The SCOURIES reader – for both fans and serious scholars…

[TxRad]

Well, I certainly don't think Jim is b-o-r-i-n-g. Neither do his millions of readers. But if others who post here think he is b-o-r-i-n-g, Jim may need a drama queen moment to grab some attention. I know. He could have a fake baby.

Why would he need a fake baby when he has you

Oh and you're the other one who uses British slang in American writing.

 

[TxRad]

Welcome to SCOURIESWORLD the Fantasy Island of Lit

Is that new and fresh enough for you

 

[sarahhh]

Why not? You've already got a fake secretary, fake friends, and fake fans.

What I really need is a fake Indian. I'll send you an application, Miss Kitty. Meow.

 

[sarahhh]

Why would he need a fake baby when he has you

Oh and you're the other one who uses British slang in American writing.

That's not British slang, it's Texas twang.

Now don't get so excited, old timer. We don't want you having a stroke or some such thing. Oh shit, not another "Candles for . . . " thread.

 

[sarahhh]

Welcome to SCOURIESWORLD the Fantasy Island of Lit

Is that new and fresh enough for you

How come you're not drilling for black gold (go Steelers!) today down yonder in the oil fields of Texas today?

Hey, if I keep posting maybe I can get to 10,544 posts like you have. And if I use both hands, maybe I can get to 34,645 posts like cloudy has.

Did you two ever hear the song "Get a Haircut and Get a Real Life" by chance?

 

[TxRad]

How come you're not drilling for black gold (go Steelers!) today down yonder in the oil fields of Texas today?

Hey, if I keep posting maybe I can get to 10,544 posts like you have. And if I use both hands, maybe I can get to 34,645 posts like cloudy has.

Did you two ever hear the song "Get a Haircut and Get a Real Life" by chance?

Just got through with a 70 day job, thank you. Got some time off now.

If you had any real friends you'd already have this many posts.

I've got a life. A very nice one also. You might try it sometimes. it's a lot of fun with friends.

 

[TxRad]

What I really need is a fake Indian. I'll send you an application, Miss Kitty. Meow.

You think those two are the same person?

I'd laugh myself silly if that wasn't so sad.

 

[scouries]

and now back to something important....

its simply the best…

[size=+3]Florida Football that is[/size]​

For the tenth time in the last 26 years Florida football has come out on top of the college football world!

And whether it’s the Canes (1983, 1987, 1989, 1991, 2001) or the Noles (1993, 1999) or the Gators (1996, 2006, 2008) there’s one reality behind there victories – the boys who grew up playing football in Florida.

Not Texas or California or Pennsylvania. FLORIDA!

And it’s just going to get better. What state did the last two National High School Champions come from?

Yup, FLORIDA!

I’m james r scouries, and I approve this message…

 

[Samandiriel]

I'm curious, scouries, why it is you troll the AH, yet never join in any other threads.....enlighten us, please?

 

[Darkniciad]

I'm curious, scouries, why it is you troll the AH, yet never join in any other threads.....enlighten us, please?

He does. Don't encourage more of it

 

[ishtat]

What's in a name?

I have never looked at this thread before thinking it a bit odd that there should be discussion of this unfortunate disease on this site.

The Scours is an illness of ungulates which in Scotland and the North of England is called Scouries

Animals which suffer from it develop severe dysentery and frequently, literally shit themselves to death. - Not implying anything but it makes it an interesting choice of name.

 

[tickledkitty]

I have never looked at this thread before thinking it a bit odd that there should be discussion of this unfortunate disease on this site.

The Scours is an illness of ungulates which in Scotland and the North of England is called Scouries

Animals which suffer from it develop severe dysentery and frequently, literally shit themselves to death. - Not implying anything but it makes it an interesting choice of name.

OMG. I am peeing my pants laughing.

 

[Darkniciad]

*Dr. Pepper Spew*

 

[scouries]

QUOTE SAMMY I'm curious, scouries, why it is you troll the AH, yet never join in any other threads.....enlighten us, please?

Perhaps you don’t know my dear but I’m here against my will. I was dragged kicking and scratching from the STORY FEEDBACK forum. The QUEEN did it!

I went along with it because she’s not that bad an old bird. Besides she’s providing much of the money that’s fuelling my lavish lifestyle. My sales last year (over three million on LITEROTICA) of course are also a boon to her – has more than one piece of diamond jewelry that was financed by my popularity.

I do add the odd post to other lesser threads from time to time, threads where my knowledge and expertise can shed some light on a problem that has been perplexing the denizens of AH land for years.

As an expert on the LITEROTICA contest system I’ve been the driving force behind almost all the recent improvements. Of course we still have a long way to go….

However, as you know, the vast majority of threads started in AH land are mere drivel – birthday wishes, get well cards, Chicago get together threads, and/or rehashes of threads we’ve seen a hundred times. I’m a THREADMASTER ma’am, not a mere poseur….


QUOTE Ishtar :caning: The Scours is an illness of ungulates which in Scotland and the North of England is called Scouries Animals which suffer from it develop severe dysentery and frequently, literally shit themselves to death. - Not implying anything but it makes it an interesting choice of name

Is that you sourwitch ? ishtarwitch? Using another name again are you? This post looks remarkably similar to one you made over two years ago my dear. I’d have thought a brilliant novelist such as you see yourself could at least come up with something original. Remember that post? It was the one in which you also dubbed me the wonderful [size=+2]Grand_High_Poobah[/size] if I remember correctly. I thought you were going to ignore me … couldn’t resist could you?

QUOTE tickledpink OMG. I am peeing my pants laughing.

Well this post just confirms who Ishtar really is! The lovely tickledpink is one of my favorite AHers. She’s a delight 99% of the time. Pleasant and kind… sweet and sexy …

But as soon as SW skulks into the neighborhood she changes – becomes the evil twin that lurks deep in her subconscious – her kitty side suddenly appears.

You hurt me miss pink but I’ll get over it … I just wish you wouldn’t swim in the bog with those other two…

I’m james r scouries and I forgive miss pink…

[size=+2] Dolphins like the open sea, not the marsh… [/size]

 

[Darkniciad]

Now you know why there's not much sense in making up "witty" nicknames for you, as you expend much of your limited creativity doing, scouries.

I thought it sounded like a disease from the beginning, but the revelation of how appropriate the actual condition is -- well -- that's just too funny for any mere mortal words to convey.

 

[tickledkitty]

I'm sorry, Jim. You have to admit it's funny though, in light of everything else. Honestly, I don't even know who ishtat is or if they are, in fact, an alt.

Oh, and you're welcome on any thread I might start, anytime.
The contrite Miss Pink

 

[sarahhh]

I have never looked at this thread before thinking it a bit odd that there should be discussion of this unfortunate disease on this site.

The Scours is an illness of ungulates which in Scotland and the North of England is called Scouries

Animals which suffer from it develop severe dysentery and frequently, literally shit themselves to death. - Not implying anything but it makes it an interesting choice of name.

There is another definition of "scouries" known only to those who have researched certain ancient documents. "Scouries" is a word of great reverence in the Scythian language. It means a super hero who diligently utilizes his extraordinary powers to fight against the corrupt regime. One of those powers is the art of seduction via the written word.

 

[sarahhh]

There is another definition of "scouries" known only to those who have researched certain ancient documents. "Scouries" is a word of great reverence in the Scythian language. It means a super hero who diligently utilizes his extraordinary powers to fight against the corrupt regime. One of those powers is the art of seduction via the written word.

OMG. I am peeing my pants laughing.

 

[sarahhh]

* Yuengling spew *

 

[starrkers]

I have never looked at this thread before thinking it a bit odd that there should be discussion of this unfortunate disease on this site.

The Scours is an illness of ungulates which in Scotland and the North of England is called Scouries

Animals which suffer from it develop severe dysentery and frequently, literally shit themselves to death. - Not implying anything but it makes it an interesting choice of name.

OMG. I am peeing my pants laughing.

*Dr. Pepper Spew*

Seriously, you didn't know this?

Critters get the scours in Australia too.

 

[sr71plt]

OMG. I am peeing my pants laughing.

So excited that you didn't remember to change Alts before responding to yourself?

Now, THAT is funny.

 

[scouries]

QUOTE miss pink I'm sorry, Jim. You have to admit it's funny though, in light of everything else. Honestly, I don't even know who ishtat is or if they are, in fact, an alt.

It's your pal SW my dear. Ask her to show you the original post. Here's how she explained the disease back then:

QUOTE sw ”It is severe diarrhea that leads to death. That’s what you remind me of. You have diarrhea of the mouth”

Then she got downright nasty!

This is how I answered her then (with a slight change to embrace the shining example you give all female AHers):

To SW and the rest of you Lady Literoticans, it’s time to cast aside these false idols, its time to grow back your pubic pelts and embrace heterosexuality and respect for male erotic writers everywhere. Obedience and sexy lingerie are your best bets for future happiness and orgasmic bliss. Spend less time posting and more time pleasing is my simple suggestion to all of you lovely ladies. I beg of you, before it’s too late, look to miss pink for inspiration.

QUOTE miss pink Oh, and you're welcome on any thread I might start, anytime. The contrite Miss Pink

Thank you sweet lady - and I'm sure any thread you were THEADMISTRESS of would merit a post from tHe Scourian Heights

I’m james r scouries and I'm in miss pinks corner…

[size=+3] go STEELERS....[/size]

 

[tickledkitty]

God, Jim. That's funny. I think you're giving me way too much credit. Or maybe you're just making fun. Either way, thanks for the laugh.

 

[JackLuis]

I admit I sucummed today and actualy read some of JB's work.

I read "Pauls Baby" and had a good laugh.

She was a slut but I liked her and in LW he took a lot of crap.

Pretty good work JB. I gave it a five but it was justa fuck story.

 

[scouries]

Pauls Baby????????

JackLuis.... Joe Louis... freddie??????? Is this your new writing alias? Not bad...

Is that you [size=+2]freddie ?[/size] How are you? How's it going up there? The gabster and I were just talking about you. Beautiful day down here - too bad you're not in Miami, we'd take you out on the boat. We're going to motor down into the keys.

And hey, I'm glad you liked Pauls Baby man. Over 72,000 readers have chosen it. Got some good comments too ... you know, you might be interested in the review, it came out in 2007. Here it is as it originally appeared on this thread:

[size=+2]STORY REVIEW #10[/size]

Here’s a brand new story review. The story is just out today May 16th 2007.

[size=+2]

Paul’s Baby[/size]​

by scouries​

Loving Wives Category​

​

Hot off the press from the great, but besieged, award winning author J.R. Scouries comes this new tale of marriage and cuckoldry in twenty first century America.

Yes, it is a ‘Loving Wives’ category story, but no, this author doesn’t cater to the sick minds of the pitiful crowd of losers who often hover around new LW stories like hungry piranhas. It’s no tale of revenge nor is it meant to assuage the pain so many of these cuckolded men, who’ve so often been left by their wives for younger, better endowed men, often feel.

Instead it looks at how a modern woman, a beautiful, sexy twenty-seven year old, faces the realities of work and love and sex in suburban America. Of how she’s often pushed into corners not of her own making. Of hard but real choices every American woman is forced to make.

It’s also a cautionary tale for those men who believe that today’s modern woman will be satisfied only with a nice home and clothes and baubles, that this new sexually wise woman will be satisfied by an inattentive and unskilled lover.

Liz Roberts, twenty-six, a nurse and happily married for five years, slowly drifts into a frustration born of her inability to conceive and her husband Johnnies seeming lack of interest in doing anything more than going through the motions when it comes to sex.

Finding it increasingly difficult to ignore the siren call of sexual freedom that seems to be blared incessantly at adult Americans through every media outlet, Liz finally finds herself lured into temptation by her best friend, the lusty, man devouring Cathy.

His name is Paul, just only nineteen, a boy/man freshman at the local university. And yet he possesses a sexual confidence and presence that belies his years. As he drives her to his den deep in the student quarter, the throbbing, motor of his Harley, which vibrates angrily between her thighs, simply presages what she’s soon to feel. COCK! Big cock. A cock that instantly drives any thought of her husband from her mind. Liz feels no guilt or regret as the pleasure rolls in wave after wave through her body.

And she knows immediately that this relentlessly spurting prick will finally deliver the seed that will wipe away her barrenness. Will Liz ultimately be able to balance her conflicting needs? Will she be able to maintain a loving, family lifestyle while still satisfying this aching need for sex the boy has unleashed?

This is a story that may also be especially helpful for many of Literotica’s most well known female authors, often frustrated women who toil all day to produce erotica for the masses and then thrash alone all night in unsatisfied need. Can Liz’s experiences signal some avenue of release for these lovely but often ill tempered creatures? God willing.

Please people, before all copies of this masterwork disappear off the shelves, rush out and read it. Early reviews have been both gratifying and bizarre.

jim