Bistro Bijou

[UnderYourSpell]

oooooooooh they stop you having impure thoughts and masturbating

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Here ya go UYS, the skinny on graham crackers.

Ok, so I was reading through the hiliarious ancient transcripts. Dammit, how far back does this giraffe business go?

Even further than I do.

I think I've distilled it into a picture of either Sara or Ange riding bareback on a giraffe, galloping over the savannah, brandishing a brightly emblazoned Zulu shield and clad, well, like Maureen O'Sullivan in Tarzan.

Works for me.

And yes, UYS, Graham crackers ostensibly keep you from being horny.

But they don't work, so don't worry.

This movie, the Road to Wellville, is not only very funny but a pretty accurate portrayal of the excessively Freudian approach to health in America during that particular little craze. Highly recommend it, if you can get hold of it - it's got a stunning cast and it's perfectly hilarious.

Why, oh why can't we keep the little boys and girls from touching themselves? It's such a terrible problem.

bj

 

[Angeline]

Even further than I do.

I think I've distilled it into a picture of either Sara or Ange riding bareback on a giraffe, galloping over the savannah, brandishing a brightly emblazoned Zulu shield and clad, well, like Maureen O'Sullivan in Tarzan.

Works for me.

And yes, UYS, Graham crackers ostensibly keep you from being horny.

But they don't work, so don't worry.

This movie, the Road to Wellville, is not only very funny but a pretty accurate portrayal of the excessively Freudian approach to health in America during that particular little craze. Highly recommend it, if you can get hold of it - it's got a stunning cast and it's perfectly hilarious.

Why, oh why can't we keep the little boys and girls from touching themselves? It's such a terrible problem.

bj

I like that image. I think Sara and I should hang on to it. I feel so elevated, considering the other directions the story could go.

My father dated Maureen Sullivan. So he claimed. Once. As far as I know. He also said she was gorgeous and that they went dancing, lindy hopping and jitterbugging. Before she was famous of course.

On the other hand, this story is coming from the same man who once handed me five hairs in a kleenex and swore they came from the head of Ringo Starr who had lost them to some woman who grabbed them off his head while on the train to Washington, DC. And she gave five to my dad. Lol! You could never accuse him of not having imagination. And I slept with those hairs under my pillow for weeks.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

I like that image. I think Sara and I should hang on to it. I feel so elevated, considering the other directions the story could go.

My father dated Maureen Sullivan. So he claimed. Once. As far as I know. He also said she was gorgeous and that they went dancing, lindy hopping and jitterbugging. Before she was famous of course.

On the other hand, this story is coming from the same man who once handed me five hairs in a kleenex and swore they came from the head of Ringo Starr who had lost them to some woman who grabbed them off his head while on the train to Washington, DC. And she gave five to my dad. Lol! You could never accuse him of not having imagination. And I slept with those hairs under my pillow for weeks.

Five Ringo hairs?

I think I have a recipe around here somewhere that calls for those. But it's for Seven Seals Temporary Omnipotence Powder and I'm afraid if I make it, it might work.

Also, getting hold of the snake's breath and the Tony Curtis toenails has been a problem so far.

bj

 

[Angeline]

Five Ringo hairs?

I think I have a recipe around here somewhere that calls for those. But it's for Seven Seals Temporary Omnipotence Powder and I'm afraid if I make it, it might work.

Also, getting hold of the snake's breath and the Tony Curtis toenails has been a problem so far.

bj

In any case you are too late because my mother threw out the hairs. Just like she did the sweaty towel I got from that Paul Revere and the Raiders concert. And all my Beatles cards. Complete sets even. Sigh.

I already have temporary omnipotence here every night from 11 to 11:15 pm, so that's when I exercise my powers. Otherwise I'm a mild-mannered poet from Maine.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

In any case you are too late because my mother threw out the hairs. Just like she did the sweaty towel I got from that Paul Revere and the Raiders concert. And all my Beatles cards. Complete sets even. Sigh.

I already have temporary omnipotence here every night from 11 to 11:15 pm, so that's when I exercise my powers. Otherwise I'm a mild-mannered poet from Maine.

The book says I can substitute five hairs from a basilisk. But then I have to use manticore fewmets instead of capers, so that probably won't work either.

I need to get out more.

Oh and listen, I have a couple of requests for your next fifteen minutes, if your list isn't already too long.

They have to do with folding space and time so that people who live far away from each other can interact more directly. So that may take some focus.


bj

eta: I'm sure yer mom is nice and all, but man, throwing those things out is just wrong.

 

[Tzara]

oooooooooh they stop you having impure thoughts and masturbating

No they don't. They just make it taste better.

They're good with just butter on them and even better with chocolate frosting.

 

[Angeline]

The book says I can substitute five hairs from a basilisk. But then I have to use manticore fewmets instead of capers, so that probably won't work either.

I need to get out more.

Oh and listen, I have a couple of requests for your next fifteen minutes, if your list isn't already too long.

They have to do with folding space and time so that people who live far away from each other can interact more directly. So that may take some focus.


bj

eta: I'm sure yer mom is nice and all, but man, throwing those things out is just wrong.

I'll ask EE if he can spare me. When you're omnipotent there are so many interesting ways to use your power.

My mother sees the world through a different lens than most people. Namely me.

 

[Sara Crewe]

I am just stopping in whilst drinking my 'before bed to counteract the large amount of scotch running through your veins" water.

So, not a good idea to be susceptible to goading and brother-in-laws who are twice your size and can therefore hold liquor than you but some where along the way your brain stops being logical about body mass and ends up just flat out being competitive. Now I dunno if I can feel any of the toes on my left foot and the tip of my nose is numb.

But look at me. I can still type..


what talent.

Night peeps.

You talk a lot when I'm not here.

Just sayin'.

Going now for real.

Really.

 

[Sara Crewe]

Ohai, secret message to the Lit Old Farts, or at least any Farts as old or older than me here:

i've been wandering back through MTVM's (or "meatieveetie, if you like") 'You jey' thread. Was thinking about bookmarking the "How the Grand Nymph of Nymphomania Met Her Evil Grand Vizier" area. But I've already found a couple of hilarious bits that made me lol. and roffle.

Like the pie fight.

*laughing*

Okay. Really going to bed now--or today. Morning is going to hurt.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Careful you will get blood in your alcohol stream

 

[Sara Crewe]

Careful you will get blood in your alcohol stream

No worries.


Now we have moved to pouring coffee directly into my brain. Is the best way through my eyes? I think that's a more direct route than my ears and I really don't want any new holes in my head.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

No worries.


Now we have moved to pouring coffee directly into my brain. Is the best way through my eyes? I think that's a more direct route than my ears and I really don't want any new holes in my head.

You really reallllllllly do not want the answer to this .......

 

[Sara Crewe]

You really reallllllllly do not want the answer to this .......

Aw, UYS, I set ya up for a great line and everything.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I am soooooo not going there lol

 

[Homburg]

I am just stopping in whilst drinking my 'before bed to counteract the large amount of scotch running through your veins" water.

Try gatorade (or whatever sport drink you prefer) and a multi-vitamin. A better choice would be half the multi-vitamin before you start drinking, and half when you go to bed. Alcohol is toxin, thus why you get drunk. It is the toxin's effect on your system. Part of fighting th toxin is loss of water as your body fight to flush the poison out. Along with that water you lose electrolytes (salt and potassium, for example), and various vitamins and minerals get used up or stripped out as well. A hangover is largely due to dehydration and the toxic byproducts left in your system (assuming you don't just wake up drunk.

Doing water alone ain't bad, as you need water, but doing a sports drink will also give you electrolytes. If you don't like sports drinks, most pharmacies and health food stores sell potassium (in forms like potassium citrate and the like). A couple of 99mg tabs will help greatly (It's also a good thing to take after doing a lot of exercise of physical labour in serious heat, as your body loses a load of potassium in such activities, and this is a big cause of cramps later). You will still need to figure out how to get salt in your system, but most people can suss that out on their own.

The half multi taken before and half after is a good idea for general health, and can help with headaches. Taking some before means you have a bit more of the stuff in your system before you start. Taking some after replaces some of what has been stripped.

These were tips gleaned from a friend that was all but a professional drunkard for almost a decade. Any man that can rack up $20k in bar tabs in one city, while keeping a full time midlevel corporate job, knows how to drink.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

What is gatorade

 

[Sara Crewe]

Try gatorade (or whatever sport drink you prefer) and a multi-vitamin. A better choice would be half the multi-vitamin before you start drinking, and half when you go to bed. Alcohol is toxin, thus why you get drunk. It is the toxin's effect on your system. Part of fighting th toxin is loss of water as your body fight to flush the poison out. Along with that water you lose electrolytes (salt and potassium, for example), and various vitamins and minerals get used up or stripped out as well. A hangover is largely due to dehydration and the toxic byproducts left in your system (assuming you don't just wake up drunk.

Doing water alone ain't bad, as you need water, but doing a sports drink will also give you electrolytes. If you don't like sports drinks, most pharmacies and health food stores sell potassium (in forms like potassium citrate and the like). A couple of 99mg tabs will help greatly (It's also a good thing to take after doing a lot of exercise of physical labour in serious heat, as your body loses a load of potassium in such activities, and this is a big cause of cramps later). You will still need to figure out how to get salt in your system, but most people can suss that out on their own.

The half multi taken before and half after is a good idea for general health, and can help with headaches. Taking some before means you have a bit more of the stuff in your system before you start. Taking some after replaces some of what has been stripped.

These were tips gleaned from a friend that was all but a professional drunkard for almost a decade. Any man that can rack up $20k in bar tabs in one city, while keeping a full time midlevel corporate job, knows how to drink.

Thanks, Homburg. I do have some gatorade in the house. I'll grab it to have with lunch.

I'm actually feeling okay now. Mainly suffering due to lack of sleep not too many drinks.

20K!! That's insane. That would take effort!

 

[Guest]

What is gatorade

"Gatorade is a flavored non-carbonated sports drink formulated to rehydrate and replenish fluid, carbohydrates and electrolytes", so says Wikipedia.

It's not that bad. I like the boring orange flavor, ice cold, after my 5-miler.

 

[champagne1982]

Alcohol, being the carbohydrate that quickly crosses the blood brain barrier it is, crowds out h2o and o2 receptors on our cells, leaving us dehydrated and oxidated. This is why any electrolyte replacement beverage and vitamins (particularly C and B compounds) serve us so well before, during and after excessive consumption of CH3CH2OH (ethanol, aka grain alcohol).

 

[Guest]

Or don't drink ahl-kee-haul excessively (or don't partake at all) you won't have to replace with engineered chemicals to gain homeostasis.

 

[Homburg]

20K!! That's insane. That would take effort!

Like I said, a pro

Alcohol, being the carbohydrate that quickly crosses the blood brain barrier it is, crowds out h2o and o2 receptors on our cells, leaving us dehydrated and oxidated. This is why any electrolyte replacement beverage and vitamins (particularly C and B compounds) serve us so well before, during and after excessive consumption of CH3CH2OH (ethanol, aka grain alcohol).

Knowledge shared, and all that.

 

[Sara Crewe]

Like I said, a pro

.

lol I think there might be better things to excel at...

 

[Homburg]

lol I think there might be better things to excel at...

Fortunately, he is out of that phase, married, and no longer so chemically self-destructive.

 

[Sara Crewe]

Fortunately, he is out of that phase, married, and no longer so chemically self-destructive.

He is a very strong and smart man then.