The Isolated Blurt Thread XXVI: Spring Forward

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Excerpted from:

MENCKENIANA, A Schimpflexikon
Expurgated Edition
New York, New York 1928.


NOTE​
This collection is not exhaustive, but an effort has been made to keep it representative. The original materials would fill many volumes: they include hundreds of savage articles and newspaper editorials, and a number of whole pamphlets. During the single year 1926 more than 500 separate editorials upon the sayings and doings of Mr. Mencken were printed in the United States, and at least four-fifths of them were unfavorable. Himself given to somewhat acidulous utterance, he has probably been denounced more vigorously and at greater length than any other American of his time, not even excepting Henry Ford, Robert M. LaFollette, Clarence Darrow, and Sacco and Vanzetti. Here there is room only to offer some salient specimens of this anti-Mencken invective— mainly single sentences or phrases, torn from their incandescent context. Some were chosen for their wit— for there are palpable hits among them!—, some for their blistering ferocity, and some for their charming idiocy. The rest of the material awaits the literary resurrection men of another and perhaps less indignant day.
-THE PUBLISHER

Chapters
  • Zoölogical
    "This maggot, this ghoul of new-made graves, this buzzard!"
    -Eugene L. Pearce, in the Tampa Times.
  • Genealogical
    "Mr. Mencken did not degenerate from an ape, but from an ass. And in the process of 'revolution' the tail was eliminated, the ears became shorter and the hind parts smaller; but the ability to bray was increased, intensified, amplified and otherwise assified about one million times."
    - J. B. Tedder, in the Chattanooga News.
  • Pathological
    "H. L. Mencken says the Liberty Bell episode was a myth. That man just naturally can't stand for anything that is more cracked than he is himself."
    - The Los Angeles Record
  • Freudian Diagnosis
    "Mr. Mencken, that American Loud-Speaker, is suffering from a serious superiority complex."
    - The Queen ( London ).
  • Penalogical
    "Mencken, with his filthy verbal hemorrhages, is so low down in the moral scale, so damnably dirty, so vile and degenerate, that when his time comes to die it will take a special dispensation from Heaven to get him into the bottomost pit of Hell."
    - The Jackson ( Miss. ) News.
  • As A Critic
    "Mr. Mencken is a typical Hun in his criticism."
    - The Los Angeles Times.
  • As An Artist
    "Mr. Mencken is no writer at all, but a brick factory."
    - The New Republic.
  • As An Evangelist
    "Mencken is frankly a diabolist."
    - The Manchester ( N.H. ) Union.
  • As An American
    "A British toady."
    - The Lowell ( Mass. ) Sun.
  • As An Intellectual
    "In his glorious upward progress he acquired instead of the gray matter placed in the skulls of Tennesseans by the Almighty, a composite of slime, mould, bunk, miasma, decay, skunk cabbage, devil's snuff, flapdoodle and Hamburger cheese, blended in minor proportions with razor extract, stump water and valerian. So biggon, sooey, scat, shoo!"
    - Nannie H. Chesnutt, in the Nashville Tennessean.
  • As A Journalist
    "H. L. Mencken thinks journalism is in a low estate. It sure is wherever Mencken touches it."
    - The Council Bluffs ( Iowa ) Nonpareil.
  • As A Truth-Seeker
  • As An Editor
  • As A Statesman
    "A radical crack-brain."
    - The Huntington ( W. Va. ) Herald-Dispatch.
  • As A Voluptuary
    "The Menckens are accustomed to trafficking in morasses of racy French literature. They have attained that peak of rarefied highbrowism where the palate quickens only upon highly-seasoned eroticism."
    - The Louisville Courier-Journal.
  • As A Scoundrel
  • Kosher Or Terefah?
    "Mencken is connected with the New York World, the attitude of which toward Romanism and Rum the reader should know full well. From his name, he seems to be a Jew, or at least a German, and recently in an Alabama daily he was sneering at Genesis.
    - The Alabama Christian Advocate.
  • Ex-Cathedra
    "One H. L. Mencken, whose name sounds like that of a German, Polish or Russian Jew, said to be foreign-born and a product of the schools of Germany, has sneeringly called the South the Bible Belt."
    - THE REV. JAMES M. GLENN, D.D., in the Birmingham ( Ala. ) Christian Advocate.
  • Counter-Offensive
    "I do not believe that all the iconoclastic mouthings of H. L. Mencken can weigh as feathers against the gold of a single, little, undernourished, underprivileged or crippled child, made happier by the work of the Lions."
    - PROFESSOR ENEST C. MARRINER, of Colby College, Waterville, Maine.
  • Winces Of The Called
  • The Voice Of The Motherland
  • Miscellaneous Elegancies
    "H. L. Mencken, instead of taking a page ad like the piles cure manufacturers or the fly paper venders or the corn plaster makers, simply says something sufficiently shocking or silly to be quoted."
    - The Nashville Tennessean
  • Verdicts In Brief
    "A SMART Aleck who has become a member of Phi Beta Kappa."
    - Hearst's Chicago Herald-Examiner.

    "A Baltimore Babbitt."
    - O. O. McINTYRE


Soli Deo gloria!


 
Continuance until late July. Ugh, but hopefully it will be better prepared.
 
generally speaking its is the sleaziest profession on the planet. I trust drug dealers more than most lawyers.

Drug dealers want to be on your good side, lawyers don't give a shit. Damn shame when a meth dealer knows more about customer service than a fucking lawyer.
 
blimey, david gest found dead in a hotel in london this morning. shame, bless 'im.

and watching all the non-entity 'celebs' crawling out the woodwork to declare themselves best buddies makes me cringe.
 
two words: billable hours

a while back, where i rent a house from the local council, i had to get a sworn affidavit stating my ex no longer lived there and when he left. Basically, a 2-line statement. had i gone the regular route where the solicitor prepared the document and we both signed, they wanted to charge over 100 pounds. certain wording has to be specific. instead, i found the right wording online on templates, typed out my own document, printed it off, signed it, and took it into the solicitor who signed it for the grand sum of 5 pounds. still not bad, 5 quid for less than a minute's work. :rolleyes:
 
a while back, where i rent a house from the local council, i had to get a sworn affidavit stating my ex no longer lived there and when he left. Basically, a 2-line statement. had i gone the regular route where the solicitor prepared the document and we both signed, they wanted to charge over 100 pounds. certain wording has to be specific. instead, i found the right wording online on templates, typed out my own document, printed it off, signed it, and took it into the solicitor who signed it for the grand sum of 5 pounds. still not bad, 5 quid for less than a minute's work. :rolleyes:


Over here, lawyers will give a half hour free consultation to people in public housing.
 
You don't get nothing free from a lawyer here. I'm surprised they haven't figured out a way to bill you just for thinking about them.

To:

All legal services rendered, including, but not limited to:

4/12/16- crossing the street to say hello to you: .1 hrs
4/12/16- realizing it wasn't you: .1 hrs
4/12/16- recrossing the street to continue on my way: .1 hrs
 
You don't get nothing free from a lawyer here. I'm surprised they haven't figured out a way to bill you just for thinking about them.

people receiving benefits get a certain amount/type of free help, but those earning a wage and not in receipt of benefits have to pay all the way. the internet, though, has a lot of templates now that can be accessed. now if i could only find the correctly-worded one for the assignment of tenancy i have to complete, it wouldn't cost me well over 300 pounds. :rolleyes:
 
Drug dealers want to be on your good side, lawyers don't give a shit. Damn shame when a meth dealer knows more about customer service than a fucking lawyer.

That's why the cuntiest of all lawyers become politicians.
And the cuntiest of those become our presidents.
Doesn't really say much for us, the fuel behind the farts.
 
After my divorce was final my lawyer gave me a big hug.

Then she sent me to collections after I forgot to pay a $50 court cost..
 
You don't get nothing free from a lawyer here. I'm surprised they haven't figured out a way to bill you just for thinking about them.
They basically have. A friend's husband is a lawyer. To read you email or listen to your voice mail it 3 billed minutes. To respond to you email is minimum of 8 billed minutes, even if they say something to the effect of "yes I received the package" in said email.
After my divorce was final my lawyer gave me a big hug.

Then she sent me to collections after I forgot to pay a $50 court cost..

That sounds about right. The hug was probably billed as well.
 
he wasn't really reporting you, just being his usual dumbass self.

i sew a lot of that sorta 'jonbenet ramsey' shit on FB too, it's disturbing how some parents doll their kids up.
:(

Oh... well, I don't know.
 
*confuzzled*

I was reading about the famous Betty's Tea Room and bakery, and I had intended to fish for some feedback.

I searched for Des's tea thread.

I found this...

DesEsseintes
Guest

Posts: n/a

The restorative tea thread, is still there, but Des is not ?

Could someone please explain this odd and unsettling occurrence ?
 
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