What Are You Nosey About Today?? 🦝

I hear what everyone is saying about communication and I completely agree. Let me ask it in a different way…do you personally prefer having just one partner or do you prefer having as many as you want?

I agree with almost all of what Orchidea and Jake mention above. I prefer to give my attention (to that degree) to one person and request the same of him. I know this is often difficult to find in a long distance setting, but I’m ok with being selective. I’d rather wait for someone who matches my needs than feel like I’m settling for what I can find… and it has worked well for me so far 💚
 
Dude, nosey as to how muh fuckers cover up the smell of a car bang sesh? Cocobutter Air fresheners? Cigarettes?
 
My views on e-boning have changed drastically. Both in terms of the actual act of e-boning and monogamy.

For me, personally, it’s better when there is an emotional connection and a real level of trust. I am just better at it and more relaxed and actually enjoy it when I have those things. I don’t need monogamy (or the illusion of it) to achieve those things, I need the right person/people.

If they’re up front with me about what our thing is, and no one else is getting hurt, I’m good.
Interesting. I agree entirely with you about the emotional connection and level of trust being paramount. I think I'd just find it much harder to achieve that intimacy and trust if I felt what was being said to me had been said verbatim to another guy half an hour earlier.
 
Interesting. I agree entirely with you about the emotional connection and level of trust being paramount. I think I'd just find it much harder to achieve that intimacy and trust if I felt what was being said to me had been said verbatim to another guy half an hour earlier.

Dude, go sign up for E-Harmony.
 
I think if you’re eboning like that then its just about getting off. I’d not be able to operate that way at all.

I think this was someone who really, really needed to feel needed.

But as you say, I wouldn't have minded - or I'd have minded far less - if I'd known.
 
I am now wondering how much “e-boning” (love the term btw) is actually going on. Do people make assumptions about others based on their own activity? I always think that there are a lot of people flirting because of what they put on the boards but it is very rare that I think they are doing more than that (and to be honest it isn’t any of my business). I make very flirty comments to quite a few men and women but I am not chatting with them privately. Most of my flirty comments are aimed at the same people because I know that their responses will be fun and flirty and they aren’t going to start sending messages to me wanting something more.

The idea about women having dirty little secrets because people knowing would make them seem slutty and instantly unattractive is quite misogynistic. Women are entitled to have a healthy sexual appetite and shouldn’t be made to feel ashamed of it.

Well. I have had a few online girlfriends/encounters in the past. But nothing at all for some time as I was in a long term real life relationship with a wonderful litster lady until recently.
I’m happy chatting for now!
 
Wait so you’re talking personal experience here? I’m sorry you were let down. I think we have all been there at some point.
Thanks - I'm sure many others have had far worse. And it all worked out fine in the end.

So now I'm nosey about those of you who do have multiple ebone partners. Do you do the same things with all of them? Or do you seek different people to experience a different dynamic with each? Or just...blonde yesterday, and today is a redhead day?
 
I hear what everyone is saying about communication and I completely agree. Let me ask it in a different way…do you personally prefer having just one partner or do you prefer having as many as you want?

I assume most guys I've talked with (not e-boned, just talked) are e-boning, or trying to, multiple people. Which means, that the couple that I have gone further with have been non-monogamous. And that's been fine with me because I haven't felt any connection other than friendship or potential friendship.

It would be nice to find one person who I had a deeper connection with that I wanted to be exclusive with. But until that happens, I'm fine with just having fun with multiple partners (not at the same time) and assuming they're doing the same.

Maybe I should be communicating more with partners/potential partners about what both our expectations are. But I guess for me, e-boning isn't really serious and therefore doesn't require a real connection. And now I'm worried I'm going to be judged as a slut, but oh well.

As an aside - it's strange, because if I were dating someone in real life, I would assume the opposite if we got to the stage of sleeping together - that if we were sleeping together, they'd be monogamous unless specified otherwise.
 
I assume most guys I've talked with (not e-boned, just talked) are e-boning, or trying to, multiple people. Which means, that the couple that I have gone further with have been non-monogamous. And that's been fine with me because I haven't felt any connection other than friendship or potential friendship.

It would be nice to find one person who I had a deeper connection with that I wanted to be exclusive with. But until that happens, I'm fine with just having fun with multiple partners (not at the same time) and assuming they're doing the same.

Maybe I should be communicating more with partners/potential partners about what both our expectations are. But I guess for me, e-boning isn't really serious and therefore doesn't require a real connection. And now I'm worried I'm going to be judged as a slut, but oh well.

As an aside - it's strange, because if I were dating someone in real life, I would assume the opposite if we got to the stage of sleeping together - that if we were sleeping together, they'd be monogamous unless specified otherwise.
You won’t be judged as a slut because it is your body and your choice.

However, you have said the dreaded “sleeping together” phrase and when Jade logs on, I am going to hide 🤣
 
You won’t be judged as a slut because it is your body and your choice.

However, you have said the dreaded “sleeping together” phrase and when Jade logs on, I am going to hide 🤣

Too late. I saw it and I cringed. Now I need a glass of wine. :rolleyes::D
 
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I never heard of such a thing as an "online exclusive relationship" before coming to Lit. It's not what I came here looking for, and to be honest I still find the combination of those three words to be surprising. Not necessarily bad, just surprising – it seems like a very traditional relationship model for a site that is otherwise devoted to some very non-traditional conversation. I don't think it is safe to assume that's also what your e-boning partner is seeking unless that's something you've explicitly talked about.


For me, personally, it’s better when there is an emotional connection and a real level of trust. I am just better at it and more relaxed and actually enjoy it when I have those things. I don’t need monogamy (or the illusion of it) to achieve those things, I need the right person/people.

This ^ comes closest to my own views, which have also evolved a bit since being here. I don't consciously seek emotional connection in an e-boning partner, but find that it often develops to a certain degree when the e-boning is good, and that can further enhance the experience. But monogamy (or serial monogamy) is not a requirement for that.


So now I'm nosey about those of you who do have multiple ebone partners. Do you do the same things with all of them? Or do you seek different people to experience a different dynamic with each? Or just...blonde yesterday, and today is a redhead day?

The best e-boning to me is a very personal interaction between two unique people, with each being responsive to the other's needs and cues. I guess people have different e-boning styles but "doing the same things with all of them" is inconceivable to me. In terms of variety of partners, I don't intentionally seek it, it's more like having multiple friends with different personalities. You have certain things in common with one and different things with another. You cherish them both but for different reasons -- one is funny, one is serious, etc.
 
Dude, pretty nosey about one of the tattoos I saw on this stripper today. She said it was her kid’s face but I swear it looked just like Robin Williams in Mrs Doubtfire.
 
You won’t be judged as a slut because it is your body and your choice.

However, you have said the dreaded “sleeping together” phrase and when Jade logs on, I am going to hide 🤣

You're not a slut, don't worry about that at all! Some people will always judge, but that's their problem, not yours. You are a good, caring person and are having fun so you be you boo! :heart::kiss::)

Thank you ladies... I appreciate the backup & boosts! And though I cringe a little, because it's never comfortable being judged, if someone does, I figure it outs them as someone I won't get along with so that's fine... but it's even better when something reveals the ones who will have your back! :heart::rose:

Too late. I saw it and I cringed. Now I need a glass of wine. :rolleyes::D

Yeah, I can see that that phrase is a little middle school or cheesy rom-com LOL I promise to avoid it in future! :D
 
I've been reluctant to add my thoughts to the conversation because I'm e-bone averse these days. But, for the sake of discussion...

I think the biggest thing is to be honest with yourself and any partners about expectations upfront. That may not be convenient, or sexy. But the lesson I learned is that. If everybody knows the score and can make an informed choice then go to town. But the disconnect between person A who thinks it's a fun one off to get off and person B who thinks it means somethong romantic or exclusive is absolutely a killer and nothing but trouble and pain.

For myself, I feel like I don't get anything from cyber sex I can't get from porn, stories, or just my imagination. So why involve another person? I would like to think it would be different if it was someone I had an emotional connection to. In that sense I think I would like something that wasn't just about right now and getting off. Something that wasn't necessarily exclusive, but was structured in it's boundaries and open in it's honesty and built on a sense of fidelity. But experience teaches me that I probably can't trust anybody enough online for that to ever happen. It just isn't how I'm wired, it seems.
 
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For myself, I feel like I don't get anything from cyber sex I can't get from porn, stories, or just my imagination. So why involve another person?

I'm sure people have different views on this. For me, what I get from it is not necessarily a different outcome but a different type of journey. The personalized and interactive element(s) of e-boning differentiate it from porn and stories (both of which I also like at times). And while I do have a vivid imagination, I also like being surprised, which adds an element of frisson in comparison to a scenario I invent in my own head. I also like learning about other people's styles, expectations, desires.
 
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I never heard of such a thing as an "online exclusive relationship" before coming to Lit. It's not what I came here looking for, and to be honest I still find the combination of those three words to be surprising. Not necessarily bad, just surprising – it seems like a very traditional relationship model for a site that is otherwise devoted to some very non-traditional conversation. I don't think it is safe to assume that's also what your e-boning partner is seeking unless that's something you've explicitly talked about.




This ^ comes closest to my own views, which have also evolved a bit since being here. I don't consciously seek emotional connection in an e-boning partner, but find that it often develops to a certain degree when the e-boning is good, and that can further enhance the experience. But monogamy (or serial monogamy) is not a requirement for that.




The best e-boning to me is a very personal interaction between two unique people, with each being responsive to the other's needs and cues. I guess people have different e-boning styles but "doing the same things with all of them" is inconceivable to me. In terms of variety of partners, I don't intentionally seek it, it's more like having multiple friends with different personalities. You have certain things in common with one and different things with another. You cherish them both but for different reasons -- one is funny, one is serious, etc.

I agree with all this, I think she (and Rainshine) said what I wanted to but much better! :rose:
 
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