testosterone, really doesn't change a whole bunch. A healthy male will produce testosterone and get wood, even into their 80's and 90's! Our vaginas dry up and turn to crepe paper.
* Once hormones are gone, our brains don't miss sex, it's awful
* I would think most women don't realize that when our sex drive disappears and when we turn down our men's sexual asks, that rejection REALLY hurts them mentally.
* I never realized or understood how important sex is to the husband and a marriage. Men and sex = feeling wanted, needed, intimacy, requirement to be happy.
My personal experience with menopause has been a fucking rollercoaster. My family and myself have suffered some tough times.
Communication and understanding is key. Just some thoughts from a random old lady. Please note this is not gospel...every situation is different.
BingoJust gonna throw a few thoughts or things to ponder from my ( women's) perspective
* Menopause, women's hormones reduce to 1% of what we used to have (for the most part) Imagine cutting your testicles off. Men, testosterone, really doesn't change a whole bunch. A healthy male will produce testosterone and get wood, even into their 80's and 90's! Our vaginas dry up and turn to crepe paper.
* Once hormones are gone, our brains don't miss sex, it's awful
* I would think most women don't realize that when our sex drive disappears and when we turn down our men's sexual asks, that rejection REALLY hurts them mentally.
* I never realized or understood how important sex is to the husband and a marriage. Men and sex = feeling wanted, needed, intimacy, requirement to be happy.
My personal experience with menopause has been a fucking rollercoaster. My family and myself have suffered some tough times.
Communication and understanding is key. Just some thoughts from a random old lady. Please note this is not gospel...every situation is different.
Yep
You make a very insightful statement. The "idea".....
Sadly, it not just that easy. Lifes pretty complicated. But im seeking to respark our marriage and its just difficult to navigate. Her attitude will not allow happiness. But what else than to try. Or quit. Dunno.
Would she be willing to do bioidentical hormone therapy? My Lady did it. Made a huge difference but then she quit not willing to put in the effort. It's difficult so I'll just understand
I do not k ow what that is, forgive me.
Essentially is a MD manipulating hormone levels via medication. They work too find a combination that elevates mood, energy and desire. It worked but you have to be willing to do the work with the doctor.
She would probably not entertain it if it came from me. But thats not to say it might work. Its mostly her work and the way she seems to have 'out grown' us. It really is like alot of things, it come down to attitude.
Yes that's the big factor in all of this i suspect
What valuable insight. I can understand much of that. Those last two items, though, they really struck home with me.Just gonna throw a few thoughts or things to ponder from my ( women's) perspective
* Menopause, women's hormones reduce to 1% of what we used to have (for the most part) Imagine cutting your testicles off. Men, testosterone, really doesn't change a whole bunch. A healthy male will produce testosterone and get wood, even into their 80's and 90's! Our vaginas dry up and turn to crepe paper.
* Once hormones are gone, our brains don't miss sex, it's awful
* I would think most women don't realize that when our sex drive disappears and when we turn down our men's sexual asks, that rejection REALLY hurts them mentally.
* I never realized or understood how important sex is to the husband and a marriage. Men and sex = feeling wanted, needed, intimacy, requirement to be happy.
My personal experience with menopause has been a fucking rollercoaster. My family and myself have suffered some tough times.
Communication and understanding is key. Just some thoughts from a random old lady. Please note this is not gospel...every situation is different.
This is true if someone is otherwise healthy. My body stopped producing almost all testosterone in my 30s and I rely solely on replacement therapy. The amount of men on testosterone therapy is much higher than you'd think.
Even with nearly 0 testosterone, I still missed sex, both for the physical and emotional/relational aspect of it.* Once hormones are gone, our brains don't miss sex, it's awful
This is 100% true. Most men have an unconscious need to feel wanted and desired which isn't dissimilar from women. It's just part of the human condition.
Much like any other situation we find ourselves in, the situation may be similar, but the conditions which caused it vary widely, person to person.
Mine did the same...I was stunned when she quit.
