The "I Didn't Get Laid Today" Thread

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I didnt get laid today or yesterday either, Mrs. Popcorn is sick and missing work... I would never expect her to put out in her condition, but I wouldnt turn it down either.
 
well as this weekend i stayed at home (nor did the bf travel) no sex for me (nor him)
 
gf terribly hungover after last night and behaved appallingly (not in a fun way) so no sex for her and by consequence me...
 
Nope. I didn't even get to chat up the girl I fancy because I volunteered to help transport risers to and from the theatre. (She did help load, but I'm not sure that counts for anything because 1) she's on Riser Committee, same as me, and 2) she disappeared the moment we had everything loaded.)

(Hell, I doubt she'll reciprocate. It's not even, "I know what it looks like when a girl fancies me," 'cuz I don't. It's, I know what it looks like when a girl doesn't fancy me, and, well...)

(Also, evidently not getting laid makes me use British parlance.)
 
Didn’t get laid today?

I’m away from home so much, that if I get it more that twenty times in a year, it reminds to purchase new tires for my car.

The reason being; I consider it, a “GOOD YEAR“.
 
Sigh. Cruel Facebook, which misled me. I saw "Current City: [city near me]" and believed it. Turns out the lass lives in Idaho, which is approximately as "near me" as is the moon.

Still, it's fun to reconnect with people you haven't seen for more than a decade.
 
Damn! Sorry I missed this the other day, I think. Any warts on you Lance?

None as lovely as yours, Hon. I remembered you saying something about you in your birthday suit, coming up and knew you were going to have a B'day soon. I noticed it today and made sure you were remembered. If I could be with you and share a magical night of lovemaking with you, I would see a smile on your face from wart to wart. Hope the real thing comes your way soon, till then, I'll share a fantasy session with you.
 
None as lovely as yours, Hon. I remembered you saying something about you in your birthday suit, coming up and knew you were going to have a B'day soon. I noticed it today and made sure you were remembered. If I could be with you and share a magical night of lovemaking with you, I would see a smile on your face from wart to wart. Hope the real thing comes your way soon, till then, I'll share a fantasy session with you.

Oh, how nice. This might just turn out to be a great birthday after all. Will that fantasy begin in the North tower?
 
Oh, how nice. This might just turn out to be a great birthday after all. Will that fantasy begin in the North tower?

I'll be standing there watching for your arrival. When you arrive, the master's chambers await with a down bed and a warm fire. Your beauty will grace the room and offer me a moment to reflect on how you have made my life a little more perfect. I will share all that I can offer you and leave your heart filled with happiness at having had this time together. I stand waiting for you......
 
I'll be standing there watching for your arrival. When you arrive, the master's chambers await with a down bed and a warm fire. Your beauty will grace the room and offer me a moment to reflect on how you have made my life a little more perfect. I will share all that I can offer you and leave your heart filled with happiness at having had this time together. I stand waiting for you......

Oh, my dear Lancelot. I am eager to touch your bulging muscles and to feel your warmth against my emerald skin. I'm on my way. Stoke up the fire..........
 
Oh, my dear Lancelot. I am eager to touch your bulging muscles and to feel your warmth against my emerald skin. I'm on my way. Stoke up the fire..........

The fire in my hearth and in my heart are stoked and awaiting you. Fly swiftly and let me wait no more.
 
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