Sammael Bard
Suit Up
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More Humour
- Thread starter Handley_Page
- Start date
fma20fma
Literotica Guru
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Sammael Bard
Suit Up
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Handley_Page
Draco interdum Vincit
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To get acquainted with his new parish, the new Priest decided to call on a new parishioner every day until he got to know most of them.
One day he selected a young widow, whose husband, according to the index card supplied him by the parish office, had died two years ago.
After knocking at the door, he was greeted by a young lady with a baby in her arms.
He said, "I'm sorry, I must have the wrong address, I was looking for the widow Smith."
"You've found her Father," smiled the lady.
"Well, according to the card here, it says your husband died over two years ago." he said glancing at the baby in her arms.
"That's correct Father," she replied. "He did, but I didn't."
One day he selected a young widow, whose husband, according to the index card supplied him by the parish office, had died two years ago.
After knocking at the door, he was greeted by a young lady with a baby in her arms.
He said, "I'm sorry, I must have the wrong address, I was looking for the widow Smith."
"You've found her Father," smiled the lady.
"Well, according to the card here, it says your husband died over two years ago." he said glancing at the baby in her arms.
"That's correct Father," she replied. "He did, but I didn't."
StrangeLife
Eater of beef
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One day a rushing river found it's path blocked by a large concrete wall.
"I be dammed," it said...
"I be dammed," it said...
Handley_Page
Draco interdum Vincit
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Quotes About 'Attitude'
Eccentricity is not, as dull people would have us believe, a form of madness. It is often a kind of innocent pride, and the man of genius and the aristocrat are frequently regarded as eccentrics because genius and aristocrat are entirely unafraid of and uninfluenced by the opinions and vagaries of the crowd. - Edith Sitwell (1887 - 1964), Taken Care Of ,1965
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. - Herm Albright (1876 - 1944)
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true. - James Branch Cabell (1879 - 1958), The Silver Stallion, 1926
The point of living and of being an optimist, is to be foolish enough to believe the best is yet to come. - Peter Ustinov (1921 - 2004)
Getting ahead in a difficult profession requires avid faith in yourself. That is why some people with mediocre talent, but with great inner drive, go much further than people with vastly superior talent. - Sophia Loren (1934 - )
Eccentricity is not, as dull people would have us believe, a form of madness. It is often a kind of innocent pride, and the man of genius and the aristocrat are frequently regarded as eccentrics because genius and aristocrat are entirely unafraid of and uninfluenced by the opinions and vagaries of the crowd. - Edith Sitwell (1887 - 1964), Taken Care Of ,1965
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. - Herm Albright (1876 - 1944)
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true. - James Branch Cabell (1879 - 1958), The Silver Stallion, 1926
The point of living and of being an optimist, is to be foolish enough to believe the best is yet to come. - Peter Ustinov (1921 - 2004)
Getting ahead in a difficult profession requires avid faith in yourself. That is why some people with mediocre talent, but with great inner drive, go much further than people with vastly superior talent. - Sophia Loren (1934 - )
Handley_Page
Draco interdum Vincit
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Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!
Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.
Are your parents siblings?
As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
Better at sex than anyone; now all he needs is a partner.
Calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people.
Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?
Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?
Do you want people to accept you as you are or do you want them to like you?
Don't you have a terribly empty feeling - in your skull?
Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?
He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.
He's not stupid; he's possessed by a retarded ghost.
Here's 20 cents. Call all your friends and bring back some change!
Hi! I'm a human being! What are you?
How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?
I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it.
I could make a monkey out of you, but why should I take all the credit?
I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!
I heard you went to have your head examined but the doctors found nothing there.
I know you are nobody's fool but maybe someone will adopt you.
If your brain was chocolate it wouldn't fill an M&M.
Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent.
Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!
Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.
So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.
Some day you will find yourself - and wish you hadn't.
There is no vaccine against stupidity.
Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.
Are your parents siblings?
As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
Better at sex than anyone; now all he needs is a partner.
Calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people.
Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?
Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?
Do you want people to accept you as you are or do you want them to like you?
Don't you have a terribly empty feeling - in your skull?
Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?
He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.
He's not stupid; he's possessed by a retarded ghost.
Here's 20 cents. Call all your friends and bring back some change!
Hi! I'm a human being! What are you?
How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?
I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it.
I could make a monkey out of you, but why should I take all the credit?
I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!
I heard you went to have your head examined but the doctors found nothing there.
I know you are nobody's fool but maybe someone will adopt you.
If your brain was chocolate it wouldn't fill an M&M.
Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent.
Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!
Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.
So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.
Some day you will find yourself - and wish you hadn't.
There is no vaccine against stupidity.
StrangeLife
Eater of beef
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Handley_Page
Draco interdum Vincit
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Zeb_Carter
.-- - ..-.
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It's amazing that now each industry has its own type of screw, so you really never have the right driver in your toolbox and always have to go out and buy the one you don't have. And once the saturation level of the new type is reached, they create a new one. And once again you don't have the right driver.
Flat blade, phillips head, hex head, triangle head, torx head, square head, hell too many to list....
http://2.imimg.com/data2/GN/HE/MY-3019979/types-of-screw-drives-500x500.jpg
Now lets see how many different ones you have in your toolbox...
Me...flatblade, phillips, torx, that's it.
StrangeLife
Eater of beef
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As a Mac owner my toolbox contains the mandatory Philips #00, torx T6 & T5, tri-wing Y-1 and the infamous pentalobe.
BuckyDuckman
Literotica Guru
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Yeah, but what if you start counting different sizes of those same screwdrivers, Zeb? I easily have over half a dozen each of phillips, straight head, torx, and hex head if I include "standard" sizes and precision drivers. Only one of the square head, though. Needed that one for deck screws.
Zeb_Carter
.-- - ..-.
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Of course when I said my toolbox contains the first three you mentioned, I did mean in several sizes. Only one driver, with interchangeable heads. So I have multiples of each and a set of hexhead wrenches. I also have a set of torx heads, sizes include T3, T5, T6, T7, T10, T20.
SandraMustard
Literotica GYLF
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I find nothing humorous in this discussion about your tool sizes. Maybe that's a good thing. 
StrangeLife
Eater of beef
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I find nothing humorous in this discussion about your tool sizes. Maybe that's a good thing.
C'mon - it's about screwing. What can be more uplifting than that?
StrangeLife
Eater of beef
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StrangeLife
Eater of beef
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StrangeLife
Eater of beef
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StrangeLife
Eater of beef
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oggbashan
Dying Truth seeker
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I have the dreaded x in the box.
Weird Harold
Opinionated Old Fart
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Like Ogg, I don't get an image displayed. I get a "403 Not Permitted" error if I click the link directly.
But, if I paste that URL into a new tab's address bar I get the image.
That leads me to believe that the image is blocked for any linkage associated with Lit.
CarlusMagnus
Literotica Guru
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- Feb 6, 2011
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Like Ogg, I don't get an image displayed. I get a "403 Not Permitted" error if I click the link directly.
But, if I paste that URL into a new tab's address bar I get the image.
That leads me to believe that the image is blocked for any linkage associated with Lit.
The site doesn't allow hot-linking. Copying the link and pasting into a new tab or a different browser is the workaround for such sites.
Handley_Page
Draco interdum Vincit
- Joined
- Aug 18, 2007
- Posts
- 78,287
I keep getting this:-
We did not find results for de 03 cdn z5o adb... because SafeSearch is active and your query contains some restricted word(s). Try the suggestions below or type a new query above.
Safe Search is very disinclined to change!
We did not find results for de 03 cdn z5o adb... because SafeSearch is active and your query contains some restricted word(s). Try the suggestions below or type a new query above.
Safe Search is very disinclined to change!
