Sexless Marriages

Since menopause has taken my wife’s libido away and I have been left provide my own relief, I do. She is a great wife in many respects so I don’t want to bail out on my marriage but I still need some intimacy. I don’t want to hurt her in any way so I find it in secret. She has said she doesn’t want to know how I find it. It’s the best solution I have available at this point even though it’s not a perfect one. Being bisexual there are more opportunities available to me than for some.
 
Mlle Sophie,

My brain can easily do it, but my body won't separate intimacy from sex(Schwing!). If there is a way to stop that, do tell, because i agree, it puts pressure on an interaction when it is not needed.
 
Since menopause has taken my wife’s libido away and I have been left provide my own relief, I do. She is a great wife in many respects so I don’t want to bail out on my marriage but I still need some intimacy. I don’t want to hurt her in any way so I find it in secret. She has said she doesn’t want to know how I find it. It’s the best solution I have available at this point even though it’s not a perfect one. Being bisexual there are more opportunities available to me than for some.
May I ask, does she know you are bi?
 
She doesn’t know, or even suspect. I have a had a friend I was meeting with and having sex with and as far as she knew we were bike riding buddies.
You may well be wrong about her not even suspecting! Women can usually tell, if they care at all, but that's another story. Good luck.
 
I have been in this boat for 6 years now. It can be frustrating. I generally go into the bathroom, find some porn, jerk it, and leave unfulfilled. I am not one who is going to look for the physical touch, but one who wouldnt mind getting some encouragment from women.
 
I have been in this boat for 6 years now. It can be frustrating. I generally go into the bathroom, find some porn, jerk it, and leave unfulfilled. I am not one who is going to look for the physical touch, but one who wouldnt mind getting some encouragment from women.
That'a very sad indeed for a guy as young as you are!
 
That'a very sad indeed for a guy as young as you are!
It is. I have a libido on overdrive. She had real bad endometriosis that resulted in a hysterectomy and oefectomy. We havent been able to do anything even when we try.

The worst part about it, i am finding myself looking at any and all women who i find attractive, which is most women.
 
It is. I have a libido on overdrive. She had real bad endometriosis that resulted in a hysterectomy and oefectomy. We havent been able to do anything even when we try.
Have you been to a doctor about it? I had it too, resulting in a hysterectomy for safety more than anything else, due to possible cancer scare, since then I'm the opposite! I'm sure your libido is in overdrive at that age it's not easy, but discussing it with her may help. Good luck.
 
Have you been to a doctor about it? I had it too, resulting in a hysterectomy for safety more than anything else, due to possible cancer scare, since then I'm the opposite! I'm sure your libido is in overdrive at that age it's not easy, but discussing it with her may help. Good luck.
Yes l, she has seen a dr about it. HRTs havent helped nor vitamin E. It is just how it is.
 
I feel everyone’s pain my wife could careless if we ever had sex. Yesterday was our 11 year wedding anniversary and today is our 15 year anniversary since we started dating and I’ve gotten nothing she can’t get excited no matter what I do. I’d love a chat with either female or male. I just feel lonely. I hate this feeling!
 
I feel everyone’s pain my wife could careless if we ever had sex. Yesterday was our 11 year wedding anniversary and today is our 15 year anniversary since we started dating and I’ve gotten nothing she can’t get excited no matter what I do. I’d love a chat with either female or male. I just feel lonely. I hate this feeling!
Hear that - had the same situation a few weeks ago on our anniversary of our first date - snoring from the other side of the bed, Wedding anniversary is in a few weeks and I expect the same. I didn't sign up for this....
 
I feel ya. Like last night on our wedding anniversary we didn’t do much but I tried to be romantic with setting the dinner table with rose petals tgen nothing. So I thought for sure tonight is Friday we got a babysitter still nothing I am at a loss I feel defeated. I just want some attention from her.
 
My wife and I were getting busy last night for the first time in awhile. We had stopped because it wasn't feeling great the last few times. I'm t happened again. Her body doesn't enjoy it anymore. It's gives her this sensitive ok overwhelming feelings that she doesn't enjoy.

So now I'm like what to do? She's freaked out and looked into it, but there's no guarantee it gets better. This is also because we've had for kids and her body is basically traumatized now, but it wasn't this way last year and there's been no new kids. I think this is hormonal and stress related, but how do I help those things when I'm already do what I can otherwise.
 
I have been in this boat for 6 years now. It can be frustrating. I generally go into the bathroom, find some porn, jerk it, and leave unfulfilled. I am not one who is going to look for the physical touch, but one who wouldnt mind getting some encouragment from women.
I feel for ya. I do basically the same. I still love her and I don't want to go anywhere but it is damn difficult sometimes.

It isn't her fault. Medical issues and medical treatment destroyed her ability and desire. She is still the best person I know but....yeah, it's hard sometimes.

Is it terrible that I'd love to chat and get some encouragement from another woman? I don't want anything IRL but a female friend or online chat partner to talk with would do wonders
 
I haven't read all posts on thread but sounds like I hit a double whammy with wife losing libido after menopause plus she just can't take my girth without pain. She's seeing a pelvic floor specialist but it's been almost 2 yrs and no results. It's been a few years now without full sex.
 
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