Female-Led Relationships

[Tjeik]

Life in a Female Led Community in Denmark

What did we boys think about living in a Female Led Community?

Well, in a good, well functioning family a child is brought up to honer and respect the values of her or his family. And that what we as children from early on are familiar with, and told to believe in, mostly seems quite natural to us. We boys and the males who lived with the women in our community always had to do the hardest work, because we were stronger than the girls. Therefore we had to be naked in the summertime, because hard work produces a lot of sweat. That was our moms rational explanation, which I believe to be true. And put to work we certainly were, because our moms were not rich, and they had self sufficiency as their ideal, opponents of the patriarchal capitalist system as they all were. Of cause the girls also worked. I think they worked almost as much as we boys, but their duties were centered at the home: They did most of the domestic work, they cooked, our moms taught them how to make clothes, and they were tending the gardens, while we boys and the men worked in the orchards and in the fields, which the women owned in common, because this work was considered to demand more muscle strength than work in a house garden. It was also customary in our community that when the eldest girl in a family reached the age of 13 or 14 years, then her mom would give her authority over her brothers, if she had any, regardless if they may be older than her. Because, as was said, even a young teenage girl is much more mature than a boy of even 18 or 19 years. Then the sister acted as her mothers substitute, who had to delegate work to her brothers, supervise their work, and if necessary punish them in the same way that she had seen her mom do. It was a privilege for the girl, of which she naturally was very proud, but it was also a responsibility.

As I wrote in my previous post, girls are not wicked or evil. The girls knew that they were superior to us boys, so why should they need further confirmation of this fact by teasing or humiliating us? Most of us boys were kind of embarrassed the first one or two weeks of our "naked time", but after that we more or less got used to it. And remember: The grown up men were naked too. And our long hair and sun tanned skin made us look like indians, a fact I was pleased with. I remember for instance how Larissa, a girl a year younger than I, one year on a day in the beginning of summer with a kind smile told me, that we boys were handsome both with and without clothes. I am sure that she said it because she sensed my embarrassment of being naked beside her as she stood there in her beautiful skirt.

Of course some of the girls would tease us. It just not happened very often. But occasionally some of the younger girls would try to tickle us around the navel or under our armpits to make us laugh, or even better - for them, not for us - to provoke our penis to stiffen in our briefs, which resulted in a excessive giggling among the girls when they saw the bulge in our briefs, which was an embarrassing experience for the boy (I was also subjected to this treatment at the hands of a couple of young girls a few times), while the girl, who had made it happen, proudly and gleefully received applause from her girlfriends. But the girls did very seldom try to pull our briefs down, and only one girl, whose name was Hanne, was known and feared by us boys as a girl who would kick boys in the balls, but even she only did it when she had a fight with a boy. (With she often had, because she was a tough rowdy and bullying girl).

As a teenage boy I only once was sexually assaulted by a girl. It was by Hanne. It was an unpleasant experience, but I don't think Hanne was a mean girl. She just was badly brought up.

 

[Justplatonic]

Thanks for your posts Tjeik... A very different perspective on FLRs, and very interesting how there are parallels between your Danish upbringing, and what is deemed as a proper FLR/and/or Female Supremacy by today's standards...

I'm sorry to read about your awful experience, and it's very magnanimous of you to forgive... Some people simply don't understand or appreciate a man can be sexually assaulted too...

 

[eroticspank]

Thanks for your posts Tjeik... A very different perspective on FLRs, and very interesting how there are parallels between your Danish upbringing, and what is deemed as a proper FLR/and/or Female Supremacy by today's standards...

I'm sorry to read about your awful experience, and it's very magnanimous of you to forgive... Some people simply don't understand or appreciate a man can be sexually assaulted too...

I have had a bad experience with an older woman too when I was young and vulnerable. It just confirms the fact that there are people in all walks of life that are bad. We just hope those bad apples don't make the rest of the group look bad.

ES

 

[Tjeik]

Life in a Female Led Community in Denmark

Dear Justplatonic

You say that I have a very different perspective of Female Led Relationships. But I think it may be of some interest for the readers to learn about how I as a boy grew up in a Female Led Community, where all the women and girls were strong believers in the natural superiority of females. And that to such a degree, that our mothers literally tried to create a kind of matriarchal society, which might seem odd today, but not in Denmark in the 1970s, where many young peoples wanted to change the society and were experimenting with new types of family structures, new forms of spirituality, new definitions of gender roles and so on.

Before I tell more, I would like to emphasize, that I had a very good childhood, and I certainly don't write this in order to complain about anything.
For centuries girls and boys have been brought up to believe, that boys somehow should be better or more worth than girls (and so it unfortunately still is in most parts of the world). I am glad, that I was taught to respect girls and women, and even if we were told that the girls were mentally and intellectually superior to us boys, out mothers loved us boys every bit as much as they loved their daughters.

For better understanding I have to tell something about those times in Denmark:

Back in the 1970s there were quite a lot of far left organizations in Denmark, all belonging to what was then termed "The New Left".

As I have told, my mother belonged to THE RED STOCKING MOVEMENT (DENMARK), which was a radical feminist movement of mostly well educated young women, split in several fractions. As the years passed by, and the expected socialist revolution did not take place, some of those feminist, including my mother and the other women in our small community, absorbed themselves in the ideas of the existence of prehistorical Matriarchies and Goddess worship, which in those years were very popular among radical feminist, because these theories seemed to confirm their notions of female superiority and proved that women unjustly were deprived of their age old traditional leading role in religion and society when the patriarchy was established. And if the surrounding society did not change in the way you wanted, many leftist tried to create their own mini societies in collectives, or in communities like THYLEJREN or FREETOWN CHRISTIANIA. (Words written in capital letters can be found in the English Wikipedia).

My mother and her female friends all had a higher education - many of them, including my mother, were academics - but their highest wish was to create a female orientated, egalitarian society.

In the year 1970, when I was 8 years old, and my sister Ida was 5 years old (in that same year Thylejren was founded) they therefore created their own community, in which, as I already have described in a previous post, all property were owned by the women in common. Originally there were about 12-15 women; but later on many more women moved in with their children and male lovers. We really were a lot of children, because not only had most of those women had intercourse with many lovers and therefore children with them, but it was also seen as something great among them to have many children. Motherhood was considered as something almost sacred, because the ability to create new life most clearly distinguished the women as the superior sex. My mother had only Ida and me, but most women had three or four children. One mother had five children, and the woman in our community with most children had seven girls and boys, which was quite unusual in Denmark at that time. So there were plenty of children in our community, even if it was small.

New arrived women in our community were required to pay a certain amount of money, but then they also owned the fields, gardens, orchards and houses on equal terms with the other women. The egalitarian principles were so important to the founders of our small community, that they could not step back on it. That the men were excluded from ownership, did not seem to bother those strong minded women: After all, this was a female founded and female led community, and their men and lovers were free to leave, when ever they wanted to. In this regard there was no compulsory exercised by the women over their men whatsoever. And without having part in the ownership of the property, the men had considerably less responsibility than the women, and even than their teenage daughters, who were seen as the heiresses. This gave, I thought back then, the men a more carefree life. And as I said: If they did not want to be there, the men were always free to leave. And if the women got tiered of their lovers, they just told them to leave.



Both girls and us boys in our community felt our way of life as quite normal and natural, and we boys also accepted the idea of the girls being superior to us as an undeniable truth, even if it was a bit humiliating for us, because that was what our mothers and sisters had told us. But at the same time we of cause were well aware, that our way of life was not the way of life of most of the people in our country. I think you could compare our situation to what children of small religious sects, e.g. Jehovas Witnesses, are experiencing.

In the nearby village, where all we children went to school, the inhabitants in our community were called "de skøre" (in English: The lunatics). At first the village people shunned all contact with us, and their children were even forbidden to play with us. So it was for several years, but at the time that I was 13-14 years old, the attitude of the villagers had markedly changed: Although we in their opinion still were kind of weird, the people in the village had noticed, that we always worked very hard, and hard working people was something these village people really respected. We also were very frugal (as opponents of the capitalist consumer society, frugality was an ideal for our mothers), and this also won us the respect of the villagers. And we were honest, because our mothers hated children who told lies. This also was noticed and appreciated by the villagers, adults and children alike. Another important thing was, that the villagers noticed, that we boys always were well behaved towards the girls in the village (this came natural to us, as we from early on had been taught to respect girls of all ages), and we never provoked the village boys into fights and so on. Therefore the children from the village at long last were allowed to visit us, which they then did all the year around, not only in the summer time, where the village girls clearly enjoyed seeing a lot of almost naked boys. Close friendships between many of us and them were made, and if the boys of the village had quarrels with boys from other villages in the neighbourhood, they could always count on us to come and help them, because we had a reputation of being really strong, a side effect of our hard work.

Regarding the nudity of boys and males in our community I again want to emphasize, that it was only in the hot summer time, that the women ordered us to be almost naked (except for briefs and shorts, as already told). All the rest of the year we wore normal clothes for the season, outdoors and also indoors. At home we were not ordered to take of our briefs. Except when we were going to bed. Then the boys and men in all our households were required to sleep completely naked, while girls and women wore night gowns. But again: I think it is very normal in many cultures for boys and men to sleep naked. And in our little community I am sure the women introduced this rule in order to have easy access to their lovers genitals during the night if they wanted to. And I do not think that their men and lovers was very much against it. As a matter of fact, during sexual intercourse the woman always sat on top of the man, riding his erect male member, so to speak. The same did their daughters when they were sexually enjoying their boyfriends. This obviously was a demonstration of their female superiority, but it was not the only reason, and I think perhaps not the most important reason:

The women wanted to control the sexual act, not in order to humiliate the man, but in order to assure, that he did not ejaculate inside the woman without her consent, because of the risk of pregnancy. Therefore our mothers told us teenage boys, always to warn a girl who had sexual intercourse with us in good time before we felt the urge to ejaculate, so that she in time could get our male member soft by squeezing our testicles or pinch our hard penis. The girl would then tickle her boyfriend's penis to get it erect again, and so it could go on for a while. Of course it was a bit painful for us, but the girls were never mean or evil. They did it for practical reasons, and when a girl had reached her climax, and was satisfied, she always masturbated her boyfriend until he ejaculated, thus rewarding him. I always was treated like this by my girlfriends, and despite my aching testicles it was worth it. So it was among us. For although the birth control pill was invented, not all women and girls in our community wanted to take it, suspicious of the products of the capitalist society as they were. (It later became known, that the birth control pill in rare cases can cause serious illness).

 

[Justplatonic]

I have had a bad experience with an older woman too when I was young and vulnerable. It just confirms the fact that there are people in all walks of life that are bad. We just hope those bad apples don't make the rest of the group look bad.

ES

eroticspank... I'm sorry to that about you too...

 

[littlecordelera]

...if Jason said he wanted to be considered as an equal partner in our marriage, I would not be OK with that.

Tjeik, I think your mom and I would get along quite well.

 

[Justplatonic]

Dear Justplatonic

You say that I have a very different perspective of Female Led Relationships. But I think it may be of some interest for the readers to learn about how I as a boy grew up in a Female Led Community, where all the women and girls were strong believers in the natural superiority of females. And that to such a degree, that our mothers literally tried to create a kind of matriarchal society, which might seem odd today, but not in Denmark in the 1970s, where many young peoples wanted to change the society and were experimenting with new types of family structures, new forms of spirituality, new definitions of gender roles and so on.

Before I tell more, I would like to emphasize, that I had a very good childhood, and I certainly don't write this in order to complain about anything.
For centuries girls and boys have been brought up to believe, that boys somehow should be better or more worth than girls (and so it unfortunately still is in most parts of the world). I am glad, that I was taught to respect girls and women, and even if we were told that the girls were mentally and intellectually superior to us boys, out mothers loved us boys every bit as much as they loved their daughters.

For better understanding I have to tell something about those times in Denmark:

Back in the 1970s there were quite a lot of far left organizations in Denmark, all belonging to what was then termed "The New Left".

As I have told, my mother belonged to THE RED STOCKING MOVEMENT (DENMARK), which was a radical feminist movement of mostly well educated young women, split in several fractions. As the years passed by, and the expected socialist revolution did not take place, some of those feminist, including my mother and the other women in our small community, absorbed themselves in the ideas of the existence of prehistorical Matriarchies and Goddess worship, which in those years were very popular among radical feminist, because these theories seemed to confirm their notions of female superiority and proved that women unjustly were deprived of their age old traditional leading role in religion and society when the patriarchy was established. And if the surrounding society did not change in the way you wanted, many leftist tried to create their own mini societies in collectives, or in communities like THYLEJREN or FREETOWN CHRISTIANIA. (Words written in capital letters can be found in the English Wikipedia).

My mother and her female friends all had a higher education - many of them, including my mother, were academics - but their highest wish was to create a female orientated, egalitarian society.

In the year 1970, when I was 8 years old, and my sister Ida was 5 years old (in that same year Thylejren was founded) they therefore created their own community, in which, as I already have described in a previous post, all property were owned by the women in common. Originally there were about 12-15 women; but later on many more women moved in with their children and male lovers. We really were a lot of children, because not only had most of those women had intercourse with many lovers and therefore children with them, but it was also seen as something great among them to have many children. Motherhood was considered as something almost sacred, because the ability to create new life most clearly distinguished the women as the superior sex. My mother had only Ida and me, but most women had three or four children. One mother had five children, and the woman in our community with most children had seven girls and boys, which was quite unusual in Denmark at that time. So there were plenty of children in our community, even if it was small.

New arrived women in our community were required to pay a certain amount of money, but then they also owned the fields, gardens, orchards and houses on equal terms with the other women. The egalitarian principles were so important to the founders of our small community, that they could not step back on it. That the men were excluded from ownership, did not seem to bother those strong minded women: After all, this was a female founded and female led community, and their men and lovers were free to leave, when ever they wanted to. In this regard there was no compulsory exercised by the women over their men whatsoever. And without having part in the ownership of the property, the men had considerably less responsibility than the women, and even than their teenage daughters, who were seen as the heiresses. This gave, I thought back then, the men a more carefree life. And as I said: If they did not want to be there, the men were always free to leave. And if the women got tiered of their lovers, they just told them to leave.



Both girls and us boys in our community felt our way of life as quite normal and natural, and we boys also accepted the idea of the girls being superior to us as an undeniable truth, even if it was a bit humiliating for us, because that was what our mothers and sisters had told us. But at the same time we of cause were well aware, that our way of life was not the way of life of most of the people in our country. I think you could compare our situation to what children of small religious sects, e.g. Jehovas Witnesses, are experiencing.

In the nearby village, where all we children went to school, the inhabitants in our community were called "de skøre" (in English: The lunatics). At first the village people shunned all contact with us, and their children were even forbidden to play with us. So it was for several years, but at the time that I was 13-14 years old, the attitude of the villagers had markedly changed: Although we in their opinion still were kind of weird, the people in the village had noticed, that we always worked very hard, and hard working people was something these village people really respected. We also were very frugal (as opponents of the capitalist consumer society, frugality was an ideal for our mothers), and this also won us the respect of the villagers. And we were honest, because our mothers hated children who told lies. This also was noticed and appreciated by the villagers, adults and children alike. Another important thing was, that the villagers noticed, that we boys always were well behaved towards the girls in the village (this came natural to us, as we from early on had been taught to respect girls of all ages), and we never provoked the village boys into fights and so on. Therefore the children from the village at long last were allowed to visit us, which they then did all the year around, not only in the summer time, where the village girls clearly enjoyed seeing a lot of almost naked boys. Close friendships between many of us and them were made, and if the boys of the village had quarrels with boys from other villages in the neighbourhood, they could always count on us to come and help them, because we had a reputation of being really strong, a side effect of our hard work.

Regarding the nudity of boys and males in our community I again want to emphasize, that it was only in the hot summer time, that the women ordered us to be almost naked (except for briefs and shorts, as already told). All the rest of the year we wore normal clothes for the season, outdoors and also indoors. At home we were not ordered to take of our briefs. Except when we were going to bed. Then the boys and men in all our households were required to sleep completely naked, while girls and women wore night gowns. But again: I think it is very normal in many cultures for boys and men to sleep naked. And in our little community I am sure the women introduced this rule in order to have easy access to their lovers genitals during the night if they wanted to. And I do not think that their men and lovers was very much against it. As a matter of fact, during sexual intercourse the woman always sat on top of the man, riding his erect male member, so to speak. The same did their daughters when they were sexually enjoying their boyfriends. This obviously was a demonstration of their female superiority, but it was not the only reason, and I think perhaps not the most important reason:

The women wanted to control the sexual act, not in order to humiliate the man, but in order to assure, that he did not ejaculate inside the woman without her consent, because of the risk of pregnancy. Therefore our mothers told us teenage boys, always to warn a girl who had sexual intercourse with us in good time before we felt the urge to ejaculate, so that she in time could get our male member soft by squeezing our testicles or pinch our hard penis. The girl would then tickle her boyfriend's penis to get it erect again, and so it could go on for a while. Of course it was a bit painful for us, but the girls were never mean or evil. They did it for practical reasons, and when a girl had reached her climax, and was satisfied, she always masturbated her boyfriend until he ejaculated, thus rewarding him. I always was treated like this by my girlfriends, and despite my aching testicles it was worth it. So it was among us. For although the birth control pill was invented, not all women and girls in our community wanted to take it, suspicious of the products of the capitalist society as they were. (It later became known, that the birth control pill in rare cases can cause serious illness).

Thanks again for your posts Tjeik... I admire your Mother and the other Women who formed your community... Who dared to be different, brave enough to follow their convictions, and strong enough to persevere... Qualities that I most admire to my very core, and what makes Women so special to me... It's my sincere belief Women like this are the Superior race among us, and should be revered by society... Instead they seem to be unsung Heroes...

Tjeik, I think your mom and I would get along quite well.

Similar to littlecordelera, I think it'd be an honour to meet your Mother...

 

[Tjeik]

Life in a Female Led Community in Denmark

As a man who grew up in a Female Led Community I from time to time have read about Female Led Family life on various Internet forums, driven by curiosity. But I soon found out, that many of the descriptions in some of these forums of Female Superiority and Female led Families don't match my own experiences, to put it mildly.

I have often read stories of wifes, who spank their men and sons on the slightest occasion. Or stories of moms and sisters, who on a weekly or even daily basis kick their sons or brothers in the testicles, and treat them in the most humiliating ways, bordering on torture. Of course much of all this may be imagination or exaggeration, but even if it is, it is not good, because women and girls do NOT deserve to be described as evil or wicked persons, who in some cases (if true) are almost monsters.

At least it is NOT my experience, that girls and women with power turn into bad human beings. And to stress this fact is my reason to write about my upbringing in a Female Led Community.

With that said, I think Littlecordelera is right when she says, that she and my mother would get along quite well. Almost exactly as Littlecordelera says, my mother also often told my sister Ida and me, that there never could be equality between women and men - or between sisters and brothers - because all females were superior to men.

Our mother, my dear little sister Ida and I all slept in the same room (our house was not a big house): Ida and I slept in an old, large double bed, while mother slept in a single bed which stood opposite to our bed. I always slept naked, while Ida and mom wore their night gown. As I grew older and became a teenager, my mother more often than before taught Ida and me about the fact of female superiority, always ending with emphasizing, that although Ida was three years younger than me, she all the same was vastly superior to me. Well, although I accepted what our mom told us, the suggestion that my little sister should be not only superior, but vastly superior to me, always embarrassed me, and made me blush. I often tried to argue, that considering the age difference between us, Ida and I were equals. But our mom only smiled, and said, that "there is no such thing as equality between sisters and brothers". ("Der er aldrig lighed mellem søstre og brødre", as she said in Danish). So it was for a while, until on day in the summer holidays, when I was 14, and Ida was 11 years old.

A group of German feminist were then visiting us, and they were not only feminist, but also, as it turned out, strong believers in the existence of ancient and contemporary Matriarchies, and ardent supporters of Goddess worship. In fact the visit of these German women started what I would call the Matriarchal and Goddess Worship fascination among the women of our community.

One early evening during this summer our mother came back home in a quite elated mood from a Woman Meeting, where the German women had told their Danish friends, how easy it was to demonstrate and prove, that any girl is superior to any boy. Our mom then ordered Ida and me to stand up, and face each other. This we did, and now our mom said, that we should look each other straight into the eyes. To lower one's eyes would be a clear sign of recognition of the other person's superiority. And mom added, that she was very sure that I would have to lower my eyes before Ida, thereby recognizing her as vastly superior to me. As mother had said, it turned out: As much as I tried not to, in the end I could not stand up to Ida gazing me right in my eyes, and I looked down, admitting her superiority, as mother triumphantly said. I thought it might just be a coincident, and at my insisting we tried the look in the eyes contest again and again and again and again, but Ida won every time. My growing humiliation was causing my penis to grow considerably in my briefs, and a big bulge was hastily forming. Ida giggled, and asked mom why my cock was getting stiff ("pik" is the danish slang word which Ida used), and mom replied that this was a sign from my body beyond my control, whereby I in fact admitted, that any girl was superior to me. I then gave up, admitted defeat, and felt utterly humiliated.

Now the whole point of my experience, and the reason why I am telling it here, is Ida's reaction, because it tells me something of girls, that do NOT correspond with most of what is written of girls in many of the forums dealing with the theme Female Superiority which I have read:

That night I felt very embarrassed as I lay together with my little sister, whom I always had loved, in our big double bed. My feeling of humiliation caused me to have a throbbing erection, which I only occasionally had in the mornings (which mother said was completely normal), and although we lay covered under a big blanket, Ida of course could not help noticing my erection, and she also guessed the cause. But she didn't tease me. Quite the contrary: She hugged me, and told me not to mind that she was superior to me, because I was still much stronger than her. Much stronger, as she emphasized. Her loving reaction made me realize, not only that Ida really WAS superior to me, but also and foremost, that this was nothing for me to be ashamed about. Next morning I told mom, that I didn't mind being inferior to Ida, because she would always be my dear little sister. Then mom hugged us both, and nothing more was spoken of this matter.

As to how boys and girls in our female led community were punished, I first have to say, that we boys were never spanked. Never ever. To spank a child was considered reactionary by all the women. Girls who misbehaved was reprimanded with stern words, and we boys were likewise scolded, but the scolding of a boy was always followed up with one or two slaps to his face. And it really hurt, when I was receiving a face slapping from my mother. If my sister was present when my mom was punishing me, and it was in the summer time, where I only wore my briefs, as a teenage boy my embarrassment often caused me an erection, which always made my sister giggle, although she tried not to. My mother would then pull my briefs down, and squeeze my testicles, which was very painful. My penis instantly went soft, and then I could pull my briefs up again. I never had corner time (we didn't know the concept), and when my punishment was over, it WAS over. Like all girls, my sister was never hit when she was scolded, but I think this double standard was fair, because my sister was always very sad long after mother had reprimanded her, although I always tried to cheer her up the best I could. Her punishment obvious had a deeper effect on her, than the harsher punishment I was receiving had on me. I thought back then, that this difference had something to do with the superiority of the girls. They felt everything on a much deeper level as did we boys.

Last but not least I will point to something of great importance, and that is what my mother and the other women meant when they said, that girls like my sister Ida were vastly superior to boys. As Ida was so nice to point out for me in her effort to comfort me, I of course was stronger than her, but even young girls in their teen or even preteen years were considered more mature than boys, and therefore mentally and intellectually superior. That was what these feminist women meant when they said, that girls were vastly superior to boys.

You do not need to be a feminist to agree with that, I believe.

But my mother and her female friends also believed, that a girl always should be morally superior to a boy, which meant, that a truly superior girl never ought to use her mental and intellectual superiority to harm or humiliate a boy. Exactly as we boys were strictly forbidden to hit a girl, or in any way use our greater strength to harm them in any way.

As my mother always said, with superiority follows responsibility.

 

[Tjeik]

Life in a Female Led Community in Denmark

I want to tell a bit more about Hanne, who was a girl of my own age, and her quite extraordinary family, which was one of the founding families of our community. Or perhaps I should better say, that Hanne's and her brothers mother, whose name was Clara, was among the original founders of the community, because as I have told in previous post all property was owned by the women in common.

Hanne had two brothers: Martin, who was one year older than Hanne and me, and Peter, who was about two years younger than Hanne.

Hannes mother Clara was one of the few feminist women of our community, who lived with the same male partner throughout the years. His name was Morten, and although they were not married (our feminist mothers considered marriage to be a patriarchal institution), I believe that Morten was the father of all of the children. But I am not sure.

What made Hanne's family special, even in our Female Led Community, was the parents very unjust treatment of their children.

Hanne was a tall and strong girl. She clearly was what in English is called a tomboy, and she always bullied her brothers around: She made them do most of her tasks in the house and in the garden, which meant, that in addition to their own work duties and their schoolwork Martin and Peter rarely had some spare time. And if they didn't do what she ordered them to do, she slapped them in the face, or even kicked them in their testicles.

Naturally the parents knew all this - we all did - but they did not interfere. Which of cause was contrary to our common ideal, that although girls were considered to be superior to boys, they should not misuse their superiority in any way, and they of course were expected to work as we boys were, and not let their brothers do their work for them.

This was bad enough, but it was not the worst thing for the boys in that family:

What Hanne's brothers resented the most, was the sad fact, that every time at Christmas or at birthdays Hanne was given expensive gifts by the parents, whereas her brothers only got some plates of chocolate, some cakes and things like that. This unfair treatment of her brothers I already then found outrageous, and so did my mom. Although my sister Ida was superior to me, our mom loved me every bit as much as she loved Ida. Ida never let me do her work, and at Christmas and at our birthdays we both became gifts of equal value. And so it was in all the other households of our community, as far as I know. I really could not understand, why Morten, the children's father, did not protest. But he never did. Perhaps he didn't dare, but I am more inclined to believe that he thought that it was right to let Hanna be the princess of the house, with no restrictions or duties what so ever.

As Hanne was the princess in her own home, she was the queen among the girls. She almost always was surrounded by an entourage of younger girls, who admired her.

She often sought to put up a fight with us boys. But only with boys of her own age or older. This she did to impress her admires among the girls, I think.

She often picked on me to provoke me into a fight, which was very annoying because of her bad habit of kicking boys in the testicles. But we boys, who risked to be attacked by Hanne, was prepared for this, so she seldom managed to hit her target. Although we boys normally were strictly forbidden to hit a girl, of cause we defended ourself if attacked by a girl like Hanne, and none of our moms objected to that. Although Hanne was very strong for a girl of her age when she was 14-15 years old, I always managed to beat her or to chase her away. I remember one winter day, where Hanne and her girlfriends attacked my friend Knud and me with snowballs. Knud said, that we better should go away, because he was afraid of Hanne, but I took up the fight, and finally it was Hanne who left. But this only provoked Hanne to act ever more challenging towards me, and on a hot summer day the next year my luck was out.

I think I have to tell what happened, even if it was humiliating for me, because I think it tells something about Hanne's character. It as always was she who started the fight by provoking me and trying to make me ridiculous before her female friends, but as I was about to get a hold on her and bring her down, she managed to grip me by my long hair and pull my head backwards, and she swiftly used my moment of distraction to grip me by my testicles and squeeze them with full force. I of cause moaned and bent over. Immediately she pushed me to the ground, and the next moment she was straddling my chest, pinning my arms down. While her girlfriends shouted with joy, she began tickling me around my belly bottom, which made me laugh, despite the pain in my testicles. It was one of the worst days in my life, as I lay naked and defeated beneath Hanne, yet laughing because she made me to. And I was sure, that she would now pull my briefs down as her ultimate humiliation of me. (Of cause I had no erection. You don't have an erection with painful testicles). But Hanne did no such thing. Instead she asked me, if I would surrender, and when I said yes, she immediately got of me and rose, and she even shooked my hand and said, that it had been a god fight. This told me, that Hanne's wish was not so much to humiliate me, but rather to show her girlfriends how brave and strong she was. And now, when Hanne at long last had defeated me (although only once), she never tried to provoke me again. Now she seemed to respect me, and I also began reluctantly to respect her. When we played "nybyggere og indianere" (white settlers and indians), Hanne and me and some of the other boys of our age would meet beforehand to determine the rules of the game, where and when it should take place and so on.
(We boys with our long hair and sun tanned bodies of course always were the indians, and the girls were the white settlers).

But as the years passed by, and Hanne became a young woman, things went very bad for her.

It is a very sad story. Her eldest brother Martin had already moved to Copenhagen to escape his sister's bullying when he was just 17 years old, and there he had got a job as an apprentice, while he lived by some friends of his in the city. Many years later I by chance meet Martin, and he told me, that Hanne later on also had moved to Copenhagen. She didn't have a husband, although she had had many boyfriend. But they all left her after a short while, because they could not put up with a young woman, who because of her upbringing was so self centered as Hanne was. And because she was not used to work, but to have her brothers to work for her, Hanne could not hold on to a job, and so she was unemployed for long periods of time. She ended up as an alcoholic and a drug addict, Martin told.

Her brothers on the other hand did well in later life.

As I said, it is a very sad story, and I really feel bad for Hanne. I do not think that Hanne was a mean girl, her selfishness and her tough character were the results of a bad upbringing without limits for her.

Her fate therefore ought to be a warning to some of those who discuss Female Led Relationships on other Internet forums, who say that they raise their daughters in much the same way that Hanne was raised. (Although much of it may be lies or exaggerations).

By the way, Hanne was the only girl, who once did pull my briefs down: It was a month or so after she and I had had our last fight, and we were now on pretty good terms, as I have told. On a late afternoon when I was sitting in the backyard of our house and was working on something, Hanne came along and sat down besides me. We talked for a while, but suddenly she pushed me back, and then she pulled my briefs down without asking or saying anything. But Hanne always did what she wanted to do, and took what she wanted to take. She made me have an erection, and she forcefully pulled my foreskin back, which was very unpleasant for me. I didn't protest or try to defend myself out of fear that she would squeeze my testicles, which she hold in one of her hands. She let my testicles roll through her fingers, but she did not squeeze them. After a while she left me without saying a word. So perhaps she just did it out of curiosity. Or perhaps she did it in order to demonstrate her female superiority over me. Or a combination of both. But at least she was considerate enough to do it without any witnesses. But all the same it was an unpleasant experience for me, although it might be an exaggeration to say, that I was sexually assaulted by Hanne. (But I am not an English speaker). In the evening I found out, that my mom had seen it from our house. Hanne seems to like you, she said with a smile. But I answered, that Hanne was certainly not my girlfriend.

But the next year, when Hanne and me were 16 years old, we had became kind of friends.
Hanne was not my girlfriend in a sexual way. Actually I still never had had sexual intercourse with a girl, but that same summer Hanne would change that.
I was together with some of my boyfriends in our spare time on a hot summer day. We were sitting in the wood, talking, when Hanne came by and joined us. When the other boys left, Hanne and me remained seated and continued to talk with each other.
Then suddently Hanne, without asking me, pushed me on my back, pulled my briefs down and tickled my penis into an erection, which of cause did not take long for her.
She then lifted up in her long dress, pulled her panties down, and placed herself on my erected male member.
Her movements gave me an enjoyable feeling, and she clearly enjoyed it to. From time to time she squeezed my testicles and pinched my erected penis at its base to make me soft, in order to avoid me ejaculating inside her. I of cause warned her beforehand when I could feel that an ejaculation was nearing, like my mom had told me to do if I had sexual intercourse with a girl, so that she did not got pregnant. Then Hanne would tickle my penis into another erection, and so it went on, until Hanne was satisfied, and she got of me.
I of cause still had an erection, but Hanne now masturbated me into a very forceful ejaculation, so that I got semen all over by chest and stomach. I felt exhausted, but it was a very extraordinary and good feeling.
Hanne smiled, and gave me some leaves from the forest floor to dry myself up with.

After that I for several month was Hanne's boyfriend. During that time I more than once tried to persuade her to stop bullying her brothers around and treat them in a more fair way, but she wouldn't discuss that matter. Each time she gave me a stinging slap to my face and said, that "det rager ikke dig". ("It's not your business"). She eventually got tiered of me, and found another boyfriend - Hanne always got tiered of her boyfriends - but we still were friends.
Therefore I also feel so sad for what happened to her in her later life.

 

[Tjeik]

Are there somebody here who grew up in a Female Led Family and would like to tell about it?

 

[Justplatonic]

As a man who grew up in a Female Led Community I from time to time have read about Female Led Family life on various Internet forums, driven by curiosity. But I soon found out, that many of the descriptions in some of these forums of Female Superiority and Female led Families don't match my own experiences, to put it mildly.

I have often read stories of wifes, who spank their men and sons on the slightest occasion. Or stories of moms and sisters, who on a weekly or even daily basis kick their sons or brothers in the testicles, and treat them in the most humiliating ways, bordering on torture. Of course much of all this may be imagination or exaggeration, but even if it is, it is not good, because women and girls do NOT deserve to be described as evil or wicked persons, who in some cases (if true) are almost monsters.

At least it is NOT my experience, that girls and women with power turn into bad human beings. And to stress this fact is my reason to write about my upbringing in a Female Led Community.

With that said, I think Littlecordelera is right when she says, that she and my mother would get along quite well. Almost exactly as Littlecordelera says, my mother also often told my sister Ida and me, that there never could be equality between women and men - or between sisters and brothers - because all females were superior to men.

Our mother, my dear little sister Ida and I all slept in the same room (our house was not a big house): Ida and I slept in an old, large double bed, while mother slept in a single bed which stood opposite to our bed. I always slept naked, while Ida and mom wore their night gown. As I grew older and became a teenager, my mother more often than before taught Ida and me about the fact of female superiority, always ending with emphasizing, that although Ida was three years younger than me, she all the same was vastly superior to me. Well, although I accepted what our mom told us, the suggestion that my little sister should be not only superior, but vastly superior to me, always embarrassed me, and made me blush. I often tried to argue, that considering the age difference between us, Ida and I were equals. But our mom only smiled, and said, that "there is no such thing as equality between sisters and brothers". ("Der er aldrig lighed mellem søstre og brødre", as she said in Danish). So it was for a while, until on day in the summer holidays, when I was 14, and Ida was 11 years old.

A group of German feminist were then visiting us, and they were not only feminist, but also, as it turned out, strong believers in the existence of ancient and contemporary Matriarchies, and ardent supporters of Goddess worship. In fact the visit of these German women started what I would call the Matriarchal and Goddess Worship fascination among the women of our community.

One early evening during this summer our mother came back home in a quite elated mood from a Woman Meeting, where the German women had told their Danish friends, how easy it was to demonstrate and prove, that any girl is superior to any boy. Our mom then ordered Ida and me to stand up, and face each other. This we did, and now our mom said, that we should look each other straight into the eyes. To lower one's eyes would be a clear sign of recognition of the other person's superiority. And mom added, that she was very sure that I would have to lower my eyes before Ida, thereby recognizing her as vastly superior to me. As mother had said, it turned out: As much as I tried not to, in the end I could not stand up to Ida gazing me right in my eyes, and I looked down, admitting her superiority, as mother triumphantly said. I thought it might just be a coincident, and at my insisting we tried the look in the eyes contest again and again and again and again, but Ida won every time. My growing humiliation was causing my penis to grow considerably in my briefs, and a big bulge was hastily forming. Ida giggled, and asked mom why my cock was getting stiff ("pik" is the danish slang word which Ida used), and mom replied that this was a sign from my body beyond my control, whereby I in fact admitted, that any girl was superior to me. I then gave up, admitted defeat, and felt utterly humiliated.

Now the whole point of my experience, and the reason why I am telling it here, is Ida's reaction, because it tells me something of girls, that do NOT correspond with most of what is written of girls in many of the forums dealing with the theme Female Superiority which I have read:

That night I felt very embarrassed as I lay together with my little sister, whom I always had loved, in our big double bed. My feeling of humiliation caused me to have a throbbing erection, which I only occasionally had in the mornings (which mother said was completely normal), and although we lay covered under a big blanket, Ida of course could not help noticing my erection, and she also guessed the cause. But she didn't tease me. Quite the contrary: She hugged me, and told me not to mind that she was superior to me, because I was still much stronger than her. Much stronger, as she emphasized. Her loving reaction made me realize, not only that Ida really WAS superior to me, but also and foremost, that this was nothing for me to be ashamed about. Next morning I told mom, that I didn't mind being inferior to Ida, because she would always be my dear little sister. Then mom hugged us both, and nothing more was spoken of this matter.

As to how boys and girls in our female led community were punished, I first have to say, that we boys were never spanked. Never ever. To spank a child was considered reactionary by all the women. Girls who misbehaved was reprimanded with stern words, and we boys were likewise scolded, but the scolding of a boy was always followed up with one or two slaps to his face. And it really hurt, when I was receiving a face slapping from my mother. If my sister was present when my mom was punishing me, and it was in the summer time, where I only wore my briefs, as a teenage boy my embarrassment often caused me an erection, which always made my sister giggle, although she tried not to. My mother would then pull my briefs down, and squeeze my testicles, which was very painful. My penis instantly went soft, and then I could pull my briefs up again. I never had corner time (we didn't know the concept), and when my punishment was over, it WAS over. Like all girls, my sister was never hit when she was scolded, but I think this double standard was fair, because my sister was always very sad long after mother had reprimanded her, although I always tried to cheer her up the best I could. Her punishment obvious had a deeper effect on her, than the harsher punishment I was receiving had on me. I thought back then, that this difference had something to do with the superiority of the girls. They felt everything on a much deeper level as did we boys.

Last but not least I will point to something of great importance, and that is what my mother and the other women meant when they said, that girls like my sister Ida were vastly superior to boys. As Ida was so nice to point out for me in her effort to comfort me, I of course was stronger than her, but even young girls in their teen or even preteen years were considered more mature than boys, and therefore mentally and intellectually superior. That was what these feminist women meant when they said, that girls were vastly superior to boys.

You do not need to be a feminist to agree with that, I believe.

But my mother and her female friends also believed, that a girl always should be morally superior to a boy, which meant, that a truly superior girl never ought to use her mental and intellectual superiority to harm or humiliate a boy. Exactly as we boys were strictly forbidden to hit a girl, or in any way use our greater strength to harm them in any way.

As my mother always said, with superiority follows responsibility.

Sage words Tjeik... You must understand outside of your community, society is significantly different, the very society your Mother and friends sought refuge from... Sure, there have been a few changes here and there, but it remains mostly the same IMHO.

I can appreciate in your community where those idealisms are perpetuated over the generations, it will propagate a culture driven by them. A self fulfilling prophecy. It's not a criticism... I'm saying in that scenario, there will naturally be a vastly higher yield of Supreme Females.

Outside of your community, the ruling class is male (and all that is derived from it). Hence the yield of Supreme Females is unfortunately, significantly reduced. I can appreciate this in itself is sociological argument i.e. is a Supreme Female born, or is she nurtured...

There are Women who have their own approach to FLR... However there still remains parallels (even though the methodology is different) to their approach and your community's. It's in these relationships a version of Female Supremacy 'works'.

So (considering all of the above) I hate to admit it, but I don't believe the average man would concede Females were vastly superior to males, with all due respect...

 

[Tjeik]

Life in a Female Led Community in Denmark

Dear Justplatonic

"I can appreciate in your community where those idealisms are perpetuated over the generations, it will propagate a culture driven by them. A self fulfilling prophecy. It's not a criticism... I'm saying in that scenario, there will naturally be a vastly higher yield of Supreme Females."

I agree totally with what you are saying. It is a very precise description of the Female Led Community in which I grew up, I must say.

As I saw it back then, perhaps the best proof of any girls superiority over any boy was the look each other straight in the eye contest, which I have described in an earlier post, because it always ended with the boy inevitable had to lower his eyes before the girl, even if he might be much older than her, thereby recognizing her superiority. This method became very popular among our girls after the visit of the German feminists, of which I told in an earlier post.

We boys hated this contest, and the power it revealed that the girls had over our minds and bodies. Especially in the summer times, when we only wore our briefs, the starring eyes of a girl confronting us face to face often caused us an unwanted erection, thus proving that she controlled us.

It was a very strange feeling for me as a 16-17 years old teenage boy, that even a 12-13 year old girl could so easily control my bodily reactions.

Especially the more mature of the teenager girls preferred to prove their dominance in this way, because this was a pure mental contest, in which the stronger willed person would win. And the girls always won the eye to eye contest, which often caused the loosing boy to have a involuntary erection, clearly visible as a growing bulge in his briefs. I can of my own experience tell, that this was a great embarrassment for us boys, because we obviously for all to see not only lost the control over our own body, but the control over our mind and body went to the girl, who made us to have the unwanted erection. But of cause it gave the girl a very powerful felling, and we all knew that.

I would like to emphasize, that the above mentioned by no means happened on a daily basis. But it did happen now and then, and of course the adults sometimes saw it.

But the women just smiled. They clearly thought that a girl causing a boy to have an unwanted erection was just a confirmation of female superiority, and that the girl only used the female powers that were rightfully hers. The adult men on the other side seemed to be embarrassed if they witnessed such a situation. They often tried to look the other way and went away.

Often a girl, who wanted to buy some chocolate or candies from the candy store in the village, or whom her mother had told to go to the village to buy something at the grocery store, or at the baker's or at the butcher's store, would ask me, or another of us boys, to do it for her in our spare time. Because the girls were our friends, I often did it gladly, but sometimes I wanted to do something else, and then I said no. The girl would then look me straight in my eyes with a insisting gaze while she was saying: Oh please, please do. As soon as I could feel my penis starting to stiffen, I always gave in to the girl and said yes, I'll do it, in order to avoid her seeing a full erection making a bulge in my briefs. But the girls always afterward rewarded us with a piece of chocolate or some candies for our help.

But is all this really a proof that every girl is superior to every boy?

Of this I was convinced in my boyhood, and also long after. But today I am not so sure. Please remember, that in our community all girls were taught by their mothers from early on, that they were superior to us boys. And we boys were told to respect and obey the girls, because we were inferior to them. Therefore our girls naturally had a lot of self confidence, and I wonder if it was this upbringing that caused the girls always to win the look at each other eye to eye contest? Could it be a reflection of our upbringing, rather than a proof of every girl's superiority over any boy? Or to put the question otherwise: Would that same contest produce the same result - the girls winning every time - among girls and boys who are not living in a Female Led Community like ours? Today I don't think so.

It is a fact, that young children are very easy to form according to the religious or ideological or otherwise ideas of the adults surrounding them. I could also say, that children are easy to manipulate.

If you expect a child to be clever and bright, that child will normally try to fulfill your expectations. And if you consider a child to be more or less worthless, and treat the child accordingly, that child most probably will end up felling herself or himself to be worthless.

We boys were absolutely not considered to be worthless by our mothers, but the prevailing female centered ideology of our small group certainly gave us strong feelings of inferiority towards girls.

Today I think, that the gaze test only showed, that we children - boys and girls alike - acted as the adults expected us to act. In Danish we call it "en cirkeslutning" ("circular conclusion"). In English I think they call it "begging the question".

But I don't blame our feminist mothers. Life has taught me, that it is very common for people with strong ideological or religious beliefs to do everything in their power to prove the truth of their beliefs, and to interpret almost everything in the world in accordance with their beliefs.

And I will emphasize, that much good came out of our Feminist Superiority upbringing, both for the girls, who became very self confident, and learned to take responsibility and to care for others (because that was what a superior person was supposed to do), and for us boys, who as young adults were very popular among young women, because we always respected them and always put their needs over our own, just as our mothers had taught us to do. And in our community it was strictly forbidden for children, girls and boys alike, to smoke, which also was a wise ruling of our mothers. We were allowed to drink beer, but not so much that we got drunk.

All kinds of pornography were also banned among us, because our mothers regarded it as a disgusting capitalistic and patriarchal exploitation of women. I still agree with that view. Our girls never used cosmetic, and because of that they looked natural and were beautiful, so we boys didn't need, and didn't want, pornography.

In our Female Led Community the women upheld the rather old fashioned rule, that it was strictly forbidden for us boys to masturbate. As I was a teenage boy my mother gave my little sister Ida the task to watch over that I did not masturbate during the night. Masturbation was a punishable offence, because a masturbating boy risked losing some of his strength and ability to concentrate, our mother told Ida and me. And if a boy had a girlfriend, it would make his girlfriend really mad if she suspected him of having the nasty habit of masturbation, because it proved, that the boy did not really respect the girl, who ought to be the sole focus of his sexual energy.

Nocturnal ejaculations, caused by wet dreams, on the other hand, were never punished. And of cause not, because this was only normal, as my mother said, and something that every boy had from time to time.

 

[littlecordelera]

Are there somebody here who grew up in a Female Led Family and would like to tell about it?

Not me. My mother died when I was 9-years-old, so for the most part, I was raised by my father. I love my dad, but when my mother died, he crumpled. For the next few years, he drowned his sorrows in liquor, and he hadn't the faintest clue how to raise a daughter. Nor did he much try, until our relationship became very, very hostile and there was a breaking point. Not until then did he even attempt to function as "a man."

We are very close now.

In those bad years, I raised myself, and I attended to my inebriated father. Had things been the other way around and my father had died, my mother would not have curled up into a ball like my father did. Her sorrow would have been just as deep, but she never would have neglected her obligations to her daughter. My mother was physically small, but her character was immensely strong.

Strangely, she was born and raised in a staunchly patriarchal society.

 

[Justplatonic]

Not me. My mother died when I was 9-years-old, so for the most part, I was raised by my father. I love my dad, but when my mother died, he crumpled. For the next few years, he drowned his sorrows in liquor, and he hadn't the faintest clue how to raise a daughter. Nor did he much try, until our relationship became very, very hostile and there was a breaking point. Not until then did he even attempt to function as "a man."

We are very close now.

In those bad years, I raised myself, and I attended to my inebriated father. Had things been the other way around and my father had died, my mother would not have curled up into a ball like my father did. Her sorrow would have been just as deep, but she never would have neglected her obligations to her daughter. My mother was physically small, but her character was immensely strong.

Strangely, she was born and raised in a staunchly patriarchal society.

I lost both my parents within a few years between them when I was much, much older, and that was tough to say the least... But at nine years old... I'm so sorry your Mother died when you were so young littlecordelera, and for all you went through... Although it's great you get on with your Father now...

My mother raised us for the most part. My father was the breadwinner (self employed) with long hours, so we only saw him on Sundays to begin with...

My mother was an amazing Woman. Graceful, fair, but firm. Her intellect was pretty much unsung at the time, but in retrospect she was very bright (I remember numerous examples of this). She was a brilliant mother to us (and did most of the parenting herself), but my father was cantankerous. Let's just say on occasion he'd bonce me of the walls... My siblings less (I only found out after he passed), probably because I'd be elsewhere, before returning home. I resent this now, and wished I'd known about it.

Circumstances changed, and we saw a lot more of our father which wasn't good... The funny thing was, his family and friends would always tell me what a great man he was. I know that was true, but as a father...

Near the end, when my mother died he was as devastated as we were... It transformed him in to a more gentle person. In some ways as we conversed over the few years he had left, he apologized for much of what he did. Despite this though, and I hate to admit it... I wished my mother survived him instead, if only to give me an opportunity to value her a little more than I did.

My mother was a Woman of epic proportions. This was underlined by many of her friends and relatives when she passed. It's my belief, her guidance and strength of character made an enormous impact on me, that still resonates to this very day several years after her departure.

I think I'm the man today in part to my father (his good parts as he did have some), but mostly my mother (all of her parts). It goes a long way to explain why I respect Women, and especially respond better to strong, confident, intelligent Women.

My Wife has those qualities, and for a short time she got to know my mother. She was so pleased with my Wife...

I'd echo littlecordelera, and say my mother was born and raised in a staunchly patriarchal society too. Marriages by proxy was normal...

 

[Tjeik]

Life in a Female Led Community in Denmark

Dear LittleLittlecordelia and Justplatonic

It don't seem so strange to me that you both had mothers with a strong character, although they were brought up in patriarchal families.
Because even in a patriarchal family it often is the wife who makes all the important decisions, without her husband even noticing it. I know many examples of this. And it seems to me to be clear prof of the woman's superior intellect and power.

Regarding the question of wether or not women are the superior sex I wil say, that a woman generally is more emphatic, and because of her higher level of intelligence she is more thoughtful, she better understand other peoples needs and feelings, and therefore she is better to care for other people. But she generally is also much better than are men to communicate and to manipulate other people.

Due to their deeper understanding of the world, most women have a much deeper interest in what we might call the spiritual world than do most of us men, and some women posses an amazing ability to connect with the divine powers, which I know for a fact, because my wife and her mother both are renowned healers in our neighbourhood. Of cause I don't deny, that a man also can posses healing powers and have a connection to the divine. But to my knowledge more women than men posses this power. A female power, which as we all know, in past centuries has been feared my men with authority in the western churches to such a degree, that those mentally and spiritually superior women were persecuted and executed as witches. It is no coincidence, that in many of the ancient cultures, of which some were Matriarchal, Goddesses and Priestesses had an important role, and in Matriarchies as for instant Bronze Age Crete, the exuberantly dressed Priestesses of The Great Goddess were the most important persons, who were assisted by almost naked young men.

As further proof of women superiority I will stress the fact, that today, where girls and young women no longer are subject to the same patriarchal prejudices and restriction in the educational system as they were in the recent past, they often by far outdo the boys and the young male students with regard to who are achieving the best result. And young females are far better car drivers than are young men. (In your female led community we didn't have cars. Our women were against private motoring because of the pollution it caused, so we always walked or biked or used public transport. Therefore I have never had a driver's license. And what you never had, you don't miss, as my mom always said).

All this said, I would emphasize, that this does not mean, that every woman is superior to any given man. Average values don't always hold good on the individual level, as we all should know.

And in some respect men are superior to women: Men mostly are physically stronger than women. And boys and men more often than not have a better sense of place than women have. As we were children, my sister Ida, and even my mom, often risked getting lost when we were in foreign surroundings some way from home, if they didn't have me to guide them.

So I still think*that the average women is superior to the average man in a lot of respects, as I have listed above. But as I just said this of cause does not mean, that every woman is superior to every man. That was what I thought as a boy and as a young man, because of my upbringing in a community, which was a kind of mini Matriarchy. But today I know that you have to count for the many and deep individual differences among people. You should not just judge the world and the people according to some fix ideology, be it the idea of Woman Superiority or otherwise.

By the way I live together with my wife Larissa, who lived in the same Female led community as Ida and me, and who was one of my best girlfriends back then. I later became her lover, and when I was about 20 years old, we began to live together in her mother Jacinta's house, where at that time also her sister Ophelia lived.

As a young teenage boy of 16-17-18 years I had several girlfriends, although only one at a time. This was partly due to the concept of free love, which our feminist mothers adhered to, as did almost all progressive young people at that time. But the girls of our community also considered it an affront to them, if a boy openly said no to a girl when she proposed him to start a sexual relationship, "at blive kærester", as we said in danish. This, I think, may have been a consequence of the girls constantly being told by their mothers, that they were superior, because this belief inevitably made it difficult for some of our girls to understand and accept a rejection.
When we were teenagers, it normally was the girl who took the initiative to engage in a relationship by proposing it to the boy she wanted, but of cause sometimes a boy would ask a girl whom he liked if she would be his girlfriend. But if a girl said no to us, we always had to accept it, because - as our mother had told us - a girl ultimately risked to become pregnant, and therefore a boy should always respect a no from a girl. Of cause condoms and p-pills were invented, but they were not always ready at hand. I don't think that this was unfair or a double standard, considering the potential consequences of sexual intercourse for the girl.*

But as I already have said there was one particular girl, whom I always had been fond of. It was Larissa, a very sweet girl a year younger than me, whom I briefly have mentioned in one of my earlier post. We had been close friends for several years, and when I was about 18 years old, she chose me as her lover, not just her boyfriend, as I had been for some time, which among us meant, that she wanted to form a more permanent relationship with me.

Larissa was a very special girl. Always sweet and nice to girls and boys alike, and always very considerate and ready to help if need be. She always brought us boys some refreshments when we were hard working, if she had a spare time. Especially on the hot summer days, where we really needed it. The same did most of the other girls, but Larissa was very keen on doing it.
And I always as a boy felt good in her company. She never tried to demonstrate her superiority to us boys, and she never looked us straight in the eyes as some of the other girls sometimes did, which we resented. She was a very clever and emphatic girl, and she always seemed to know what I was feeling. I think that she was prior to her age, but the funny thing is, that as a boy of 14-15 years of age I never felt any embarrassing kind of inferiority when I was together with Larissa.
In the summer when I had just turned 16, I had a traumatic experience in which Larissa played a crucial role. After that the bond between us grew stronger, and we became close friends. And later I was her boyfriend and as told I finally became her lover. As I have told already, when I was about 20 years old I moved to Larissa's mothers house to live with Larissa. And we still live together.

Larissa and her only one year younger sister Ophelia and their mother Jacinta originally came from Greece. Her parents belonged to a left winged group in their homeland, but in the year 1967 there was a right winged military coup in Greece, and in the aftermath of that coup the father of the family "disappeared", presumably killed by the secret police or right wing fanatics or something like that.
Jacinta managed to escape to Italy with her to infant daughters, and they finally ended up in Denmark as political refugees.

Because Jacinta was well educated, and able to speak English, she soon got contact to left wing and feminist groups in our country. She was lucky enough to get a job, and in 1975 or 1976 she and her daughters moved in as newcomers in our little community.
There was something very special about Jacinta, which at first was meet with some skepticism among the other women, but which soon was proved to be true, and afterwards much appreciated: Larissa's and Ophelia's mother Jacinta had supernatural powers. She could communicate with the divine powers, and she possessed healing powers.
When they came to us, Larissa and Ophelia spoke fluently Danish, and their mother also spoke danish, although with an accent.

As I already said, when I was 20 years old, I moved to Jacinta's house to live with Larissa. We were not married, because the feminist women considered marriage to be a relict of patriarchy. We lived in our childhood community until 2007, were it was finally dissolved due to the fact, that the young women and heiresses at that time did not want to continue the female founders very frugal and collective based lifestyle.

 

[Justplatonic]

Dear LittleLittlecordelia and Justplatonic

It don't seem so strange to me that you both had mothers with a strong character, although they were brought up in patriarchal families.
Because even in a patriarchal family it often is the wife who makes all the important decisions, without her husband even noticing it. I know many examples of this. And it seems to me to be clear prof of the woman's superior intellect and power.

Regarding the question of wether or not women are the superior sex I wil say, that a woman generally is more emphatic, and because of her higher level of intelligence she is more thoughtful, she better understand other peoples needs and feelings, and therefore she is better to care for other people. But she generally is also much better than are men to communicate and to manipulate other people.

Due to their deeper understanding of the world, most women have a much deeper interest in what we might call the spiritual world than do most of us men, and some women posses an amazing ability to connect with the divine powers, which I know for a fact, because my wife and her mother both are renowned healers in our neighbourhood. Of cause I don't deny, that a man also can posses healing powers and have a connection to the divine. But to my knowledge more women than men posses this power. A female power, which as we all know, in past centuries has been feared my men with authority in the western churches to such a degree, that those mentally and spiritually superior women were persecuted and executed as witches. It is no coincidence, that in many of the ancient cultures, of which some were Matriarchal, Goddesses and Priestesses had an important role, and in Matriarchies as for instant Bronze Age Crete, the exuberantly dressed Priestesses of The Great Goddess were the most important persons, who were assisted by almost naked young men.

As further proof of women superiority I will stress the fact, that today, where girls and young women no longer are subject to the same patriarchal prejudices and restriction in the educational system as they were in the recent past, they often by far outdo the boys and the young male students with regard to who are achieving the best result. And young females are far better car drivers than are young men. (In your female led community we didn't have cars. Our women were against private motoring because of the pollution it caused, so we always walked or biked or used public transport. Therefore I have never had a driver's license. And what you never had, you don't miss, as my mom always said).

All this said, I would emphasize, that this does not mean, that every woman is superior to any given man. Average values don't always hold good on the individual level, as we all should know.

And in some respect men are superior to women: Men mostly are physically stronger than women. And boys and men more often than not have a better sense of place than women have. As we were children, my sister Ida, and even my mom, often risked getting lost when we were in foreign surroundings some way from home, if they didn't have me to guide them.

So I still think*that the average women is superior to the average man in a lot of respects, as I have listed above. But as I just said this of cause does not mean, that every woman is superior to every man. That was what I thought as a boy and as a young man, because of my upbringing in a community, which was a kind of mini Matriarchy. But today I know that you have to count for the many and deep individual differences among people. You should not just judge the world and the people according to some fix ideology, be it the idea of Woman Superiority or otherwise.

By the way I live together with my wife Larissa, who lived in the same Female led community as Ida and me, and who was one of my best girlfriends back then. I later became her lover, and when I was about 20 years old, we began to live together in her mother Jacinta's house, where at that time also her sister Ophelia lived.

As a young teenage boy of 16-17-18 years I had several girlfriends, although only one at a time. This was partly due to the concept of free love, which our feminist mothers adhered to, as did almost all progressive young people at that time. But the girls of our community also considered it an affront to them, if a boy openly said no to a girl when she proposed him to start a sexual relationship, "at blive kærester", as we said in danish. This, I think, may have been a consequence of the girls constantly being told by their mothers, that they were superior, because this belief inevitably made it difficult for some of our girls to understand and accept a rejection.
When we were teenagers, it normally was the girl who took the initiative to engage in a relationship by proposing it to the boy she wanted, but of cause sometimes a boy would ask a girl whom he liked if she would be his girlfriend. But if a girl said no to us, we always had to accept it, because - as our mother had told us - a girl ultimately risked to become pregnant, and therefore a boy should always respect a no from a girl. Of cause condoms and p-pills were invented, but they were not always ready at hand. I don't think that this was unfair or a double standard, considering the potential consequences of sexual intercourse for the girl.*

But as I already have said there was one particular girl, whom I always had been fond of. It was Larissa, a very sweet girl a year younger than me, whom I briefly have mentioned in one of my earlier post. We had been close friends for several years, and when I was about 18 years old, she chose me as her lover, not just her boyfriend, as I had been for some time, which among us meant, that she wanted to form a more permanent relationship with me.

Larissa was a very special girl. Always sweet and nice to girls and boys alike, and always very considerate and ready to help if need be. She always brought us boys some refreshments when we were hard working, if she had a spare time. Especially on the hot summer days, where we really needed it. The same did most of the other girls, but Larissa was very keen on doing it.
And I always as a boy felt good in her company. She never tried to demonstrate her superiority to us boys, and she never looked us straight in the eyes as some of the other girls sometimes did, which we resented. She was a very clever and emphatic girl, and she always seemed to know what I was feeling. I think that she was prior to her age, but the funny thing is, that as a boy of 14-15 years of age I never felt any embarrassing kind of inferiority when I was together with Larissa.
In the summer when I had just turned 16, I had a traumatic experience in which Larissa played a crucial role. After that the bond between us grew stronger, and we became close friends. And later I was her boyfriend and as told I finally became her lover. As I have told already, when I was about 20 years old I moved to Larissa's mothers house to live with Larissa. And we still live together.

Larissa and her only one year younger sister Ophelia and their mother Jacinta originally came from Greece. Her parents belonged to a left winged group in their homeland, but in the year 1967 there was a right winged military coup in Greece, and in the aftermath of that coup the father of the family "disappeared", presumably killed by the secret police or right wing fanatics or something like that.
Jacinta managed to escape to Italy with her to infant daughters, and they finally ended up in Denmark as political refugees.

Because Jacinta was well educated, and able to speak English, she soon got contact to left wing and feminist groups in our country. She was lucky enough to get a job, and in 1975 or 1976 she and her daughters moved in as newcomers in our little community.
There was something very special about Jacinta, which at first was meet with some skepticism among the other women, but which soon was proved to be true, and afterwards much appreciated: Larissa's and Ophelia's mother Jacinta had supernatural powers. She could communicate with the divine powers, and she possessed healing powers.
When they came to us, Larissa and Ophelia spoke fluently Danish, and their mother also spoke danish, although with an accent.

As I already said, when I was 20 years old, I moved to Jacinta's house to live with Larissa. We were not married, because the feminist women considered marriage to be a relict of patriarchy. We lived in our childhood community until 2007, were it was finally dissolved due to the fact, that the young women and heiresses at that time did not want to continue the female founders very frugal and collective based lifestyle.

Thanks Tjeik... A very clear and concise explanation on Female Supremacy...

I agree, each and every case has it's merits (or not) for both sexes... But nonetheless there are standouts... The Women who stand tall, think without limits, and proud are Supreme...

You just have to look towards nature and see for yourself. There are many species where the Female is deadlier than the male. Not that I suggest death to anyone, but my point is the template is in nature, as it is in humankind...

 

[irishblade]

Tjeik That was amazing. Thanks for sharing. I’ve always felt inferior to females but definitely didn’t grow up in a Female Led Society. Sounds like an environment I would have thrived in. Is Ida still in the lifestyle and living it much as the other women in your community?

 

[Tjeik]

Life in a Female Led Community in Denmark

Dear Irishblade

"Tjeik That was amazing. Thanks for sharing. I’ve always felt inferior to females but definitely didn’t grow up in a Female Led Society. Sounds like an environment I would have thrived in. Is Ida still in the lifestyle and living it much as the other women in your community?".

Perhaps you would have thrived in our Female Led Community, but you cannot be sure of it. Because there were some darker sides of our little Matriarchy, which I have not mentioned, but which would seem very odd, even unbelievable, today. Perhaps I will tell about it later on, and perhaps not.

But to avoid misunderstandings, I will emphasize, that those darker sides in no way whatsoever involved sexual abuse of us children, be it girls or boys, by the adults. I need to say this, because in those days it was quite common among so called "progressive people" in Denmark to say, that "children are sexual beings to" (which is true), who want to explore their sexuality together with adult people (which is not true).
In the year 1971 the "Free Town Christiania" (Fristaden Christiania) was established in the heart of Copenhagen by young progressive leftist people, who occupied an area with many old, large and good buildings, which formerly had belonged to the danish military. There they established their own socialist utopian society (as our moms a year before had established their smaller Female Led Community in rural surroundings) where absolute sexual freedom was the rule of the Christiania Community. Many of the kids who grew up in Christiania later on told, how they were sexually abused by the adults, mostly by men, but also by women, who considered themselves to be politically and sexually progressive.
The 1970s was a decade were many of the rebellious and experimenting young people went to the extremes all over Western Europe. And our mothers growing fascination with the Matriarchy and Goddess Worship ideas eventually turned into a form of fanaticism, I unfortunately have to say. Some of us boys paid the price, but it did not involve sexual abuse, or any other form of exploitation of us.

My dear sister Ida is still very much into the Female Led lifestyle. Ida lives together with her husband Silas, a son of Mette, who was one of the feminist moms of our community. Ida chose Silas as her lover and permanent male partner as they both were very young and had him come to live with her in mom's and Ida's house (where they still live). They have three children. Their son Peter (he is the oldest of them) and their two lovely daughters Susanne and Kirsten, who are all still living according to the Female Led ideals of their parents.

Ida has always been a very strong willed, but also a most empathic and passionate person. Although she obviously leds in her and Silas relationship - as Larissa unquestionably always have led in our relationship - neither Ida nor Larissa would insist on something, if they know that Peter or I are strongly against it. Female Leadership does not mean Female Dictatorship. In any case not among us. Because although the woman in our Female Led Relationship has the right to decide, the male also has the right to leave. Even if it not is so easy as it is said in a community, where everything is owned by the women, and especially not when there are children involved, it all the same sets some limits to the power of our wifes. But the strongest bound of cause is, that we love each other, and that our loving wifes often know what we men want, before we ourselves know it.

Nearly all of those, who were girls and boys in our little Matriarchy, are still living in Female Led Relationships. Many of us live together with wifes or men (as Ida and I do), whom we already knew, and who were our friends, when we were children in our "Matriarchy".
But of cause their are exceptions: As I have told, things went very bad for Hanne, who ended up in Copenhagen as a drug addict. And her two brothers Martin and Peter, whom she tyrannized as they were kids, without their parents interfering, didn't continue the Female Led Lifestyle in their marriages, for which I don't blame them. So none of the children in the most outspoken matriarchal family in our small community live a Female Led life today. I think it is a warning against extremism.

A "dark side" of the Female Led Community in which we lived, when we were grown up teenage boys is the fact, that the all prevailing Female Dominance tended to make us boys tough and violent, strange as it may seem.

I will try to explain this paradox:





The first four or five years after our mothers had established our small community, the inhabitants in the nearby village forbade their children to visit us, because our feminist and leftist mothers were considered to be "crazy people". But as I have told in a previous post, gradually the people in the village found out that we were hard working and well behaved girls and boys, and then they allowed their children to visit us, and be friends with us.
Among the village boys is was common to have some kind of leisure job, especially during the long summer holidays, in order to earn some money. Many of them had such a job, and therefore they did not help us with our work, and we didn't expect them to either.

We on our part always helped the boys from our neighboring village if they had quarrels and fights with boys from other villages, and we really liked to do it. Although we normally were well behaved, when I look back I think that we boys could be quite violent, if we were provoked, or if our friends were provoked. or even worse: If someone tried to provoke, or did not respect, our girls. Then there would surely flow blood. The blood of the disrespectful. And perhaps also our own blood, but we didn't care about our own pain.

I think that the explanation for this violent tendency among us - although it only showed up if we or someone we cared for were provoked or attacked - should be sought in our Female Led upbringing.
Therefore I have to tell a bit more about this.

As I have told, the women who had founded our community owned everything in common. They were strong believers in collectivism and women solidarity, and that meant, that if one of the mothers had financial troubles, the other women always would lent her money. Or they simply gave her money, or helped her in other ways.
As leftist feminist, who gradually came to believe in Goddess inspired spirituality, our mothers considered motherhood to be something almost holy, and they didn't approve of abortion. (This was a very uncommon attitude on the left wing back in the 1970s).

Although most of our mothers were well educated, and many were academics, their high evaluation of motherhood meant, that they did not want to have a full-time job as long as their children were in their preteen years. If they had a lover, or even better a permanent male partner, he of cause would have a paid job outside our community, but we all lived a very frugal life, trying to be as self sufficient as we could.
(Our moms and sisters for instance made much of our clothes, especially the girls clothes, in what was called hønsestrik. Later on they even sold their beautiful hønsestrik clothes to the people in the surrounding villages, in order to earn some money).

But when the eldest daughter of a household came of age - that meant when she was a young teenage girl of 13 or 14 years - her mother would try to find a full-time job (which often was quite easy back then), leaving her teenage daughter to be her substitute when she herself and her male partner were at work, with the right and duty to delegate the day's work to her sisters and brothers, and with full authority to even punish her brothers if need be.
This our moms did, because they rightly thought, that girls are more mature than are boys, and therefore they were vastly superior to us, as we were always told. And because the girls spent their working time at home together with our moms, they exactly knew how our moms used to delegate the different tasks to the sisters and brothers in a fair way. And as the girls were the heiresses, assuming responsibility when acting as their mothers substitutes was a kind of training them for their future life. So our mothers thought.
In order to tell how this worked in practice, I will use my own little family as an example:

When my dear little sister Ida turned 13, and thus became a young teenage girl - I was 16 years old at the time - we had a great birthday party for her in our house where a lot of girls and boys from our community and from the nearby village were present.
Ida was born on the 2. of June, so it was a nice and warm summer day. We played white settlers and Indians, and I remember that we boys - the Indians - won the war game on that day.
But after the children had left us in the early evening hours, our mom summoned Ida and me in the living room, and told us, that she had got a full-time job at the University in Copenhagen, and that she would start working there after the summer holidays. From time to time our mother had had past-time jobs, but most of the time she had stayed at home with us children.
But now, mom said, Ida was old enough to assume responsibility and take over the leading role in our house due to her new status as a teenage girl and act as mom's substitute when she was away from home. From now on I would have to obey Ida as I had obeyed herself, mom said, and Ida was authorized to punish me in the same way as mom used to do, if necessary.
I didn't like to hear that. I blushed, and in my feeling of embarrassment I could even fell that an erection was starting to form in my briefs.
But then I noticed how proud and happy Ida looked, and that made me feel happy for her. I actually hogged her and congratulated her, and this sign of accept from my part was the right thing to do, because my sense of embarrassment almost disappeared.
As you might have guessed, Ida never misused her power. She worked every bit as hard as me, and she very rarely punished me with a slap to my face. When she did, her face slapping really stung, but she only did it on rare occasions, where I certainly deserved it. (As a teenage boy, I sometimes could be quite lazy, I must admit).
That my sister Ida was in charge when mother was away from home also meant, that Ida had the full responsibility for everything that happened. If mom came home, and something was not done to her satisfaction, it was always Ida, never me, who was reprimanded by our mother. Even if I also somehow was to blame, it was always Ida whom mom hold responsible, because she had the been given the female authority.
It often made life easier for me than for Ida, I think. But it of cause also strengthened in me the feeling of inferiority towards Ida and all other girls.

I am pretty sure, that the Female Led conditions of our daily life was the reason, why we boys could be really violent if we were in a fight, especially if some of our girls were present. Because then we had a chance to show our courage and strength to the girls, and earn their admiration. Here we, not the girls, were superior.
In our late teenage years, when we were between 16 and 19 years old, we sometimes took the train to Copenhagen to visit Christiania or go to a disco to have some fun.
We always had some of our girls of our own age with us, and our moms always told us to look after the girls (passe godt på pigerne), because we were expected to protect them if necessary.
This made us very proud, and if some guys in Copenhagen didn't respect our girls, our tried to annoy them, we certainly reacted, and often quite violently. Often the young guys in the Capital mistook us for hippies because of our long hair. But if they annoyed or provoked us, or even worse our girls, they soon found out, that we were not the soft hippie guys that they thought us to be.
That the roles between the girls and us boys somehow were reversed on our trips to Copenhagen, strengthened our self confidence. And we of cause enjoyed the admiration our girls openly showed us in those kinds of situations.

So I don't think that boys raised in Female Led families automatically tend to be soft or pacifistic young men. In my experience quite the opposite.

 

[Justplatonic]

But the strongest bound of cause is, that we love each other, and that our loving wifes often know what we men want, before we ourselves know it.

Hi Tjeik... Wow, you're really fleshing out your community's history. How it was like... It's very interesting...

The above quote is very true of my Wife and I. Sometimes a decision is made, and I find out after the fact. However I'm OK with that when it happens, because my Wife has my interests, and family's at heart.

There are the odd (seldom) occasions where she'll decide a discussion is required...

 

[Tjeik]

Life in a Female Led Community in Denmark

Dear Justplatonic

"Hi Tjeik... Wow, you're really fleshing out your community's history. How it was like... It's very interesting..."

Well, here in Denmark we still have corona lock down in some areas, and I therefore have a lot of spare time to write about how it is to live in a Female Led Community as I have experienced it.
And as I wrote earlier, I have been provoked to write by reading stories on the Internet about Female Superiority, where the supposed superior women and girls often are described as some sort of evil monsters, who constantly are humiliating, spanking or torturing their men and brothers.

We former girls and boys, who grew up in what became a kind of "little Matriarchy" still form a closely knit group, because we very often meet each other. Our wifes, who were the best of girlfriends back then, see to this and arrange our meetings, and then we talk about the old days and how to raise our own kids in a proper way according to our Female Led Relationship ideals. And our wifes still support each other in every way, also economically, even if most of us don't live in our old community any more.
As I have hinted at in another post, there was a period where the Goddess centered matriarchal ideology of our mothers became fanatical, and I am sorry to say that this fanaticism to a great extent was due to the influence of the German Feminists and Goddess Worshipers, with whom our mothers had a close contact back then. I don't like to say it, because I have nothing whatsoever against Germans.
The fanatical period later became a kind of warning to us, not to be fanatical, but we still live according to our old ways, and we really are very conservative. I don't mean conservative in the political sense, but our values and even our appearance are conservative, you might say.
Although our women no longer wear hønsestrik dresses, they still don't use cosmetics, and neither do their daughters nor granddaughters. And we men still wear our hair long as we did back then, and we are all clean shaven, because all adult men in our community back then were also clean shaven.
It is a kind of paradox, that a group of people, whose mothers fifty years ago founded a community, which they thought of as progressive, have turned out to be conservative, you might think.
But this conservatism should not surprise you, because it is found in most small communities around the world, e.g. in small religious sects like Jehova's Witnesses or the Mormons, our among the Amish People in the USA.

You should not think, that the girls were allowed to bully us boys around in what I call the fanatical period of our Female Led Community.
(Hanne's family was an exeption, but they unfortunately didn't live according to our moms ideals of Female Superiority, which included mutual respect and love).

In some cases it even were the girls, who were treated unjust by our mothers, I have to say.

I will give an example of this from my own little family:

Shortly before Christmas 1979, when Ida was 14 year old and I was 17 year old, our mother, who worked at the Sociology Faculty at the University at Copenhagen at that time, had to help arranging an academic conference of some sort, and she therefore had to be away from home from Friday morning to Sunday evening. Strange as it may seem, we very much celebrated Christmas, and Ida and me used to get nice Christmas presents, because Chrismas was the Winter Solstice, which according to our mothers was an important holiday in the Matriarchal Calendar.
So Ida and me had a lot to do preparing for Christmas. ("Jul" is the word used in Danish, and Jul is a pre-christian word, derived from danish word "hjul", which means "wheel").

As a substitute for my mother who was away, it was Ida's responsibility to organize the work and to tell me, what she wanted me to do.
On Saturday she told me to go to the grocery shop in the nearby village to buy a lot of stuff, but I asked her if I could stay there for a while and talk with Tom, a boy of my age who was a friend of mine.
Ida said yes, but she told me to come back quickly, because we both had a lot of work to do, and of I went.
Well, both Tom and I were very fond of chess, and therefore we that day played a game of chess together. Although Tom was a better chess player than I, I won the game, and Tom then asked me for another game, to which I unfortunately said yes. This game Tom won, and then I forgot all about time, so we played a third and decisive game, which Tom also won. And after that we even analyzed our chess games.
Therefore it was already dark evening, before I came back home. Of cause Ida was very angry at me. She scolded me, and gave me a stinging slap to my face. I of cause apologized. But although on the next day, which was Sunday, we both tried to make up for the time I had lost, we didn't manage to do all which we were supposed to do before our mother came back home that evening.
Mother of cause at once noticed, that we were afterwards with the Christmas preparations, and Ida of cause then told her that it was my fault, because I had stayed with my friend Tom almost the whole Saturday long.
But that explanation did not satisfy mom. She was furious. Not with me, but with Ida. I clearly remember that mom with an angry reprimanding voice said to Ida, that: "You knew exactly where Tjeik was. You should have fetched him and dragged him home by his hair, if necessary (om nødvendigt trække ham med hjem ved håret)". Mom even went so far as to imply, that Ida was not worthy of her trust and of being her substitute when she was not at home, which made Ida have tears in her eyes. I tried to intervene on Ida's behalf, but mom did not blame me, because I was a boy, who didn't have the responsibility. Ida on the other hand she considered to be a mature girl, and she had failed.

I felt that this treatment was unjust to Ida, even if I was spared from reproach.
And Ida most certainly felt in the same way.
That night neither Ida nor I could sleep. Ida kept reprimanding and blaming me with a whispering voice. She was so mad at me, that she even tried to squeeze my testicles. But I grabbed her by her wrists, and forced her arms back. In her anger she then smashed her knee right into my groin, and hit my testicles. That really really hurt, and mom woke up by the noise of me moaning in pain. But again she scolded Ida. "Don't hurt Tjeik in the groin because of your shortcomings" ("spark ikke Tjeik i skridtet for dine fejltagelser"), she reprimanded Ida with a stern voice.
The next morning, while we still lay in our double bed, I tried to tell Ida how sorry I was for what had happened, but she was still was mad at me. But then I said, that I really deserved her kicking me in my testicles during the night, at that made her smile. A little later she hogged me, and forgave me.

After mom's unfair treatment that day shortly before Christmas I never let Ida down again. And she never had to punish me any more. Because I loved Ida with brotherly love, I of cause did not want to bring her in a similar situation once again, so this experience certainly made me a lot more considerate and responsible than I was before.

As adults Ida and I have sometimes talked about this episode, and today we tend to think, that mom perhaps was wise to scold Ida and not me, because she of cause knew of the strong bonds between us, and that I probably would adjust my behavior for the sake of my dear little sister.

 

[Justplatonic]

Dear Justplatonic

"Hi Tjeik... Wow, you're really fleshing out your community's history. How it was like... It's very interesting..."

Well, here in Denmark we still have corona lock down in some areas, and I therefore have a lot of spare time to write about how it is to live in a Female Led Community as I have experienced it.
And as I wrote earlier, I have been provoked to write by reading stories on the Internet about Female Superiority, where the supposed superior women and girls often are described as some sort of evil monsters, who constantly are humiliating, spanking or torturing their men and brothers.

We former girls and boys, who grew up in what became a kind of "little Matriarchy" still form a closely knit group, because we very often meet each other. Our wifes, who were the best of girlfriends back then, see to this and arrange our meetings, and then we talk about the old days and how to raise our own kids in a proper way according to our Female Led Relationship ideals. And our wifes still support each other in every way, also economically, even if most of us don't live in our old community any more.
As I have hinted at in another post, there was a period where the Goddess centered matriarchal ideology of our mothers became fanatical, and I am sorry to say that this fanaticism to a great extent was due to the influence of the German Feminists and Goddess Worshipers, with whom our mothers had a close contact back then. I don't like to say it, because I have nothing whatsoever against Germans.
The fanatical period later became a kind of warning to us, not to be fanatical, but we still live according to our old ways, and we really are very conservative. I don't mean conservative in the political sense, but our values and even our appearance are conservative, you might say.
Although our women no longer wear hønsestrik dresses, they still don't use cosmetics, and neither do their daughters nor granddaughters. And we men still wear our hair long as we did back then, and we are all clean shaven, because all adult men in our community back then were also clean shaven.
It is a kind of paradox, that a group of people, whose mothers fifty years ago founded a community, which they thought of as progressive, have turned out to be conservative, you might think.
But this conservatism should not surprise you, because it is found in most small communities around the world, e.g. in small religious sects like Jehova's Witnesses or the Mormons, our among the Amish People in the USA.

You should not think, that the girls were allowed to bully us boys around in what I call the fanatical period of our Female Led Community.
(Hanne's family was an exeption, but they unfortunately didn't live according to our moms ideals of Female Superiority, which included mutual respect and love).

In some cases it even were the girls, who were treated unjust by our mothers, I have to say.

I will give an example of this from my own little family:

Shortly before Christmas 1979, when Ida was 14 year old and I was 17 year old, our mother, who worked at the Sociology Faculty at the University at Copenhagen at that time, had to help arranging an academic conference of some sort, and she therefore had to be away from home from Friday morning to Sunday evening. Strange as it may seem, we very much celebrated Christmas, and Ida and me used to get nice Christmas presents, because Chrismas was the Winter Solstice, which according to our mothers was an important holiday in the Matriarchal Calendar.
So Ida and me had a lot to do preparing for Christmas. ("Jul" is the word used in Danish, and Jul is a pre-christian word, derived from danish word "hjul", which means "wheel").

As a substitute for my mother who was away, it was Ida's responsibility to organize the work and to tell me, what she wanted me to do.
On Saturday she told me to go to the grocery shop in the nearby village to buy a lot of stuff, but I asked her if I could stay there for a while and talk with Tom, a boy of my age who was a friend of mine.
Ida said yes, but she told me to come back quickly, because we both had a lot of work to do, and of I went.
Well, both Tom and I were very fond of chess, and therefore we that day played a game of chess together. Although Tom was a better chess player than I, I won the game, and Tom then asked me for another game, to which I unfortunately said yes. This game Tom won, and then I forgot all about time, so we played a third and decisive game, which Tom also won. And after that we even analyzed our chess games.
Therefore it was already dark evening, before I came back home. Of cause Ida was very angry at me. She scolded me, and gave me a stinging slap to my face. I of cause apologized. But although on the next day, which was Sunday, we both tried to make up for the time I had lost, we didn't manage to do all which we were supposed to do before our mother came back home that evening.
Mother of cause at once noticed, that we were afterwards with the Christmas preparations, and Ida of cause then told her that it was my fault, because I had stayed with my friend Tom almost the whole Saturday long.
But that explanation did not satisfy mom. She was furious. Not with me, but with Ida. I clearly remember that mom with an angry reprimanding voice said to Ida, that: "You knew exactly where Tjeik was. You should have fetched him and dragged him home by his hair, if necessary (om nødvendigt trække ham med hjem ved håret)". Mom even went so far as to imply, that Ida was not worthy of her trust and of being her substitute when she was not at home, which made Ida have tears in her eyes. I tried to intervene on Ida's behalf, but mom did not blame me, because I was a boy, who didn't have the responsibility. Ida on the other hand she considered to be a mature girl, and she had failed.

I felt that this treatment was unjust to Ida, even if I was spared from reproach.
And Ida most certainly felt in the same way.
That night neither Ida nor I could sleep. Ida kept reprimanding and blaming me with a whispering voice. She was so mad at me, that she even tried to squeeze my testicles. But I grabbed her by her wrists, and forced her arms back. In her anger she then smashed her knee right into my groin, and hit my testicles. That really really hurt, and mom woke up by the noise of me moaning in pain. But again she scolded Ida. "Don't hurt Tjeik in the groin because of your shortcomings" ("spark ikke Tjeik i skridtet for dine fejltagelser"), she reprimanded Ida with a stern voice.
The next morning, while we still lay in our double bed, I tried to tell Ida how sorry I was for what had happened, but she was still was mad at me. But then I said, that I really deserved her kicking me in my testicles during the night, at that made her smile. A little later she hogged me, and forgave me.

After mom's unfair treatment that day shortly before Christmas I never let Ida down again. And she never had to punish me any more. Because I loved Ida with brotherly love, I of cause did not want to bring her in a similar situation once again, so this experience certainly made me a lot more considerate and responsible than I was before.

As adults Ida and I have sometimes talked about this episode, and today we tend to think, that mom perhaps was wise to scold Ida and not me, because she of cause knew of the strong bonds between us, and that I probably would adjust my behavior for the sake of my dear little sister.

Thanks again Tjeik... I'm still close to my siblings too. We went through a lot together, but fortunately my Mother was there to support us through it...

We no longer live in the same city, but we make efforts to keep in touch...

 

[eroticspank]

Yes thank you, Tjeik I agree with Justplatonic and others on here that your comments and information about what you lived through are very informative.

In particular, I was amazed that your group started out progressive and became conservative. You mentioned in the bedroom intercourse but not oral sex. And no condoms or birth control used. If it was used it was seldom. Would you say your bedroom activities were also conservative? Is that still true today?

ES

 

[Justplatonic]

I was thinking about your posts, Tjeik... I became inspired to post this...

I do the school run, and over the years, I've made friends with other parents. Would it surprise you to know, the best school-run-friends I have are Women?

One thing really annoyed me before I became self aware (i.e. know my place)... We'd be chatting away as we walked, another Woman joins in, or we walked up to one. Now granted, these Women knew my friend(s), but I could never understand why they'd either say "See you later" (even though we'd normally walk way past that point before we parted), or just walk off. I always thought is was really rude...

Since becoming self aware, it's happened several times again... But now, I just nod, smile, and move on... I appreciate it's an honor to be friends with intelligent Women... And now I respect their desire to converse with other intelligent Women, especially when they feel the need to do so...

 

[Wonderer67]

This is a fascinating story Tjiek and others that have been writing of their experiences.

I’ve always been interested in societal or organizational or cultural change ideas, so it’s very interesting to hear how this all played out.

 

[Tjeik]

Life in a Female Led Community in Denmark

Dear Justplatonic

You write: "Would it surprise you to know, the best school-run-friends I have are Women?".

In the small village school, where we girls and boys went to school, we didn't have a school-run, but I totally agree with you. Some of my best friends are in fact women, although most of them are women with whom I grew up when we were children in our own Female Led Community. But I especially remember a girl named Susanne, with whom I very much liked to talk in my early school days. She was quite remarkable, because in those early days the adults in the village forbade their children to connect with us, as our mothers were considered to be "lunatics". But Susanne didn't care. Unfortunately she left school about a year later, when her family moved away.

As I think that I have said in an earlier post, if you are following a course or go to a lecture about religion or spirituality, at least two third of the participants are women. Larissa and me often go to such courses and lectures, because Larissa has inherited strong supernatural and healing powers from her mother Jacinta. (They where greeks who fled after the 1967 military coup in that contry). Therefore Larissa is often asked to organize courses about healing and other spiritual themes, where she of cause always is one of the speakers, due to her many years of experience.

As Ida and me were children, we were always told, that competition is an inevitable trait of the patriarchal society, which our moms resented, because males are born to be competitive. Women on the other hand tend to be compassionate and caring, due to the fact that they in all traditional societies are the main child carers.
Today I think that this explanation perhaps may be a bit exaggerated, but back then I of cause believed in everything that my mom and the other moms in our Female Led Community said.
It was among other things to avoid the "typically male competitiveness", that our feminist mothers always insisted upon, that our community should remain strictly Female Led.
In later life I found out, that women can be quite competitive to. But Larissa and Ida, and my other female friends from my childhood, who still very much adhere to their old matriarchal ideology, insist on saying, that overtly competitive women just have taken over a patriarchal trait to survive in a male dominated society.
I don't know if this explanation is true - our women have an explanation of everything according to our Female Centered world view - but at least I know for sure, that our moms who founded our "little Matriarchy" did their outmost to live up to their ideals of limitless solidarity within their group.

"I understand it's an honor to be friends with intelligent Women...".

Exactly. I couldn't have said it better myself.

I of cause am very proud of my wife Larissa, who is a quite extraordinary woman in many ways. (But all human beings are extraordinary in some way or other, although it may not always be for the good...).
And although I in fact do not consider myself to be a submissive person, it never has bothered me that Larissa always has made all the important decisions in our family. That is because I always, even as a boy, have respected her wisdom and judgement. She has a way to never let me feel inferior in her company, even if she in most ways is vastly superior to me, e.g. with regard to her supernatural powers, but not only that. Even when I was a boy I never felt embarrased or inferior when I was together with Larissa.
As a funny thing I can tell, that when I during our corona shot down read about Female Superiority on the Internet - most of which don't correspond with Larissa's and my own upbringing and experiences - I once showed Larissa a picture of a so called "Domme" in leather boots and a whip in her hand.
Larissa just smiled and remarked, that this woman obviously does not have much authority of her own if she have to threaten or spank her male to have him respect and obey her...

Back in the old days we boys in our community were very proud of our naturally beautiful, mentally strong, strong willed and yet considerate and compassionate sisters and girlfriends. And when we in our teenage years became friends with many of the girls and boys from the neighbouring village, most of those boys were fascinated by our girls to. They even said that most of the girls from their own village were "silly" compared to our girls.
I think that this was due to the fact that our girls worked a lot - as did we boys - and that our mothers from an early age gave their daughters a great deal of responsibility, acting as their mothers substitutes as many of them did - like Ida did - when the adults were absent at work in the day time.
As I have told, the authority given a teenage girl like Ida in the absence of her mother could easily backfire on her, if something went wrong. As it for instance did for Ida shortly before Christmas (Jul in Danish) 1979, as I have told in my previous post. As told, I was really the one to blame, but mother was right in saying, that Ida ought to have gone to the village to get me back, because she knew where I was. If she had done so, I most certainly would have gone home with her, because I of cause respected her authority. But I simply forgot all about time due to the excitement of the game of chess.
After all, something good came out of it, because after moms angry and unjust punishment of Ida I did my best to never let her down again.

I learned that if you don't do your duty, someone other may suffer. And this someone may be a person you care for, as I cared for my dear little sister Ida, and still do.