Dave's Zombie Proof Bunker and Refuge for Unattached Wimmens
- Thread starter Chaingun
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Chaingun
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I love mashed!!!
Chaingun
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We're under attack....
The sky is falling...
Oh, wait.... it's only snowing. I hate snow. Now I'm all cold.
Snow? Hallucinating? Cabin fever? You've only been here a few days, but it doesn't snow in central Florida. Yikes.
(Like the bob cut, btw.)
Chaingun
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For ALL the appendages!!!
Chaingun
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Woohoo, I'm riding a motorcycle that I found out in the woods. It's a pretty fast dirt bike that tears across the fields, splashes through the ditches, and jumps every little hump I can find.
As I approach the bunker, I speed up. I think I can jump the moat.
In the air, I realize that I don't have enough speed and crash into the berm on the other side in a splash of peppermint schnapps and zombie guts. Gross!
Damn! The bike is ruined and I'm hurt. Something in my stomach is really hurting and I think there's a dent in my head. Ugh.
I think I'll just lie here and take a nap. Geez, that was dumb.
As I approach the bunker, I speed up. I think I can jump the moat.
In the air, I realize that I don't have enough speed and crash into the berm on the other side in a splash of peppermint schnapps and zombie guts. Gross!
Damn! The bike is ruined and I'm hurt. Something in my stomach is really hurting and I think there's a dent in my head. Ugh.
I think I'll just lie here and take a nap. Geez, that was dumb.
Ellafun
Just Visiting This Planet
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Wow. That was dumb. But funny as hell to watch from up here in the lookout perch. Wish I'd had my video camera rolling for that.
You need us to fish you out of there and get you some first aid, Evel Knievel?
TongueLust
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MaxSmith
Yes, that was sarcasm.
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OH, thank goodness it wasn't snow. It's the stress of the zombies I guess. ::sigh:: I don't do well with stress. Any suggestions?
Thanks... I actually clicked the wrong pic to be the avatar and didn't realize I'd put it up. I had just had a foot long braid (literally 12 inches) of hair cut off to donate.)
WhipLuvr
Lost Inside My Own Mind
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Oh for fuck's sake Dave. I should just let you lie there for a while, let you learn your lesson.
After a dash through the bunker to grab supplies I'm standing on the edge of the moat, swinging a lasso over my head.
"Arms up if you can."
The lasso goes over one shoulder and tied tight on the other end to a rung on the gate. I'm plenty strong enough to pull him up, even though he's heavier than me and certainly not helping anyways. Once his legs get up on dry land I tie the rope off again and walk up. Dave's helpless, soaked in stinking alcohol with his eyes screwed up tight. I lean over him, pull a bottle from my pocket, pry one lid open and squeeze clean saline into each eye.
"You need to be more careful. A LOT more careful."
One more haul on the rope till its slack, then I retreat into the bunker to get the showers running hot and the fans on full blast.
RubenesqueAphrodite
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Good lord, no kidding... *holds nose* as Dave and Whip make their way back inside.
"Here," I say as I hand a bar of my homemade goat milk soap to Dave as he walks by. "Use this. It will get you cleaner than any frilly bath gel you put back there for us girls. It won't dry your skin, but *cough ack cough* it will take away that smell."
sereneone4u
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Okay, now I want a hot eager dominating male and steak dinner.
Where the hell are both at three thirty in the morning?
DappleDoxie
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There is some bacon left ... I'll get that started along with the coffee
Good to meet you, Niam ;-))
What is on the agenda today, Dave??
Chaingun
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*hobbles into the kitchen*
Today's agenda is rest. Healing. Not moving much and hoping that this broken rib and these bruises are better by tomorrow or I can't go foraging on Monday.
The dent in my head is a bit sensitive too. But Whip patched me up fairly well. I'm sure I'll be ok. I think.
I could stand some biscuits and bacon if y'all have any left.
Otherwise, I'm just going to sit here and draw pictures with the hand that doesn't look like a bird claw. I'm sure that will heal too, right?
Chaingun
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Okay, now I want a hot eager dominating male and steak dinner.
Where the hell are both at three thirty in the morning?
In my current condition, I can pull of the male part. And maybe find some left over steak. Sorry I'm not much use to you.
RubenesqueAphrodite
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Note to self: I like Italian Roast over French Roast.. ok...got it.
*Slurps down mug #2 of the ambrosia and looks around*
I need to use my super power of telepathy today since I can not use my voice. I hope that everyone here's me CLEARLY when they realize the not-so-little-voice inside their heads is me
Thinking VERY LOUDLY, I close my eyes GOOD MORNING EVERYONE!
I open my eyes, and everyone looks at me. Oh Goody! It worked, they heard me!! *giggles*
I sit and smile sweetly, but then the illusion disappears as as I gulp down my coffee in a very unladylike manner.
Suddenly everyone turns to me again, eyes wide in shock. I'm at a loss as to what's wrong, then remember what I was thinking about while slurping the coffee down.
*blushes*
I really need to keep those thoughts to myself.
*Slurps down mug #2 of the ambrosia and looks around*
I need to use my super power of telepathy today since I can not use my voice. I hope that everyone here's me CLEARLY when they realize the not-so-little-voice inside their heads is me
Thinking VERY LOUDLY, I close my eyes GOOD MORNING EVERYONE!
I open my eyes, and everyone looks at me. Oh Goody! It worked, they heard me!! *giggles*
I sit and smile sweetly, but then the illusion disappears as as I gulp down my coffee in a very unladylike manner.
Suddenly everyone turns to me again, eyes wide in shock. I'm at a loss as to what's wrong, then remember what I was thinking about while slurping the coffee down.
*blushes*
I really need to keep those thoughts to myself.
Chaingun
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Come sit by me and un-stress-ify. I may need company. I hear that you shouldn't let a head injury case sleep, but if that's the case, I've been getting regular sleep for 46 years so you shouldn't put too much stock in that old wive's tale.
That is mighty generous of you to donate your hair. Locks of Love?
Chaingun
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Note to self: I like Italian Roast over French Roast.. ok...got it.
*Slurps down mug #2 of the ambrosia and looks around*
I need to use my super power of telepathy today since I can not use my voice. I hope that everyone here's me CLEARLY when they realize the not-so-little-voice inside their heads is me
Thinking VERY LOUDLY, I close my eyes GOOD MORNING EVERYONE!
I open my eyes, and everyone looks at me. Oh Goody! It worked, they heard me!! *giggles*
I sit and smile sweetly, but then the illusion disappears as as I gulp down my coffee in a very unladylike manner.
Suddenly everyone turns to me again, eyes wide in shock. I'm at a loss as to what's wrong, then remember what I was thinking about while slurping the coffee down.
*blushes*
I really need to keep those thoughts to myself.
Gosh, but you've got some dirty thoughts rattling around in there, don't you?
Funny stuff too. What's up with the high school teacher you hated and the goat? Is that something that really happened, or something you wish would have happened?
DappleDoxie
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Always enough, Dave
Okay ... lots more pillows and blankies in the Play Room, set up the popcorn machine and the DVD's. we'll get you healed up ... just so we can all *Thwopppp* you for being so dang dumb and hurting yourself.
What are you going to draw, Dave
Chaingun
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You can tell I'm not a real backwoods type southerner 'cause I forgot to yell, "Hey y'all, watch this!"
RubenesqueAphrodite
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I put on a lead helmet until I can get a handle on my new power (lol). Absolutely no need for anyone "hearing" about how they used to call me "jingles" on the basketball team, or that time I had to sleep in the boys' hotel room on the church handbell trip....
Chaingun
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Ooooh, can we have a handbell recital later? I'm already hearing bells and I'd like to hear something with a better melody than the random dissonance that I am dealing with right now.
There is some bacon left ... I'll get that started along with the coffee
Good to meet you, Niam ;-))
Nice to meet you too!
The kitchen smells WONDERFUL!
Bacon and coffee make everything better. Definitely gets some to Dave....restorative powers of bacon are astonishing.
Chaingun
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Bacon and coffee make everything better. Definitely gets some to Dave....restorative powers of bacon are astonishing.
I can't drink coffee, my father who was a doctor said that it would stunt my growth.
BUT, I loves me some bacon!!!
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