How To Get To Heaven When You Die

[HelpImLost]

That's not very Christian of you.

Handle demons harshly

White-knighting? Me? Lol. i wasn't defending him, I was pointing out your hypocrisy.

"He did it first" isn't much of an excuse, and its even worse from somebody who claims to follow a man who quite plainly said "Turn the other cheek."

Like I am about to do, vis your insult to me. Strike at me again, if you must.

Yes, please do already turn the other cheek. Getting followed around by you demons and cuckolds is starting to lose its entertainment. Oops, I struck again.

 

[Kirkrapine]

Handle demons harshly

Do not call up any you cannot again put down.

 

[von_Bismarck]

Handle demons harshly

I'm not convinced you could handle my demon.

 

[Tryharder62]

That's not really related to what I asked though, is it?

You say you try to avoid sin, but then still go and do all those things from Leviticus that are listed as being against gods law. So, I ask again, if Jesus himself said, (as you yourself posted), "Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. " why do modern Christians not follow those Laws?

He explains it Better!

This: vVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVv

https://youtu.be/W2pk8SkrYyY

 

[HelpImLost]

and I can see there's no loyalty here! Fellow Christians, you're always letting these nasty men jump me! You stand by while I'm crucified like our Savior was on the cross!

http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/how-dare-u.gif

 

[von_Bismarck]

and I can see there's no loyalty here! Fellow Christians, you're always letting these nasty men jump me! You stand by while I'm crucified like our Savior was on the cross!

http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/how-dare-u.gif

Comparing yourself to Our Lord and Savior?

Blasphemy!

 

[CandiCame]

I must admit that if I were in a position where teenage girls assisted me in worship services and looked on me as God, I would have a hard time keeping my hands off them.

Mostly it's not girls, it's boys -- well, if you're Catholic and gay, the priesthood must look like an attractive calling; it will relieve you of all social pressure to marry. I think the offending priests are probably not so much pedos as simply gay, and with more influence over boys than men.

That's not how being gay works.

If you're catholic and gay you'd be way more likely to jack off to Jesus than the chior boys. That dude was fucking ripped. Look at any painting... those chiseled abs... I'm not saying I'd wanna lick the blood off...

But I would ten thousand times rather do that than fuck a child. Being gay doesn't make you a fucking monster. Like... pull back. This is the kinda stuff that'll make someone pull your tongue out through your teeth.

 

[CandiCame]

He explains it Better!

This: vVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVv

https://youtu.be/W2pk8SkrYyY

You're doing that thing again where someone points out something from the text and you point them toward a fallible human person to teach them how to ignore the word of god in favor of a false prophet.

 

[Tryharder62]

You're doing that thing again where someone points out something from the text and you point them toward a fallible human person to teach them how to ignore the word of god in favor of a false prophet.

No...I am giving you the verses he quoted. When I give verses, you point me toward a fallible human who teaches how to ignore the word of God. You! I don't think you realize how much of your arguments are your opinion that you voice as fact.

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

and I can see there's no loyalty here! Fellow Christians, you're always letting these nasty men jump me! You stand by while I'm crucified like our Savior was on the cross!

http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/how-dare-u.gif

I have been here defending the faith also. I have let you make your own points and I have made mine with others.

 

[Kirkrapine]

That's not how being gay works.

If you're catholic and gay you'd be way more likely to jack off to Jesus than the chior boys. That dude was fucking ripped. Look at any painting... those chiseled abs... I'm not saying I'd wanna lick the blood off...

Carpenter, you know.

But I would ten thousand times rather do that than fuck a child. Being gay doesn't make you a fucking monster. Like... pull back. This is the kinda stuff that'll make someone pull your tongue out through your teeth.

I[Discussions promoting and/or accusations involving underage sexual activity prohibited per our forum guidelines. - Last Warning]

 

[HelpImLost]

I would fuck teenage girls if I could, down to the age of 15. (How can anyone who was ever a Traci Lords fan feel otherwise?) That doesn't make me a monster. Ephebephilia != pedophilia. And most of these priests' victims appear to have been post-pubescent.

https://media1.tenor.com/images/534fb1bfb412e8a13d6302b786488f51/tenor.gif?itemid=5149381

 

[von_Bismarck]

https://media1.tenor.com/images/534fb1bfb412e8a13d6302b786488f51/tenor.gif?itemid=5149381

STFU, blasphemer.

 

[Kirkrapine]

https://media1.tenor.com/images/534fb1bfb412e8a13d6302b786488f51/tenor.gif?itemid=5149381

What, weren't you ever a Traci Lords fan?!

 

[Super-Surprise]

Personally I do not like to be cold, so I'm hoping for an eternally warm hell.

It will probably be much more fun than heaven anyway.

"Only the Good Die Young!"

 

[Super-Surprise]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2t-SBaL9mNs&index=15&list=FLgrnzAjm5tWGHhJLaJ1i-dA&t=0s

 

[Tryharder62]

Personally I do not like to be cold, so I'm hoping for an eternally warm hell.

It will probably be much more fun than heaven anyway.

"Only the Good Die Young!"

I'll get you a mermaid blanket to keep you warm in heaven. Come with me!!!

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51ZOVOKeIQL._AA320_.jpg

How do singers like Billy Joel do it? I can't walk and sing at the same time or I am out of breath. That guy must lose 10 lbs a concert moving all over the place and still sings awesome.

 

[Super-Surprise]

I'll get you a mermaid blanket to keep you warm in heaven. Come with me!!!

It's a deal!

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51ZOVOKeIQL._AA320_.jpg

How do singers like Billy Joel do it? I can't walk and sing at the same time or I am out of breath. That guy must lose 10 lbs a concert moving all over the place and still sings awesome.

He was still very young when this performance was taped.

 

[CandiCame]

No...I am giving you the verses he quoted. When I give verses, you point me toward a fallible human who teaches how to ignore the word of God. You! I don't think you realize how much of your arguments are your opinion that you voice as fact.

I'm not making any arguments. That accusation is extremely annoying. I've never made a single argument. It's not my fault that you want to pretend that you don't know the difference between a fact and an opinion, or that you think that stating what text says with absolutely no spin is somehow an "argument".

It really, really bothers me when people won't admit that objective reality, objective truth is a thing. There has to be a basis where we both look at something and that thing exists. You're refusing to do that.

Someone will tell you, not just me, but lots of people, what this book says. And they will be correct, in that what they say IS what the text says, if you spoke it in a contemporary tongue. They're not making that up. They're not making an argument. They're restating the text.

Then you will respond with a link to some preacher or something and say, "No, but it says that, but it MEANS this, because bullshit that this guy made up so that I can pretend it doesn't REALLY say that."

When you CHANGE it, you're making an argument. When you just state what it already says, you're just stating a fact. You're the one who is making changes.

To the point that the OTHER CHRISTIANS are calling you out. There are people out here raising their kids the way that god told them to, according to the text. Because that's what it SAYS. That's not an interpretation, that's what it says. YOU are finding preachers who will tell you what you want to hear, and then pretending that people are arguing with you when they tell you, "That's not what it says though, look at it."

BECAUSE THAT'S NOT WHAT IT SAYS THOUGH.

And when people point that out to you, instead of just admitting that you were wrong, because you were OBJECTIVELY- not subjectively, objectively, empirically, proven to be wrong based on the text-

You link to another doublethink preacher who will tell you what you want to hear.

I don't know if you really are just indoctrinated so hard that you've lost the concept that there is a real reality, outside your head- because I have seen that happen to people, especially people who converted during a really trying time, so this is now part of their self-identity and they can't break out of it, and they feel anything that deviates from what their preconceived notion of their religion is, even if that deviation is the word of god, as an attack.

Or if you're just trying to aggravate the shit out of everyone by being difficult.

But I have been trained on how to look at texts objectively- again, I would go in front of any IRB, including a seminal one, to prove it to you. You are wrong about me interpreting. I am /teaching/ but using contemporary language, but I'm not altering the text in either the word or the spirit.

If you took an actual bible as literature class, if you actually studied this, with other people who knew what they were talking about, like me, who had read the second-tier canon and a bunch of different translations, etc- you would not be acknowledged. Because you are objectively wrong about a lot of this stuff. And that's fine, if that's how you want to live your life, but you can't argue with people who know what they're talking about and expect them to see anything but a difficult child.

You have a lens that you want to look through. You need to acknowledge that. You want God to be a good person, who gives good advice, and who loves you. You want that to be true. If you don't read anything else, just stop, take that in, and acknowledge that.

That means that you have a bias. You're taking what you think is morally good, like not beating children or not punishing kids for what their parents do, and you're attributing those attitudes to god, because you want god to be good. You will do anything in your power to make god the good guy in your head.

That lens is preventing you from thinking practically and critically about what you're reading. Because you've come in with an agenda. And coming in with an agenda to ANY text is going to make it difficult to understand objectively.

And then you're rejecting evidence, like the text itself and historical sources, that won't paint the picture you want, and accepting things like preachers who will tell you what you want to hear. That's a self-serving bias that makes it really easy to believe things that aren't true just because they're what you want to hear.

And it's so obvious to everyone that that's what you're doing, and it's aggravating.

You wouldn't be willing to prove that you're reading objectively- I've said I would three times and you've not said it once- because you know this to be true. Because this isn't a book to you, it's part of your identity. And if it turns out to be a collection of legends that were canonized in the 15th century from several dissperant sources and not a cohesive, true history of god's chosen people, it will mean that you built part of your identity on a lie.

I've never been through that. I read this book as a kid and was like, "Oh, this reads exactly like a storybook. It's probably a storybook." Because I didn't go in with a bias. As a result, I actually really liked it as a book, and decided to study it. I found the history behind it, I found the legends that were pulled from during the canonization process. It's a good book.

But it's a fairytale. And people like you, who want it to say what they want it to say and not what it actually says, are the very reason that some of those really good stories, like the detailed account of the demonic rebellion, were left on the cutting room floor. Because parts of the bible were cut- you know that right?

But other people in this thread HAVE gone through that. They have had to deal with actually believing this, realizing slowly that god was, if anything, the villain of the story, then realizing that it just... was a collection of legends that were canonized into a semi-cohesive narrative.

At it's core, that doesn't even mean that it isn't a true story. It just means that it's been fucked with so much for so long that it's impossible to trace it to one source. A lot of legends have a kernel of truth.

But this book, as it exists today, does exist. It's not an argument to point to what it says and read it. It's an argument to listen to preachers who have an agenda instead of the text itself or scholars who have been trained to look at it objectively. Preconceived biases are BAD for objective understanding.

 

[CandiCame]

I'll get you a mermaid blanket to keep you warm in heaven. Come with me!!!

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51ZOVOKeIQL._AA320_.jpg

How do singers like Billy Joel do it? I can't walk and sing at the same time or I am out of breath. That guy must lose 10 lbs a concert moving all over the place and still sings awesome.

Those take a pretty good while to make, but they're super cute. The crochet up faster than they knit.

 

[Kirkrapine]

Those take a pretty good while to make, but they're super cute. The crochet up faster than they knit.

What's the difference? Serious question.

 

[CandiCame]

What's the difference? Serious question.

I didn't think it wasn't a serious question and am actually in the middle of a knitting crisis so this is a great topic for me.

So they're two different things. Knitting was originally created to make big swabs of fabric, and crochet was originally created to make intriquate lace. Knitting is easy if you stick to the basics, like a repeating pattern for this tail, but it takes a long-ass time, because the process wasn't MEANT to create intricate patterns like what I think is a bubble or weave stitch on that. You're constantly crossing yarn back and forth and doing a bunch of math and keeping track of shit.

Crocheting, being witchcraft, is always going to be difficult. You go into it with that mindset. But once you get the pattern down, it's usually repeated for every lace hoop- and the tails are crochet in the round, so you join your rows instead of... doing the black magic that is turning a row where you have to actually summon a demon each and every time to help you. Crocheting is fucking hard. BUT lacework like that, which is what it is at it's core, done with chunky yarn on big-ass needles, like a 10 or above- fucking FLIES. I mean, it is a HUGE difference. Like you can make a blanket that would take a year to knit in a week. It scared the living shit out of me the first time I did it. I thought I ha a superpower that I had awakened. But it turns out that the different method just works like that.

So if you have an easy repeated stitch pattern, you just... you just watch it appear. You watch string turn into things. You don't know how you're doing it, just that this is happen, because it's magic. With knitting you know every stitch you make. With crochet it just... it just is magic. That's the only way I can describe it. Just better be goddamn SURE you got your pattern right because frogging that and going back is a shot in the dark every single time. I've left errors in shit just because I didn't know how to unfuck it, and every youtube video I watched was apparently spoken in infernal, so I just let them have errors.

It's so fast. Crocheting is so fast... I can make a hat in one night. While watching TV. Not even thinking about it. I get a hook and a string and then I look down and I have a hat. How? Hell if I know! But it's there!

I still knit the fins, because crochet is an unknowable dark art and I can't get them to look the same. I can't crochet arms either. Anything that has to be symmetrical is impossible unless you're a level 20 sorcerer.

Here's how to make those. Your kids will hop around in them and hurt themselves, so... you can enjoy that.

As far as I can tell it really is an unknowable mystery why crocheting is so much faster, because it's not a little bit faster, it's fucking insane. There are FIVE HOUR AFGHANS that you can crochet. What the everloving fuck? "Well we're gonna binge a TV show this weekend, but I'm a little cold- oh look I have a blanket now. Nevermind. I'm magic."

Because they're so different, if you're not bicraftal like I am, since that's genuinely how I live every aspect of my life, there are some fierce debate in the textile art community. People get mad. They write articles about why the other side can go fuck themselves. It's pretty funny and I THINK done mostly in jest, but on the internet you never know.

 

[CandiCame]

I was getting ready this morning, listening to music like I do, and I heard this and thought I should share it with this thread.

 

[Tryharder62]

I was getting ready this morning, listening to music like I do, and I heard this and thought I should share it with this thread.

I am responding to your larger post, a few back, but didn't quote it. I am equally frustrated. I give you evidence from the scriptures, in context, and historically applicable, and you give me...." you don't know how to read right." I give you quotes from scholars who do nothing but study this and you respond....." I know how to read right, you don't."

I tried to learn how to crochet. My grandmother made beautiful things. My first thing was a scarf. I couldn't figure out how to end a row and my scarf got thinner and thinner.

Ah, I listened to your song. Made me thing of one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26nJjNDsbmk

 

[Tryharder62]

Oops on trying to do this on my phone. Extra post