Female Lit authors: How much unsolicited sexual advances have you dealt with as a result of your writing?

[pink_silk_glove]

So to turn your comment around on you, maybe back off assuming people's motivations.

I have to agree with the pot and kettle here since I have a pretty decent irony meter.

Its about trolling the men. The ones running around in this thread going "Oh, I'd never" and yes, they have.

I guess practicing and preaching are thoroughly unrelated in your world, but then I suppose that life is easier when you've paved Judgment Road as a one way street.

 

[onehitwanda]

By the way, the approaches that have worked with me when opening a conversation:

A voice message established almost immediate trust that someone was who they said they were. Vocaroo is great for little snippets like that

A joke.

A comment on something I mentioned in the forum, which told me they weren't just blind messaging all female sounding usernames.

A comment about one of my stories, even negative comments have opened dialogue I've appreciated.

Asking about the kinks from my profile.

An offer to edit for me.

A general introduction to who they are. (Beyond A/S/L, don't be lazy.)

A question about writing.

A request to read their work.

Asking about something mentioned in my profile.

Asking if I'm open to talking.

Asking if my husband knows I write sex stories/how he feels about it.

What has immediately resulted in being completely ignored or blocked:

A request to detail my rape so they could get off to it.

Any mention of Skype/kik/whatever.

An offer to discuss the rough childhood I alluded to because they endured x and loved it and know I secretly loved it, too. (Or a request for details because they "like that shit" and want to get off to it.)

Straight up telling me they want to shove their cock into any part of me and asserting that I will love it.

Dick pics with zero communication first.

Opening lines of grabbing my hair (or neck) and shoving me down.

Calling me a worthless cheating cunt for being on the message boards talking to people. (I don't stray outside of the AH and writing related boards.)

Defending abusers.

Calling me a whore for writing sex stories as a hobby.

And sometimes the former turned into the latter, unfortunately.

Things that resulted in me responding with the intent to mock:

Assertions that I was X because they were Y. (I guarantee if "Dom" is the Y, they aren't anything close to it. They are fragile.)

Opening with a poorly written rape scene. (He turned out to be really decent with a shitty opening. No regret on engaging him and I hope he took my advice.)

this confuses me in many and manifest ways.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

I have to agree with the pot and kettle here since I have a pretty decent irony meter.

And what a hypocrite you are...

 

[pink_silk_glove]

And what a hypocrite you are...

I'd ask you to back that up but you can't.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

I'd ask you to back that up but you can't.

Your own behavior has made it abundantly obvious you are.
But if you want just one small example, how about the post where you claimed that people who won't explain things are tyrants and bullys, then proceeded not to explain things.
Or perhaps are you not a hypocrite, you're a tyrant and bully.
Then again, we can embrace the power of "both" which is probably nearer the truth.

 

[MediocreAuthor]

Can people please stop arguing in this thread?

Pretty please?

(I created this thread because I wanted to hear how many women have had experiences similar to mine. If you want to debate, that fine, but please go elsewhere. I've already had one person apologizing for answering the original question because he was interrupting the argument)

 

[nice90sguy]

I've had a few over the years. I still have the PM's to prove it, and to provide the occasional wank-fodder.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

Can people please stop arguing in this thread?

Pretty please?

(I created this thread because I wanted to hear how many women have had experiences similar to mine. If you want to debate, that fine, but please go elsewhere. I've already had one person apologizing for answering the original question because he was interrupting the argument)

My apologies, you are right, this thread had returned to a positive direction and I shouldn't have let pink_silk_gloves juvenile attempts at character assassination bait me.

 

[Eshu]

Being a male author of online erotica I've had two experiences as a 'female writer'. The first one, when I wrote an erotic story using the first person point of view, in which the narrator/protagonist was a woman. I received three messages from horny guys who didn't even bother to read my profile, or just realising that the nickname was masculine.

My other experience was on a non-sexual literature forum, where I wrote novel reviews with tons of sarcasm. I decided to use a female nickname, to be more anonymous, and in general I gained a lot of respect and followers... until I wrote a review about Fifty Shades of Gray. From my ironic comments it was clear that I had some real experience in BDSM, and a handful of men went crazy. Politeness and respect shifted to wild flirting (euphemistically saying) in just a blink.

I would say that when a woman shows an overtly sexual side online, many guys believe she's easier or promiscuous, and therefore the chances of getting a yes to their crazy demands will increase. The behavior of some men on websites like Fetlife is worthy of a doctoral thesis in psychopathy.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

Can people please stop arguing in this thread?

Pretty please?

(I created this thread because I wanted to hear how many women have had experiences similar to mine. If you want to debate, that fine, but please go elsewhere. I've already had one person apologizing for answering the original question because he was interrupting the argument)

I had already bowed out but then I got personally attacked. And now Kellie is continuing her attacks on me in my absence with false accusations.

 

[stickygirl]

This all fits nicely with the convo I had with a good friend yesterday... I'll report my findings back to her, but I wouldn't want to pour more gas on this dead horse.
Besides, if I'm not wrong the OP directed the question at Female Authors
Yet here we are...

 

[EmilyMiller]

I would say that when a woman shows an overtly sexual side online, many guys believe she's easier or promiscuous, and therefore the chances of getting a yes to their crazy demands will increase.

This has been my experience. I still talk about my sexual experiences here and my writing is influenced by these. I also have myself as FMC in many of my stories. I also have published stories here which are essentially transcripts of Lit sexting exchanges*, or similar chats.

Without opening the can of worms again, I guess I can see how guys make assumptions. Especially as I changed my behavior drastically when I embarked on a relationship **.

Not saying it’s OK to make erroneous assumptions, but I kinda get it. It happens much less now (though, ironically, I did have to deal with one such exchange during the course of this thread - he was polite and backed off).

Em

—

* e.g. A Big Stretch, Mouth To Ass, In The Restroom, The Bitch That Switched, and Something Has Come Up - the last of which wasn’t sexting as such, but each section was shared with “Dylan” and “Jenna” - a current and prior Lit member - as they were written; we then jointly agreed that I should publish

** of the above only the publication of Something Has Come Up post-dates the relationship and most of it had already been written; I actually included a prologue about my new relationship for context

 

[EmilyMiller]

Do I need to create “Emily’s arguing and vitriol thread” as the Sith version of my positivity thread?

Em

 

[onehitwanda]

Do I need to create “Emily’s arguing and vitriol thread” as the Sith version of my positivity thread?

Em

I think you might have to.

I'll put on a less comfortable corset for it if you like.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

Do I need to create “Emily’s arguing and vitriol thread” as the Sith version of my positivity thread?

Em

 

[SimonDoom]

Do I need to create “Emily’s arguing and vitriol thread” as the Sith version of my positivity thread?

Em

I think that's what the Politics forum is for.

 

[EmilyMiller]

I think you might have to.

I'll put on a less comfortable corset for it if you like.

Mmm…

Em

 

[EmilyMiller]

View attachment 2292016

That looks like your avatar

 

[SimonDoom]

Do I need to create “Emily’s arguing and vitriol thread” as the Sith version of my positivity thread?

Em

Seriously, you should not put yourself out too much in this effort. There's only so much you can do. We don't want to find out that you are out in the desert somewhere trying desperately to create a utopian community of harmonious smut writers. Concentrate on the possible and the achievable.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Seriously, you should not put yourself out too much in this effort. There's only so much you can do. We don't want to find out that you are out in the desert somewhere trying desperately to create a utopian community of harmonious smut writers. Concentrate on the possible and the achievable.

Maybe a story idea there .

Emily’s Desert Smut Utopia. Could be a prize winning thing .

Em

 

[EmilyMiller]

Maybe a story idea there .

Emily’s Desert Smut Utopia. Could be a prize winning thing .

Em

I think me and @onehitwanda should carry out a pilot study .

Em

PS Sorry @MediocreAuthor - thread derailing

 

[Djmac1031]

Maybe a story idea there .

Emily’s Desert Smut Utopia. Could be a prize winning thing .

Em

I'd beta read that.

"Oh I've been through the desert
On a cybian with no name
It feels good when I squirt like rain..."

 

[EmilyMiller]

I'd beta read that.

"Oh I've been through the desert
On a cybian with no name
It feels good when I squirt like rain..."

So funny

Em

 

[SimonDoom]

I'd beta read that.

"Oh I've been through the desert
On a cybian with no name
It feels good when I squirt like rain..."

I'm trying to back her away from the edge, and you're egging her on.

 

[nice90sguy]

Years ago, I spent a good deal of time on these forums desperately trying to solicit unsolicited sexual advances.