John Almighty

[Murakami]

My first story is off and running, and I have already picked up a couple outside contributions. I did a few very serious character driven threads, partly to provide non-fluff breakouts to get around the 4 thread limit, but now the field is wide open! I'm always looking for ideas, so please let me know what you want to see. Better yet, drop a thread in.

John Almighty

 

[BenjiDude]

I've been following this one since it was posted, glad to see it's taking off! I'm currently throwing a few ideas around in my head for a thread or two, nothing really concrete as yet.

 

[Murakami]

Woops, I put a thread in the wrong place. I renetered it in the proper location, how do I clear the incorrect one?

 

[Gunde]

Woops, I put a thread in the wrong place. I renetered it in the proper location, how do I clear the incorrect one?

You report it to a moderator and state the reason why you want it deleted. Or you write a new one and edit that one in instead.

 

[Murakami]

thanks.

I've got a few threads I hope to finish in the next few days, and I am around to approve threads, so please contribute!

 

[Murakami]

I appear to have picked up a dedicated author in BillPratt. Thanks Bill, keep em coming.

Do you guys think I put too much thought into my threads? My turnaround seems to be much slower than a lot of other editors.

Also, could someone please tell me why 'create a wrestler' is so popular? I would love to get that many contributions.

 

[whizzper]

I appear to have picked up a dedicated author in BillPratt. Thanks Bill, keep em coming.

Do you guys think I put too much thought into my threads? My turnaround seems to be much slower than a lot of other editors.

Also, could someone please tell me why 'create a wrestler' is so popular? I would love to get that many contributions.

Create a Wrestler is also ancient in CHYOO terms. like Aaralorns Discovery or Weekend at a Girls dorm they've been here forever

 

[Murakami]

True, but create a wrestler still gets new threads multiple times daily. That's my goal. But it took me 3 days to write my last original thread (I posted an alternate take on one of billpratt's quickly, but that was just a little reshuffling, not original content by me). If it's just me, I'll never get that kind of rate, and besides if I wanted to write the whole thing, I'd write the whole thing and put it on the EMCSA or something. I want external input.

 

[Torg]

True, but create a wrestler still gets new threads multiple times daily. That's my goal. But it took me 3 days to write my last original thread (I posted an alternate take on one of billpratt's quickly, but that was just a little reshuffling, not original content by me). If it's just me, I'll never get that kind of rate, and besides if I wanted to write the whole thing, I'd write the whole thing and put it on the EMCSA or something. I want external input.

Create a Wrestler has several hundred threads giving lots of places for potential authors to write. And it's so free-form and any set of characters is usable. Similar to Ultimate Fanfiction.

I'd love to have several people adding threads on most days of the week for my stories, too. I'm happy for what I get.

 

[Murakami]

In an effort to provide people with more choices, I have branched off a high school variant of the story, in continuity. Let me know what you think.

 

[Murakami]

I've been adding a bunch of threads to my story. Do people like them?

Join in the fun and contribute

 

[BenjiDude]

I wouldn't worry too much about your output Murakami, yes it may be slow but the stuff you do write is well written and planned out nicely. Personally I'd rather read a few well written threads by an author than loads of short poorly written and rubbish threads, it's quality over quantity. Now before anyone calls me on this I know some of my stuff has been pretty piss-poor, I'm working on it.

As for your recent additions:
The high-school branch off:-
After reading it I felt that it was a bit forced and found myself asking, "Why?", why did John decide to go back to high-school, I never felt like I got a really solid answer.

The other threads are good and my only bit of "advice" would be to chop them up a bit more. You're covering a lot of ground in each thread and forcing the reader down one choice. The first one that comes to mind is after {spoilers} John has turned the world into a porn film and his friend comes to visit{end spoiler} one "problem" (I use the term loosely) with that thread is the kind of porn world he's turned it into, you could have ended a thread there and given people a choice of porn styles to write about, the next is when John's friend turns up, you could have had a question there and let people choose who turned up.

If you want contributions you have to give people more options, I understand that this is your "baby" and you want certain events to happen and that's cool but sex scenes can be split up into multiple threads, with options for different sexual positions, even when John wished his friend had blonde hair and big tits, you could have had an option for how large her chest got.

I don't know if I'm making any sense anymore or just rambling so I'll leave it there but I'm more than happy to explain further if need be.

 

[Murakami]

Rearrangement

Alright, I tried breaking things up a bit more. Do people like it better this way?

I'm not happy that one of the chapters now had less than one sentence, but it does leave maximum choice for people who want to add.

As for the chest size thing, it's too far back in the order for me to fix now (it would require a lot of rearranging of threads, I'm worried I would lose something during the operation), and not terribly important (I don't mention specifics later, so it's easy to link around that chapter if you really don't like it).

I also tried to clarify what happened in the high school shift. Like I said, it's mostly for the sake of providing more choice. Also, I had the idea for the porn world thread and it didn't seem to work in the college setting.

Anything else you would like to add (preferably some threads, but more comments also welcome)?

 

[BenjiDude]

Yeah seems good to me (but then I'm only one man). The one line entry is a bit of a problem but could be fixed by slightly rewording the last line in the previous entry, instead of saying he quickly decided on a choice, just say he thought about it for a while, then in the next entry you can say "After much thought and deliberation John decided on the perfect wish, choosing his words carefully he made his wish..."

 

[Murakami]

Aww, I just fell off the freshest stories list on the front page. I was really hoping to get more contributions before that happened.

 

[BenjiDude]

Aww, I just feel off the freshest stories list on the front page. I was really hoping to get more contributions before that happened.

I wouldn't worry about that, people will add their 2p in due time, my excuse for not adding anything so far is real life has sucked all free time away from endeavours such as choo threads.

 

[Murakami]

I'm down to one first level thread. Should I add an 'other options' thread or just use the last one for my next idea? I know there is a trick to get more than 4 threads onto a page, but I have never successfully gotten it to work.

 

[Murakami]

A bunch of people commented that it seemed strange that John was faster than a group of trained athletes. While my original intention was to imply that they let him get a lead to send him into the pit, this didn't come through very well. I have made a small adjustment (nothing that affects any of the followup threads) and I think it now sounds more realistic.

 

[BenjiDude]

I'm down to one first level thread. Should I add an 'other options' thread or just use the last one for my next idea? I know there is a trick to get more than 4 threads onto a page, but I have never successfully gotten it to work.

Personally I'd leave it for other people to add their own "initial" thread, if you want to add something there later on then use the "5th thread" trick.

 

[Murakami]

I did both. Took a couple tries to make the fifth thread trick work, though, as you can probably see right now. I asked the mods to clear out the tests, do there will be a clean slate for the next guy. I wish there were a way for me to remove my own threads if I make a mistake.

 

[Murakami]

So the last of my main storylines is going. I've got more for this thread that will probably be put up later this week (RL tends to keep me from posting my own material mid-week, though I am still around to approve stuff), and then I'll be done with all the stuff I originally planned on from the beginning.

I hope people like my additions. I realize that the last few threads were a bit long, but I wanted to setup a fairly sophisticated scenario realistically.

I hope to see more threads coming in soon. There's plenty of material to run with; don't make me, goodboy, and bill pratt feel like we're writing this alone. Single contributions welcome, so don't think you need a huge long storyline like what I've been doing to add.

 

[Murakami]

I never got any responses to one of my old threads in another story, and since it fit the theme, I decided to expand it into 2 threads and more it over to John Almighty.

Do people like me putting these updates up, or do you not find this particularly interesting?

It's hard to tell if people like my story or not. I've gotten a few good feedbacks, but only 3 other people have posted threads to the story (one only posted a single thread). Is there something you guys want to see? Is there something you don't like about what I'm doing?

 

[BenjiDude]

It's all good so far. I've been dealing with a new computer this past week hence I've not said anything before now. Don't loose faith, you're doing well.

 

[Murakami]

I'm going to be unable to post anything new for most of the next week, (small opening on Tuesday, if I get inspired, but nothing currently complete enough for quick deployment) due to RL interference. However, I will be around to approve new chapters, possibly a little slower than normal, but definitely within 24 hours, so keep them coming.

 

[Murakami]

Opinions

I have a new chapter for the story, but it is a bit similar to one of my other posts, so I am asking people's opinions. Should I go ahead and add this to the story, or is it too close to what I already did? It branches off of 'Side Effects'.

..."Dr. I think he's coming around..."

"Yes, I think you’re right. Hello? Can you hear me?"

A light flashed before John's eyes.

"I'm getting pupil response; I think he's conscious, but he doesn’t appear to have regained control of his body yet. Nurse, you stay here and call me the minute he is able to respond. With the amount of work we had to do, we need to evaluate him as soon as possible in case there is anything still wrong."

John blinked. The nurse was no longer in his field of vision, and he noticed dimly that the light coming through the window looked different. He groaned.

A petite woman in a nurse's outfit leaned over him, again shining a pen light in his eyes. "Mr. Brady, if you can hear me, please give me a sign." John groaned again. "Dr. Langston," she yelled, "I think he's responding now.

A middle aged man hurried into John's field of view. "Mr. Brady, can you hear me? Are you able to respond?"

"Epty," was the best John could do. He could barely make anything move, much less make proper sounds.

"Good, I think he's back with us," the Doctor said to the nurse. "Go find Dr. Takumi and Dr. Hamilton, now that he can respond we need to run the tests right away." he turned back to john. "Mr. Brady, listen. You are in MetU Hospital. When you were brought in, you had a sizable chunk of rock stuck in the back of your head." John made an alarmed sound. "It wasn't in too far, and we were able to get it out quickly, but we need you to try and do what we say and answer our questions so we can determine the extent of the damage. Can you move your limbs? Don't try to answer, just move them if you can."

John tried desperately to move something, anything, but got no response. The doctor was resting his hand on John’s arm; John could see it, but he couldn’t feel it. "Oh my god, I'm paralyzed!" he thought frantically. "I can't move, nothing is working. I don't want to be parlayed. Please let it just go away! Please let me move! Let me feel!!"

Dr. Langston became worried. The patient had not moved anything yet, and his rapid eye movements and groaning seemed to indicate that there was a problem. Then, all of a sudden, John's entire body began spasming, moving all at once, almost kicking him. "That's good, that's good John," the Langston cried, try to restrain him. "There appears to have been some delay in your motor control returning, but plea-oof" John's arm caught him in the stomach "please calm down, you might hurt yourself. Please, just try raising you arm!"

John calmed down, suddenly able to feel and move again. He raised his arm; it took no more effort than usual. His frantic breathing subsided. "Oh, thank you god, it was only temporary," he thought, immensely relieved.

"Good, good. Aside from the slow start, your motor skills appear to be fine. We were worried, given the placement of the damage. I guess it's a good thing we got that stone out as fast as we did. You’re lucky Supergirl heard you calling for help; there's no telling how long you could have been laying out there otherwise.

The title wouldl be 'Disabled Powers', an homage to a story by Ceaser. The question will be: 'Did he just say 'Supergirl' found me!?!?'