Bits and pieces

[y=mx+b]

thank you! I do; after all, aim to please. Sometimes anyway. The occurrence tonight was purely coincidental.

oh shit, replied too soon. This reply goes with the edited in quoted reply you replied to me with.

 

[y=mx+b]

and look! we're on the next page!

no pics to see here folks. carry on... carry on.

 

[Vixxennn]

You pretty much always please me... whether it's aimed or not.

Unless you disappear for too long...

 

[DeepRedLips]

because I've been all talk and business lately it's time to stfu and post some pics. Besides I need a break from thinking. I got to cleaning house a bit and well... here's some pics! Some may have been seen... or at least versions of them anyway. No matter...

About damn time I catch a break on this thread.

 

[y=mx+b]

You pretty much always please me... whether it's aimed or not.

Unless you disappear for too long...

you mean like when I do what I'm about to do again right now?

 

[Vixxennn]

you mean like when I do what I'm about to do again right now?

Fucking tease.

Hopefully this doesn't mean a month without a word.

 

[y=mx+b]

About damn time I catch a break on this thread.

what do you mean! I'm always giving you somewhat not really ever any preferential treatment just like all the rest!

 

[y=mx+b]

and lit is being slow as shit for me tonight and I'm a man of action so... later yo.

 

[auslittaketwo]

I was looking at my phone while that first shot downloaded and i quickly glanced at the screen then back at my phone then did a double take when i realised what the photo actually was. Nomtastalicious.

 

[DeepRedLips]

what do you mean! I'm always giving you somewhat not really ever any preferential treatment just like all the rest!

Yeah, yeah. I bet you say that to all the girls.

 

[shadysmurfette]

Grins.

Me= a pleased smurfette.

 

[y=mx+b]

If I weren't going to bed right now I'd probably stay up and tell you all about having just fucked my wife. It'll have to wait until tomorrow evening. Let's hope I don't end up losing interest. I'll tell you what... keep the hope alive by guessing how it ended. Granted... it's no guarantee, but it can't hurt. Besides... I'm old and can't keep on carrying this thread all by myself. I'm going to need a successor.

 

[shadysmurfette]

Due to a bout of slight insomnia (bad idea to drink that French Vanilla and Dark Chocolate coffee mix) I decided to log on and well your last post made me get all tingly and a little amused.I am a voyeur, so hearing anyone saying anything about their fucking escapades gets me going but I digress...

Mmmmmm. Now to the question at hand.I am assuming you mean where your cum was last deposited after what was, I am imagining, a gloriously delicious fuck session with your sexy spouse? I want two attempts. Was it in her ass or her mouth?


ps please don't be a scrooge. Remember to share that story. I mean it is the season of giving. What can I say? I am perv and I like hearing the plot for the movie I am going to make of you and your wife in my head.

 

[auslittaketwo]

I however like to pretend you don't fuck your wife and you save all your angsty jizz for us

but my guess is the boobies

 

[y=mx+b]

back in my college days I took a womens studies psychology class which was actually a pretty goddamn good class that; much to the chagrin of the batshit hardline feminists, did not cater to any batshit hardline feminist propaganda... or give them easy A's.

but I kinda digress... sorta. not really, just don't know how to get to my next point so... moving on...

one day the professor (a 50-60 year old, 5', 110lb, powerhouse of matter-of-factuality) walked up to the 4' tall podium and asked the class, "when does sex end?"

the already quieting room fell collectively quiet as we all pondered the question and as we pondered it we all collectively pondered why the fuck we had never pondered this question before causing us all (individually) to feel really stupid, yet profoundly fucking awesome for taking the class for have we never taken the class we all probably would have trudged through life having never really pondered the fucking question. Seriously... it was actually dubbed "The Fucking Question".

The answer (as concluded by general consensus)? When the man's finished.

Which... from there on out came to be the "42" of our woman's psych class.


But is that how last night ended? Or the night before (actually day because we didn't get home until 4am from a Christmas party and we were both tired and horny as fuck)? Yes both ended the very same way. Twice.

Twice you ask?

yes... twice... and my head is going all loop d'loop trying to figure out a convoluted way to explain that basically I came, then she came... which come to think of it is pretty much exactly the way it is... though much of the time I orgasm last because... well... it's when sex ends... for me anyway... because you know... I'm a guy and that's how much of the time we have no choice to roll.

BUT! Here's a little something something about something of an idea that I thought of, threw out there on a whim one night, and has since been one of the more favorite ways for her to "bring her self off"

and it's fucking hot as fucking all get out... and oh so simple... which of course it is because I'm a man, and by being so I'm damned to a life of being simple in thought. wah-wah- wah...

okay... now fucking pay attention. Particularly those of you who are interested in getting dicked in the ass but are too afraid to make the leap, or attempted to make the leap and it felt good up-until-it-started-to-hurt-like-fuck, AND for the one hetero guy that mistakenly clicked on my thread or still clicked on my thread in hopes that for whatever reason there'd be naked chicks in it... yeah you! Pay attention because this is what all those analsex 101 books don't tell you (least the ones I've entertained myself with in the past)

now the same 101 rules apply (to begin with): Slow, lots of lube, and communication. Okay? Okay. Now here's the story...

So I'm fucking my wife one night and I got to thinking... I'd really like to fuck her in the ass tonight, but we really hadn't discussed it beforehand so my chances are probably nil... and fuck her pussy feels too good. So I got to riding her hard. But I couldn't shake the desire... no matter! She's sweating, I'm sweating and I'm like "GODDAMN IT!" and that's when something about something told me something and I thought "fuck... that just might be an awesome as fuck idea Mr. Something about something that makes me think of these things!"

and so I said to my wife... "WIFE! I saith to thee... what doth thine think of thee idea of me sticking my cock up your ass after I cum inside your vagina?"

And she saith back... "Doth thine thinkith it'll work?"

and I think... when does sex end again?

42.

and say... "oh... it will."

fast forward through the pulling her head back by her hair, blowing my load up inside her womb, making a quick grab for the lube and vibrator and it's go time...

time is of the essence (only at first... for me... or so I have found out)

she's got her vibe in hand, spreads her knees apart, bends over, and I'm like "please please please don't let this be a quick-to-go-soft night" and lube myself up, lube her up and commence trying to stuff a softening hard-on up her ass.

now... if wasn't the self-effacing individual that I am I'd be all "Oh... and I stuffed my raging-tempered-by-the-heat-of her-pussy marble-hard diamond-cutter of a cock straight up her asshole..." right now. But fuck it. Reality if fucking funny as fuck. So on with it...

...and I seriously am trying to somehow thread my softening dick up her ass with my fingers but everything is all lubed up and my pituitary gland or one of it's asshole cousins is like "dude... um... refractory?" and I'm like "FUCK YOU... IT'LL WORK! IT'LL WORK!!!"

and just then... the head goes in, and I'm like... "okay... now this is cool." and my wife is like "oh my god..." and my pituitary or whatever was like "", and my cock is like "whoa whoa whoa here... I kinda like this..." and I manage to slide even more into her... and more... and more... and before I knew it I was balls deep inside her ass. And she's like "oh... my... god..."

Now... by body is like... "time to pull back to push it! time to pull back to push in!" But my cock was like... "hold on fuckhead I ain't 19 any more and neither are you so fucking chill a bit." And I was like... "yeah fucking body... you know it took a bit more work than usual to get him where he's at fucking chill!" and my pituitary or whatever was like ""

okay... enough of the funny stuff. here's the real deal of what it's like... which I feel you all can pretty much deduce on your own because you all are smart fuckers. It is true sex is done for guys after orgasm. And I mean DONE. No drive, no desire, no nothing... but also... it really kinda isn't because the idea of sex is still there, it just has to trudge through a bunch of bullshit to get back to the forefront. Even practiced it's a bit of work.

Physically speaking... softer dick ='s not so much a pain in the ass. Softer dick also ='s heightened perception of sensation... and I mean HEIGHTENED because when she started climaxing her asshole clenched down around my cock like no fucking tomorrow! It was so strange... and so fucking hot. And pulling out? fuck... we were tied... it's the only way to explain it because yeah it's soft... but it's also semi-erect still, and in due time... well... things begin to re-awaken, and when it happens and you're cock is balls deep in ass it's kinda like... well, like a cock-ring.

and yeah... last night and the night before.

 

[y=mx+b]

now last night...

I managed to keep my dick out of her ass... though as she rode me from on top I told her that sometimes I like to think that we're putting on a show for another guy who wanted to watch a couple fuck in his bed. I told her how, with her on top of me, facing me like she was that she wouldn't be able to see me summon the man over with my finger...

 

[isseii]

back in my college days I took a womens studies psychology class which was actually a pretty goddamn good class that; much to the chagrin of the batshit hardline feminists, did not cater to any batshit hardline feminist propaganda... or give them easy A's.

but I kinda digress... sorta. not really, just don't know how to get to my next point so... moving on...

one day the professor (a 50-60 year old, 5', 110lb, powerhouse of matter-of-factuality) walked up to the 4' tall podium and asked the class, "when does sex end?"

the already quieting room fell collectively quiet as we all pondered the question and as we pondered it we all collectively pondered why the fuck we had never pondered this question before causing us all (individually) to feel really stupid, yet profoundly fucking awesome for taking the class for have we never taken the class we all probably would have trudged through life having never really pondered the fucking question. Seriously... it was actually dubbed "The Fucking Question".

The answer (as concluded by general consensus)? When the man's finished.

Which... from there on out came to be the "42" of our woman's psych class.


But is that how last night ended? Or the night before (actually day because we didn't get home until 4am from a Christmas party and we were both tired and horny as fuck)? Yes both ended the very same way. Twice.

Twice you ask?

yes... twice... and my head is going all loop d'loop trying to figure out a convoluted way to explain that basically I came, then she came... which come to think of it is pretty much exactly the way it is... though much of the time I orgasm last because... well... it's when sex ends... for me anyway... because you know... I'm a guy and that's how much of the time we have no choice to roll.

BUT! Here's a little something something about something of an idea that I thought of, threw out there on a whim one night, and has since been one of the more favorite ways for her to "bring her self off"

and it's fucking hot as fucking all get out... and oh so simple... which of course it is because I'm a man, and by being so I'm damned to a life of being simple in thought. wah-wah- wah...

okay... now fucking pay attention. Particularly those of you who are interested in getting dicked in the ass but are too afraid to make the leap, or attempted to make the leap and it felt good up-until-it-started-to-hurt-like-fuck, AND for the one hetero guy that mistakenly clicked on my thread or still clicked on my thread in hopes that for whatever reason there'd be naked chicks in it... yeah you! Pay attention because this is what all those analsex 101 books don't tell you (least the ones I've entertained myself with in the past)

now the same 101 rules apply (to begin with): Slow, lots of lube, and communication. Okay? Okay. Now here's the story...

So I'm fucking my wife one night and I got to thinking... I'd really like to fuck her in the ass tonight, but we really hadn't discussed it beforehand so my chances are probably nil... and fuck her pussy feels too good. So I got to riding her hard. But I couldn't shake the desire... no matter! She's sweating, I'm sweating and I'm like "GODDAMN IT!" and that's when something about something told me something and I thought "fuck... that just might be an awesome as fuck idea Mr. Something about something that makes me think of these things!"

and so I said to my wife... "WIFE! I saith to thee... what doth thine think of thee idea of me sticking my cock up your ass after I cum inside your vagina?"

And she saith back... "Doth thine thinkith it'll work?"

and I think... when does sex end again?

42.

and say... "oh... it will."

fast forward through the pulling her head back by her hair, blowing my load up inside her womb, making a quick grab for the lube and vibrator and it's go time...

time is of the essence (only at first... for me... or so I have found out)

she's got her vibe in hand, spreads her knees apart, bends over, and I'm like "please please please don't let this be a quick-to-go-soft night" and lube myself up, lube her up and commence trying to stuff a softening hard-on up her ass.

now... if wasn't the self-effacing individual that I am I'd be all "Oh... and I stuffed my raging-tempered-by-the-heat-of her-pussy marble-hard diamond-cutter of a cock straight up her asshole..." right now. But fuck it. Reality if fucking funny as fuck. So on with it...

...and I seriously am trying to somehow thread my softening dick up her ass with my fingers but everything is all lubed up and my pituitary gland or one of it's asshole cousins is like "dude... um... refractory?" and I'm like "FUCK YOU... IT'LL WORK! IT'LL WORK!!!"

and just then... the head goes in, and I'm like... "okay... now this is cool." and my wife is like "oh my god..." and my pituitary or whatever was like "", and my cock is like "whoa whoa whoa here... I kinda like this..." and I manage to slide even more into her... and more... and more... and before I knew it I was balls deep inside her ass. And she's like "oh... my... god..."

Now... by body is like... "time to pull back to push it! time to pull back to push in!" But my cock was like... "hold on fuckhead I ain't 19 any more and neither are you so fucking chill a bit." And I was like... "yeah fucking body... you know it took a bit more work than usual to get him where he's at fucking chill!" and my pituitary or whatever was like ""

okay... enough of the funny stuff. here's the real deal of what it's like... which I feel you all can pretty much deduce on your own because you all are smart fuckers. It is true sex is done for guys after orgasm. And I mean DONE. No drive, no desire, no nothing... but also... it really kinda isn't because the idea of sex is still there, it just has to trudge through a bunch of bullshit to get back to the forefront. Even practiced it's a bit of work.

Physically speaking... softer dick ='s not so much a pain in the ass. Softer dick also ='s heightened perception of sensation... and I mean HEIGHTENED because when she started climaxing her asshole clenched down around my cock like no fucking tomorrow! It was so strange... and so fucking hot. And pulling out? fuck... we were tied... it's the only way to explain it because yeah it's soft... but it's also semi-erect still, and in due time... well... things begin to re-awaken, and when it happens and you're cock is balls deep in ass it's kinda like... well, like a cock-ring.

and yeah... last night and the night before.

I'm totally fucking printing this out and taking it to bed tonight. Well maybe not, he is a man and it would require reading something similar to directions. Maybe I'll just print it out and draw up a stick figure diagram to go along with it. Either way, I seriously need this!

 

[y=mx+b]

I'm totally fucking printing this out and taking it to bed tonight. Well maybe not, he is a man and it would require reading something similar to directions. Maybe I'll just print it out and draw up a stick figure diagram to go along with it. Either way, I seriously need this!

it really is amazing. and if I am to be honest right now; truth be told I was a bit disappointed with anal sex the first time we tried it and even after my wife advanced far into her pornstar analwhore status, it never... I don't want to say that it never felt as good as I thought it would feel... but it kinda really didn't. But this... going in semi-erect and gradually growing harder (but not diamond hard) inside her and feel her asshole convulse around me throughout the duration of her climax is fucking outstanding.

 

[isseii]

it really is amazing. and if I am to be honest right now; truth be told I was a bit disappointed with anal sex the first time we tried it and even after my wife advanced far into her pornstar analwhore status, it never... I don't want to say that it never felt as good as I thought it would feel... but it kinda really didn't. But this... going in semi-erect and gradually growing harder (but not diamond hard) inside her and feel her asshole convulse around me throughout the duration of her climax is fucking outstanding.

Oh yeah, he'll totally go for that. Sometimes he'll pull out and just press the head of his cock against my asshole when he cums, so it seems like a pretty natural progression from there. Not sure what in the hell he gets out of that...but I like it so I haven't bothered asking.

 

[Wife of Bath]

it really is amazing. and if I am to be honest right now; truth be told I was a bit disappointed with anal sex the first time we tried it and even after my wife advanced far into her pornstar analwhore status, it never... I don't want to say that it never felt as good as I thought it would feel... but it kinda really didn't. But this... going in semi-erect and gradually growing harder (but not diamond hard) inside her and feel her asshole convulse around me throughout the duration of her climax is fucking outstanding.

You make a girl want to grow a penis. And then find an awesome wife.

 

[DeepRedLips]

You make a girl want to grow a penis. And then find an awesome wife.

I love this. It kinda does.

 

[shadysmurfette]

You make a girl want to grow a penis. And then find an awesome wife.

Yes.

or


Watch...

But maybe that is just me.....

 

[auslittaketwo]

Were you really drunk or high when you wrote that? Because it was hilarious to read, even if slightly difficult. Interesting idea, almost like a hard to control inflatable anal dildo.

I didn't find it hard to get past the grabbing hold of her hair while you unload into her womb though.... giggedy

 

[y=mx+b]

Were you really drunk or high when you wrote that? Because it was hilarious to read, even if slightly difficult. Interesting idea, almost like a hard to control inflatable anal dildo.

I didn't find it hard to get past the grabbing hold of her hair while you unload into her womb though.... giggedy

nope. that's me 24/7 365.25. ask around, it's the honest truth.

 

[y=mx+b]

and for further proof...

a snippet from an actual email I sent my wife earlier today. You're kinda walking in the middle of it but the one prior to this referenced too much personal information so you have to just fucking go with it.


after having thought more about it all, the more I like the idea of it all happening. ...including the spaghetti "check to see if it's done" bit.

I'm seeing your wrists tied above your head to the pipes running the the length of ceiling. You'd be blindfolded and wearing your fishnets. I'd walk around you... but not touch you... not yet. Not until I felt you felt you were alone... and then I would touch you.

It would be a very light touch... just the tip of my index finger kissing across the nipple of your breast. By that time the spaghetti will have sufficiently cooled under the cold running water of the sink. You would next hear me turning the water off and setting up the counter... laying down a towel to dry off the spaghetti giving it just the right amount of stick.

Taking one or two strands between my thumb and forefinger I'd walk over to you... softly... quietly... so close to you that my touch would be implied but would not actually take place. Slowly I'd bring the strands of spaghetti up the center of your body... letting them glide up between your naked breasts, up your neck, across your lips, then along the exposed underside of your arms.

I would then step back and drape the strands over your breasts and let them stay as I took hold of a couple more which I would softly swing in the space between you and I... having them lick across your nipples... each time becoming just a bit more stickier than the last...

no lie.
She has yet to respond one way or the other.