Signs that you spend way too much time on Literotica.

[LaRascasse]

You are proud to make the 100th post of your own thread
(Excluding OP)

 

[lovecraft68]

I'm terrified whenever my mom borrows my computer. I have Lit as a bookmark, but marked as 'Feedback'. Just like my porn is labeled 'fun'

I have spent too much time here and being a perv in general because I don;t give a rats ass who sees what on my computer and left up all the covers of my e-books that I have printed and hung on the wall in my office fully knowing the minister to my wife's lame ass new wave church was coming over.

 

[lovecraft68]

You know you spent too much time here when your 19 year old daughter says she is moving into an apartment with three other female students and it becomes an act of will to forget about every plot bunny that would enter your mind if it wasn't your daughter.

 

[LaRascasse]

Just couldn't resist this one.

-When you go on a date with a girl named Lana, you start off by pointing out her name is "anal" spelt backwards.

 

[oggbashan]

When posting on the Forums takes time you should be using for writing.

 

[mynameisben]

Just before you fall asleep at night, you see 100 different images of Maj's ass.

 

[mynameisben]

You've given a name to the little scrubby pads you use to clean under your toilet bowl rim. You call them Scouries.

 

[Cruel2BKind]

You've given a name to the little scrubby pads you use to clean under your toilet bowl rim. You call them Scouries.

That's what I call the toilet cleanser, great minds think alike

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

You see a celebrity on TV and think of the stories that you could write....despite never reading the tabloids.

Your boss lady is an extremely hot Middle Eastern girl and you wonder what category a story about her would fit best in. Particularly a grudge-fuck tale where you give it to her good and hard.

You avoid the TV show "Wifeswap" because it sounds like false advertising. Then you think of plot bunnies for a real "Wife Swap" show.

 

[fuckwaffle]

I don't know if I can really contribute to this thread, I haven't been here all that long, but...

When you read or hear about something you would have never thought of, sexual that is, and it becomes a constant earwig in your mind until you write about it. (Yes I do have some stories to tell, but not here, not yet.)

When you are listening to a song, doesn't matter where, and it pops a story into you head that you simply must write or go crazy.

Now, I have been a long time reader here and I can tell you I have read some pretty kinky stuff. Stuff, I can now hardly wait to try, but know I shouldn't, so I'll write about them instead.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

When you look at Lit and realize that the norm here is the polar opposite of that in most environments....thus making you realize even more than before how bass ackwards "respectable society" really is. You wish the real world was more like Lit.

 

[mynameisben]

Your granddaughter asks you if you want to see her toys and you get a boner.

 

[glynndah]

Eww, Ben!

 

[fuckwaffle]

Your granddaughter asks you if you want to see her toys and you get a boner.

Freak-a-soid!

 

[Anomandaris]

You wake up at 4:30 am due to bio reasons, and end up spending half an hour on the Lit forums...

 

[LaRascasse]

You walked a girl through her first masturbation over chat, just based on the descriptions you have read here.

You sometimes get the random urge to bump this thread.

 

[bashfullyshameless]

*You are terrified of introducing your wife to your boss, because you know that he'll demand she have sex with him or you'll lose your job.

*Anytime you come home and your S.O. has a friend over, you immediately suspect a threesome is in the offing.

*You start wondering if you've been reading rulers wrong all this time. (8 inches? Really?)

*Your partner wants to use a condom and you immediately complain that he/she has ruined your suspension of disbelief.

*Pornographic photos feel incomplete without at least ten words of text. There's gotta be an actual story here!

*Someone asks you to read or write two pages of anything, and you fear you'll be at it all night because pages are so very, very long.

 

[LaRascasse]

You see porn scenarios all around you.

 

[Euphony]

You find blue and white to be the most pleasing background for websites. It just feels "homey" you think.

 

[lovecraft68]

When you go to a fair and see a tent with a sign that says "face painting"

and once inside you become very disappointed.

 

[sun_sea_sky]

When you go on a date with a girl named Lana, you start off by pointing out her name is "anal" spelt backwards.

Damn! I've been listening to the Roy Orbison song "Lana". It looks like I'm going to have to pay closer attention to the lyrics next time.

 

[MSTarot]

You're talking to someone and you mention that you write short stories. She ask about your latest story and after maybe a minute of you telling her you look up to see that her eyes are the size of dinner plates.

After a few seconds you realize most people probably don't discuss anal sex with their brother in laws wife.

Well fuck it she asked!

M.S.Tarot

 

[lovecraft68]

*You are terrified of introducing your wife to your boss, because you know that he'll demand she have sex with him or you'll lose your job.

*Anytime you come home and your S.O. has a friend over, you immediately suspect a threesome is in the offing.

*You start wondering if you've been reading rulers wrong all this time. (8 inches? Really?)

*Your partner wants to use a condom and you immediately complain that he/she has ruined your suspension of disbelief.

*Pornographic photos feel incomplete without at least ten words of text. There's gotta be an actual story here!

*Someone asks you to read or write two pages of anything, and you fear you'll be at it all night because pages are so very, very long.

I ran into one of these a couple of weeks ago. My best friend asked me if I could come over after work and help him and his wife start packing for their upcoming move.

I get there and he's not there and here's his wife(very attractive woman BTW) sitting on the couch in a little pair of shorts and a tank top and I ask where he is and get

"Oh, he has to work late, but he said to feel free to start without him"

 

[King_of_Fulfolk]

Refreshing the Author's thread, when I should be writing, in vain hope someone else is playing on the three threads I follow mostly. SBT

 

[King_of_Fulfolk]

And, of course, that my name is always in the 'Last Post' column.