Ask a MtF TG a question
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funluvinaj
Simply AJ
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Hey Sis... Dropping by with love
stickygirl
All the witches
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Thanks Pops 
The whole topic of gender / gender binary / bodies / people / sex / prejudice is enough to leave anyone perplexed. Oddly enough, I read an article yesterday*, that voiced the concern of Intersex people in challenging the gender binary: some feel that trans women support that concept by expressing their desire for re-assignment surgery and so make them into 'proper women'. Then it suggested the term cis-gender is wrong - it ought to be non-intersex-gender… Whatever terms are used, someone will feel always marginalised and wise authors normally go to great lengths to set out their terms of reference, add qualifiers, identify exceptions, before launching into their tome.
I didn't expect to feel differently about my status after my surgery, but suddenly I do. In some discussions, I feel I now lack legitimacy, despite being pre-op for many years and to be honest, there is a weeny bit of guilt in my head. I wish we lived in a world where gender didn't matter either socially or personally… or do I? Does my operation lend weight to the argument that the gender binary is right and, by implication, everything else is less-right? Still thinking about that one.
^^^ sheesh - I go off on one. Sorry
I know - I overthink stuff!!
Badgers and Bingley?
…well it was boiled badger originally but badger almost rhymes with vag so… You need to swat up on your Jane Austen to find the delightful Mr Bingley but ultimately we're aiming high for Mr Darcy ( Colin Firth pleeeease ) and his big cock. Hopefully not made of of solid frigging plastic though -
Horses. I have ridden a horse - it may have been a pony but it was still a long way up and terrifying. I haven't done enough to dispell my nerves. They are huge… no - don't even go there Pops!!
Sis!! Awww, thank you!! :hugs: you know I love flowers xxxxx
* for academics of gender - here's the article
The whole topic of gender / gender binary / bodies / people / sex / prejudice is enough to leave anyone perplexed. Oddly enough, I read an article yesterday*, that voiced the concern of Intersex people in challenging the gender binary: some feel that trans women support that concept by expressing their desire for re-assignment surgery and so make them into 'proper women'. Then it suggested the term cis-gender is wrong - it ought to be non-intersex-gender… Whatever terms are used, someone will feel always marginalised and wise authors normally go to great lengths to set out their terms of reference, add qualifiers, identify exceptions, before launching into their tome.
I didn't expect to feel differently about my status after my surgery, but suddenly I do. In some discussions, I feel I now lack legitimacy, despite being pre-op for many years and to be honest, there is a weeny bit of guilt in my head. I wish we lived in a world where gender didn't matter either socially or personally… or do I? Does my operation lend weight to the argument that the gender binary is right and, by implication, everything else is less-right? Still thinking about that one.
^^^ sheesh - I go off on one. Sorry
I know - I overthink stuff!!
Badgers and Bingley?
…well it was boiled badger originally
but badger almost rhymes with vag so… You need to swat up on your Jane Austen to find the delightful Mr Bingley but ultimately we're aiming high for Mr Darcy ( Colin Firth pleeeease ) and his big cock. Hopefully not made of of solid frigging plastic though - Horses. I have ridden a horse - it may have been a pony but it was still a long way up and terrifying. I haven't done enough to dispell my nerves. They are huge… no - don't even go there Pops!!
Sis!! Awww, thank you!! :hugs: you know I love flowers xxxxx
When I'm thirty
* for academics of gender - here's the article
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beardedmariner
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no question. well I guess - how are you?
stickygirl
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HI BM and thank you for asking. I'm ok - no physical problems other than the insistence of Mr B
Otherwise... either I'm getting bored or coming down off the ride now. Back to reality and all that :-\I may have to swat up on knitting or something ... and tackling the sewing machine
beardedmariner
Darkness
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HI BM and thank you for asking. I'm ok - no physical problems other than the insistence of Mr B
I may have to swat up on knitting or something ... and tackling the sewing machine
Don't let normality get to you!!!
haurni
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The concept of intersectionality teaches us that there are hierarchies of privilege, and the discussion of cis/trans privilege does tend to neglect intersex people, probably because their voices are less audible to the mainstream (of course, this is what privilege is all about, i.e. neglecting/minimizing non-dominant groups). Arguably, intersex folks rank on par with trans people in that they confuse the majority, i.e. those for whom the gender binary is sacrosanct. (The author states that "the impulse to appropriate the term intersex is based on the presumption that it is better to be deemed an intersex person than a trans person." This may very well be the case.) I certainly agree with the author that intersex and trans people are natural allies, as are the genderqueer in general.
Julia Serano notes the inadequacy of "One-size-fits-all approaches to gender and sexuality" that deny the validity of non-binary physiologies and gender expressions as they "inevitably result in double standards, where bodies and behaviors can only ever be viewed as either right or wrong, natural or unnatural, normal or abnormal, righteous or immoral." While many individuals may prefer to choose one or the other end of the gender spectrum, those who elect to opt out of it should not be criticized for doing so (nor should those who choose to adhere to it). You've commented about the 'legitimacy' of your identity as trans, which you seem to feel may be at risk by having had GRS, but I see no reason why you should feel uncomfortable with it. JS also says of herself that "I maybe a transsexual, but I am also a woman."
You are who you are. Just be yourself
stickygirl
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Thanks Haurni
You're right of course and whilst I agree with Julia and others with the theory, I still need to get my head round it. I mean it's hardly as though I suddenly woke up to find this! Even so... still a bit weird. Didn't expect to be weirded.... it's not a big deal - just odd.
You're right of course and whilst I agree with Julia and others with the theory, I still need to get my head round it. I mean it's hardly as though I suddenly woke up to find this! Even so... still a bit weird. Didn't expect to be weirded.... it's not a big deal - just odd.
B
BradBigBrain
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Howdy. Are you still overseas?
stickygirl
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No hun, I've been back for nearly three weeks now
4yourpleasureiam
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OK here is a question you may want to or not want to answer. It is in fun that I ask it and it is also because of what other people have experienced. Have you ever caught yourself in the middle of the night reaching for something that is no longer there if you wake up from a deep sleep and have to go pee. An acquaintance said she did quite often much to her embarrassment.
stickygirl
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Ha - no, not yet, but I could see it happening. Going to the loo is yet another life-skill I have had to learn: front to back, front to back...
dutchrain
* der Weisheit
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*grins* It won't take you long to master this skill, from what I experienced with my daughters (and my mom with my sister and me) it'll only take you a year or two.
stickygirl
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dutchrain
* der Weisheit
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Umm, yea
See? The most important part you mastered already.
stickygirl
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How rudeDoes this mean you will now pee in the toilet and not all over everywhere??
Sounds a bit suspect to me.
I've long wondered why men, who profess to excel at things like shooting guns, can't hit a large target right between their feet! Grrr
poppadog
Old Dog - New Tricks
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How rude
I've long wondered why men, who profess to excel at things like shooting guns, can't hit a large target right between their feet! Grrr
Lol! We can its a design fault - splash back you see.
Guns. Scary things. Make love not war that's my motto.
Doesn't sitting down leave you with a ring on yer bum as well??
Hope you are having a good day and that Mr Bingley is behaving himself?
stickygirl
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Women don't sit on the seat - we actually float about an inch above and our wee smells of flowers and mountain air.Lol! We can its a design fault - splash back you see.
Guns. Scary things. Make love not war that's my motto.
Doesn't sitting down leave you with a ring on yer bum as well??
Hope you are having a good day and that Mr Bingley is behaving himself?
Mr Bingley is like any other man - he just wants his way and damn the consequences
. Mr D is waiting in the wings, impatient for action...
beardedmariner
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Will you be more of a sticky girl or less of a sticky girl after the surgery, now?
stickygirl
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Ultimately I will be more sticky, but I am decidedly unsticky at the moment. Very good question, thank you
beardedmariner
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Ultimately I will be more sticky, but I am decidedly unsticky at the moment. Very good question, thank you
So your name will be the same?
And, on a completely serious note - I have googled it numerous times. And not too sound weird?
I've always heard it's easier to dig a hole than build a pole. So, I guess - what's it look like? Are you pleased? Do you feel more "whole"?
stickygirl
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If you're meaning what type of trans surgery has a better outcome in terms of functionality, then creating vaginas is a cinch compared to making a penis. Men can take some comfort that their wee-wee is unique, amazing and so far, beyond the skills of surgeons! It is thought the next steps in medicine will be growing body parts from stem cells and hopefully trans men in the future can benefit from that.
Once everything has settled down, my vag will be good enough to fool a gynaecologist so in terms of appearance it doesn't get any better ( or else gynaecologists could be really stupid idk ). Am I happy with it? Yes of course, but really anything was better than what was there before, which was the cause of so much… well dysphoria is the only word for it.
Do I feel more whole? I feel less fragmented now that my genitals match my gender, so yes I do feel more complete. I will always be a trans woman though and I'm proud of that. In common with many cis-gender women and couples, I will have to adopt if I decide to settle down. I love kids - I think I'd like that but, hey, one thing at a time huh?
Once everything has settled down, my vag will be good enough to fool a gynaecologist so in terms of appearance it doesn't get any better ( or else gynaecologists could be really stupid idk ). Am I happy with it? Yes of course, but really anything was better than what was there before, which was the cause of so much… well dysphoria is the only word for it.
Do I feel more whole? I feel less fragmented now that my genitals match my gender, so yes I do feel more complete. I will always be a trans woman though and I'm proud of that. In common with many cis-gender women and couples, I will have to adopt if I decide to settle down. I love kids - I think I'd like that but, hey, one thing at a time huh?
B
BradBigBrain
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How rude
I've long wondered why men, who profess to excel at things like shooting guns, can't hit a large target right between their feet! Grrr
Some things are just too hard to control.
B
BradBigBrain
Guest
If you're meaning what type of trans surgery has a better outcome in terms of functionality, then creating vaginas is a cinch compared to making a penis. Men can take some comfort that their wee-wee is unique, amazing and so far, beyond the skills of surgeons! It is thought the next steps in medicine will be growing body parts from stem cells and hopefully trans men in the future can benefit from that.
Once everything has settled down, my vag will be good enough to fool a gynaecologist so in terms of appearance it doesn't get any better ( or else gynaecologists could be really stupid idk ). Am I happy with it? Yes of course, but really anything was better than what was there before, which was the cause of so much… well dysphoria is the only word for it.
Do I feel more whole? I feel less fragmented now that my genitals match my gender, so yes I do feel more complete. I will always be a trans woman though and I'm proud of that. In common with many cis-gender women and couples, I will have to adopt if I decide to settle down. I love kids - I think I'd like that but, hey, one thing at a time huh?
Did you get to choose what your vajayjay looks like?
400 Vaginas on the wall sculpture.
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