Masculinity, what's the best kind?

[sr71plt]

I can.

Sure you can. Of course it's easier on your tricycle.

 

[NotWise]

I can.

Your are your definition of masculinity then -- unless women disagree.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

Your are your definition of masculinity then -- unless women disagree.

I was a union sheet metal worker for many years. The work usta do 2 things for a guy: make his hands able to crush other hands, and build upper body strength weight lifters envy. 90% of the work is weight lifting all day long.

 

[JackLuis]

I've pondered this for a while now. I am working on a story that is about what it means to be a "Husband", in the most fundamental ways.

It is difficult to describe the limits of that concept, but I'm working on it.

Masculinity is different in different cultures, seldom defined in most. What most people talk about is 'Macho' in the Mexican sense. It is generally confused with Overly Aggressive Alpha behavior patterns.

 

[AlwaysHungry]

Masculinity is the capacity to love and appreciate women in every conceivable way. All the other stuff is puerile locker-room BS.

 

[sr71plt]

Masculinity is the capacity to love and appreciate women in every conceivable way. All the other stuff is puerile locker-room BS.

Well, that's certainly an "it's all about us" woman's perspective on it.

I think a male deserves the privilege of weighing in on what masculinity is--and defining it in terms of what a certain segment of self-possessed women want just doesn't cut it.

 

[NotWise]

One of the problems with defining masculinity (even if you limit it to the US) is that men don't act consistently.

My son-in-law did two tours in Iraq with the Marine Corps. He's a Deacon in his (rather patriarchal) church. I've seen him squeal like a girl and run when surprised by a spider.

My soon-to-be son-in-law is a soft-spoken software developer with a taste for stylish things, including small dogs. He can also lift 500 lbs and he keeps my daughter happy.

 

[redzinger]

I've changed tyres several times. It's a piece of piss, even in heels. As long as the boot [trunk] has the tools...

A male friend was complaining vociferously on Fb the other day about having to drive a round trip of 50 miles as his daughter had a flat.

I asked him if, as her father, he'd ever ensured that his daughter knew how to do it herself. I.e. got the tools out and demonstrated.

He went rather quiet, then, after prodding from other friends, admitted he hadn't.
Everyone then told him to SFTU & stop moaning.


As for masculinity, I find honesty, integrity and loyalty attractive in both sexes. Someone being assertive too is a bonus.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

I've changed tyres several times. It's a piece of piss, even in heels. As long as the boot [trunk] has the tools...

A male friend was complaining vociferously on Fb the other day about having to drive a round trip of 50 miles as his daughter had a flat.

I asked him if, as her father, he'd ever ensured that his daughter knew how to do it herself. I.e. got the tools out and demonstrated.

He went rather quiet, then, after prodding from other friends, admitted he hadn't.
Everyone then told him to SFTU & stop moaning.


As for masculinity, I find honesty, integrity and loyalty attractive in both sexes. Someone being assertive too is a bonus.

My daughters know how to change tires and do routine stuff.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

I've pondered this for a while now. I am working on a story that is about what it means to be a "Husband", in the most fundamental ways.

It is difficult to describe the limits of that concept, but I'm working on it.

Masculinity is different in different cultures, seldom defined in most. What most people talk about is 'Macho' in the Mexican sense. It is generally confused with Overly Aggressive Alpha behavior patterns.

Its pretty simple:

Know what a pussy is for and use it properly.
Go to work every day. Give the money to your honey.
Have limits and know when to eat shit.
Never-ever be honest to her. She's the 2nd Coming. No, better!

 

[rjordan]

Trump is the wind blowing thru the wind chimes. Hus competitors are mute.

That isn't wind chimes. It's the wind whistling through his supporters' ears. But I agree he has no competitors. The rest of the Republicans are lightweights even as nutjobs.

It's possible a lot of people confuse the attributes of psycho-/sociopathy to classic masculinity.

rj

 

[ksmith475]

Howdy

I love the smell of oil and sweat after he's been working on my car.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

That isn't wind chimes. It's the wind whistling through is supporters' ears. But I agree he as no competitors. The rest of the Republicans are lightweights even as nutjobs.

It's possible a lot of people confuse the attributes of psycho-/sociopathy to classic masculinity.

rj

People like the noise he makes. They want Patton not Trump.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMWnMbQeWlg

When the student is ready the teacher comes.

 

[Hypoxia]

A recent study says sexuality is a jigsaw puzzle, not a continuum. I.e. there ain't manliness on one end of a scale and girlishness on the other, nope. Rather, we sloppily piece together masculinity and femininity from what components we have available. Those jagged pieces may or may not include being a decent human being. I.e. assholes and fucktards exist in all gender (and ethnic) possibilities.

Just what constitutes masculine or feminine or decent behavior varies among cultures. What is the best kind of masculinity or femininity or decency? Whatever makes life good.

 

[rjordan]

I asked him if, as her father, he'd ever ensured that his daughter knew how to do it herself. I.e. got the tools out and demonstrated.

Considering the opportunities a young woman fixing a flat has for meeting unusual men on the road, I bought my daughter a membership in the auto club.

There was a time when it might have been a useful skill to be that self-sufficient. That time has passed. Stay in your car, lock the doors and call the auto club. They'll be there before most people can figure out where the manufacturer has cleverly hidden and disguised the jack.

rj

 

[NOIRTRASH]

A recent study says sexuality is a jigsaw puzzle, not a continuum. I.e. there ain't manliness on one end of a scale and girlishness on the other, nope. Rather, we sloppily piece together masculinity and femininity from what components we have available. Those jagged pieces may or may not include being a decent human being. I.e. assholes and fucktards exist in all gender (and ethnic) possibilities.

Just what constitutes masculine or feminine or decent behavior varies among cultures. What is the best kind of masculinity or femininity or decency? Whatever makes life good.

The study is crap.

 

[rjordan]

People like the noise he makes. They want Patton not Trump.

Exactly right, but they have them mixed up. Patton abhorred fear. Trump feeds on it. Patton would be slapping Trump's draft dodging blow-hard ass into the next century. Probably tell him to get a fucking haircut, too.

rj

 

[redzinger]

Considering the opportunities a young woman fixing a flat has for meeting unusual men on the road, I bought my daughter a membership in the auto club.

There was a time when it might have been a useful skill to be that self-sufficient. That time has passed. Stay in your car, lock the doors and call the auto club. They'll be there before most people can figure out where the manufacturer has cleverly hidden and disguised the jack.

rj

Not where I grew up, or in many parts around here. Think it took me less than half an hour, and most of that time was emptying the boot of various bits of work crap.

Last time I called the AA (electrical fault), it took them a good hour to arrive.

I don't drive nowadays, I cycle. And I'm quite happy to fix a puncture or deal with a load of mechanicals by the side of the road. The world isn't that scary.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

Exactly right, but they have them mixed up. Patton abhorred fear. Trump feeds on it. Patton would be slapping Trump's draft dodging blow-hard ass into the next century. Probably tell him to get a fucking haircut, too.

rj

Sure.

Trump's campaign is modeled on Hitler's. Identical. But Hitler was another brave lil mother fucker, especially in combat. Crazy as a shit house mouse with huge balls.

 

[AlwaysHungry]

Well, that's certainly an "it's all about us" woman's perspective on it.

I think a male deserves the privilege of weighing in on what masculinity is--and defining it in terms of what a certain segment of self-possessed women want just doesn't cut it.

I am a man, and the proof is that I know how to love a woman.

 

[le_kitty]

Everyone has made really good points in this thread.

To add...

From my perspective, masculinity and femininity are social constructs and Hypoxia has it right about a spectrum. If a guy feels he "can't" do this or do that, for fear of being overly feminine, or that he "must", is that masculinity, or aspiring to a macho ideal of what a guy should be. A shallow hypothetical: If a guy likes pink, is that masculine? I'm fairly certain his peers will likely make fun of him... but, he has the confidence to express what he really likes. So then, the conclusion is that he isn't masculine because he likes pink?

But confidence isn't limited to masculinity.

When I think of masculine, I think of physical appearance; strong, broad shouldered, handy (<- but still regurgitating a social ideal). I find a masculine appearance attractive, but there are also women that find a more feminine appearance in men attractive.

There are universal traits I like that are not limited to men but might otherwise be considered 'masculine'. Where public transport is concerned, I generally let other people go first, whether they are male or female (but maybe that comes from being a student), so I LOVE it when someone stops and indicates for me to. Mostly older guys do this. I have no problem banging my own furniture together, which is something my mother wouldn't bother with because that's my dad's job. But she does most of the cooking and cleaning and that's fine. They fit into a older view of male/female gendered role and it works for them.

Your thread asked what the best kind is, perhaps just decent people who happen to be male. And then you just pick what you like.

 

[sr71plt]

I am a man, and the proof is that I know how to love a woman.

Fun that you should claim "proof" of anything out of thin air on the Internet in a fake name.

Well, you've swallowed the Kool-Aid put out by a certain brand of woman. Which doesn't surprise me. There are a lot of those women here--and men with the Kool-Aid dripping from the corner of their mouths.

The topic is masculinity. It doesn't all have to do with a relationship to a woman--unless you've drunk that brand of Kool-Aid, which, apparently, you have. Men aren't totally defined by their relationship to women--except in the minds of certain women and men who have drunk their Kool-Aid.

Did you realize, by the way, that your avatar is lesbian? Not feeling too masculine today, I take it?

I assume you define femininity in terms of what a woman will do for her man(?)

 

[sr71plt]

Masculinity isn't determined by whether you have the physical strength to change a car tire, either. That's a typical JBJ nonsense statement that rolls off the tongue nicely and has folks on the forum going "oh, ah" but is just sheer nonsense.

 

[ishtat]

I think you need to take a look outside. About the only ones left are tribes in Africa and in the Amazon jungles. Oh, yeah and Borneo.

I was in Borneo a couple of years ago and met a couple of young people who told me that their recently deceased grandfather had a modest collection of (shrunken) heads and had eaten his enemies. The youngsters both worked in a hotel, she was a receptionist but had got a student's visa for short term work in Australia, "where she might find a husband." He earned extra money running errands for wealthier (mainly German and American) lady tourists. Different times, different rites.

In Australia poorly educated people, for example White bikies, black aboriginals or Arab migrants tend to have similar concepts of masculinity. They tend towards the violent subjection of 'their' women and the personal enforcement of their concepts. Educated men of all groups tend to have gentler relationships and rely on civil institutions when enforcement is necessary, but many can revert to primitive behavior when challenged - that last group is well represented in the criminal and political milieus.

With respect to tyre changing, I have a woman who works for me as a secretary/chauffeuse. She is a country girl, and the first tool she added to the car was a length of pipe to give extra leverage on the tyre wrench. When I tried to be gallant helping to change a wheel, she told me off. "Put that down, you'll strip the threads if you are not careful." I illustrated my own version of modern masculinity by not telling her that I was well aware of that risk.