27F - My parents would like me to be part of their marriage. Seeking advice.

[jdc38]

Well since you opened this up for comment and there appears to opinions on both sides I’ll add mine. This seems highly unnatural to me. I’m no conservative prude, but sex among family members just crosses a line. Understand others on the board differ and I respect their views but respectfully disagree.

As for your specific situation, if it does not seem right to you, decline. If they react badly that’s not your issue. It is theirs. If they love you and respect you, they will respect your decision. If they shame you or become angry, they are selfishly using you for their own gratification. That is not good in any relationship.

 

[Muwarr90]

The thing is, my parents know me better than anyone. I’m incredibly close with them; my mom is my best friend. That’s what makes this so, so heavy to consider. They get what a massive request this is to put to me...they know me well enough to know that I would take it seriously and handle it with empathy. That’s why they trusted me with this.

All I can say is that they don't seem to be considering your well being, and are only concerned with their desires. They should try to generate some empathy for you and stop pressuring you.

 

[LekaSveta]

Being in a rather similar position as I am I decided to send you a PM rather than converse on the forums for reasons I explain in the PM. I am more than happy to answer any questions you might have.

 

[bill4672a]

From your initial reaction, it seems that unconsciously you see this as a betrayal of trust. Engaging with them on that level will forever change your relationship to them. You have to make your own choices, but I would advise against.

 

[Sir Victor]

My view is that this is a fetish for some people, clearly it is NOT for you based on
your reaction, and is for them. Their job is to protect you and not take advantage
of you, just say no and go on, do not do it to please them.

 

[EctoJohn]

I suggest you don't do this.
Clearly you've never thought about them in this fashion as they have of you, and seem like you'd be blissfully ignorant of their thoughts if you could be.
You seem like you have a good relationship with your parents already in a standard child/parent way.
If I were you, I wouldn't open this Pandora's Box of possible awkward interactions and hurt feelings if things go wrong.
Ruining your familial relationship isn't worth the possible sexual gratification.

 

[Lysander444]

Jesus Christ on a pogo stick, your parents are crazy and you would be safer in a male prison undergoing a COVID outbreak than with them.

Tell them, empatically and politely, to fuck off and seek some professional help. I hope you are trolling

 

[AloneTooLong]

Please stop for just a bit and IGNORE everything your parents have asked/said. Now, thinking only of what YOU want; do you have any desire for an intimate relationship with either or both of your parents? Yes, maybe, no? You DO NOT owe your parents their happiness/erotica/sexual satisfaction/kinkyness.

 

[Taggy1]

You seem genuine in how you have posed this. It also seems like posing this here - a site that I enjoy very much but is not my first thought of where to go for true therapy or deep advice - may not lead you to the answers you seek.
OTOH, there have been a few very thoughtful and insightful replies already, and I will do my best to offer one as well.

RUN AWAY!

It is incredibly selfish of your parents to put this burden on you. It is clear that you are a responsible daughter that respects and likes your parents, and wants to do what they ask of you. It is also clear that this is a burden for you, that you are not inclined to want it. Listen to those feelings. Honor yourself.

I am not saying that it is not possible in theory to have a mutual and respectful intimate relationship with your parents. Apparently several people on here do. And it is a common fantasy. But it does not seem like it is something you want or should entertain.

I think you are right but I believe she has made the decision to through with it and just wants people to say it’s ok

 

[10169kek]

Please stop for just a bit and IGNORE everything your parents have asked/said. Now, thinking only of what YOU want; do you have any desire for an intimate relationship with either or both of your parents? Yes, maybe, no? You DO NOT owe your parents their happiness/erotica/sexual satisfaction/kinkyness.

Right on point, great advice!

 

[jedclampet69]

No matter age maturity immaturity .. No .. unless it generational it don't work.. it's then becomes filthy on both side not lust

 

[lauraborealis]

Xxxxx

 

[KinkyLaughs]

I think you are right but I believe she has made the decision to through with it and just wants people to say it’s ok

True dat. I believe your right. Which dosen't further the credibility of "her" story in the least. Still, she writes well enough that I'll wait to see how the Story ends...

 

[lovepussy691]

**Edit: I should note that I welcome both comments/input in the thread as well as private messages from anyone who’d like to dig deep and learn about my life and situation, and interview me. We can potentially move to a different platform like Wickr.


Hi everyone. I’m Laura, 27, a girl who typically lives in the Bay Area but who moved back to be with my parents during COVID. I’m dealing with an incredibly difficult situation and I was hoping for some input/advice.

I came back to the Midwest, where I grew up, to get out of California and to help my mom and dad with groceries and errands during the pandemic. I’m the second oldest of four siblings, and the oldest girl, and my parents have always thought of me as the most “together” and mature of their kids...the “sibling in chief,” basically. It’s a role in our family I really value and coming back home during this chaos was sort of an example of me living it out.

It’s honestly been really nice to be at home with them during all this...to be in my childhood home, my old bedroom, eating my mom’s cooking, just being in a safe space while the outside world is a mess, and having my mom and dad’s company - we’ve always been really close.

Apparently, though, my parents want to be close with me in a way that I never anticipated. I was up late talking with my mom over tea this past weekend and we were skirting the topic of sex. We never talk about it explicitly or directly, as close as we are, but as we were in the area of the topic, my mom said something that made my jaw drop: “you know, your dad and I often think of you that way.”


Honestly, it sent me reeling. At first it didn’t even register...I thought I had misunderstood, or was hearing things. But my mom explained that, for a long time, she and my dad have been...”interested” in me. I work as a consultant and it’s my job to hear people out and listen carefully, and with empathy, and that’s what I tried to do with my mom...a lot of nodding, a lot of calmly saying “I understand” and just trying to hear her out. But honestly, it was the hardest conversation of my life, and it only got harder when my mom asked me to consider going to bed with them.

I told her I would think deeply about our conversation. Then I went up to bed and cried myself to sleep. I felt...so confused, so betrayed. I also felt this deep sense of empathy for my parents, to have carried a secret like this for so long, and a strange sense of pride that they trusted me enough to open up about it.

Since that initial conversation with my mom, I’ve sat down with both her and my dad and we’ve talked things out more as parents and daughter. What they’re asking of me is...a lot. I’m trying really, really hard to practice empathy and approach all this with an open mind. It’s been so emotionally intense. I guess I’m posting in the hope of starting a dialogue with people who might want to offer their input. I’m happy to answer questions and dive deeper into our dynamic, our family, and what it is my parents are hoping for. Thank you for listening.

Definite strong NO. You can't ever go back from that. Keep in mind your in a porn board so people aren't always of sober mind. It's almost like asking for an opinion from someone who is drunk. There are a billion people you can have sex with, but only one set of parents. DON'T DO IT.

 

[scorpiobabe]

incest should be for fantasy only IMO

 

[dave's thing]

incest should be for fantasy only IMO

WHY?
Just wondering.
Were anciemt times wrong? Are cultures that allow/encourage it boorish?

 

[Tfnin2010]

For them, it’s about love and intimacy...knowing me at the deepest level possible.

This is a very difficult decision. You are an intelligent rational adult which is why they brought this out to you, and to be truthful with you. Think of what it took your mom to even broach the subject. I am not saying that should have any impact on your decision but your mom loves and trusts you as Im sure your Dad does too. Whatever decision you make will NEVER change their love for you.

One of the replies mentioned how do you feel about them - your parents? or about group sex in general? If your mom and dad were people who lived around the corner would you consider doing it? And what are your views on threesomes, foursomes and moresomes? Would you ever do those situations without love involved or with your partner where there was a lover there with you? Your mom and Dad love you but is that enough? It would be a very emotional rollercoaster ride the first time because of the love the three of you share already.

If you might be attracted to the idea of more than two people sex, what are your boundries? And if you did try it once with your parents, what would be the boundries? IE, kissing, Penetration, voyuer, woman on woman, lots to consider. Is this only for sex with dad or would mom want some one-on-one time with you? Have you ever been with another woman or does that freak you out? Could you handle being with either as the other sat and watched? And could you mentally handle sitting and watching your parents together?

Would you consider just being there in the room as they had sex, maybe sitting to the side watching them one time? Maybe fully clothed or maybe naked? or maybe masturbating while sitting there? This would allow them that one time fantasy into reality without you ever getting involved. That would probably answer your question faster if you could mentally handle it. And you would be giving your parents a memory to build further fantasies in the future without ever getting involved. Or would that bother you knowing that they are fantasizing about you (which you already know they do anyway).

Tough choice!! So many ways this could go right or wrong. Could be a secret every now and again pleasure or it could blow up and ruin the family.

Me, I would personally do the voyuer thing and see if I could handle watching them together naked and having sex. Examine your feelings during that time, and imagine joining them and see if it disturbs you. I would NOT join in the first time. They will probably be looking at you a lot (clothed or naked) because you are their fantasy, but don't let this bother you. No touching, no words, no talking, nothing. Just sit there and watch.. Let them do their thing and if you need to get up and walk away, do it! They will understand. DO NOT JOIN IN or CONSIDER JOINING IN!!!! Afterwards, take a few days for it to digest. Make sure your mom and dad know not to mention it until YOU are ready to talk about it. Eventually, you need to talk to them and explain your feelings, good or bad. Let them know where you stand. Either way, KNOW that they will always be your mom and dad no matter which way you decide.

Good luck and please keep us posted

 

[curious2couple]

intimacies with the parents

OK this is my first ever post here and I am soooooooooooooooo glad to respond to you on this issue. Please do nor interact this way with your parents. It's unbelievable they would even consider having you join them in the bedroom.

You need to think long term here and who you want to see when you look in the mirror.

I have three female children and the thought of something along this makes me want to puke, sorry for being blunt.

I hope you make a decision that keeps you safe and doesn't keep you up at nights or in major therapy.

 

[hulmule]

Who is the sexual driven person , mom or dad? Who do you think started the conversation to the other " Hey honey i was thinking being she is coming home....

 

[anniebaby10]

This is a first for them.

Maybe that is why they wanted to be with someone they trust so much. But I would say no. Sex ruins friendships even without the incest aspect of things. Too many of my girlfriends thought it would be fun to have sex with a guy from work or the husband of a friend. none of those turned out well. Too much guilt, jealousy, and other emotional issues got int the way and things were never the same.

 

[KinkyLaughs]

There have been many Sensitive, measured comments on the thread thus far along with some well thought out advice. I'm quite impressed by this. That said, I hope that the OP is not jerking All of us around. I get the vibe that "she" primarily wants to converse with people through private messages. Hmn. Wank off only--kind of thing?? Also "she" barely says anything in response to the thoughtful comments here. Interesting. "She" needs to keep this shit believable and consistent or step the fuck off.

 

[Wifeismyfantasy]

At least there are people in this thread calling out how truly fucked up this story is if it’s true. I’m thankful for that.

I believe this is a troll post. Way too much ‘empathy’ from someone who should just plainly be mad and freaked out. Still, it was well written. Fucked up though.

 

[honestWithWifie]

If you are doing this because of loyalty - don't.

If you are considering this because you are interested, then I like the suggestion of a honest discussion of a sexual nature. What you like, what they like, etc. If all of you decide to proceed, I would proceed in very small steps so you/they can walk it back.

Day 1 Talking/Kissing - clothed.
Next day discuss how you are feeling - abandon or proceed - no harm done.

Day 2 Talking/Kissing/nudity
Next day discuss how you are feeling - abandon or proceed - no harm done.

Day 3 Talking/Kissing/nudity/self masturbation
Next day discuss how you are feeling - abandon or proceed - no harm done. This is still a point where you can walk it all back.

Day 4 Talking/Kissing/nudity/masturbate - others
Next day discuss how you are feeling - abandon or proceed - no harm done. You are now entering a phase where you cannot easily walk it back.

Day 5 Talking/Kissing/nudity/masturbate, oral sex
Next day discuss how you are feeling - abandon or proceed - no harm done.

Day 6 If you have accomplished all of the above, everybody has slept on it, nobody is too weirded out, everybody is having a great time, I think you can have a mini orgy.

If you can get through a week of discussion, and openly talking about turn-ons, showing how you masturbate, what you like, don't like, who knows?

 

[ScottishLass74]

Once you cross this line there is very little chance of going back to the relationship you've got now. It changes how you view someone, your level of trust
It could also change your relationship with other family members such as siblings. The feelings of guilt, remorse, shame and worse can all surface.
What happens if you start a relationship of your own, can you be truly open and honest with them?
You sound a level headed, intelligent person so think hard, do the pro's out weigh the cons both short term and long term.
Good luck

 

[jehoram]

First off, instead of jumping in bed with them, get comfortable with with just only being nude about each other. Nothing more. Then as time goes by, if it feels right to you and them, maybe start exploring more. But if it doesn't feel right to you, then by all means, decline their offer.

My advice as well. It will lead, at least, to an acknowledgement of seeing them in a different light. If the three of you aren't ready for the intimacy of a nude relationship, you're certainly not ready to join each other in bed.

And, if you're not comfortable with seeing your dad with an partial erection, you'll have your answer.

As a counselor, you already know that communication is vital, so let them know what you're feeling, listen to them when they tell you what they're feeling at each stage of the relationship. It will require an adjustment on all your parts before the subject can be broached honestly.