The SCOURIES reader – for both fans and serious scholars…

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

I knew that would flush you out of your closet, pinkie. I can just envision the effeminate little chihuahua foaming at the mouth and yap yapping away. Such a classic closet boy.

I didn't bother to read your nervous little diatribe, by the way. I've read the Senator Larry Craig transcripts. I know what you closet boys blubber about to try to deflect light from your closets.

I knew your favorite color was pink. You keep writing the word. You enjoy writing that word, don't you.

Anyway, my dog, Polo, is not a Chihuahua. He's a Rat Terrier. If you knew anything about dogs, you'd know that the terrier breed are fearless fighters. As it so happens, Polo was attacked by 3 Pit Bulls. They cornered him and he fended them off, actually biting one of the Pit Bulls in the ear.

He was lucky. He's not match for one Pit Bull let alone 3 Pit Bulls, but he never backed down. Nonetheless, I rescued him and threw Pit Bulls out by the collars before I tossed the owners of the dogs out of the dog park. I'm a fairly big man and when I get angry, watch out.

So, it's funny that your only defense is the remove the closet light cast on your confused sexuality and place it on me. I can assure you that I'm straight. Obviously, you are sensitive about being gay or is it bi-sexual. Is there a difference? I always thought that if you sucked a cock, took one up the ass or pumped your cock up the ass of another Dude, that made you queer. Isn't that what you are? Queer?

Hey, listen, if anyone asks you why your parachute is pink, just tell them that you dyed your parachute in support of breast cancer. Yeah, that's a good one.

I'm gonna go with the orange Porsche, I think. Thanks for your help.

Do you still drive that Toyota Corolla? By the way, that's not a classic car.

 

[sr71plt]

I knew your favorite color was pink. You keep writing the word. You enjoy writing that word, don't you.

Anyway, my dog, Polo, is not a Chihuahua. He's a Rat Terrier. If you knew anything about dogs, you'd know that the terrier breed are fearless fighters. As it so happens, Polo was attacked by 3 Pit Bulls. They cornered him and he fended them off, actually biting one of the Pit Bulls in the ear.

He was lucky. He's not match for one Pit Bull let alone 3 Pit Bulls, but he never backed down. Nonetheless, I rescued him and threw Pit Bulls out by the collars before I tossed the owners of the dogs out of the dog park. I'm a fairly big man and when I get angry, watch out.

So, it's funny that your only defense is the remove the closet light cast on your confused sexuality and place it on me. I can assure you that I'm straight. Obviously, you are sensitive about being gay or is it bi-sexual. Is there a difference? I always thought that if you sucked a cock, took one up the ass or pumped your cock up the ass of another Dude, that made you queer. Isn't that what you are? Queer?

Hey, listen, if anyone asks you why your parachute is pink, just tell them that you dyed your parachute in support of breast cancer. Yeah, that's a good one.

I'm gonna go with the orange Porsche, I think. Thanks for your help.

Do you still drive that Toyota Corolla? By the way, that's not a classic car.

Peek. I see you back in the corner of your closet.

 

[bsergi1]

Could it be because you really, really suck at this game you are trying to play?

Why are you defending Sarahh and Freddie? (Could that provide the answer to your question? Ya think?)

I wonder why trolls are always such strangers to simple logic.

I am relatively knew here, still, and I just have two questions:

What's a troll? And, did you spell in right?

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

Peek. I see you back in the corner of your closet.

Hey, if you ever saw my closet, you'd never come out. My closet is my dressing room. I dare say, my closet is probably bigger than your entire apartment.

I like my closet. There's nothing like the smell of cedar in the morning with my cinnamon coffee.

It's understandable why you'd think being in the closet is such a negative thing, especially if I had a closet as small, smelly, and overcrowded with unsold E-books as your closet aparently is.

 

[sr71plt]

Hey, if you ever saw my closet, you'd never come out. My closet is my dressing room. I dare say, my closet is probably bigger than your entire apartment.

I like my closet. There's nothing like the smell of cedar in the morning with my cinnamon coffee.

It's understandable why you'd think being in the closet is such a negative thing, especially if I had a closet as small, smelly, and overcrowded with unsold E-books as your closet aparently is.

uh, huh. Tell us more. You're fascinating. Specially that little thing you do with your penciled eyebrows.

 

[sr71plt]

I am relatively knew here, still, and I just have two questions:

What's a troll? And, did you spell in right?

Welcome to the AH. Tell us about yourself and what you write and what you've published.

 

[bsergi1]

Welcome to the AH. Tell us about yourself and what you write and what you've published.

Oh, SR71PLT, I'm disappointed. I think I have broken you of your habit of correcting spelling errors and I was trying to have a little fun with you there because I really don't know what a troll is.

Now, I'm really going to try to break your habit of beating around the bush and not answering questions. What's a troll?

I'll answer your question. I'm not a writer. I'm not an author. I've written nothing but that damn grocery list I told you about yesterday. In the past, I've also written excuse notes for being absent from school for my kid.

I stumbled upon this thread by accident, saw that it was for fans , so I started reading the posts. Of late, the thread has turned from fun and funny postings to sometimes nasty digs to fellow writers. It seems like a contest of who can give the best rank, now. You being a pilot, I assume in the Airforce, should know something about rank.

So, there is only one question here: What's a troll?

 

[sr71plt]

Oh, SR71PLT, I'm disappointed. I think I have broken you of your habit of correcting spelling errors and I was trying to have a little fun with you there because I really don't know what a troll is.

Naw, you just suck at the game you're trying to play, as I noted.

Why should I have to answer malicious questions? Is this another Internet game you're going to suck at?

What's an Internet troll? Go look in the mirror. Another one of those "duh" postings of yours.

 

[bsergi1]

And, I just PM'd somebody saying everyone has been so nice..... I can see the teacher's not in a very helpful mood.

Can someone tell me what a troll is? I'd kind of like to know if I have been ranked on.

 

[sarahhh]

You have a URL for the Kindle store that doesn't go through Amazon.com? You have a URL for CreateSpace that doesn't associate itself with Amazon.com? Cite them.

You make a great straight man, Ace. No, wait. But you'd make a terrific wooden dummy for any ventriloquist.

I bet your queen cringes every time you say something about publishing, even though you are her publishing consultant and (according to you) the author of a book on publishing.

Hey Ace, I'm waiting for you to tell us you wrote the Bible.

Well, I'm off for some hockey. Poor Jim and his Panthers.

Carry on, boys. You too, Ace.

 

[sr71plt]

You make a great straight man, Ace. No, wait. But you'd make a terrific wooden dummy for any ventriloquist.

I bet your queen cringes every time you say something about publishing, even though you are her publishing consultant and (according to you) the author of a book on publishing.

Hey Ace, I'm waiting for you to tell us you wrote the Bible.

Well, I'm off for some hockey. Poor Jim and his Panthers.

Carry on, boys. You too, Ace.

When you run out of rope on substantive issues, about all you can do is call names and then cut and run, right, Sarahh?

Waitin' for those URLs, babe.

 

[michchick98]

Well, I'm off for some hockey. Poor Jim and his Panthers.

Um, butch? Yeah, the Panthers are doing better this year than the Penguins. Granted not by much, but maybe you should save the trash talk for when your team is winning more games and not in 7th place in the conference, huh?

Just sayin'

 

[sarahhh]

Um, butch? Yeah, the Panthers are doing better this year than the Penguins. Granted not by much, but maybe you should save the trash talk for when your team is winning more games and not in 7th place in the conference, huh?

Just sayin'

Not any longer are the Panthers doing better than the Penguins. Poor Jim. But like I said, Jim, I think your Panthers will make the playoffs.

Oh, I'm ready to trash talk now. As of late the Penguins have a new coach, several new players, and are playing perhaps the best hockey in the NHL. 7 in a row, 5 of those on the road.

What do you know about hockey, anyway, bitchchick98, besides getting hit in the head by a puck (there has to be some explanation for your psychotic multiple personality disorder)?

Just sayin'

 

[scouries]

is that midget gary bettman a silent investor in the Penguins?

QUOTEfreddie What's nice about the Porsche, unlike the Ferrari, is that you can customize the car from wheels to suspension to the interior.

How about a 911 GT2 with a metallic ”lime green” exterior… I was in one the other day (a black one) on Ocean Drive and you shoulda seen all the sexy little sweeties’ reactions as we slowly paraded down the street.

QUOTEfreddie Anyway, my dog, Polo,

WTF! You’re putting poor old Polo up against three pit bulls? Find the poor little guy some horny bitches… maybe a poodle or two (your gay pal may have some)…

QUOTEsarahhh Well, I'm off for some hockey. Poor Jim and his Panthers

This hockey stuff is more fixed than a pro wrestling match! We get fifteen penalties and they call one on the fat nuns?. Denis Potvin said on air he’d never seen such a poorly called game… gary bettman owns twenty-five per cent of the team - why am I not surprisd...

Its funny – by and large our female college visitors from the frozen north don’t take their tops ff on the beach during the day (unlike the locals and our European visitors) but get a few drinks in them in a night club around midnight and they can’t wait to flash their young, firm, coed breasts at you… sweet…

I’m james r scouries and I believe the American University system should extend Spring Break so it goes from January to June each year…

[size=+2]Dolphins believe the Panthers was robbed … its time to investigate the NHL…[/size]

 

[sarahhh]

When you run out of rope on substantive issues, about all you can do is call names and then cut and run, right, Sarahh?

Waitin' for those URLs, babe.

I didn't cut and run. Penguins hockey is more important to me than discussing anything with you.

No wonder you want links. Since you are the missing link.

My point from the beginning is that you can buy books from the CreateSpace or Kindle stores that you can not buy at Amazon.com. The reason you can not buy them at Amazon.com is because there is a delay in getting a listing on Amazon.com such that you can buy the book there.

At the CreateSpace site in the FAQ it says:

When does my book appear for sale on Amazon.com?

Once you approve your proof from your Member Account, your book will appear for sale on Amazon.com usually within fifteen business days.

So you see, the newly published/printed book can be purchased immediately via the CreateSpace store, but it can not be purchased at Amazon.com until a couple of weeks later.

This is nothing new, as a publishing consultant and author of a book on publishing such as yourself would know. If your book is printed by LightningSource it takes a couple weeks or usually more to get a listing at Amazon.com such that you can buy the book there, and that has been the case for years.

 

[freshface]

My point from the beginning is that you can buy books from the CreateSpace or Kindle stores that you can not buy at Amazon.com. The reason you can not buy them at Amazon.com is because there is a delay in getting a listing on Amazon.com such that you can buy the book there.

At the CreateSpace site in the FAQ it says:

When does my book appear for sale on Amazon.com?

Once you approve your proof from your Member Account, your book will appear for sale on Amazon.com usually within fifteen business days.

So you see, the newly published/printed book can be purchased immediately via the CreateSpace store, but it can not be purchased at Amazon.com until a couple of weeks later.

This is nothing new, as a publishing consultant and author of a book on publishing such as yourself would know. If your book is printed by LightningSource it takes a couple weeks or usually more to get a listing at Amazon.com such that you can buy the book there, and that has been the case for years.

Maybe it would help the discussion if you would define for us what, exactly, you consider to be a part of Amazon.com. We are all defining it as items that you can purchase by going to Amazon.com. As has been pointed out to you numerous times, his books appear on the Amazon website and can be purchased through the Amazon store. The URL for his books start with www.amazon.com. Since you obviously do not consider parts of the Amazon.com website to be part of Amazon.com, please clarify what you do consider them to be.

I'm not going to tell you that Kindle is part of Amazon, as that is obviously beyond your comprehension. While you're explaining, please tell us what you do consider Kindle to be.

There's really no point in discussing this farther until everyone can agree on the basic terms.

 

[sr71plt]

Ahh, no URLs, Sarahh. I'm happy just to let you wander around in your fantasy land, being silly. Doesn't affect reality one bit.

 

[michchick98]

What do you know about hockey, anyway, bitchchick98

You really are delusional to think that the Penguins are gonna actually make it somewhere this year, butch. Do you forget who beat them last year in the Stanley Cup Playoffs?

besides getting hit in the head by a puck (there has to be some explanation for your psychotic multiple personality disorder)?

No, I ducked and let it hit you right between the eyes, sunshine. That would explain your endless babbling on and on about....well, nothing that matters to anyone but you. It would also explain your aversion to stupidity. So keep rocking back and forth in your seat and while you're at it, you might wanna wipe the drool from your chin.

 

[michchick98]

My point from the beginning is that you can buy books from the CreateSpace or Kindle stores that you can not buy at Amazon.com. The reason you can not buy them at Amazon.com is because there is a delay in getting a listing on Amazon.com such that you can buy the book there.

Okay, so if you click on this link:

http://www.kindle.com

Where does it take you? Does it redirect to amazon.com for you as it does for me? Anyone else wanna confirm that? I mean maybe it's just my computer redirecting me to amazon.com instead of this mysterious and elusive Kindle store.

And if a Kindle e-book isn't immediately available through amazon.com, why, if you click on that above link and type in the search bar (after using the pull-down menu to select BOOKS) do books that haven't been released yet, have an option for pre-order? I mean if it doesn't appear on the amazon.com website right away, wouldn't it be fair to say that the "available for pre-order" message wouldn't be there?

All my e-books that haven't been released yet have the "available for pre-order" on them and I went in both ways...through amazon.com and kindle.com (which took me to amazon.com anyway)

At the CreateSpace site in the FAQ it says:

When does my book appear for sale on Amazon.com?

Once you approve your proof from your Member Account, your book will appear for sale on Amazon.com usually within fifteen business days.

So you see, the newly published/printed book can be purchased immediately via the CreateSpace store, but it can not be purchased at Amazon.com until a couple of weeks later.

Out of curiosity, and I'm not sure why beyond that, I created a user account at CreateSpace.com

Nowhere did I find a link for their store. As a matter of fact, I looked through several pages. The CreateSpace store didn't appear anywhere as a clickable link allowing me to search for a title.

But you know what did appear on every page in the lower right corner? This image:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3075/3346812421_50362eee78_o.gif

Yet I still don't see any kind of a link for this elusive and mysterious CreateSpace store.

Once I created my account, I found oodles of information on self-publishing and print on demand and even how to track royalties and claim those earnings on my taxes. This was at 3:40pm.

At 4:03pm, I'm still searching the CreateSpace.com website for someplace I can search for titles and buy them directly from the site.

And finally, at 4:12pm, I found something about a CreateSpace E-Store. Still elusive, however, as to how to purchase a book through there.

The FAQ I read through and mostly deals with publishing your print on demand book and selling it through Amazon.com. Although, the FAQ did have a listing for any authors/publishers who chose not to sell their book through amazon.com but instead through the CreateSpace E-Store only. Odd that I still didn't find a specific web address for that so I could search for titles to purchase.

From the CS FAQ:

"Can I create a book through CreateSpace and not list it on Amazon.com?

Yes; you will have the option to select the sales channels you prefer when you set up your title, and may choose to sell your book through your CreateSpace E-Store only."

Still, no link to that ever elusive store. So I dig further....

And finally, FINALLY, at 4:15pm., I find information on the elusive CreateSpace E-Store. Apparently when you create a title for self-publishing/print on demand, it sets you (the author/publisher/whatever) up with your very own E-Store which you can provide links to through your website or where ever.

More from the CreateSpace FAQ:

"Once you approve the proof, we will provide you with a URL that you can use to link your website to your title's unique E-Store.

Customizing your E-Store is easy – simply follow these steps:

1. Log in to your Member Account using your email address and account password.
2. Select the title you will be modifying and click the "Edit" link.
3. There are several sections on the Edit Title page, including one called E-Store. Click the "Edit E-Store" link on the right side of that section.
4. On the Printed Materials section you can modify your E-Store trailer, banner, color selection, etc.
5. To complete the process, click on the "Save" button at the bottom right side of the page."

Yet, beyond that, I still see no store where I can browse titles and purchase any books. So the E-Store is there, yes, but it's specific URLs for each author/publisher.

Aren't you glad I cleared that up? I know I am.

Anyway, back to the whole Amazon.com thing. So if I publish a book through CreateSpace, I get a URL for my own e-store and the book will be available immediately for sale, but it may take up to two weeks to appear on amazon.com AND I have the option of not selling it through amazon.com at all....but really, why would anyone opt to not sell through amazon? It's only one of the most popular sites on the web. But I digress...

I see where only half your argument is right, butchy. But, for anyone wanting to purchase a paperback book that's created through the CreateSpace website, CAN purchase it through amazon.com, they have to wait, but they can do it. Unless of course, the author/publisher provides the direct link to buy the book before it appears on amazon.com, but with all the cool stuff on amazon, why wouldn't you wanna shop there?

 

[sr71plt]

But then the real question is what does buying CreateSpace books have to do with anything discussed here about publishing erotica to the erotica market? Nothing, as far as I can determine. It was just a smokescreen to try to get Sarahh out of addressing anything that actually was being discussed when she painted herself into the corners. I'm not fooled. Anyone else fooled?

 

[michchick98]

But then the real question is what does buying CreateSpace books have to do with anything discussed here about publishing erotica to the erotica market? Nothing, as far as I can determine. It was just a smokescreen to try to get Sarahh out of addressing anything that actually was being discussed when she painted herself into the corners. I'm not fooled. Anyone else fooled?

Uh, no. But I cleared up the whole CreateSpace thing for myself.

 

[sarahhh]

But then the real question is what does buying CreateSpace books have to do with anything discussed here about publishing erotica to the erotica market? Nothing, as far as I can determine. It was just a smokescreen to try to get Sarahh out of addressing anything that actually was being discussed when she painted herself into the corners. I'm not fooled. Anyone else fooled?

LMFAO.

You don't have a fucking clue about what Bitchchick98 just said, now do you?

Oh, I understand everything she said. Not that it doesn't need just a little bit (well, maybe more than a little bit) of clarification and correction, which I certainly am willing to provide. She's not educating me, she's educating you, so pay attention. I mean, you are the publishing consultant for eXcessica and author of a book on publishing. You really do need to know this stuff.

 

[sr71plt]

Uh, no. But I cleared up the whole CreateSpace thing for myself.

Yep, you sure did.

CreateSpace is pretty irrelevant to erotica marketing, though. It creates print books. The bulk of the erotica market is in e-books (as you, at least, appear to have figured out). We can let Sarahh wander off on her own. She doesn't even have an erotic book to sell to anyone at the moment. Just all talk; no action.

 

[sarahhh]

She doesn't even have an erotic book to sell to anyone at the moment.

Sure I do.

But I'm waiting to see what Barnes & Noble does.

You, being a publishing consultant and author of a book on publishing, really should explain to everyone why a person with an erotic book, or any other e-book, ready to be published, might want to find out exactly what Barnes & Noble is going to do before you make a move.

 

[michchick98]

Yep, you sure did.

CreateSpace is pretty irrelevant to erotica marketing, though. It creates print books. The bulk of the erotica market is in e-books (as you, at least, appear to have figured out). We can let Sarahh wander off on her own. She doesn't even have an erotic book to sell to anyone at the moment. Just all talk; no action.

Yeah, but judging by her latest post, she's still puffing out the uni-tit and claiming she's right. So I'll let her go off wandering. Maybe she'll figure things out eventually.

Hey, butch? It's not really a good idea to stick that fork in the plug sock....

Geezus! She just blew a fuse!

Wow, butch, nice do. You know most people would pay good money at a salon for that look? Maybe we should all follow your lead in the future.

Get the hell away from there. Go back in your corner.

Wait.

Change your bib, first. The one you have on now is soaked with your dried up spittle.