Bad taste jokes

[RawHumor]

Jomar, you forgot the greatest one of all...

What do you call an Irish woman with no legs and no arms on the porch?

What?

 

[MonkeyFootball]

A truck driver is hauling a load of bowling ball across West Virginia when he spots a young black child pushing a bike up the road. He passes the kid and goes on up the road to a truck stop for some fuel and food.

When he gets back on the interstate he sees the young kid still pushing his bike. Feeling bad for the kid he pulls over and offers him a ride. He tells the boy that he has to ride in the trailer but if he agrees he will get a ride to where ever he is going. The kid says OK and they load him and his bike in the trailer and off they go.

A few miles later the driver is stopped at a DOT scale station. The scale master sees that the truck is about 10,000lbs over weight and smiles at the state trooper that had stopped by to talk. “I got this one dead to rights! Be rite back”

He walks up to the drive and tell him to open the trailer but the driver refuses. After a few tense moments the scale master walks to the back of the truck and opens the trailer doors himself. He looks inside, closes the door and turns to the driver and says “I don’t care how fast you go just get this fucking truck out of my state and do it now!”

When he walks back inside the scale house the state trooper asks him what he was doing letting that driver go. The scale master turns to the trooper and says “That man had a trailer full of nigger eggs and one done already hatched and stole a bicycle!”

 

[jomar]

Jomar, you forgot the greatest one of all...

What do you call an Irish woman with no legs and no arms on the porch?

Ha!..

 

[RobDownSouth]

This isn't so much a joke but it made me laugh anyway.

We were out playing golf yesterday and I swear one guy in our foursome was excusing himself to go relieve himself about every 4th hole.

The third time it happened, my partner yelled "For Christ's sake, Tom, you piss on the Bushes more than the New York Times!"

 

[Daedalus77]

A man sees a boy run down by a car in front of a Catholic church. He runs to the boy and says "I think you may die. Do you want me to get a priest?". The boy says "You BASTARD! How can you think about sex at a time like this!".

 

[Peregrinator]

What?

Patty O'Furniture.

 

[Karen Kraft]

A man sees a boy run down by a car in front of a Catholic church. He runs to the boy and says "I think you may die. Do you want me to get a priest?". The boy says "You BASTARD! How can you think about sex at a time like this!".

Q: What is the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?
A: Acne waits until you're 13 to come on your face.

 

[Karen Kraft]

Q: Why did Hitler kill himself?
A: He got the gas bill. ​

 

[torchthebitch]

.....

 

[The Mutt]

A Priest and a Rabbi are walking down the road.

They see a boy bending over to tie his shoe.

The Priest says, "Man, I'd like to fuck him."

The Rabbi says, "Out of what?"

 

[Karen Kraft]

There was a virgin who wanted to marry a farmer boy.

One day, she went to his parent's house for dinner. When they got done eating dinner, they decided to go for a walk through the pasture.

While they were walking, they came upon 2 horses that were mating. She looks at them with wonder because she has never seen anything like this before.

She asks the boy, "What are they doing?"

He says, "They're making love."

"Well, what's that long thing he's sticking in there?" she asked.

"Oh, uh, that's his rope," he answered.

"Well, what are those two round things on the other end?" she asked.

He says, "Those are his knots."

She says, "Oh, OK, I got it."

As they continue their stroll, they come to a barn and go in. She looks at him and says, "I want you to make love to me the way those animals were."

Surprised and excited, the boy agrees.

While they are getting at it all hot and heavy, she grabs his balls and squeezes.

"Whoa, what are you doing?" he shouts.

The girl innocently replies, "I'm untying the knots so I'll get more rope!"

 

[Karen Kraft]

What's pink and red and silver and crawls into walls?
A baby with forks in its eyes. ​

 

[mark197205]

Rolf Harris is doing the artwork for the upcoming Michael Jackson tour, as a thank you Jacko is doing two little boys at the end of each gig...

 

[Karen Kraft]

How do you get a baby out of a tree?
You give a Mexican a stick and tell him it's a piñata! ​

 

[Karen Kraft]

Q)What did the the hotdog vendor at the bottom of the WTC say?
A)Who ordered the 2 jumbo's?

 

[slapsht25]

Q)What did the the hotdog vendor at the bottom of the WTC say?
A)Who ordered the 2 jumbo's?

very tasteless

 

[Englandboy2]

Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

 

[Spence99]

Q: What do 50,000 battered women have in common?

A: They don't fucking listen.

 

[The Mutt]

Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

Wicked.

 

[Karen Kraft]

very tasteless

Should have put mustard.

 

[John Doe]

Q: What do 50,000 battered women have in common?

A: They don't fucking listen.

That reminds me another one...

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing. You already told her twice.

 

[akatrex]

How do you keep the Black kids from jumping on the bed.

Vecro the Ceiling!




How do you get them down?

Tell the Mexican Kids they are piñata's

 

[tinylittlegnat]

whats the first thing a battered woman does when she gets back from the hospital?

the god damn dishes if she knows what good for her!



whats the worst part of running a baby over with your car?

cleaning them off your tires!



why do you put a baby in the blender feet first?

to see the expression on their face!


how do you fit 25 jews in a vw bug?

2 in the front seat 2 in the back and 21 in the ash tray

 

[tinylittlegnat]

jesus walks into a hotel hands the inn keeper 3 nails and asks "can you put me up for the night?


steve - my grandfather served and died in WWII and died in aushwitz.

bob - thats horrible. how did he die?

steve - he fell off the guard tower


what do you call 8 black men hanging from a tree?

a missisippi wind chime



what do you call a sitcom about 5 friends in a new york coffee shop?

fucking boring


what do you do with 365 used condoms?

melt them down into a tire and call it a good year

 

[crash197177]

There's this 90 year old Jewish guy living in a nursing home. He has no family still alive. One day he wins $100million in the lottery. His friend at the home come over to him and ask "Saul! Saul! Congratulations! What are you gonna do with the money?" Saul steps back and says "Well Hershey, first I'm gonna give half of it to the Nazi Party." Hershel yells "What! Are you crazy? You can't do that! There's all kinds of good causes and charities to give money to. Hell, we could use the money here at the nursing home for cryin out loud. "I'm still giving half of it to the Nazi Party" Saul says again. "Why Saul!? Why would you give half of the money to the Nazi Party"

Saul pointed to his arm and said "Because they gave me the numbers"

If I didn't get this joke from a Jewish friend I would never repeat it.