The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[Handley_Page]

And Bill Cosby is seen face palming from a ringside seat.

I put in a cold pitcher of Hawaiian Punch!

and the "contender" in the Heavyweight division collapses in a heap


I put in some more (English) rain.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and the "contender" in the Heavyweight division collapses in a heap


I put in some more (English) rain.

and it falls mainly on the plain.

I put in the just man's umbrella...

 

[SailorJerry]

and it falls mainly on the plain.

I put in the just man's umbrella...

and the local Woman's Liberation organisation demand to know why it's just men that may use it!

I put in a bra burning.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and the local Woman's Liberation organisation demand to know why it's just men that may use it!

I put in a bra burning.

and it's quickly stamped out by a Boy Scout.

I put in a Second Cup...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and it's quickly stamped out by a Boy Scout.

I put in a Second Cup...

And, I fill it full of whisky for you.

I put in a shaker.

 

[Handley_Page]

And, I fill it full of whisky for you.

I put in a shaker.

who awaits the second Awakening


I put in a tub of ice

 

[Tio_Narratore]

who awaits the second Awakening


I put in a tub of ice

and you get a bath to cool your ardour.

I put in a bottle of Moet & Chandon...

 

[SailorJerry]

and you get a bath to cool your ardour.

I put in a bottle of Moet & Chandon...

Which the Bowery Bums mix with Pepsi until they declare it drinkable.

I put in a wild night of drinking hooch, under the viaduct.

 

[stickygirl]

Which the Bowery Bums mix with Pepsi until they declare it drinkable.

I put in a wild night of drinking hooch, under the viaduct.

and the runaway train came down the track and she blew, she blew, she blew

I put in five fat men in a banya

 

[Handley_Page]

and the runaway train came down the track and she blew, she blew, she blew

I put in five fat men in a banya

and they all went on a very sudden diet of bananas and coconuts
[what's a banya ?]


I put in a new bait-runner fishing reel.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and they all went on a very sudden diet of bananas and coconuts
[what's a banya ?]


I put in a new bait-runner fishing reel.

and you lure out all the trolls.

I put in a 7.5 hp trolling motor...

(I presume Jane is referring to a Russian sauna.)

 

[Handley_Page]

and you lure out all the trolls.

I put in a 7.5 hp trolling motor...

(I presume Jane is referring to a Russian sauna.)

but the weed-cutter prop fails.


I put in a new 24v battery.

 

[SailorJerry]

but the weed-cutter prop fails.


I put in a new 24v battery.

Which makes one Lister Engine very happy.

I put in a free oil change.

 

[Handley_Page]

Which makes one Lister Engine very happy.

I put in a free oil change.

but the extra strain breaks the con rod.



I put in a Gardner's twin.

 

[stickygirl]

but the extra strain breaks the con rod.



I put in a Gardner's twin.

but there are separated at birth and live different lives

I put in a wooden spitfire propeller

( Tio was right )

 

[Handley_Page]

but there are separated at birth and live different lives

I put in a wooden spitfire propeller

but where the old one had three blades, this has only one.


I put in a carbon-fibre propeller for a canal boat.

 

[Noor]

but where the old one had three blades, this has only one.


I put in a carbon-fibre propeller for a canal boat.

and you get tangled in high test fishing line

I put in a piece of siding

 

[SailorJerry]

and you get tangled in high test fishing line

I put in a piece of siding

But it must be for the other side of the barn, cause it's only painted on the back side. (?)

I put in a manual screwdriver that only goes counterclockwise. (for the record, it IS a Robertson).

 

[stickygirl]

But it must be for the other side of the barn, cause it's only painted on the back side. (?)

I put in a manual screwdriver that only goes counterclockwise. (for the record, it IS a Robertson).

but you just get cross at the thread

I put in two trolls holding hands

 

[Tio_Narratore]

but you just get cross at the thread

I put in two trolls holding hands

and the trolls stroll off into the sunset.

I put in un ogre sous le Pont d'Avignon...

 

[stickygirl]

and you get something like the billy-goat gruff

I put in putin

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and you get something like the billy-goat gruff

I put in putin

and you get 'chips' and cheddar curds smothered in brown gravy.

I put in an all dressed steamee...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get 'chips' and cheddar curds smothered in brown gravy.

I put in an all dressed steamee...

but the clothes are in a pile by the door.


I put in a dead fishing reel

 

[Tio_Narratore]

but the clothes are in a pile by the door.


I put in a dead fishing reel

and you catch your limit of dead fish.

I put in a party boat...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you catch your limit of dead fish.

I put in a party boat...

but the booze is not on board.


I put in a small lifeboat full of booze