upsidedowncake
Virgin
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2016
- Posts
- 6
Am I doing this right?
Oh hi, didn’t see you there, was busy entertaining myself coming up with snarky post titles.
Anyways…
So here’s the thing, literotica. Dating sucks. Online dating sucks even more. “Oh, yes, let’s trade disembodied lists of our favorite movies and books, surely that will foster intimacy and promote longstanding compatibility!” said nobody ever. Add any degree of proclivity to BDSM into the mix, and you’re lucky to walk away with both kidneys. It’s a miracle two people can learn to stand each other nowadays, let alone meet and not be complete assholes long enough to actually like each other, let alone find some sort of accord with their particular flavor of kink.
But wait, upsidedowncake, this is BDSM Personals, nobody cares about any of this, they’re just here for scenes and play and protocol and kinky sex and you’ve been writing for like half a page already and haven’t talked about your omnipotent experience as a dom and all of the torture devices you own and what self-imposed title you deserve to be addressed as!
See, that never sat right with me. In fact, I find most of the conventions that accompany all of this to be ridiculous and often laughable, if I can say so in a way that doesn’t come off as judging the people for whom such protocol works and holds meaning. Hey, you do you, girl. Just please don’t call me “sir”, unless I’ve been knighted by the queen. Which would be pretty badass. This is just me. And I don’t need titles or leather pants to back that up.
But even with all of those impossible odds and insurmountable variables stacked against any chance of finding something substantial out there in the sea of delusionists, imitations, subtly masked abusers, and just plain idiots, some of us hold on to hope. Some of us trust that it will all be worth it in the end, that our person (singular) is out there, somewhere, and that all of those wrongs will make so much sense in their arms.
And some of us are naïve enough to think we can find that person here.
----------
Hi. I’m a hope(less)fully romantic, not even close to 7 foot tall but most likely taller than you so don’t worry it’s ok I get it, otherwise pretty normal guy who can’t believe he’s 30 already and who rarely lets his facial hair go past a few days’ stubble. I know, the internet loves their beards, I’m sorry. I like wandering through the park, befriending strangers’ dogs, singing in the middle of large crowds, and hate writing about myself (kindoflikethis). I will take a quiet night in vs. a loud night out any day of the week, don’t drink and have never touched a drug or been to a crazy party, go to church every Sunday, and am probably exactly as boring as I’m making myself sound right now. I take excellent care of myself, can talk your ear off about diet and fitness and will probably ask you to come to the gym with me at some point, and think I look ok in a suit as well as out of one. I’m also a dom, even though I don’t like labels and am still not entirely sure what it means and have yet to explore much of what that even is as I’ve been saving it for the right person who I have most likely yet to meet. I mention all of this because it’s important, much more important than a tedious list of kinks and limits, because I’m a *person* with a life I’m passionate about, complete with flaws and imperfections and surprises and depths you should want to learn and love before we discuss our favorite spanking implements (my hands).
I never last long on the more blatantly BDSM related sites with their blatantly sexual agenda and blatantly displayed genitalia (SO many questions about that…) where people seem to gather to find casual play partners and hairy old dudes to tie them up and take compromising pictures and jump right into things that would take me a really long time to open up to. Maybe I’m too old fashioned for this, but I’ve always seen sex and intimacy as beautiful, precious, and intensely private things that belong in the confines of a committed, loving relationship, not selfish pleasures to be sought out where, how, and whenever possible. As you might imagine, this has as difficult to live as it has been to find in another person.
D/s is not a sexual dynamic to me; the intense and awesome depth of sexuality it can offer is, instead, an expression and reflection of the intense and awesome vulnerability and love that exist between a dom and his sub. The possession, hunger, electricity, utter filth, blissful peace, and terrifying beauty inherent in an ideal dynamic stem from the mind and the heart, over time and trust, not from hormones in a moment of physical weakness. If you’re looking to check some kinky sex off your bucket list within the month, kindly look elsewhere, it’s very easy to find nowadays. I want, I *need* so much more.
I need cuddles, patience, warmth, unconditional praise of my cooking, unabashed nerdiness, unwavering loyalty, unlimited kindness, and an embarrassing amount of kissing. But I also need to be able to stop you mid-sentence with a look, pull you to your knees by your hair, earn and exercise complete control over your orgasms, and call you a good girl knowing full well what that does to you. I need an easily excitable adventure buddy, a fellow connoisseur of terrible jokes, a compassionate old soul, an avid art appreciator, as well as an insatiable oral aficionado, a stalwart spankee (or is it spanko? you know what I mean…), and an inexhaustible depth of filth. My best friend who also happens to be my slut. I’ve spent too many years trying to sacrifice one for the other and refuse to waste anyone’s time with being less than completely honest about who I am and what I need.
Maybe I’m just greedy (spoiler alert: I am). Maybe I want too much and am projecting an impossible fantasy on a fellow imperfect human being. But maybe I’m not alone in straddling this contradiction after all. Maybe someone is out there who might happen upon this novel of a post who also needs it all, the full breadth of both extremes; an endlessly rich vanilla relationship full of dates, laughs, memories, and adventures, coupled with an endlessly depraved d/s dynamic full of power exchange, exploration, openness, and earth shattering orgasms. I’d much rather write some of my heart out into a text box than remain content in accepting it does not and cannot exist.
----------
Time for some real talk; this was written over several days and started in a snarky place with the title but ended in a sincere place and is a fair bit more rambly than intended upon proofreading.
I’m a dom, and I’m looking for a sub. Not a sub, but rather my sub. Like a one and only forever sort of deal that starts in friendship and blossoms into a love that would make the rest of the world jealous if they could ever understand. I want to date like normal people, only knowing that the endgame includes and involves much more than 5 minutes of missionary once a week. I’m not looking for my equal; I’m looking for my complement. We will likely be very different in many ways, and I hope we can both learn so much from each other as we build a loving relationship alongside a beautiful d/s dynamic. Maybe we’ve shared the same dream our whole lives and, in some sense, already know each other better than anyone else.
As profuse as this post is, I’ve left much unsaid. There are, of course, many particulars to discuss and many things to share in time, which I very much look forward to. But we’ll need to take things slowly. I trust too easily and love too quickly and as a result get hurt too often. Start with my mind, and the rest will follow when it’s ready.
In the interests of not wasting anyone’s time (which you clearly have an abundance of if you’re still reading this), I’m not looking for anything long distance or online, though we’ll start here (and tell our grandparents we met in the park). I have a pretty firm “type” if you buy into that (introverted, nerdy, petite, cute, unassuming girl-next-door, since I know I’ll be asked) but know that beauty and attraction manifest themselves far deeper than the surface. Just please be healthy and happy with your body, especially if it’s going to be mine one day.
I hope this was enough (and not too much) to ignite the spark we need to connect. I can’t promise anything between us, but I can promise we will never know if you don’t reach out. I’m not going anywhere, don’t bite (yet), and am clearly a fan of epically long letters, creativity, and originality. Just be you. That’s all I can ever ask, even without knowing you yet.
I’m ready. Are you?
Oh hi, didn’t see you there, was busy entertaining myself coming up with snarky post titles.
Anyways…
So here’s the thing, literotica. Dating sucks. Online dating sucks even more. “Oh, yes, let’s trade disembodied lists of our favorite movies and books, surely that will foster intimacy and promote longstanding compatibility!” said nobody ever. Add any degree of proclivity to BDSM into the mix, and you’re lucky to walk away with both kidneys. It’s a miracle two people can learn to stand each other nowadays, let alone meet and not be complete assholes long enough to actually like each other, let alone find some sort of accord with their particular flavor of kink.
But wait, upsidedowncake, this is BDSM Personals, nobody cares about any of this, they’re just here for scenes and play and protocol and kinky sex and you’ve been writing for like half a page already and haven’t talked about your omnipotent experience as a dom and all of the torture devices you own and what self-imposed title you deserve to be addressed as!
See, that never sat right with me. In fact, I find most of the conventions that accompany all of this to be ridiculous and often laughable, if I can say so in a way that doesn’t come off as judging the people for whom such protocol works and holds meaning. Hey, you do you, girl. Just please don’t call me “sir”, unless I’ve been knighted by the queen. Which would be pretty badass. This is just me. And I don’t need titles or leather pants to back that up.
But even with all of those impossible odds and insurmountable variables stacked against any chance of finding something substantial out there in the sea of delusionists, imitations, subtly masked abusers, and just plain idiots, some of us hold on to hope. Some of us trust that it will all be worth it in the end, that our person (singular) is out there, somewhere, and that all of those wrongs will make so much sense in their arms.
And some of us are naïve enough to think we can find that person here.
----------
Hi. I’m a hope(less)fully romantic, not even close to 7 foot tall but most likely taller than you so don’t worry it’s ok I get it, otherwise pretty normal guy who can’t believe he’s 30 already and who rarely lets his facial hair go past a few days’ stubble. I know, the internet loves their beards, I’m sorry. I like wandering through the park, befriending strangers’ dogs, singing in the middle of large crowds, and hate writing about myself (kindoflikethis). I will take a quiet night in vs. a loud night out any day of the week, don’t drink and have never touched a drug or been to a crazy party, go to church every Sunday, and am probably exactly as boring as I’m making myself sound right now. I take excellent care of myself, can talk your ear off about diet and fitness and will probably ask you to come to the gym with me at some point, and think I look ok in a suit as well as out of one. I’m also a dom, even though I don’t like labels and am still not entirely sure what it means and have yet to explore much of what that even is as I’ve been saving it for the right person who I have most likely yet to meet. I mention all of this because it’s important, much more important than a tedious list of kinks and limits, because I’m a *person* with a life I’m passionate about, complete with flaws and imperfections and surprises and depths you should want to learn and love before we discuss our favorite spanking implements (my hands).
I never last long on the more blatantly BDSM related sites with their blatantly sexual agenda and blatantly displayed genitalia (SO many questions about that…) where people seem to gather to find casual play partners and hairy old dudes to tie them up and take compromising pictures and jump right into things that would take me a really long time to open up to. Maybe I’m too old fashioned for this, but I’ve always seen sex and intimacy as beautiful, precious, and intensely private things that belong in the confines of a committed, loving relationship, not selfish pleasures to be sought out where, how, and whenever possible. As you might imagine, this has as difficult to live as it has been to find in another person.
D/s is not a sexual dynamic to me; the intense and awesome depth of sexuality it can offer is, instead, an expression and reflection of the intense and awesome vulnerability and love that exist between a dom and his sub. The possession, hunger, electricity, utter filth, blissful peace, and terrifying beauty inherent in an ideal dynamic stem from the mind and the heart, over time and trust, not from hormones in a moment of physical weakness. If you’re looking to check some kinky sex off your bucket list within the month, kindly look elsewhere, it’s very easy to find nowadays. I want, I *need* so much more.
I need cuddles, patience, warmth, unconditional praise of my cooking, unabashed nerdiness, unwavering loyalty, unlimited kindness, and an embarrassing amount of kissing. But I also need to be able to stop you mid-sentence with a look, pull you to your knees by your hair, earn and exercise complete control over your orgasms, and call you a good girl knowing full well what that does to you. I need an easily excitable adventure buddy, a fellow connoisseur of terrible jokes, a compassionate old soul, an avid art appreciator, as well as an insatiable oral aficionado, a stalwart spankee (or is it spanko? you know what I mean…), and an inexhaustible depth of filth. My best friend who also happens to be my slut. I’ve spent too many years trying to sacrifice one for the other and refuse to waste anyone’s time with being less than completely honest about who I am and what I need.
Maybe I’m just greedy (spoiler alert: I am). Maybe I want too much and am projecting an impossible fantasy on a fellow imperfect human being. But maybe I’m not alone in straddling this contradiction after all. Maybe someone is out there who might happen upon this novel of a post who also needs it all, the full breadth of both extremes; an endlessly rich vanilla relationship full of dates, laughs, memories, and adventures, coupled with an endlessly depraved d/s dynamic full of power exchange, exploration, openness, and earth shattering orgasms. I’d much rather write some of my heart out into a text box than remain content in accepting it does not and cannot exist.
----------
Time for some real talk; this was written over several days and started in a snarky place with the title but ended in a sincere place and is a fair bit more rambly than intended upon proofreading.
I’m a dom, and I’m looking for a sub. Not a sub, but rather my sub. Like a one and only forever sort of deal that starts in friendship and blossoms into a love that would make the rest of the world jealous if they could ever understand. I want to date like normal people, only knowing that the endgame includes and involves much more than 5 minutes of missionary once a week. I’m not looking for my equal; I’m looking for my complement. We will likely be very different in many ways, and I hope we can both learn so much from each other as we build a loving relationship alongside a beautiful d/s dynamic. Maybe we’ve shared the same dream our whole lives and, in some sense, already know each other better than anyone else.
As profuse as this post is, I’ve left much unsaid. There are, of course, many particulars to discuss and many things to share in time, which I very much look forward to. But we’ll need to take things slowly. I trust too easily and love too quickly and as a result get hurt too often. Start with my mind, and the rest will follow when it’s ready.
In the interests of not wasting anyone’s time (which you clearly have an abundance of if you’re still reading this), I’m not looking for anything long distance or online, though we’ll start here (and tell our grandparents we met in the park). I have a pretty firm “type” if you buy into that (introverted, nerdy, petite, cute, unassuming girl-next-door, since I know I’ll be asked) but know that beauty and attraction manifest themselves far deeper than the surface. Just please be healthy and happy with your body, especially if it’s going to be mine one day.
I hope this was enough (and not too much) to ignite the spark we need to connect. I can’t promise anything between us, but I can promise we will never know if you don’t reach out. I’m not going anywhere, don’t bite (yet), and am clearly a fan of epically long letters, creativity, and originality. Just be you. That’s all I can ever ask, even without knowing you yet.
I’m ready. Are you?
You give me hope!
