How to define sexual addiction?

[Hipshot1554]

I searched for a thread on this topic, but couldn't find one.

Recently there have been quite a few things on TV dealing with this subject. Some were TV movies, and some were about real people's experiences.

It seems there are big differences in perception. Where do you think the line is between addiction and just being really sexually active?

I think the term is used too broadly.

 

[pplwatching]

It seems there are big differences in perception. Where do you think the line is between addiction and just being really sexually active

Textbook definitions aside, I think that it's important to look at context and how sexual behavior affects both the person and their partners (if any). If sex is about craving an increasingly elusive thrill, high, endorphin rush, or whatever term the person in question might call it then it could be an addiction in practical terms (even if a professional might not call it that).

Sex is one of those topics where people have a vested interest in controlling the dialogue. If you can call a behavior addictive, then you can potentially control people's behavior by citing all of the negative things about it. What is the difference between someone who likes to watch porn and masturbate before they go to sleep at night, someone who likes frequent one night stands, or someone who prefers to pay for sex, or someone who really just loves to fuck? What makes any of those behaviors healthy for one person, and unhealthy or addiction for another? If the behavior itself can be labelled as unhealthy based on some political or social agenda, then it's easier to "justify" telling people what to do.

I think that the answer is in the individuals circumstances, which is something that is very difficult to know. Someone who loves sex and wants it every night might also be a vibrant person with a full life, a great job, and who skips sex at appropriate times. Someone else who loves sex might be unable to form close personal relationships, make it to work on time, or take on any personal responsibility because sex always comes first. I think it's reasonable to say that if sex interferes with someone's job, personal relationships, or life in general then it is at the very least unhealthy whether or not it is technically an addiction. If it makes them take risks, makes them feel bad or depressed afterwards, or really isn't gratifying then maybe it's an addiction.

It's an interesting topic, certainly. I have seen the "your brain on porn" talks and web sites, and read a little bit about sexual addiction. I understand the "thinking" and "logic" in play, but I also understand why there is a textbook medical definition of addiction.

 

[Athalia]

The only definition of "addiction" that makes sense to me is the one that points out the self-destructive aspect of an otherwise pleasurable activity. If that self-destructiveness begins to take its toll on a person's financial situation, ability to form lasting relationships, or do their job, it becomes an addiction. In that respect, sex is no different than gambling, drugs, or other compulsive activities.

The hallmark of such addictions is that the victim doesn't see them as problems, or finds ways to rationalize them or accommodate them. That's why it's important for friends, relatives, and other associates to be honest with the victim, and for the victim to listen to them and take their concerns seriously. That's really at the core of all the successful treatments I've seen.

 

[jehoram]

If that self-destructiveness begins to take its toll on a person's financial situation, ability to form lasting relationships, or do their job,

Or health. That's particularly true with drugs, but I've seen some people addicted to thrill-seeking, and a fair number of them end up in the hospital or with long-term injuries.

 

[Cumference]

There is no diagnosis called "sex addiction".

It is a myth perpetrated by "therapists" who make really good money "treating" it, and people who have been thinking with their dicks, and use it as nice way to avoid facing, that they acted like a little horny monkey.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...er-is-not-sex-addict-neither-is-anyone-else-0

You can look up scientific papers too, and they will tell the same story.



So, to return to the original question:
"Sexual addition is a pseudoscientific term used to describe a combined moneymaking scheme and bad excuse for getting in trouble, because you are horny and ignores the consequences of your actions"

 

[Hipshot1554]

I didn't begin this thread with my own slant. I wanted opinions.

Now that things are being said, I think the term sex addiction is used much in the same was as "syndrome". A common term used when nothing else fits.

 

[Athalia]

There is no diagnosis called "sex addiction".

Agreed, in the sense that it is not a definition embraced by the psychiatric community. That's not to say that it doesn't exist, only that there are no universally established metrics for diagnosis.

But it does fall into the same range of compulsive behavior that includes extreme forms of gambling and thrill-seeking. These activities can be a source of amusement without damaging effects in some people, when done in moderation, but other people would find them self-destructive when taken to extremes. In my own family, I've had people who needed intervention when their gambling went out of control and started draining their bank accounts and leaving them destitute. But other people go to the same casino and play the same games, knowing when to quit. Where is the line drawn? Is it a dollar amount?

Similarly, people go on roller coasters for the adrenaline rush. Some take up sky-diving. Some perform aerobatics in stunt planes. Each step increases the risk of self-destruction, but each finds adherents who take steps to minimize the increased danger. Who is to tell them when they've crossed some line, and are now acting irresponsibly? Maybe when the sky-diver drinks a six-pack just before jumping out of the plane, or the pilot ignores basic things like instrument checks or fuel checks. Then it's apparent that a line has been crossed from enjoyment to jeopardy. But as you've pointed out, that line isn't always clear, and there are no clinical guidelines.

 

[FGB]

I just write my name.

I came to the conclusion that I was a Sexaholic back in 1888 but I have gotten better in these latter years. Old age and health takes care of some of it.

It's like any other addiction...Take the twelve steps and sub Sex for alcohol.

You will find out real quick if you are addicted to sex.

 

[txgent101]

Progression

From what little I know about other forms of addiction, example drugs, an addiction is patterned by increasingly self destructive progression. The person starts off with 'safe' drugs, and progresses to increasingly stronger drugs. And progresses from occasional use to the need for more and more frequent use. My father was an alcoholic, and I saw this pattern happen. Even after he had gotten sober, but fell off the wagon, he returned to the same pattern.

In the context of sexual addiction, I observe in myself the need for increasingly stronger doses of erotica/pornography, and more often. At times I have stopped altogether, but when the need arose again, the same progression transpired.

I find that I still have some boundaries (e.g., BDSM still does not attract me). But when the desire is active, it is powerful.

So, hopefully I am not totally depraved!

 

[Hypoxia]

Those not addicted to reproductive sex are excluded from the genepool and thus die without a trace. Celibacy is the worst perversion. So long, wankers.

 

[JasonClearwater]

Being driven to have sex

Whether it's enjoyable or not, seeking it the way you'd seek a drug... feel like crap? SEX! Stressed? SEX! Someone just left you because you keep having sex with strangers? SEX!

Not caring who you sleep with, you just need SEX and when you need it, you NEED it. Not having it is painful, leads to the inability to think about anything else, controls 98% of your waking thoughts and how you structure your life.

Doesn't matter if you're putting your life in danger, doesn't matter if your compulsion destroys your job and your relationships and your life, you keep doing it.

And even as your life falls down around you, not being able to do anything about it, and somehow being able to justify that to yourself. Six different partners this week? Well, variety is great, innit?

Think alcoholism, or meth addiction and substitute sex. It's not just a high sex drive, it's a dangerous, obsessive compulsion that takes an extreme amount of concentration and management and assistance to control.

 

[TheOldWidow]

Sexual addiction is as varied a definition, as there are people in the world.
What is healthy, lustful living to one; maybe depraved immersion in the dark arts, for another.

If you 'do no harm' to fulfill your personal need, then it is not addiction. Compulsion, perhaps, but not addiction.

 

[Athalia]

S
What is healthy, lustful living to one; maybe depraved immersion in the dark arts, for another.

If you 'do no harm' to fulfill your personal need, then it is not addiction. Compulsion, perhaps, but not addiction.

That's as good as definition as any, methinks.