Oral Servitude 3

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Of all the blowjobs I've received, I'm ashamed to say I do not remember the footwear. I am so flawed.:(
 
I don't especially enjoy receiving oral. I've pondered this dilemma many times because I always get asked WTF - WHY???

Part of it might be mental. Just lying back and letting someone do stuff in the hopes I'll cum or squirt or have some pre-expected response feels burdensome.

I know. I know. I KNOW.

Sounds dumb as I write it.

But I don't cum easily. It's like it's his tongue MUST bring me the holy orgasm grail and if I don't cum, the whole entire thing is a failure. I've had to tap out and that just brings on a heap of self doubt for us both.

It'slLike when I'm on a diet and eat two oreos - the whole thing is fucked. Might as well eat all of 'em. Wait. Not exactly like that.

It's really hard for me to let go.

Plus. The tongue. For me, it's not the most friendly feeling. Eely or snaily or something. I love to kiss. (I think. It's been a while since I've had that kind of kiss) I like licks and stuff. Just not on my clam.

So - to answer the question. My favorite position would be to be blindfolded. Tied down tight so no squirming, moving. Let's see what happens from there.

Probably stating the obvious here, but I feel it needs saying. We all like certain things, and others not so much, and there’s nothing wrong with that. From my perspective when I am lovingly exploring a woman’s body with my mouth (or hands and fingers for that matter), the “goal” has already been met. It is just really fun, and sexy, and deeply intimate to be able to kiss and lick every delicious bit of the woman I love...no further expectations on my part at all.

Obviously I love it when she cums, for many reasons, but I also just love to lick, and play, and tease, etc etc etc. It can be done as a bit of a “gift” for either partner, but sometimes it’s just that I REALLY want to taste her then and there. If she wants more, I am always happy to go down on her for extended times, or “finish the job”; but sometimes her orgasm might be along ways off, or she’s more interested in moving on to other activities, and that’s all good too! Anytime it starts feeling like there are expectations, or specific goals (real or perceived) it puts a real damper on things for both. I would bet that a good number of men would continue to go down on a woman long after she’s lost interest in the hopes/expectations of making her cum, or not wanting to disappoint her...unless he’s given clear signals that something else was wanted more at that point.
 
I don't especially enjoy receiving oral. I've pondered this dilemma many times because I always get asked WTF - WHY???

Part of it might be mental. Just lying back and letting someone do stuff in the hopes I'll cum or squirt or have some pre-expected response feels burdensome.

I know. I know. I KNOW.

Sounds dumb as I write it.

But I don't cum easily. It's like it's his tongue MUST bring me the holy orgasm grail and if I don't cum, the whole entire thing is a failure. I've had to tap out and that just brings on a heap of self doubt for us both.

It'slLike when I'm on a diet and eat two oreos - the whole thing is fucked. Might as well eat all of 'em. Wait. Not exactly like that.

It's really hard for me to let go.

Plus. The tongue. For me, it's not the most friendly feeling. Eely or snaily or something. I love to kiss. (I think. It's been a while since I've had that kind of kiss) I like licks and stuff. Just not on my clam.

So - to answer the question. My favorite position would be to be blindfolded. Tied down tight so no squirming, moving. Let's see what happens from there.

The human mind is a fickle, illogical thing...and this applies to all of us.

When my wife first met she was very upfront and let me know that she finds cunnilingus "vial and disgusting", sighting menstruation and other biological activity that takes place within the female anatomy.

But much to my surprise, and pleasure, she informed me of her desire for anal sex including intercourse, toys, fingers as well as analingous. All of these be she top or bottom. I didn't question her logic but just went with the flow.

She does enjoy intercourse, masturbation, toys and other activities that bring her sexual gratification along with numerous other sexual activities.

My point being that some attitudes are not worth trying to understand. We should simply enjoy whatever puts a smile on our face.
 
White heels gets nice cock. Too bad I gave my heels away to a cute CD last year.....waaaaaaaaaa.

Your logic is flawed. I do just fine without them.
I’d like to see your evidence based research on this, please. :cattail:
 
I don't especially enjoy receiving oral. I've pondered this dilemma many times because I always get asked WTF - WHY???

Part of it might be mental. Just lying back and letting someone do stuff in the hopes I'll cum or squirt or have some pre-expected response feels burdensome.

I know. I know. I KNOW.

Sounds dumb as I write it.

But I don't cum easily. It's like it's his tongue MUST bring me the holy orgasm grail and if I don't cum, the whole entire thing is a failure. I've had to tap out and that just brings on a heap of self doubt for us both.

It'slLike when I'm on a diet and eat two oreos - the whole thing is fucked. Might as well eat all of 'em. Wait. Not exactly like that.

It's really hard for me to let go.

Plus. The tongue. For me, it's not the most friendly feeling. Eely or snaily or something. I love to kiss. (I think. It's been a while since I've had that kind of kiss) I like licks and stuff. Just not on my clam.

So - to answer the question. My favorite position would be to be blindfolded. Tied down tight so no squirming, moving. Let's see what happens from there.
so is it that you get self conscious or under pressure that you must cum from oral? Because I do not think that always happens and I think a woman would enjoy it much more if she could relax, enjoy and have a partner that does not need her to come as long as she is enjoying it.
 
so is it that you get self conscious or under pressure that you must cum from oral? Because I do not think that always happens and I think a woman would enjoy it much more if she could relax, enjoy and have a partner that does not need her to come as long as she is enjoying it.

I don’t always cum from oral, but I always love it. I agree.

I’ve heard a few women who identify as submissive having issues with it. I don’t know if that is coincidence, or if it is something related.
I remember a female poster saying something like she didn’t feel worthy of it. That she should be pleasing him.
 
I don't especially enjoy receiving oral. I've pondered this dilemma many times because I always get asked WTF - WHY???

Part of it might be mental. Just lying back and letting someone do stuff in the hopes I'll cum or squirt or have some pre-expected response feels burdensome.

I know. I know. I KNOW.

Sounds dumb as I write it.

But I don't cum easily. It's like it's his tongue MUST bring me the holy orgasm grail and if I don't cum, the whole entire thing is a failure. I've had to tap out and that just brings on a heap of self doubt for us both.

It'slLike when I'm on a diet and eat two oreos - the whole thing is fucked. Might as well eat all of 'em. Wait. Not exactly like that.

It's really hard for me to let go.

Plus. The tongue. For me, it's not the most friendly feeling. Eely or snaily or something. I love to kiss. (I think. It's been a while since I've had that kind of kiss) I like licks and stuff. Just not on my clam.

So - to answer the question. My favorite position would be to be blindfolded. Tied down tight so no squirming, moving. Let's see what happens from there.

While I like oral, I just really can't cum from it. I also have gotten the WTF? response - just as there are some men who can't cum from it, some women can't either BUT this does not mean it can't be enjoyed for itself. An orgasm shouldn't be the total goal ... just have fun, enjoy, revel in it I guess?
 
While I like oral, I just really can't cum from it. I also have gotten the WTF? response - just as there are some men who can't cum from it, some women can't either BUT this does not mean it can't be enjoyed for itself. An orgasm shouldn't be the total goal ... just have fun, enjoy, revel in it I guess?

Yeah, I agree. It all feel good. :cattail:
 
While I like oral, I just really can't cum from it. I also have gotten the WTF? response - just as there are some men who can't cum from it, some women can't either BUT this does not mean it can't be enjoyed for itself. An orgasm shouldn't be the total goal ... just have fun, enjoy, revel in it I guess?

Yeah, I agree. It all feel good. :cattail:

I agree with both of you. I have always thought of giving oral to a woman as part of a long foreplay which may or may not turn to intercourse but is mutually arousing and enjoyable.
 
While I like oral, I just really can't cum from it. I also have gotten the WTF? response - just as there are some men who can't cum from it, some women can't either BUT this does not mean it can't be enjoyed for itself. An orgasm shouldn't be the total goal ... just have fun, enjoy, revel in it I guess?

I agree with this. Climaxing from oral can be difficult, but it's just one ride in the amusement park. Spend some time, try a few of the other rides. We're in no rush!
 
Yeah. Not just a chick thing. I've had a lot of oral over the last 50 years or so;), and I can count the orgasms on my fingers. I put a ridiculous amount of pressure on myself, which is, of course, counterproductive, but there it is. The upside is, premature ejaculation has never been a problem.:)
 
I don’t always cum from oral, but I always love it. I agree.

I’ve heard a few women who identify as submissive having issues with it. I don’t know if that is coincidence, or if it is something related.
I remember a female poster saying something like she didn’t feel worthy of it. That she should be pleasing him.

I think...and it's usually a dangerous thing when I do....but IMHO the focus shouldn't really be on the climax if this is an issue rather than finding mutual pleasures that stimulate each other. I would never question why a woman can't orgasm from oral in a derogatory way but more in an exploratory way to learn more about her body and what ignites her to her orgasms. I will say I love licking pussy so I hope there is some pleasure gained in doing so. There is something very pleasurable for me to force a partners legs open and taking their cunt with my mouth and fingers....but i can appreciate and respect those that may not enjoy it and not think any less of them. Again....it's finding those mutual pleasures along the way that I find deepens things into a more intimate dynamic between two people regardless of their lifestyle choices.
 
Sounds dumb as I write it.

But I don't cum easily. It's like it's his tongue MUST bring me the holy orgasm grail and if I don't cum, the whole entire thing is a failure. I've had to tap out and that just brings on a heap of self doubt for us both.

It's really hard for me to let go.

So - to answer the question. My favorite position would be to be blindfolded. Tied down tight so no squirming, moving. Let's see what happens from there.

A. Your perspective isn’t dumb, and neither are you for sharing it. You are you, plain and simple. Like what you like, feel how you feel, and anyone that would attempt to tell you you’re wrong for expressing either of those, can go fuck themselves.

B. As others have mentioned, putting pressure on yourself to perform a certain way ( regardless of position or dynamic ) only serves to set yourself up for failure if it doesn’t live up to standards that can range from uncomfortably high, to flat out unrealistic for you. There’s definitely something to be said for testing comfort zones and exploring uncharted territory, that’s a huge part of what BDSM is and what makes it so diverse.

You know the other side of servitude, serving. You said so yourself, you have trouble letting go and being served. These are deep seated and complex thoughts with multiple layers that require a lot of effort to marry in your head so that you could let go and escape those old ghosts of the trepidation you had instilled by former bad experiences.

C. I swear to Christ, you better not still be drinking that P. Diddy vodka :D

I don’t always cum from oral, but I always love it. I agree.

I’ve heard a few women who identify as submissive having issues with it. I don’t know if that is coincidence, or if it is something related.
I remember a female poster saying something like she didn’t feel worthy of it. That she should be pleasing him.

I remember seeing that come up a couple of times as well Cutey, and I think a big part of that has to do with ideas people have about labels and dynamics in general. Obviously, I wouldn’t claim to speak for everyone, nor is this pointed. Merely my observations since joining.

All the evidence is over in the Talk forum. People come in left and right, asking strangers to tell them what they are based on very little info, and then wrestle with fitting themselves into a preconceived notion of what a sub or Dom is. Lots of bullshit terms like “ true sub “ pop up in there all the time, and I see people basing their opinions on bastardized lists of what’s acceptable behavior to prove you are what you claim to be, put together by jerkoffs who aren’t fit to “ Dom “ belly button lint, let alone a whole person.

“ You most only ever give and be used “, “you don’t get to say no “, “ I’ll tell you what you want “, blah blah fucking blah. This horseshit, coupled with previous bad experiences with insecure or stunted partners that like to point fingers and place blame for their flaccid inadequacies, are what seem to be the most common reason for this way of thinking. Point being, and I’ve said this a million times, don’t try to fit yourself into someone else’s idea of what something is, just because it already exists. We are each far more complicated and require our own time and routes to reach our own conclusions about what we are. Being served and serving are two sides of the same coin, and no one is less for doing either regardless of what they identify as. If you belong to someone, you are just as worthy of praise and worship as them, they chose you for a reason. If you have found your little fuck toy and want to make sure they know that they are not only yours, but also worth every second of your attention, don’t shy away from expressing it.

If I pin you down, cut your panties off of you, and tell you to spread your legs for me, I’m not thinking about whether or not anyone thinks fucking anything about me or what I’m doing. I want it, and I’m going to have it, because I need it just as much as you do. So, regardless of whether or not you cum from this or from what I’m going to do to you next, you will know just how worthy you are.
Won’t you.
 
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