Naive and close minded.

[human_male]

Hi there.

A few weeks ago I started reading the forums over at plentyoffish. I read one or two posts from women who are concerned because they found out their boyfriend has a gay or trans gender porn collection. They want to know if this means he's actually gay and in the closet or in denial.

You wouldn't believe the number of replies from men and women telling her he's obviously gay, because any guy who's remotely interested in another guy or gay sex must be gay... and that's that. And most of the women say it's sick and if they were her they'd leave him in a second. One woman said something like "Even if it's women with dicks, it's still dicks that he likes, so he's obviously gay. How much more proof do you need?"

I tried to assure her that he may not be totally straight but that doesn't make him necessarily totally gay. And it doesn't mean he doesn't love her, or is any less attracted to her or that their relationship is a sham.

But somehow I get the feeling they won't listen to me. Sad isn't it?

That should be closed minded, naturally.

 

[Hello4Kitty]

For some people it's an all or nothing thing. While some are more open to the idea of their SO being not 100% straight others are not. I think it's a comfort zone thing.

I would voice the opinion - the worst thing she can do is ignore you but maybe it'll make some sort of impact on her.

 

[emap]

What she said, I am also finding myself wondering how old these people are. I mean seriously they are showing the mentality of a 14 year old.

So anyway perhaps you should point out maybe it was purchased by an ex girlfriend of his that he forgot about having after they broke up. Alot of women enjoy gay porn, and most guys are forgetful, especially if it is buried in his closet in a box under a few other things.

 

[Etoile]

Wow...I couldn't find the threads you're referring to, but I found some others like "I'm in love with a lesbian" and other wonderful things. Have these people heard of spell check, let alone sanity check?

 

[PhoebeGB]

They get what they deserve at PlentyOfFish ... Adware and Viruses abound there... never mind the closed minds

 

[emap]

It's a free site, and not for posting stories, besides I betcha that most of the people there are no more than 24, apparently most anyone 24 and under has the mentality of a kid, they just work because they have to but otherwise it's all about playing games and going to bars.

There was an article about this weird guyland in MSN, according to that the young men and women pretty much all have this mentality that they shouldn't be doing much of anything besides enjoy themselves. Which of course makes me feel old, cause I always had this thought that I had to be doing something, and playing games wasn't at the top of it. Going to bars actually was, but I worked in bars so I got a good excuse.

 

[human_male]

It's a free site, and not for posting stories, besides I betcha that most of the people there are no more than 24, apparently most anyone 24 and under has the mentality of a kid, they just work because they have to but otherwise it's all about playing games and going to bars.

There was an article about this weird guyland in MSN, according to that the young men and women pretty much all have this mentality that they shouldn't be doing much of anything besides enjoy themselves. Which of course makes me feel old, cause I always had this thought that I had to be doing something, and playing games wasn't at the top of it. Going to bars actually was, but I worked in bars so I got a good excuse.

I read that article and I'm embarrassed to say I'm a bit like that. I sometimes feel I haven't matured much past twenty. I was chatting with a guy at work who's only twenty four and I feel less mature than him, and I'm fourteen years older.

It wasn't a choice on my part though. I tried hard when I was young. I got an apprenticeship because I wanted a career, but that feel through. I probably would be married now but I never met anyone. I'd be living on my own had I the finances to. It's not that I don't want to grow up.

 

[Wolfman1982]

human_male: I think the whole thing is horrible. Since in some way I can strangely relate to what you have read. I have seen a person being attacked, and being called an arseload of sexual derogatory words. Such as fag homo etc. you know the words. And the first time the person just used one of those words (in jest) , the person was attacked by the same people who had attacked the person back then. Double standards are every where sadly.

 

[emap]

Yeah look at wolfman there.

What your talking about is actually something along the lines of I confessed I have no sins and I never did that anyway.

Just gotta love religious people, I had one badmouthing me about having sex without being married, the night before he fucked me, tried to apologize about it later.

Poop I can't make sense today, he fucked me then the next day was talking about the evils of sex before marriage.

 

[Wolfman1982]

Yeah look at wolfman there.

What your talking about is actually something along the lines of I confessed I have no sins and I never did that anyway.

Just gotta love religious people, I had one badmouthing me about having sex without being married, the night before he fucked me, tried to apologize about it later.

Poop I can't make sense today, he fucked me then the next day was talking about the evils of sex before marriage.

emap, I feel you



And well, I know the person is not a homophobe. But here is a hug from me.

 

[emap]

He actually I think was, you I am sure know the type, god loves everything and everybody, but he hates fags, he hates people who dislike others, so on so forth.

So any bad wolfy bad, I don't like Depeche Mode, pick a good band or I shall have to point my finger in your general direction and spout nonsensical nonsense at you, or wherever it is my finger happens to be pointing.

 

[PhoebeGB]

You have to be careful with the 'closed-minded' though. I had a face-to-face debate with a religious fundamentalist where I was able to give straightforward reasoned arguments why his viewpoints were flawed. He was lost for words, embarassed and angry ... so he punched me and knocked me on my ass.

He stormed off, and the crowd who had gathered helped me to my feet with comments like 'how dare he hit a woman?', which for a Transsexual like me were sufficient to let me know who had 'won' the confrontation.

 

[Wolfman1982]

He actually I think was, you I am sure know the type, god loves everything and everybody, but he hates fags, he hates people who dislike others, so on so forth.

So any bad wolfy bad, I don't like Depeche Mode, pick a good band or I shall have to point my finger in your general direction and spout nonsensical nonsense at you, or wherever it is my finger happens to be pointing.

the person who I saw being attacked, was not a homophobe. Since the person was me, and I am not a homophobe. But I hope somebody will understand that

 

[human_male]

I feel for both of you. *hugs*

 

[PhoebeGB]

Mmm - mm - mm. Lovin' that hug.

It's not like I'm an activist or anything, but I find that now that people in the GLBT communities in the UK are finding more acceptance from the general populace that the Trash Media are turning to more extreme voices to find opposition to fuel controversial headlines (and sell more papers). This just stirs more hatred amongst those who are die-hard bigots, and muddies the waters for the ill-informed who read such trash.

So you have both a wave of interest from those who are truly curious and a backlash from a vocal minority who have had their predjudices reinforced.

 

[pa-guy]

You have to be careful with the 'closed-minded' though. I had a face-to-face debate with a religious fundamentalist where I was able to give straightforward reasoned arguments why his viewpoints were flawed. He was lost for words, embarassed and angry ... so he punched me and knocked me on my ass.

He stormed off, and the crowd who had gathered helped me to my feet with comments like 'how dare he hit a woman?', which for a Transsexual like me were sufficient to let me know who had 'won' the confrontation.

Well thats true of many extremists. When you show them logical arguments that counter their illogical ones, some can't handle it.

I love a good argument, but the older I get the more I realize people seem to have little desire to change their mind on anything...its so sad to me...

 

[human_male]

It happened again. I don't know what it is about that site, or if it's just the world (outside Lit) at large.

A woman had a relationship with someone who started to express desires to be bottomed in bed. She thought that was weird and had it out with him and discovered (or maybe just jumped to the conclusion) that's he's bi.

She ended it with him and now she's all hurt because she thought they had a monogamous relationship (and since he's bi he's obviously promiscuous), feeling betrayed, is gunshy about men and is worried he might have infected her with something.

Then there's a reply from a woman who thinks it's sad that he deceived and betrayed her like that, used her and took advantage of her but at least she found out what he's like sooner rather than later.

I'm probably going to be totally vilified (I'm afraid to go back actually) but I had to tell her I didn't see what the big deal was (unless he was actually screwing around on her which she didn't say he was or not). I told her I thought she was either insecure or naive about sexuality and that being bi (if he indeed is bi) didn't mean he was promiscuous, or preferred men, or loved her any less or was any less attracted to her and that some women actually enjoy this aspect of their partner's sexuality and explore it with them.

I also said that I was dismayed by the replies she'd received so far. Yep, I bet I'm going to be even more popular over there than I am now.