The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[Austin8]

and you get a 2/5" channel.

I put in a masked ball...

it just falls off soon as the game resumes

I put in a cone wrench

 

[Tio_Narratore]

it just falls off soon as the game resumes

I put in a cone wrench

and you get a well-tightened scoop of ice cream.

I put in a wench's cunny...

 

[Austin8]

and you get a well-tightened scoop of ice cream.

I put in a wench's cunny...

and you get a tour of scholastic England

I put in a 26.4 NOS Cinelli stem

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and you get a tour of scholastic England

I put in a 26.4 NOS Cinelli stem

and the AR appraiser identifies it as pre 1964 and suggests you insure it for the cost of entry to the Tour de France.

I put in a battered Schwinn touring bike...

 

[Austin8]

and the AR appraiser identifies it as pre 1964 and suggests you insure it for the cost of entry to the Tour de France.

I put in a battered Schwinn touring bike...

Lol my battered Schwinn was a Varsity.

and you find it's not as tasty as a battered onion ring

I put in a cycling cap autographed by Ole Ritter

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Lol my battered Schwinn was a Varsity.

and you find it's not as tasty as a battered onion ring

I put in a cycling cap autographed by Ole Ritter

and you get the tale of the "Ol' Knight Upon the Road."

I put in a Ritter that says "Knecht..."

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get the tale of the "Ol' Knight Upon the Road."

I put in a Ritter that says "Knecht..."

and the Ritter pours intro a new clean glass.


I put in a crate of it (Dortmunder Ritter Bier)

 

[pathology_liz]

and the Ritter pours intro a new clean glass.


I put in a crate of it (Dortmunder Ritter Bier)

and Marco Pantani (God rest his soul) and the entire peloton (lit. meaning =little ball) fall around drunk

I put in a alpine pass

 

[pathology_liz]

please excuse my indulgence

how many freudian psychoanalysis therapists does it take to change a light bulb.

2.

One to change the light, the other to hold his cock,,,mother,,,fuck,,, THE LADDER!

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and Marco Pantani (God rest his soul) and the entire peloton (lit. meaning =little ball) fall around drunk

I put in a alpine pass

and you find yourself hiking the Mt. Titlis glacier.

I put in a leisurely funicula ride...

 

[pathology_liz]

and you find yourself hiking the Mt. Titlis glacier.

I put in a leisurely funicula ride...

but people don't seem to like it?

I put in a hiatus.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

but people don't seem to like it?

I put in a hiatus.

and the hiatus ends pathologically.

I put in a little resurrection...

 

[pathology_liz]

and the hiatus ends pathologically.

I put in a little resurrection...

and I cannot help but think that a "little" resurrection is an off key juxtaposition?

I put in an 1883 E. Remington and Sons typewriter.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and I cannot help but think that a "little" resurrection is an off key juxtaposition?

I put in an 1883 E. Remington and Sons typewriter.

and it gets shot by a Winchester 1873 Repeater.

I put in an Olivetti-Underwood Portable elite...

 

[pathology_liz]

and it gets shot by a Winchester 1873 Repeater.

I put in an Olivetti-Underwood Portable elite...

PORTABLE! yeech. have you ever seen a sexy typing pool girl with a portable! ()

now that I've got that off my chest x.

your portable gets lost in transportation.

I put in an expensive fountain pen (handed down from my Grandfather, so be gentle please.)

 

[Tio_Narratore]

PORTABLE! yeech. have you ever seen a sexy typing pool girl with a portable! ()

now that I've got that off my chest x.

your portable gets lost in transportation.

I put in an expensive fountain pen (handed down from my Grandfather, so be gentle please.)

and it goes on display next to my Cross Stylograph, 1895.

I put in a well full of real India ink...

 

[pathology_liz]

and it goes on display next to my Cross Stylograph, 1895.

I put in a well full of real India ink...

and we are a step away from henna.

I put in the film The Pillow Book. (and a flight of fantasy)

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and we are a step away from henna.

I put in the film The Pillow Book. (and a flight of fantasy)

and as you lay there watching, a poet quietly loads his brush from a Japanese ink block and senuously limns an ode directly on the skin it praises.

I put in a litanical verse of 1001 ways to use a pillow...

 

[pathology_liz]

and as you lay there watching, a poet quietly loads his brush from a Japanese ink block and senuously limns an ode directly on the skin it praises.

I put in a litanical verse of 1001 ways to use a pillow...

AND EVERY LAST ONE IS STUFFED UP YOUR RED SUIT TO MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE SANTA!

a whispered use of inappropriate typography.

I put in a false cotton wool beard

 

[Tio_Narratore]

AND EVERY LAST ONE IS STUFFED UP YOUR RED SUIT TO MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE SANTA!

a whispered use of inappropriate typography.

I put in a false cotton wool beard

and the VM rejects it, demanding that only real cotton be used to make wool beards.

I put in a collection of Santanagrams...

 

[pathology_liz]

and the VM rejects it, demanding that only real cotton be used to make wool beards.

I put in a collection of Santanagrams...

and you get a joke. Santa Satan and Santana walk into a pub, and the Barman says...

I put in a Bollywood Princess.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and you get a joke. Santa Satan and Santana walk into a pub, and the Barman says...

I put in a Bollywood Princess.

and all the men in the bar offer to teach her American Yab-Yum.

I put in the thirteen positions known only to the emperor...

 

[pathology_liz]

and all the men in the bar offer to teach her American Yab-Yum.

I put in the thirteen positions known only to the emperor...

But now in these days of Wikileaks then EVERYONE knows them, and NO-ONE cares.

so now the Emperor is now "The Last Emperor"

 

[Tio_Narratore]

But now in these days of Wikileaks then EVERYONE knows them, and NO-ONE cares.

so now the Emperor is now "The Last Emperor"

and the VM slyly laughs, knowing that it knows the one way even the Emperor doesn't know.

I put in a photo of Sun Yat-Sen

 

[pathology_liz]

and the VM slyly laughs, knowing that it knows the one way even the Emperor doesn't know.

I put in a photo of Sun Yat-Sen

and you gain a plethora of oxymorons

Imperial governments
Communist democracy
Revolution resulting in freedom
Nationalism that doesn't hurt the people

I put in peace and longevity