What Are You Nosey About Today?? 🦝

[Deleted member 5521640]

ohhh, those are good ideas! I may steal them! lol

Steal away! I put them out there for public consumption

 

[AmberLGreen]

I used to take some effort and give some snarky comments to guys who sent things like this. To "You know your pussy wants this dick" I'd reply "Yeah, my pussy wants your dick as much as it wants gonorrhea!". To 'How wet are you right now" I'd say "It was wet until I saw who sent this PM; then it dried up faster than the Sahara!"

Now I just tell them to fuck off and block them. I'm getting too old to deal with men who act like horny teenagers.

I am beginning to feel like an oddity. I never get messages like this. I got one when I first joined lit but since then the messages I receive are normally based around things I have posted or people just saying “Hi, how are you today”. Sometimes it is a “hi” with details about them working away and looking for some fun. I just tell them that isn’t what I am looking for and wish them all the best with their search.

Starting to think something is wrong with me now! Confidence shattered!

 

[cheekygirl75]

I'm nosey about how long it took people to move from Stage 1 of Lit (like a fat kid in a candy store) to Stage 2 of Lit (slightly jaded and not as willing to entertain new messages). For me, I think I'm started to feel used in certain cases, so I need to shut down that crap.

I'm just back again after several years away & really participating for the first time, so I think I'm still in stage 1. But I've also lurked on here and been on other message boards long enough to hopefully be able to protect myself when needed, while also getting to know people which I really like to do. I've had some really good conversations this time around and hopefully that will keep up!

 

[cheekygirl75]

I am beginning to feel like an oddity. I never get messages like this. I got one when I first joined lit but since then the messages I receive are normally based around things I have posted or people just saying “Hi, how are you today”. Sometimes it is a “hi” with details about them working away and looking for some fun. I just tell them that isn’t what I am looking for and wish them all the best with their search.

Starting to think something is wrong with me now! Confidence shattered!

Oh, I don't get messages like that either & I don't think I ever really have. I get the basic hi how are you ones, but rarely if ever explicit ones (at least from people I don't know )

 

[Deleted member 5521640]

I am beginning to feel like an oddity. I never get messages like this. I got one when I first joined lit but since then the messages I receive are normally based around things I have posted or people just saying “Hi, how are you today”. Sometimes it is a “hi” with details about them working away and looking for some fun. I just tell them that isn’t what I am looking for and wish them all the best with their search.

Starting to think something is wrong with me now! Confidence shattered!

I haven't gotten one in a while now; my signature helps put off the less confident guys. I would get them if I posted something sexual. If I put a post in one of the masturbation threads saying "I'm playing with myself and my pussy is really wet right now," then the PM floodgates would open up. That's one of the reasons why I don't post a lot of shit like that anymore. I just don't want to deal with it. My time's more valuable to me than that.

 

[Azuldrgon]

I'm nosey about how long it took people to move from Stage 1 of Lit (like a fat kid in a candy store) to Stage 2 of Lit (slightly jaded and not as willing to entertain new messages). For me, I think I'm started to feel used in certain cases, so I need to shut down that crap.

I like getting messages. The thing is because I am "the nice guy" I don't get hit on as much. It's a good thing because I'm not always like that all the time. The folks who have gotten past that stigma know how I am and we're still friends. So that's a good sign.

The big thing is you always have the power to say no. Just because you are a woman and you like to share doesn't mean you are obligated to share with everyone. It's just like being at a bar. Any person can try to strike a conversation, but if you're not interested, just say so. The difference is the insecure folks who think you owe them something have the anonymity of the internet to be as big of an asshole as they want. That's why we have the ignore button.
You can also close off your pm box when you feel overwhelmed. It's always an option albeit it closes off for the ones you want to converse with. At the end of the day, you make the experience what you want and you take care of you.

 

[AbsintheFather]

I'm nosey about how long it took people to move from Stage 1 of Lit (like a fat kid in a candy store) to Stage 2 of Lit (slightly jaded and not as willing to entertain new messages). For me, I think I'm started to feel used in certain cases, so I need to shut down that crap.

Oh, there are many more stages of Lit,

Stage 1 of Lit (like a fat kid in a candy store),
Stage 2 of Lit (slightly jaded and not as willing to entertain new messages),
Stage 3 of Lit (try the 'exclusivity' thing)
Stage 4 of Lit (fuck up a relationship so badly you have to return as an Alt)
Stage 5 of Lit (take an extended 'break')
Stage 6 of Lit (slightly jaded and not as willing to entertain new messages, v 2.0)


Others, like Ravi, er, Lance have other stages including creating multiple alts, killing them off by pretending to be dead and then making new Alts.

 

[ydahecnot]

For me, the stages are simple: into Lit, and not into Lit. Of course everyone starts out into Lit; why sign up otherwise? Sometimes things are enjoyable in whatever sense and I am around a shit-ton. Other times, the vibe isn’t there and I may not be on much for a while.

I would say take the break if you’re not feeling it. This isn’t a job where you have to clock in

 

[Fingerfuxs]

This isn’t a job where you have to clock in

The best answer Ever , truth staring everyone in the face.

Kudos sunshine.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

For me, the stages are simple: into Lit, and not into Lit. Of course everyone starts out into Lit; why sign up otherwise? Sometimes things are enjoyable in whatever sense and I am around a shit-ton. Other times, the vibe isn’t there and I may not be on much for a while.

I would say take the break if you’re not feeling it. This isn’t a job where you have to clock in

Absolutely accurate. The best Lit advice I ever got "If it's not fun, don't be here."

I take that personally- if Lit is adding annoyance and stress to my life, I'm not here. BUT I also try to make Lit more fun because it encourages more people to be here and engage.

Lit is at its best when there are lots of people engaging and being fun, flirty, and creative.

Lit is at it's worst when people are being petty, causing drama and trying to rule the roost. That just causes people to spend their day being fun elsewhere.

As far as Bambi's question - That first stage goes pretty quickly. It's fun and necessary but completely unsustainable. The next phase is deciding what kind of Litster you want to be. Whatever that looks like.

AF's list is pretty accurate though

 

[saustin5432]

Lit is at it's worst when people are being petty, causing drama and trying to rule the roost. That just causes people to spend their day being fun elsewhere.

This is definitely the reason behind why I dropped off for what amounted to years. I finally decided the fun wasn't enough to overcome the stress/drama. That's just not a balance I want for my mental health.

 

[AmberLGreen]

I am going to say something because it is really bugging me. It might not make me very popular but my Lit way is to be honest.

I feel the guys get a bit of a rough deal sometimes. They get slated for the PMs they send, then again for how they treat women. I am surprised that some of them even bother talking to the women sometimes.

On the subject of feeling used, this is a two way street. If I sat here tonight and thought I want some “fun”, I know which guys I could message for that. I would totally be using that guy for that purpose. I know which guys would be ok with that. If a woman regularly posts that she is here for the fun and has multiple play partners, why is a guy messaging her just for fun so wrong.

Bambi I have always liked that you have been open about what you want but you now seem to be contradicting this. It is totally acceptable for you to change what you want but don’t blame the guys for using you if they don’t know what your expectations are.

 

[SassySheDevil]

I don't mind getting to know new people. I like it. But as you stated, women get much more explicit messages than men receive. I was referring more to the men who are all over you for a certain amount of time and then fade away as the newness wears off. I have long-term friends on here who I know care about me as a person. I need to work on my skills of distinguishing between the good people and those who are "here today, gone tomorrow".

I think you will find many conversations with women about this subject.

MANY, NOT ALL guys like the whole flavor of the week. ( I cannot speak to women because women don't hit on me or send me flirty messages wanting to fuck my brains out)
Many guys will wander the boards looking for "Fresh meat". They will stalk the personals and attack anything that even appears to breathe. Go in there. Read some one day, and laugh at how often you see the same guys post in every thread.

You will also find many women who will talk about how annoying it is because if they post anything sexual, it brings obnoxious PMs. So many women either tame down what they post, turn off their PMs, or just start telling the Pervs to fuck off.

I think most women came into the forums assuming (hoping) they'd be able to let their inner slut out. Talk about sex openly etc. But quickly learned that they cannot. Without the added unwanted attention.

The guys get bored, and move onto the next ... Fresh meat. That is unfortunately why you have to be careful about openly talking about your willingness to "E-bone"
Tom, Joe, and Mike all just saw you say that, and suddenly, you are their new best friend. Until they need something different.

 

[SassySheDevil]

I am going to say something because it is really bugging me. It might not make me very popular but my Lit way is to be honest.

I feel the guys get a bit of a rough deal sometimes. They get slated for the PMs they send, then again for how they treat women. I am surprised that some of them even bother talking to the women sometimes.

On the subject of feeling used, this is a two way street. If I sat here tonight and thought I want some “fun”, I know which guys I could message for that. I would totally be using that guy for that purpose. I know which guys would be ok with that. If a woman regularly posts that she is here for the fun and has multiple play partners, why is a guy messaging her just for fun so wrong.

Bambi I have always liked that you have been open about what you want but you now seem to be contradicting this. It is totally acceptable for you to change what you want but don’t blame the guys for using you if they don’t know what your expectations are.

No. I agree with this. (all of it)

I hear men talk about some of the shit they get too. Men just don't call out the women like women do. Again. Not wanting to use "ALL" 9 times out of 10. Men will say they like being used, or they want the attention, or they don't mind. etc. But you are right. This is not just a Man thing. Women do this too. Women just talk more.

 

[Daisy_Love]

I'm nosey about how long it took people to move from Stage 1 of Lit (like a fat kid in a candy store) to Stage 2 of Lit (slightly jaded and not as willing to entertain new messages). For me, I think I'm started to feel used in certain cases, so I need to shut down that crap.

I started at Stage 2 I think I wouldn’t say I’m jaded, I think I’m just a fussy biatch over who I talk to! Some may call it selective. I like chatting and being friendly but if all I see is thirsty posts then I know there’s zero point in me responding because that’s not what I want or need.

I love interacting with people, meeting people I would otherwise never cross paths with. I’ve made some amazing friends here and I always want it to be fun. If I see bickering, animosity etc I try to ignore it and and try to bring some fun and positivity. Lit for me is supposed to be fun and if it’s not the I log off.

You’re not an oddity Amber, I rarely get those kind of messages either, at least not off the bat. I did get one where he asked if I ‘liked it up the arse’ he wasn’t so happy when I posed the question back to him

 

[Ratchetman1982]

I think you will find many conversations with women about this subject.

MANY, NOT ALL guys like the whole flavor of the week. ( I cannot speak to women because women don't hit on me or send me flirty messages wanting to fuck my brains out)
Many guys will wander the boards looking for "Fresh meat". They will stalk the personals and attack anything that even appears to breathe. Go in there. Read some one day, and laugh at how often you see the same guys post in every thread.

You will also find many women who will talk about how annoying it is because if they post anything sexual, it brings obnoxious PMs. So many women either tame down what they post, turn off their PMs, or just start telling the Pervs to fuck off.

I think most women came into the forums assuming (hoping) they'd be able to let their inner slut out. Talk about sex openly etc. But quickly learned that they cannot. Without the added unwanted attention.

The guys get bored, and move onto the next ... Fresh meat. That is unfortunately why you have to be careful about openly talking about your willingness to "E-bone"
Tom, Joe, and Mike all just saw you say that, and suddenly, you are their new best friend. Until they need something different.

I never understood the "flavor of the week" mentality. If you enjoy conversing with someone, why move on to someone else? It's fine, at least in my opinion, to talk to a few people at once. As long as there is no formal agreement. Talking to people and getting to know them is a lot of fun.

Do you think the Listers that move on quickly do not give all of themselves in their conversations? Are they holding back from forming a true connection? That could be a reason why they bail.

 

[SassySheDevil]

Oh, I don't get messages like that either & I don't think I ever really have. I get the basic hi how are you ones, but rarely if ever explicit ones (at least from people I don't know )

This might have to do with what you post publicly.

When my messages are on. I don't get those kind of messages if I'm just bantering with people, being playful etc.

If I post pictures, or audio, or something pretty sexual. That changes. If I post in the threads that ask "Did you masturbate today", or "what kind of sex do you like"

I will often get "Want help with another one?", "I could fuck you like that, and more"

So the more sexual it gets, the worse the PMs often get.

 

[cheekygirl75]

This might have to do with what you post publicly.

When my messages are on. I don't get those kind of messages if I'm just bantering with people, being playful etc.

If I post pictures, or audio, or something pretty sexual. That changes. If I post in the threads that ask "Did you masturbate today", or "what kind of sex do you like"

I will often get "Want help with another one?", "I could fuck you like that, and more"

So the more sexual it gets, the worse the PMs often get.

That makes sense.. I mean, I think I've posted some pretty sexual things. But I also post a lot of playful things or even in depth things which maybe balances it out.

Either way, I don't mind not having to deal with them!

 

[SassySheDevil]

I never understood the "flavor of the week" mentality. If you enjoy conversing with someone, why move on to someone else? It's fine, at least in my opinion, to talk to a few people at once. As long as there is no formal agreement. Talking to people and getting to know them is a lot of fun.

Do you think the Listers that move on quickly do not give all of themselves in their conversations? Are they holding back from forming a true connection? That could be a reason why they bail.

I think it could be all of those.

Everyone comes here for different reasons. I remember a question PMann asked a while back about what brought people to lit and he said "Do not say the stories, cause that's bullshit" When almost everyone said that. He didn't buy it. But the truth is. Everyone did come for different reasons.
Many treat lit like a hook up site. Like a dating site. So they get upset when women often come here and discover they like the community feel. A place to chat, let their inner slut out in whatever way that means to them.
So because so many think of this as a dating/hook up site. They get upset when they PM women with their dick out, and she says that's not what she's looking for. "Then why are you here" <---has always been the reply I got most.

Many don't come here for the connections though. They like to stay private and Lit is just an outlet. Which is fine. They just want the interactions and banter, but to keep their person life separate. I never came here thinking I'd make real friends. I never came here thinking I'd meet some of these wonderful pervs. But I have.

 

[SassySheDevil]

Look, I apologized for that. And also yes I do. ❤

(Jk it totally wasn't really me)

But let it be known. NRJ likes it up the butt

 

[ydahecnot]

I think it could be all of those.

Everyone comes here for different reasons. I remember a question PMann asked a while back about what brought people to lit and he said "Do not say the stories, cause that's bullshit" When almost everyone said that. He didn't buy it. But the truth is. Everyone did come for different reasons.
Many treat lit like a hook up site. Like a dating site. So they get upset when women often come here and discover they like the community feel. A place to chat, let their inner slut out in whatever way that means to them.
So because so many think of this as a dating/hook up site. They get upset when they PM women with their dick out, and she says that's not what she's looking for. "Then why are you here" <---has always been the reply I got most.

Many don't come here for the connections though. They like to stay private and Lit is just an outlet. Which is fine. They just want the interactions and banter, but to keep their person life separate. I never came here thinking I'd make real friends. I never came here thinking I'd meet some of these wonderful pervs. But I have.

I did initially come (sp?) for the stories, and if Pmann ever comes back, I will tell him just that. On the dating site thing, would guys in real life who were sincerely wanting a date via Match or even Tinder lead with their dicks? Doubtful. Internet creeps gonna creep

 

[AlexBailey]

I'm nosey about how long it took people to move from Stage 1 of Lit (like a fat kid in a candy store) to Stage 2 of Lit (slightly jaded and not as willing to entertain new messages). For me, I think I'm started to feel used in certain cases, so I need to shut down that crap.

I've been here for a couple of years now and I'm still the weird kid in the candy store. I put myself out there a lot and often feel ignored and sidelined - I'm used to that IRL, but there usually turns out to be a few friendly faces who see beyond the weird who are open and curious enough to find out what I have to offer.


Most of the MPs I get are from those who share my gender identity, those who share some of my fetishes, or who like some of my perspectives. Then I get a few who are obviously horny as hell - looking for something from the 'specials' menu.

I love sharing and talking about sex, gender, and fetishes, and I admit that I get a thrill from the lascivious nature of some of the messages I get, but when they go over the top I usually don't respond. I don't feel obligated to be a masturbation aid to someone I haven't connected with, but I try to take it with a grain of salt. This is Literotica. It's being put out there as an erotic playground. Expecting people not to act out here sexually is like laying out by the pool and getting mad when the fat awkward kid splashes you with a cannonball.

As long as they aren't in my face and refuse to take a hint, I just smile and go looking for others to hang out with. Using the ignore function is always available - I used it once. You never know who will come by next and strike up a conversation, there is a lot of good company to hang out with. Just because someone hits on me doesn't mean I need to take them 'back to my room'.

I've been to resorts where people wore different necklaces depending on the level of interaction they were open to. The spectrum of colors went from 'silence and no interaction unless absolutely necessary' to 'anything goes'. Maybe it could be handy to have some sort of recognized Lit badge that you can put in your signature that tells people how open you are to certain kinds of communication.

 

[HotChef1970]

I haven't changed what I want because I always want to be treated like a human being.

I’d say that’s a given and that is the least that anyone could expect, if you reply to anyone who talks to you any differently or wants to send abuse and harass you then surely if you don’t just ignore them or tell them straight then you are making a mistake by encouraging this.

Don’t think that women are exclusive to getting crude and unsolicited messages from either the same or the opposite sex, I’ve had both in my time here and 1 guy who kept messaging me despite being given no indication anywhere that I was into guys in any way just kept on so the ignore button got used.

I’ve had very unsolicited pms from someone here with a selection of pictures that were how can we put it, close up! Now if you want to talk about every guy thinking that women are here so they must want unsolicited dick pics etc then you are mistaken if you think that women don’t do the same and I have someone who can verify what I’m talking about but my first thoughts to the messages I got was “I’m not your gynaecologist”

Please don’t tar every guy with the same brush, we don’t all send unsolicited pms with 1 intention

 

[Chillygirl]

So many thoughts on this…quick bullet points…
Why are women so quick to slut shame other women? I’m totally guilty of this too.
Why do guys assume a woman talking about sex is ready to fuck everyone?
Why can’t this just be fun?

I need more coffee…

 

[Deleted member 5521640]

I did initially come (sp?) for the stories, and if Pmann ever comes back, I will tell him just that. On the dating site thing, would guys in real life who were sincerely wanting a date via Match or even Tinder lead with their dicks? Doubtful. Internet creeps gonna creep

I did the same. I was searching for erotic poetry and that's how I came across Lit. The stories were an added bonus. It wasn't until a couple of months later that I even noticed there was a forum. Even then, I thought it was exclusive to writers and the stories/poetry they wrote, and focusing on discussing them. Imagine my surprise when I found that was just a small segment of the forum, and there was a little bit of everything.

Like Sassy said, we're all here for different reasons.