Alternate Blurting I: Wasteland

[Que]

I bought a Droid X2 weeks before the Droid X2 came out. No one of course selling me this $650 full retail phone bother to tell me that the phone was going to be obsolete in two weeks.

The main Improvement on the Droid X2 was battery charging and battery life. I saw that problem by buying a couple of 3100 milliamp gorilla batteries and I got an ergonomically uncomfortable big humped back for the phone with a new batteries. I use that phone for 4 years just because I'm stubborn.

Not actually that phone of course it's just that every single time I broke the phone I would go out and buy the exact same phone and each and every time I would roll it all the way back to the original Android software and use that because it work better with my Fox Fi app to tether my laptop.

Each time I bought a replacement phone it came with lots of accessories an extra battery or two and cost progressively less each time. I'm not sure that phrase is Right progressively less? Anyway so I you ended up paying $56 for the last few that I bought.

When I finally had to upgrade I was Furious that my FoxFi program would not work until I realized it a modern Android already had the tethering built in and it was included for no extra charge in my unlimited data plan.

Anyway I used to get them off of Craigslist so I would suggest you look there for another phone or wherever the modern hip kids are looking for used crap these days. What bats are not very much money at all you can get the exact phone that you are currently used to.

 

[Que]

Also Lance Armstrong should have been blood doping with rat blood apparently because that's an awful lot of hemoglobin if it's still red after it dries.

 

[Sean]

well, that was a fun, but frustrating half.

Great save on the penalty. And no way is this finishing 0-0

 

[pointless]

there ya go. finally.

 

[CandiCame]

I bought a Droid X2 weeks before the Droid X2 came out. No one of course selling me this $650 full retail phone bother to tell me that the phone was going to be obsolete in two weeks.

The main Improvement on the Droid X2 was battery charging and battery life. I saw that problem by buying a couple of 3100 milliamp gorilla batteries and I got an ergonomically uncomfortable big humped back for the phone with a new batteries. I use that phone for 4 years just because I'm stubborn.

Not actually that phone of course it's just that every single time I broke the phone I would go out and buy the exact same phone and each and every time I would roll it all the way back to the original Android software and use that because it work better with my Fox Fi app to tether my laptop.

Each time I bought a replacement phone it came with lots of accessories an extra battery or two and cost progressively less each time. I'm not sure that phrase is Right progressively less? Anyway so I you ended up paying $56 for the last few that I bought.

When I finally had to upgrade I was Furious that my FoxFi program would not work until I realized it a modern Android already had the tethering built in and it was included for no extra charge in my unlimited data plan.

Anyway I used to get them off of Craigslist so I would suggest you look there for another phone or wherever the modern hip kids are looking for used crap these days. What bats are not very much money at all you can get the exact phone that you are currently used to.

I actually just do that thing where I've from a big family so I just put the word out like, "Hey I fucked up my phone" and then eventually somebody gives me one. That's slut privilege but you gotta be slutty for several generations before it kicks in. Then you gotta factory wipe it so you don't see your aunty's nudes and get traumatized.

Forgot to do that when I gave my old phone to my baby brother and that's how he found out I was into guys. That was... not a good thing to forget.

 

[pointless]

that was a bit too cute.

 

[CandiCame]

Also Lance Armstrong should have been blood doping with rat blood apparently because that's an awful lot of hemoglobin if it's still red after it dries.

I love how everyone's playing amateur CSI like they think I'm gonna come in like, "I made up a story about finding a dead rat".

Not like a cool story, but the one where I admitted I was infested with vermin.

Like there was such an obvious direction to drag me on that story but y'all went with the "It's probably not blood, what an asshole" instead of "Candi is infested with vermin".

I appreciate a good roast, but do it right.

 

[pointless]

i'm beginning that's intentional, koolaid kid.

 

[butters]

I also thought it might be kool-air, wine, or those fucking energy drinks my brother drinks, but I actually have an update.

It was blood, and I found the source.

One of the cats killed a rat there, and for some inexplicable reason threw the corpse behind the dryer. I discovered this because it turns out if you leave a corpse just sitting out overnight, you can no longer ignore it because the smell will knock you down.

So I had to drag both the washer and the dryer out and clean out from behind it. Bitching feverishly the entire time.

Then I went to Captain, because I couldn't find Seuss, and I bitched him out over it because honestly like what the fuck? He, being a cat, did not give a single shit. Didn't care at all that I was pissed. 100% would do it again. Just looked at me like, "Are you still on about THAT? That was like, years ago. I'm more into laying on the porch these days."

Asshole.

to be fair, candi, you didn't post the rat story till after we all said it didn't look like blood. and if even you thought so too for a while...?

as for your cat, well, duh he killed it. doesn't mean to say he wanted to eat it you're in the countryside, getting a rat or mouse every now and again isn't the end of the world.

I need a new phone. I dropped this one in the bathtub and now it's all kinds of fucked up. I did the rice thing, hoping that would fix it, but it didn't.

The most annoying thing is that if you get an alert from an app, it'll play the sound even if you currently have the app open. And I set it to the "A wild pokemon has appeared" sound. So if you're talking to somebody every single message they send it makes that noise. I can't get it to stop. I turned notifications off. I changed the sound. But it's fucked. And every time I bitch about it being fucked my gf is like, "Yeah, you broke it."

I'm in a long-distance relationship. My man lives in another city. You can't sext like that.

"I'm gonna suck your dick"
"Yeah I'm gonna shove my cock down your throat"-A WILD POKEMON HAS APPEARED-
"I'm gonna rip your hair out" -A WILD POKEMON HAS APPEARED-
"I wanna feel you choke" -A WILD POKEMON HAS APPEARED-

I love you, babe but I can't jack off to this. It's not happening. I'm in the tall grass. I appreciate it but it ain't happening.

you need to be writing comedy scripts for tv. srsly.

..
Nope

oh ye of little faith

 

[CandiCame]

to be fair, candi, you didn't post the rat story till after we all said it didn't look like blood. and if even you thought so too for a while...?

as for your cat, well, duh he killed it. doesn't mean to say he wanted to eat it you're in the countryside, getting a rat or mouse every now and again isn't the end of the world.
you need to be writing comedy scripts for tv. srsly.


oh ye of little faith

"To be fair" I didn't post anything until I got on Lit again. I can't help what anybody says when I'm not here.

Maybe I should have taken a pic of the rat corpse and y'all could compare notes. But I didn't so it is what it is.

Thanks. That's how I live though. It's not somuch funny as it is aggravating.

 

[Que]

I love how everyone's playing amateur CSI like they think I'm gonna come in like, "I made up a story about finding a dead rat".

Not like a cool story, but the one where I admitted I was infested with vermin.

Like there was such an obvious direction to drag me on that story but y'all went with the "It's probably not blood, what an asshole" instead of "Candi is infested with vermin".

I appreciate a good roast, but do it right.

Naw, I was serious. I've seen human blood but I don't know so much about other animals. Like I don't really think that what you see in a meat tray is actually blood so much as just blood-tinged water. I've killed a rodent or two in my time but I never sat around and watched the blood dry but it does sound like an interesting CSI episode.

You don't know how glad I am to have you back. It makes my posts look like an economy of words. . .

 

[pointless]

that was a good game, but now it's time for mst3k.

 

[CandiCame]

Naw, I was serious. I've seen human blood but I don't know so much about other animals. Like I don't really think that what you see in a meat tray is actually blood so much as just blood-tinged water. I've killed a rodent or two in my time but I never sat around and watched the blood dry but it does sound like an interesting CSI episode.

You don't know how glad I am to have you back. It makes my posts look like any economy of words. . .

I'm only here until people stop telling me they love me.

 

[Que]

I'm only here until people stop telling me they love me.

Same!

They don't all say the words, but I can definitely feel it..

"My fans; they are devoted." Patrick Swayze as Dalton in Roadhouse

 

[adrina]

Saturday morning.

 

[Saint Peter]

Today I shall kill more green things.

It is what warm weather weekends are all about.

 

[Sean]

Today I shall kill more green things.

It is what warm weather weekends are all about.

Pissing down here, so no grass cutting. If it stops for half an hour I'll run the massive pile of cardboard that's accumulated down to the tip.

And my car passed its MoT retest, so I'm a happy bunny.

 

[adrina]

I cut a bouquet of flowers.

 

[raindancer]

After so much rain, the grass is plush. I hate to cut it. But, the weather is fabulous. I will be riding after a new sparkplug is installed. Weeeeee! Low humidity and blue skies!

 

[Sean]

Marina Hyde is a fucking legend.

One pantingly auto-parodic article in the Boris fanzine, the Daily Telegraph, decided the runaway favourite looked like “a prime minister in waiting”. So close, but not quite. Johnson looks like Chucky if he’d borrowed a suit for a court appearance, or a Yewtree version of Worzel Gummidge, or what would happen if you started making Margaret Rutherford out of papier-mache but got bored halfway through. This week amounted to watching the live abortion of that time-worn cliche that the Conservative parliamentary party is “the most sophisticated electorate in the world”. Do me a favour. They’ve just spaffed 114 first-round votes on a subclinical narcissist whose chief qualification for the gig is knowing the ancient Greek for raghead.

https://www.theguardian.com/comment...he-howard-hughes-of-this-tory-leadership-race

 

[Saint Peter]

The small mower needs a new spark plug.

I might get that done in the next few years.




Probably not.

 

[raindancer]

My old mower needs a junkyard.

 

[Saint Peter]

A brand new john deere rider on a delivery truck just rolled down my street.

Should I midnight auto it for you?

 

[raindancer]

I will give you a good handy if you auto that ride!

 

[oralaccents]

I will give you a good handy if you auto that ride!

I think you're perhaps the most lusciously naturally erotic women here.