Bad taste jokes

[Le Jacquelope]

Heard in the spring of 2008:

"My wife asked me to take her some place expensive. So I took her to the gasoline station..."

 

[Karen Kraft]

My wife asked me to make love to her like in the movies.

So I fucked her in the ass and came on her face. Now she's pissed.



I guess we don't watch the same movies.

Hahahahaha.

I like that one.

 

[pabloback]

whats the difference between a truckload of babies and a truck load of ping pong balls?


you cant unload the pingpong balls with a pitchfork

 

[unregistered]

 

[Karen Kraft]

Why is it easier to carry two girls than two boys?


You can carry the girls like 12-packs.

 

[unregistered]

 

[Karen Kraft]

Now, one from the diplomatic corps:

Salman Rushdie was on a train and it pulled into a station.

He saw Yasser Arafat and his entourage of bodyguards and was so overcome with the emotion of seeing his great hero, he raced to embrace him.

But the bodyguards weren't very well versed in modern literature and had no idea who he was.

So they shot him dead, thus proving the value of that old adage:

Never go for a Shi'ite while the train is in the station!

 

[xander1083]

I was a bit curious on those picture!

 

[pabloback]

Now, one from the diplomatic corps:

Salman Rushdie was on a train and it pulled into a station.

He saw Yasser Arafat and his entourage of bodyguards and was so overcome with the emotion of seeing his great hero, he raced to embrace him.

But the bodyguards weren't very well versed in modern literature and had no idea who he was.

So they shot him dead, thus proving the value of that old adage:

Never go for a Shi'ite while the train is in the station!

if only it were true

 

[KingOrfeo]

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her when she was bad?

They re-arranged her bedroom.

And when she was really bad, they left a plunger in the toilet!

 

[unregistered]

 

[unregistered]

 

[unregistered]

 

[HornyHenry]

Tijuana

Here in California, guys have been treking down to Tijuana, Mex. for quite a while, to buy cheap goods cheaply, drink too much, dance, pick up ho's, get laid, whatever. It is a time honored tradition for many young guys.

One such group of guys was in TJ in a dimly bar, doing what guys do, drinking too much. They spotted a hot little chicka across the room wearing a short skirt that left little to the imagination.

1st guy, "Hey, that's nice red pussy hair on that girl over there!"

2nd guy, "That's not red. It's black hair. Can't you see?"

3rd guy, "No, you're both wrong. It's brown hair. Anyone can tell that."

So, they couldn't agree and they paid a little Mexican kid to go ever and sneak under her table and come back to tell them what color her hair was.
He did and soon came back to report.

1st guy, "Well, was it RED?"

Kid, "No, senior."

2nd guy, "Then it was black, right?"

Kid, "No, senior."

3rd guy, "I knew it. It's brown, right?"

Kid, "No, senior. Flys."

 

[Karen Kraft]

There are three people at a bar. One is Mexican, one is Iraqi and the other is American. The Mexican gets a beer drinks it then he throws the glass in the air takes out his pistol and shoots it to pieces. He says in Mexico glass is so cheap we do not need to drink out of same glass twice. Then the Iraqi gets a beer and drinks it. He also throws it in the air and takes out his AK47 and shoots it to pieces. He says in Iraq we have so much sand that we too do not need to drink out of same glass twice. Then the American gets a beer and drinks it and throws the glass up. He then shoots the Mexican and Iraqi and catches the glass and says, "In America we have so many fucking illegal aliens that we don’t need to drink with the same ones twice.

 

[John Doe]

How many rape victims does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Five. One to screw in the lightbulb and four to sit in the corners and cry.

 

[Karen Kraft]

How many rape victims does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Five. One to screw in the lightbulb and four to sit in the corners and cry.

Hahahahahahahaha.

Very good.

 

[Peregrinator]

What goes "thump, thump, thump" and hates sex?

 

[jomar]

whats the difference between a truckload of babies and a truck load of ping pong balls?


you cant unload the pingpong balls with a pitchfork

Dead baby jokes are the best!

Okay, here's the punchline...let me know if you need the setup:

Candy

Matt

Bob

Art

Sandy

Claude

Frank and Patti

Ilene...Irene

Consuelo

The wheels get in the way!

Curt n Rod.

Skip.

Homer.

Jack

Russell

Stew

Mike

 

[jomar]

Okay, here they are:

# What do you call a paraplegic woman on an island with cantibles?
A: Candy

# Q: What do you call a paraplegic at your door step?
A: Matt

# Q: What do you call a paraplegic in the water?
A: Bob

# Q: What do you call a paraplegic stuck on the wall?
A: Art

# Q: What do you call a paraplegic at the beach?
A: Sandy

# Q: What do you call a paraplegic that was attacked by a lion?
A: Claude

# Q: What do you call a paraplegic couple who fell into a fire?
A: Frank and Patti

# Q: What do you call a woman with only one leg?
A: Ilene
--And if she's from Japan?
A: Irene
Thanks Jeremy

# Q: What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs?
A: Consuelo

# Q: What is the hardest part about eating vegetables?
A: The wheels get in the way!
Thanks Greg

# Q: What is the kewl thing about having Alzheimer's Disease?
A: You are always meeting new people...
You get to hide your own Easter eggs too.

# Q: What do you call paraplegic twin boys looking out a window?
A: Curt n Rod.
Thanks Bobby

# Q: What do you call a paraplegic guy being pulled behind a ski boat?
A: Skip.
Thanks Bobby

# Q: What do you call a paraplegic going over a fence?
A: Homer.
Thanks Buddy

# Q: What do you call a paraplegic under your car?
A: Jack

# Q: What do you call a paraplegic in a pile of leaves?
A: Russell

# Q: What do you call a paraplegic in a hot tub?
A: Stew
Thanks Bryan Cannon

# Q: What's green and has 12 tits?
A: A garbage bag at the breast cancer clinic.
Thanks Anne

# Q: What do the letters D. N. A. stand for?
A: Association of Noteworthy Dyslexics.
Thanks Jackie

# Q: What do you call a paraplegic radio disk jockey?
A: Mike.
Thanks Michael Wauters

 

[VisualExplorer]

If women with big tits work at Hooters, where do women with one leg work?
iHop!

 

[Peregrinator]

Jomar, you forgot the greatest one of all...

What do you call an Irish woman with no legs and no arms on the porch?

 

[iceburg1]

Irish priest drives down a country road,
sees a little boy, pulls up and winds down the window
'Hi there laddy, I'll give you a sweet if you come in my car'
The boy looks and says
'You give me the bag and I'll come in your mouth'

 

[BodeanDorette]

What has two legs and bleeds?






Half a goat.

 

[Peregrinator]

What has two legs and bleeds?






Half a goat.

Lmao! Nice second post ever. I love it.