A Genuine Question about the S/M Life

[jomar]

I assure you theyre plenty enough out there. They'll send you home minus some pieces of your anatomy and think nuthin of it.

I saw some on TV yesterday in a show about gangs (Aryan Circle, Hell's Angels, ect).

 

[PoppingTom]

Ah! The Great Pretender has entered the building.

You're much less a pretender, more an elephant in a porcelain shop.

And you're a masochist in posting.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

STELLA

I may be the most laid-back human you'll ever meet; it takes a lot to flutter my sails. I mean, the odds of any malevolence coming our way are small. Yet people are murdered or carved up or run-over or burglard or mugged all the time. Get yourself jailed and the odds go way up.

So, though the odds of spending a little quality time with Jack the Ripper are tiny, the number of people who meet Jack is huge. He's out there stalking his quarry and setting his snares, and checking them. If you wanna catch a tuna you gotta go where the tuna play.

 

[Stella_Omega]

James is just saying BDSM is more about showmanship than sadism. I agree, I know sadism doesn't have any real place in the BDSM 'community'. "How would you know about our community, LAROCHA?!" Well you claim you have a community on this site, I can read your posts, troubles, and conversations too.

You are quite the passive agressive, aren't you?

Literotica's AH forum is not my BDSM community-- that is something I do in real life, with real people, face-to-face-- or other body parts to other body parts, as the case may be

If you define "sadism" as the kind of cruelty that the Marquise fantasised about while he was in jail for his political views, then you are nearly right-- his ideas have nothing to do with consensuality or pleasure. If "cutting testicles off" is your only definition for sadism, then sure-- I am no sadist. But by those standards, only a serial rapist has actually had real sex. I wonder how you would feel if the "showmanship" included a dozen wooden clothespins attached to the testicles (that you know I would never detach from your body)-- for as little as ten minutes. Not to mention, removing them. Whee!

But, here, have some windows into my community;
one of my favorite sites for hardcore hetero BDSM focussing on women.
I have no comparable hardcore site to device bondage that shows men, I wish I did, but this is nice and thinky;
http://malesubmissionart.com/


Thoughts of a dominant woman

and there are a few stories on my archive; http://stellaomega.com

I mean, the odds of any malevolence coming our way are small.

Yet the odds of you interrupting a conversation by screaming about it-- are large.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I like this image. It shows real love, in a BDSM context, and also, a really gorgeous steel collar.
http://maybemaimed.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/eileenmaymayfloatingworldportrait.jpg

 

[PoppingTom]

one of my favorite sites for hardcore hetero BDSM focussing on women.

I accept that this is your sexual style, but, to be honest, I get a tickle in the inner side of my bones by watching this.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

STELLA

I think the real test is: HOW COMFORTABLE AM I REVEALING MY BDSM KINK TO A COURT FOR PURPOSES OF CHILD CUSTODY?

The DSM4 sez HEY! COME ON IN THE WATER'S FINE, but shrinks dont decide child custody issues; judges decide, and if they get the idea you kinda like to bleed and invite birds of a feather into your home, they might get the wrong idea about you. Courts dont make fine distinctions between folks who make other folks bleed.

 

[TxRad]

STELLA

I may be the most laid-back human you'll ever meet; it takes a lot to flutter my sails. I mean, the odds of any malevolence coming our way are small. Yet people are murdered or carved up or run-over or burglard or mugged all the time. Get yourself jailed and the odds go way up.

So, though the odds of spending a little quality time with Jack the Ripper are tiny, the number of people who meet Jack is huge. He's out there stalking his quarry and setting his snares, and checking them. If you wanna catch a tuna you gotta go where the tuna play.

As usual you have no idea of the conversation. The part of your comments i highlighted red has nothing to do with BDSM.

Your definition of S & M have nothing to do with BDSM which was the OP's interest. As usual, you are so far over the top as to be ridiculous.

The last paragraph above has some relevance but that is why we have communities and rules both spoken and unspoken. You have no idea about the BDSM community, which is why you were literally tossed out of the BDSM forum. Your whole hog or nothing views show your ignorance and intolerance.

Go play somewhere else so this discussion can get back on track.

 

[TxRad]

STELLA

I think the real test is: HOW COMFORTABLE AM I REVEALING MY BDSM KINK TO A COURT FOR PURPOSES OF CHILD CUSTODY?

The DSM4 sez HEY! COME ON IN THE WATER'S FINE, but shrinks dont decide child custody issues; judges decide, and if they get the idea you kinda like to bleed and invite birds of a feather into your home, they might get the wrong idea about you. Courts dont make fine distinctions between folks who make other folks bleed.

Again, this has no relevance to the discussion. Go start your own thread.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Go fuck yourself unless, of course, youre made of sturdier stuff than lard, chicken legs, and hot air.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

As usual you have no idea of the conversation. The part of your comments i highlighted red has nothing to do with BDSM.

Your definition of S & M have nothing to do with BDSM which was the OP's interest. As usual, you are so far over the top as to be ridiculous.

The last paragraph above has some relevance but that is why we have communities and rules both spoken and unspoken. You have no idea about the BDSM community, which is why you were literally tossed out of the BDSM forum. Your whole hog or nothing views show your ignorance and intolerance.

Go play somewhere else so this discussion can get back on track.

TEX? Can we talk? You always assume you know whats going on but you rarely do. Youre like the ghost who moves thru library stacks and nuthin sticks.

 

[Stella_Omega]

STELLA

I think the real test is: HOW COMFORTABLE AM I REVEALING MY BDSM KINK TO A COURT FOR PURPOSES OF CHILD CUSTODY?

The DSM4 sez HEY! COME ON IN THE WATER'S FINE, but shrinks dont decide child custody issues; judges decide, and if they get the idea you kinda like to bleed and invite birds of a feather into your home, they might get the wrong idea about you. Courts dont make fine distinctions between folks who make other folks bleed.

Two words;
Internet Pseudonymity.
another pair of words;
Adult Children.

Child custody is not my concern. It was, for twenty years-- and your comment certainly illustrates a major problem, in that people with children are not supposed, in this current society, to have personal adult privacy.

oh! Another couple words for you;
Tampa Florida.

Go peddle your taintstain worldview elsewhere.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I accept that this is your sexual style, but, to be honest, I get a tickle in the inner side of my bones by watching this.

Good way to put it!

That site, for me, is totally fantasy-- nothing I am willing to undergo in reality-- but those bodies look sooo good in extremis.

(no, it does not bother me to "admit" my limits.)

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Two words;
Internet Pseudonymity.
another pair of words;
Adult Children.

Child custody is not my concern. It was, for twenty years-- and your comment certainly illustrates a major problem, in that people with children are not supposed, in this current society, to have personal adult privacy.

oh! Another couple words for you;
Tampa Florida.

Go peddle your taintstain worldview elsewhere.

Put me on ignore, dear. Take your own advice.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Put me on ignore, dear. Take your own advice.

Would that make all your pain go away? No, it would not.

You need to change jobs, and probably change your meds as well.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Would that make all your pain go away? No, it would not.

You need to change jobs, and probably change your meds as well.

Youre better than old SNL re-runs with Gilda Radner.

I'm not laughing with you, I'm laughing at you.

 

[Stella_Omega]

It can be as simple as this;
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kv7w54dhTC1qzs83zo1_r1_500.jpg

 

[TxRad]

TEX? Can we talk? You always assume you know whats going on but you rarely do. Youre like the ghost who moves thru library stacks and nuthin sticks.

This has got to be one of the funnest things you've ever written.

You really don't have a clue do you?

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

TEX
I know, I know, if you werent a lady you'd really set me straight.

 

[TxRad]

TEX
I know, I know, if you werent a lady you'd really set me straight.

JB Baby, your slip is showing again. If you have nothing relevant to say, then you try to insult me as usual.

Please try and keep up with the big kids when you can.

 

[xssve]

It runs the gamut - ultimately, it's all in your head, how "real" it has to be is a constant topic of discussion.

Fortunately, there really are no "rules", not like there are in the vanilla world, where everybody has their nose in everyone else's business.

 

[Freefall_mc]

LA...I realize this thread was seeking more knowledgeable input, but did you have any idea how deep this box would be once you opened it?!

For me, some very insightful stuff here. I am pretty lost in what differenciates SM from DS. First impressions, I always assumed SM rooted from unhealthy psychological factors; and resulted in selfishness and lack of any consideration for any other, the deliverer or recipient in physical situation. I tended to separate DS for the most part.

I'm wondering if what contributes to physical arousal has any relevance. I mean, if one is turned on, in (nonsexual) circumstances of intense pressure, aggravation, sense of threat, or prevailance; would that dictate what type of gratification would satisfy, within scopes of using it as a coping mechanism?

And what if those needs were different depending the accompanying gender? Maybe it's as simple as being pissed off at one gender or the other.

I think I'm going to have to reread those whole thread. Though confusing, I'm sure I missed some answers here.

 

[Guest]

People are wired differently.

One person is turned on by white cotton panties and short skirts, someone else wants leather thongs and body piercings.

One person may wish for the complete romantic experience - candlelight, music, sensual foreplay for hours, for example - someone else may want a wild, rough, fast fuck against the shower wall.

Or maybe they want all of it, just different days, different moods.

Why should it matter that one person gets a rush from being restrained, being spanked, then hair pulled back and mouth roughly fucked? Or that someone else gets a rush from doing those things to them?

Why are there so many different story categories on Lit?

Because people are wired differently.

 

[xssve]

It's always going to be confusing, because it means so many different things to so many different people, who basically have in common the fact that it's all "kinky".

There are distinct factions, there are male supremacists, but in general, the "community" as a whole is less obsessed with gender than the average - again, the only thing making it a "community" is that it's a bunch of people who have an interest in going beyond the role of soccer Mom, or NASCAR Dad, i.e., this whole other identity, a purely sexual, sensual identity you have to hide from the rest of the world because mommies and daddies aren't supposed to be "kinky", they're supposed to be like interchangeable parts in the whole labor market making machine, spitting out obedient little consumers.

Different people require different types and levels of stimulus, some women have very sensitive skin, others almost no sensation at all, nature does not pay any particular attention to ensuring that everyone conforms to an "average" that's purely a social construct, it doesn't really exist.

The details become less important, it's about whatever you need to get into "the zone", and there are as many different ways of doing that as there are people.

And possibly of interest, studies indicate people into BDSM have a lower incidence of depression and mental illness, whereas married women have the highest rates of clinical depression - sort of makes you wonder who the real sadists are.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I use a lot of my clinical experiences in my stories. My latest features a co-ed abandoned by her date miles from town, then drugged, raped, and beaten by a good samaritan who offers her a ride.

The incident is based on what happened to one of my clients: He went to a bar, net 2 couples, and went home with them. They drugged him, sodomized him, took his clothes, and dumped him naked in the medium of a major highway.

The assclowns want you to think its all fun and games. And few consider where there heads will be in 10 years or what sort of consequences await the discovery of your freaky holidays. I mean, as it is if 2 high school kids , 17 & 18, fuck one of them is a sexual predator according to the law.

SARAH talks about how things oughta be when there is only HOW THINGS ARE, and you can bet the farm SARAH wont be leading the parade for reform. Like everyone else she prefers that you do it.