What makes me quit reading mid-story.

[MillieDynamite]

Bad grammar is the killer for me. Especially if English is obviously the writer's first language. I don't mean li'l typos and the rare or occasional glitch with tense, but just bad, lazy grammar.

Also, I lose interested when third parson narration makes the character(s) sound like a test subject. If it's dictated like the present tense narration in a Russ Meyer movie like 'The Immoral Mr. Teas', my eyes glaze over quickly.

I don't mind third person narration, but it needs to feel personal, not clinical.

An example of a pretty good third-person Narration is found in The Saint Valentine's Day Massacre. While it is dry and ironic, it somehow works, "Narrator: "On the last morning of his life..." And my favorite line in the movie, Jack Nicolson delivers (uncredited) in a scratchy, wizened voice, "Garlic - in case da bullets don't kill ya, ya die of blood poisoning."

 

[MillieDynamite]

 

[Bray123]

A couple of things do it for me; a series of short sentences that read like bursts of machine-gun fire (come on, try a few 'ands' or commas here or there), also second person stories. You'll never find them in published literature and there's a reason - they sound rubbish.

 

[lc69hunter]

bad grammar, gigantic cocks, boobs, stupid plot early in the story.

And, a major negative fetish- mention a cock cage, and I back out of the story. Won't rate it, won't comment. I have played a lot of games and have been topped by a wife and a girlfriend, and both were informed it was a hard limit, and would cause a divorce or breakup if even mentioned

 

[Dr_Strabismus]

Okay, okay, calm down, nobody's putting you in a cock cage.... shh....

 

[Bramblethorn]

second person stories. You'll never find them in published literature and there's a reason - they sound rubbish.

Outside interactive fiction, second person is unconventional for published books, but examples do exist. Charles Stross's "Halting State" + "Rule 34" are two that spring to mind. A search of this forum should find previous discussions on this topic with more examples.

 

[TheRedChamber]

One that seems to have happened to me a couple of times recently...

Any sudden revelation that the male narrator/MC was in the special forces. This normally comes after the MC has saved the heroine from some dangerous situation, often by the strength of his bearing and tone of voice alone.

Don't get me wrong. I'm all for having (ex) armed forces personnel in stories when it's either relevant to the plot or a minor detail thrown in at the beginning. It's when it comes across as someone's Rambo fetish that I'm out.

In the same vein any story where the main character is a CEO (of a Fortune 500 company) when they could just as easily be upper management gets the side eye. Again if the story is 'I threw a bikini party on my personal yatch' fine, if it's 'I came home from doing important CEO stuff to find my best friends car in my driveway' hmm...

This doesn't apply to women btw. In fact always I'm always slightly disappointed with any story where the heroine doesn't turn out to be a katana wielding cyborg witch from the evil mirror dimension. But that's just me

And, a major negative fetish- mention a cock cage, and I back out of the story. Won't rate it, won't comment. I have played a lot of games and have been topped by a wife and a girlfriend, and both were informed it was a hard limit...

I agree. Not ragging on anyone's fetish, but a cock cage mentioned at the start of a story (or worse the anticipation of getting a cock cage) is a good sign that the story is going to give me the exact opposite of what I want for very long stretches. (and what I want is often femdom, just not that...) It's the porn equivalent of Luke throwing his lightsaber away at the beginning of the Last Jedi. It's like, bitch, I bought a ticket specifically to see you wave that thing around.


(Hey, accidentally invoked Kumquat's law)

 

[Kumquatqueen]

I agree. Not ragging on anyone's fetish, but a cock cage mentioned at the start of a story (or worse the anticipation of getting a cock cage) is a good sign that the story is going to give me the exact opposite of what I want for very long stretches. (and what I want is often femdom, just not that...) It's the porn equivalent of Luke throwing his lightsaber away at the beginning of the Last Jedi. It's like, bitch, I bought a ticket specifically to see you wave a that thing around.


(Hey, accidentally invoked Kumquat's law)

That took me a moment - I recently wrote a femdom story about a guy with a cock cage so initially thought you were referring to that! I haven't had my morning cuppa yet, OK?

Though the title is "Strength is a Cock Cage", so any readers not liking that aspect of the content have only themselves to blame. Working on the sequel atm - I'll just say that a wearing a cock cage during the story doesn't preclude it eventually coming off. Though I admit that's not the version of the fetish most readers want. Ah well, I didn't get this far in life by giving people what they thought they wanted...

 

[TheRedChamber]

That took me a moment - I recently wrote a femdom story about a guy with a cock cage so initially thought you were referring to that! I haven't had my morning cuppa yet, OK?

Though the title is "Strength is a Cock Cage", so any readers not liking that aspect of the content have only themselves to blame. Working on the sequel atm - I'll just say that a wearing a cock cage during the story doesn't preclude it eventually coming off. Though I admit that's not the version of the fetish most readers want. Ah well, I didn't get this far in life by giving people what they thought they wanted...

Ah, yes. It says a lot about your name recognition and quality that I opened and indeed finished that one in spite of the title and subject matter. In fairness, IIRC, the cage came off the evening the story was set. There was less of that 'Day 117 - cock still caged.' that really drives me up the wall.

Though if you are taking notes for the future - Lesbian Steam Rooms = great, Cock Cages = comme ci comme ca

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Ah, yes. It says a lot about your name recognition and quality that I opened and indeed finished that one in spite of the title and subject matter. In fairness, IIRC, the cage came off the evening the story was set. There was less of that 'Day 117 - cock still caged.' that really drives me up the wall.

Though if you are taking notes for the future - Lesbian Steam Rooms = great, Cock Cages = comme ci comme ca

I agree that any story mentioning prolonged use of a cock cage really needs to address the issue of personal hygiene! Otherwise it just sounds plain icky...

Sadly there's a distinct lack of lesbian steam rooms for me to take inspiration from atm. The men resent even one night a month of their saunas being closed to them, and their sheer numbers win.

 

[Britva415]

What makes me quit reading mid-story

Reading dialogue where someone is quoted as saying out loud, "so very."

Of course, by the time I get to that I've probably been plowing through almost-as-bad writing for a while already, so it's usually more of a last-straw than a stand-alone trigger.

Unless the author is consistently and effectively writing in a certain period or genre style, "so very" is almost as bad when it's not in dialogue.

"I'm so very wet for you."

She was so very wet for me.

Both sound cringey unless part of a deliberate commitment to writing full-bore old-timey style or something like that. 95% of the time it's not that kind of story and this just sounds jarringly out of place - especially when it's coming out of someone's mouth in a 20th/21st century setting.

 

[lovecraft68]

It's the porn equivalent of Luke throwing his lightsaber away at the beginning of the Last Jedi. It's like, bitch, I bought a ticket specifically to see you wave that thing around.


(Hey, accidentally invoked Kumquat's law)

Wait, you mean you didn't buy that ticket to see one of the most iconic heroes in cinema become a bitter broken old man drinking green alien tit juice?

That movie became the standard in the modern shitting on the classics method of film making.

 

[alohadave]

I agree that any story mentioning prolonged use of a cock cage really needs to address the issue of personal hygiene! Otherwise it just sounds plain icky...

Cock cages and chastity belts. Prolonged wearing would seem to be health issues. I can imagine the kinds of nasty skin conditions that would foster.

Like a fungal infections is bad enough when the skin is clean and dry.

 

[NotWise]

I don't think I've ever been kicked out of a story by an implement.

It's easy for me to get kicked out by writing methods. In the most recent case, the author used an out-of-context line of dialog in the opening sentence as a hook. Okay, maybe a little trite, but not too bad. They got to the same sentence in context within a few paragraphs, and that made me feel like most of the opening wasted my time. Then they had the main character repeat the story to that point in dialog--not once, but twice.

The third time through the opening events of the story was it for me. The story might have gone great places after that, but I wasn't going with it.

 

[Euphony]

I'm over characters made homely, ugly, bigger, etc. for the sole purpose of being white knighted with dick because truly they can do no better and it's a blessing.

One of the top list stories here has a love interest whose "challenge" is mild scaring but the hero dick goes on a long journey from upsetting put downs to "overcoming" to the point he can dick her.

People championing it as romantic in the comments is nauseating.

 

[KeithD]

I'm over authors caring what individual stranger readers say they don't want to read.

 

[AlinaX]

I'm over authors caring what individual stranger readers say they don't want to read.

That seems like a particularly niche genre to indulge in anyway.

 

[KeithD]

That seems like a particularly niche genre to indulge in anyway.

You've lost me. I was responding directly to this thread and the specter of a writer being so insecure in their writing that they would pay any attention to the negative reading quirks of an individual reader stranger.

 

[AlinaX]

I seem to lose you regularly with my sense of humour. I was remarking how unusual it must be to find stories of authors worrying about their critics - although, oddly, I'm listening to Orlando at the moment and have just passed the point of him deciding never again to write for the approval of critics...

But, yes, I know you were responding to this thread rather than whining about imaginary authors, but that was hardly in the spirit of this discussion, was it. Otherwise I could gripe about authors failing to get into the spirit of things, and you could respond to that with a shrug, being over such things.

 

[KeithD]

I seem to lose you regularly with my sense of humour. I was remarking how unusual it must be to find stories of authors worrying about their critics - although, oddly, I'm listening to Orlando at the moment and have just passed the point of him deciding never again to write for the approval of critics...

But, yes, I know you were responding to this thread rather than whining about imaginary authors, but that was hardly in the spirit of this discussion, was it. Otherwise I could gripe about authors failing to get into the spirit of things, and you could respond to that with a shrug, being over such things.

*shrug*

Glad you didn't misinterpret my post. Each time I see a posting of "what I hate to see in a story," I think, well alrighty, the very next time I write a story just for you and nobody else I'll keep that in mind.

 

[AshleyfromCoMo]

Hard to figure out where all these rich executive husbands who have a 45 y/o wife that STILL has that gym perfect figure. That normally stops me in my tracks.

 

[KeithD]

Hard to figure out where all these rich executive husbands who have a 45 y/o wife that STILL has that gym perfect figure. That normally stops me in my tracks.

You do realize that erotica is fantasy arousal fiction, right?

 

[MillieDynamite]

I get your point, but I agree with Keith that in erotica, fantasy is all that matters. I'm 32, haven't worked at my former job since we adopted our son. In that short time, I've gained more weight than I'll admit to and have spread ass these days. Sigh, I miss my old body.

Hard to figure out where all these rich executive husbands who have a 45 y/o wife that STILL has that gym perfect figure. That normally stops me in my tracks.

 

[onehitwanda]

Hard to figure out where all these rich executive husbands who have a 45 y/o wife that STILL has that gym perfect figure. That normally stops me in my tracks.

I live amongst them; they do exist.

When the hardest part of your day is deciding whether you want to drive the Aston or the Maserati to the country club for lunch, and your kids are dropped off and picked up by an au pair or nanny, and your house is managed by a house manager, then you can spend four hours a day in gym at yoga, classes, etc with your very own twenty-year-old fitness instructor.

There are many women around here in the 40 - 50 year old age bracket who, when viewed from behind, look early twenties at most.

And yes, I'm jealous. They live on an entirely different planet to us mortals.

 

[MrPixel]

Hard to figure out where all these rich executive husbands who have a 45 y/o wife that STILL has that gym perfect figure. That normally stops me in my tracks.

Like Wanda said, they exist. My layman's observation as a lifelong social nudist is it's a combination of genes and lifestyle, heavy on the genes. Bearing children... or not... also has a strong influence; the sheer physicality is hard on the body, and there's the hormone roller-coaster.

There are many women around here in the 40 - 50 year old age bracket who, when viewed from behind, look early twenties at most.

Yes. The svelte lady pictured to the left was 74 when that was taken, no plastic surgery anywhere. But also no children. She was a nude model when she was 40, and could pass for mid-20s then, even from the front. If you want to be even more jealous, no gym, no exercise regimen. All genes.