The Penis Monologues

[KillerMuffin]

Okay, I just got a gushing yay-Vagina-Monologues email from a friend in a large city who just participated. It was whacko.

Vaginas are cool, true. I am rather fond of my own. However, in my view, the penis is a work of art.

So dish guys. Give us the Penis Monologues. You have a rapt audience.

 

[Rubyfruit]

i agree, muffie, the penis is a work of art, one worthy of worship.

let's hear it boys.

 

[HeavyStick]

So dish guys. Give us the Penis Monologues. You have a rapt audience.

Hmmm.

I'll need to get drunk before sculpting my schlong.

 

[HeavyStick]

i agree, muffie, the penis is a work of art, one worthy of worship.

let's hear it boys.

Right after you turn your meat curtains into fleshy origami.

 

[Rubyfruit]

Re: Re: The Penis Monologues

Hmmm.

I'll need to get drunk before sculpting my schlong.

what would it take to get you to make a mold of it and cast your own dildo?

 

[HeavyStick]

Re: Re: Re: The Penis Monologues

what would it take to get you to make a mold of it and cast your own dildo?

Hmmm. Sculpted or hard?

 

[PoliteSuccubus]

You know guys, tell a true and/or amuseing story about your lil friend.

I will tell you a story that my Uncle told me:

"So when I was like 27 I got this hard on that wouldn't quit. I mean it lasted for three fucking days. At first I was like "yay!" and I wore (wife) out! But then it still wouldn't go away. I couldn't cum, couldn't pee, my dick hurt, my bladder hurt, my back hurt...So I go to the doctor and you know how the nurse checks you out frist? She had the coldest hands I've ever seen on a woman. She touched it once and not only did it deflate, it retreated into my body like a snail exposed on a rock!"

 

[Ishmael]

I think it's the complex curves. Like a fine ship, or an aircraft. There is a certain aero/hydro-dynamic quality about the shaft.

Virtually every nation on the face of the earth has fashioned it's great national symbols after the penis. France has the Eiffiel tower. We have the Washington Monument (one wonders why, he fathered no children). England has the tower of London, Russia the towers of the Kremlin (Now there's a phallic symbol if one's ever seen one).

Besides the penetrative symbology, there is the eruptive symbology. No wonder the south sea islanders worshipped volcanoes. Unable to create a technology that allowed them to create their own phallic symbols, they gravitated to nature.

The first step forward in the movement of man to defend, and attack, was based on the penis. The spear of course. A simple weapon that allowed us to bring down the mighty mammoth with a dick. One would say that we fucked our way foward.

Now, that is not to belittle the vagina. Pits have their uses. But if we're honest with ourselves we have to concede that they're passive tools. Who ever heard of a pit chasing anyone down (The late eightie's and the ninties excepted, but that's a recent developement and unproven.)

Great aquaducts are based on the magical properties of the penis. Look at any fountain for the artistic quality.

Even the sword and gun are but technologially advanced adaptations of the penis. Even space exploration, one only has to read Vonegut and "The Great Space Fuck" to understand the ramifications.

The penis was God's great invention.

Ishmael

 

[Rubyfruit]

The penis was God's great invention.

i'd have to agree with you here, ish.

 

[Ishmael]

i'd have to agree with you here, ish.

I hate it when you do that Ruby.

Ishamel

 

[bknight2602]

Okay, I just got a gushing yay-Vagina-Monologues email from a friend in a large city who just participated. It was whacko.

Vaginas are cool, true. I am rather fond of my own. However, in my view, the penis is a work of art.

So dish guys. Give us the Penis Monologues. You have a rapt audience.

So share it with us.

 

[Debbie]

These guys amaze me with their penis tricks.
(Warning background is a very bright yellow)

http://www.puppetryofthepenis.com/

 

[Rubyfruit]

I hate it when you do that Ruby.

Ishamel

lol... right.

 

[BlueSugar]

i love peni

Sometimes i have such bad penis envy

 

[sevine67]

i love peni

Sometimes i have such bad penis envy

ok Joke:
Adam and Eve standing in the Garden of Eden, God looks down upon them and says, I have a surprise for you both.
The first is the ability to pee while standing up.... Adam jumps up and down "Me, me, me on please ME!!" and the Lord blesses him

God looks into the bag and says to Eve, sorry my child the only thing left is multiple orgasms....

 

[Ishmael]

And the colors. Have you noticed the colors?

You've heard of the old term of being "born to the purple?" When's the last time you've seen a purple vagina? What would you do with it?

The subtle rose and angry red hues. The contrast of the veinal to the arterial. The Tourniquette effect (a great medical observation).

Perhaps if history had payed as much attention to the vagina as the penis, our technology would be far different. (Quite frankly, I don't think we'd have ever come up with the Tourniquette and many would still bleed to death.)

Look at modern tunneling machines. Damn. The mind runs rampant. Where's Glam when ya need him?

Ishmael

 

[Ishmael]

ok Joke:
Adam and Eve standing in the Garden of Eden, God looks down upon them and says, I have a surprise for you both.
The first is the ability to pee while standing up.... Adam jumps up and down "Me, me, me on please ME!!" and the Lord blesses him

God looks into the bag and says to Eve, sorry my child the only thing left is multiple orgasms....

Lifes a bitch. The Pig got the orgasm that lasted 20 minutes. Shit.

Ishmael

 

[Rubyfruit]

These guys amaze me with their penis tricks.
(Warning background is a very bright yellow)

http://www.puppetryofthepenis.com/

i wanna see penis tricks.

 

[Ishmael]

And look at the implications of the phrase, "I took it out and played with it."

Ishmael

 

[Debbie]

i wanna see penis tricks.

Your wish is my command! *wink*
http://www.geocities.com/sheepishdruid/spt1.html
http://www.grownmencry.com/hhh/99SPTCal.html

I googled and went penis shopping. lol
http://www.penisresearch.com/penisshopping.htm



I have seen the video and a documentary
on the Puppetry of the penis.
Rather interesting.

 

[Rubyfruit]

I googled and went penis shopping. lol
http://www.penisresearch.com/penisshopping.htm



I have seen the video and a documentary
on the Puppetry of the penis.
Rather interesting.

hey, that's what heavy needs to make me a dildo.

what channel was that show on?

 

[HeavyStick]

hey, that's what heavy needs to make me a dildo.

what channel was that show on?

I answered you on your cell phone thread.

 

[Ishmael]

hey, that's what heavy needs to make me a dildo.

what channel was that show on?

He's carving his own.

Ishmael]

 

[Sideshow Bob]

He's carving his own.

Ishmael]

He can use a knife? He's Jewish, right?

Sideshow 'having fun yet' Bob

 

[hogjack]

What would that penis pack I wonder?

My penis has recently brought up the idea of taking separate vacations.

I'm torn by this. I want to be flexible and acknowledge its needs. And this could strengthen our relationship in the long-run giving us each an opportunity to grow.

I just don't know.