My 1st story was sent back. I'm not sure what to do

[unwished]

The message for the rejection was:

["You all are fools. You're just hermit crabs, and she's a volcano. It was said to a bunch of computer-science experts by a thirteen year-old with a squeaky voice and was followed by a middle finger." "You said that to stick up for your sister?" Priti said. "That's so cute."] As our submission FAQ states, we do not accept stories involving people under the age of 18 in sexual situations: http://www.literotica.com/faq/05235347.shtml#05319407 This includes but is not limited to talking explicitly about sex, voyeurism, exhibitionism, fantasizing, masturbation, and graphic sexualized descriptions, in addition to actual sexual intercourse. This also includes explicit past remembrances, descriptions of an underage person’s body/physical development and/or the reaction of other people to it; references to people under the age of 18 “playing doctor” or “sex education”, and any similar situations.

I would have thought that this was obviously not a discussion of underage sexuality. The story had already made it clear that the characters having the discussion are adult university graduates.

The message instructed me to edit out the section or find a volunteer editor. Since this is my first time writing a story, I'm reluctant to waste a volunteer editor's time.

This is demoralizing.

Maybe the problem was it not being clear that people extend their middle finger as an insult?

 

[astuffedshirt_perv]

Resubmit, with a note stating no one is underage, they are all university graduates. For extra, just say squeaky voice (drop the 13yo).

Don't get demoralized! Seriously, we would rather have the auto-reject fit too tight than too loose.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Yes, delete the thirteen year age reference and resubmit. That's what bounced the story - you're most likely dealing with a text bot scan here, not a human eye.

 

[unwished]

Thank you both for the advice.

Fixing this won’t be as simple as excising the reference to a “thirteen-year-old”. It’s a science fiction story and some pivotal events take place in the characters’ pasts. I was trying to establish part of the timeline of those events. I’ll need to revise things so that characters use phrases like “eleven years ago” instead of “when I was thirteen”.

This part of the story also contained a line that said “since I was sixteen” which did not get flagged. Perhaps I should change that to “for the past eight years.”

Frustrating.

 

[Todger65]

Thank you both for the advice.

Fixing this won’t be as simple as excising the reference to a “thirteen-year-old”. It’s a science fiction story and some pivotal events take place in the characters’ pasts. I was trying to establish part of the timeline of those events. I’ll need to revise things so that characters use phrases like “eleven years ago” instead of “when I was thirteen”.

This part of the story also contained a line that said “since I was sixteen” which did not get flagged. Perhaps I should change that to “for the past eight years.”

Frustrating.

Laurel will only need to spot one instance of an under 18 reference and will reject the complete story. I’m sure a lot of her initial checks are automated, searching for certain words, phrases etc.

You will need to fully review the story and correct all instances where there is the slightest possibility of under age.

 

[jaF0]

["You all are fools. You're just hermit crabs, and she's a volcano. It was said to a bunch of computer-science experts by a thirteen year-old with a squeaky voice and was followed by a middle finger." "You said that to stick up for your sister?" Priti said. "That's so cute."]


That says a 13 year old is describing a girl in what seems to be a sexual manner (a volcano) and using an adult gesture considered profane.



["You all are fools. You're just hermit crabs, and she's a volcano. It was said to a bunch of computer-science experts by one of them with a squeaky voice and was followed by a middle finger." "You said that to stick up for your sister?" Priti said. "That's so cute."]

Works for me.


Age time lime is irrelevant.

 

[jaF0]

Aside from that, are quoted sections that cause rejection now included in notices? I'm not sure I've seen that before in any of these threads.

 

[unwished]

That says a 13 year old is describing a girl in what seems to be a sexual manner (a volcano) and using an adult gesture considered profane.

If that's how things will be interpreted, then that's much worse.

This site is full of stories about “18-year-old” high-school students having sex. But I can’t write about a character whose older sister invented something when he was a teenager over a decade before, without worrying about having every metaphor stripped of all context and misconstrued as sexual?

I think I’m done at the starting line. This was a mistake.

 

[jaF0]

This site is full of stories about “18-year-old” high-school students having sex.

That is 'Lit legal'.

But I can’t write about a character whose older sister invented something when he was a teenager over a decade before, without worrying about having every metaphor stripped of all context and misconstrued as sexual?

Use more careful wording. Your version implied a sexual reference. Something like 'she's a volcano of creativity' would fly. If you're referring to a 'hermit', as somebody who doesn't get out much, leave the crabs out of it.


I may be wrong, but I get the feel that English is not your first language. That creates all sorts of problems here for new writers trying to get used to the filters and rules.

 

[LAHomedog]

Thank you both for the advice.

Fixing this won’t be as simple as excising the reference to a “thirteen-year-old”. It’s a science fiction story and some pivotal events take place in the characters’ pasts. I was trying to establish part of the timeline of those events. I’ll need to revise things so that characters use phrases like “eleven years ago” instead of “when I was thirteen”.

This part of the story also contained a line that said “since I was sixteen” which did not get flagged. Perhaps I should change that to “for the past eight years.”

Frustrating.

I've helped some writers with this kind of issue before. If you send it to me as a PDF via PM I will read it and offer some suggestions including -- hopefully -- how to handle the pivotal events in the past.

(I did this a few weeks ago for another writer also with a Sci-Fi story and it worked out.)