LustfulIntentions2
DILF, Allegedly
- Joined
- Nov 22, 2020
- Posts
- 5,659
Day 25: A song for someone you miss
This is probably the closest that I'll ever get to a personal story here on the main boards, but nevertheless: I graduated from high school in the back half of the 1990s (pre-cell phones for most us, look it up kids). The was a girl I developed a very good friendship with junior and senior years. She was popular and super freaking smart and talented as all hell. And kind. Most importantly, kind. I was a good athlete and good student but also an unrepentant straight edge who didn't get off on being mean to people, so 'popularity' had eluded me.
The summer after graduation, we had a 'thing'. She was infinitely more mature about the whole thing than I was, and in hindsight I can recognize that she felt okay taking the risk of hooking up with me for a few weeks in my parents' basement because we, as a collection of friends and classmates, were on the verge of going our separate ways. (Email was still on MS-DOS windows and infinitely low-fi at this point). Sometime in August, we were having one of 'those' conversations about going away and being 2+ hours apart and what it all meant. We were sitting around the fire in her parents' back yard, and everyone else had called it a night but us. She put this song on the CD player-boom-box thing and told me it was the one that would always make her think of me. She was putting me aside, down easy, and I didn't fully ingest that.
Two weeks after I went away to school near Cleveland (I was the last of our friends to depart due to the schedules), she took up with a guy from our HS that was literally everything I wasn't, especially a snobby little prick. A country club punk who stole golf clubs from Dick's even though he had the money. I more or less trashed the friendship over that and felt justified in doing so. I was mean, and harsh, and wholly dickish about it. But ultimately, we managed it, repaired the underlying friendship. We visited each other. Traded messages and phone calls. I almost blew the whole thing up again during undergrad when I told her I still had feelings for her. In her grace, she forgave it, invited me to visit a few months later to meet the guy who would eventually become her husband. I visited, went down on her roommate (and received quite the enthusiastic review, I might add).
She gave me the hardest time about it, then invited me to her wedding to that guy that I think is an absolutely terrific partner and father.
Looking back, I recognize that she was the first person that ever made me feel 'more than'. Not the girls I'd dated previously, not my parents. Years of therapy made me realize that. That's what I had feelings for, and wanted back, more than anything.
We still trade notes from time to time. Remark on how everyone's kids are growing up, and how so many things are still the same, no matter how much has changed. This song still makes me think of her. It's easy and cool to dislike Dave Matthews now, but of it's time and place, it meant a lot to me that this song made her think of me at the time. Still does. I owe her a note.
This is probably the closest that I'll ever get to a personal story here on the main boards, but nevertheless: I graduated from high school in the back half of the 1990s (pre-cell phones for most us, look it up kids). The was a girl I developed a very good friendship with junior and senior years. She was popular and super freaking smart and talented as all hell. And kind. Most importantly, kind. I was a good athlete and good student but also an unrepentant straight edge who didn't get off on being mean to people, so 'popularity' had eluded me.
The summer after graduation, we had a 'thing'. She was infinitely more mature about the whole thing than I was, and in hindsight I can recognize that she felt okay taking the risk of hooking up with me for a few weeks in my parents' basement because we, as a collection of friends and classmates, were on the verge of going our separate ways. (Email was still on MS-DOS windows and infinitely low-fi at this point). Sometime in August, we were having one of 'those' conversations about going away and being 2+ hours apart and what it all meant. We were sitting around the fire in her parents' back yard, and everyone else had called it a night but us. She put this song on the CD player-boom-box thing and told me it was the one that would always make her think of me. She was putting me aside, down easy, and I didn't fully ingest that.
Two weeks after I went away to school near Cleveland (I was the last of our friends to depart due to the schedules), she took up with a guy from our HS that was literally everything I wasn't, especially a snobby little prick. A country club punk who stole golf clubs from Dick's even though he had the money. I more or less trashed the friendship over that and felt justified in doing so. I was mean, and harsh, and wholly dickish about it. But ultimately, we managed it, repaired the underlying friendship. We visited each other. Traded messages and phone calls. I almost blew the whole thing up again during undergrad when I told her I still had feelings for her. In her grace, she forgave it, invited me to visit a few months later to meet the guy who would eventually become her husband. I visited, went down on her roommate (and received quite the enthusiastic review, I might add).
She gave me the hardest time about it, then invited me to her wedding to that guy that I think is an absolutely terrific partner and father.
Looking back, I recognize that she was the first person that ever made me feel 'more than'. Not the girls I'd dated previously, not my parents. Years of therapy made me realize that. That's what I had feelings for, and wanted back, more than anything.
We still trade notes from time to time. Remark on how everyone's kids are growing up, and how so many things are still the same, no matter how much has changed. This song still makes me think of her. It's easy and cool to dislike Dave Matthews now, but of it's time and place, it meant a lot to me that this song made her think of me at the time. Still does. I owe her a note.
