Bi married Guys, does she know?

My wife and I are both bi. She enjoys watching me please a man and I enjoy watching her with women. We're equal-opportunity hedonists. :)
 
Yes, she knows and wholeheartedly approves! Has created some VERY hot sex for us, and some great playdates! She totally gets off on the guys sucking and fucking each other.

Yeah, I'm replying for him, lol... He never gets on Lit, let alone read the message boards.
 
My ex-wife knew I was bi long before we were married. In fact, I was in a gay relationship when we met, and she knew my lover also. We dated for three years before getting married, and she encouraged me to satisfy my bi urges occasionally but with the firm understanding that when we got married I was done with men. I frequently acted on my bi desires right up until we were married. In fact, two nights before my wedding at my bachelor's party I was fortunate enough to participate in an incredible MMF threesome.

After we were married I remained 100% faithful to her until we separated 21 years later. We often talked about our past sex lives, and she always wanted to hear details about my sexual encounters with men, but she was never interested in going any further.

After my divorce I have tried very hard to make up for those 21 years. I am currently in a relationship with my female secretary who is very open-minded and willing to try everything. We have had a number of threesomes with other men and women, and also some foursomes and larger groups. She has recently begun to experiment with other women as well, but says she prefers to see me having sex with other men. I'm okay with that.

Andy
 
I am one of those that experimented at a very early age. To be honest when it started out we didn't know what we were doing or what it meant sexually. We were just having fun. My parents then moved to another town when I started Jr. High and my same sex fun came to an abrupt end. All through puberty I believed when you grow up you met a woman you got married and lived happily ever after. It was not until I read Penthouse letters in my late teens that I realize adults did have same sex fun and in some parts of the country it was even more or less acceptable. I also knew the medium size Mid Western city I lived in same sex behavoir was not condoned at all. The city I lived in only had one gay bar for a metro area of about 200,000 and local law enforcement turned a blind eye towards gay bashing. I know that for fact because I had a high school class mate get off on a assault and battery charge when he told the police the person he beat the shit out of was gay.

My Curiousity kept growing through my twenties but I never had the courage to act on it besides I did not know any one who would admit to doing same sex activity. I was not going to to to the one gay bar out of fear of being seen.

Shortly after I married my ex wife we talked about our past experiences and for the first time in my life I told some one about my child hood experiences. She was not accepting at all. When I admitted I would like to suck cock again as an adult she nearly lost it. It was the one thing she could not accept about me. In her mind real men don't have sex with men. I did experiment a little during my marriage and for the longest time my first wife did not know until one of the guys I experimented with called her up and told her what we did together. To this day I can not forgive that ass hole. He was the only one she knew about and she knew I still had a very strong interest in same sex activity. The relationship eventually ended badly, very badly as a matter of fact. She had developed some destructive personal problems that she blamed on my sexuality and she started to see some one else. I know there are those of you who are saying aren't you the pot calling the kettle black and in away your right. In my case how ever I did not loose perspective as to what is important and what my priorities were. They were in fact her and my two kids. In her case she was going out 6 nights a week to be with this guy leaving me home alone with the kids and spending 60% of the family income on this guy. I finally got tired of it and kicked her out of the house and divorced her.

After my divorce I went through a learning experience. The first lesson is you are what you are and you ain't what you ain't. Second lesson was that if you don't like yourself how do you expect any one else to like you. It was a long hard journey to learn those two lessons. The third lesson was you can't force any one to like you or to have the same interest you have.

I went through a series of short relationships before I learned the first two lessons. I quickly learned to be up front and honest about my sexuality. I found out if you hide it or lie about it you have just sown the seeds of destruction for the relationship. It took me awhile to find some one who would accept me for me and accept all facets of my personality make up including my sexual interest. I have been with my current wife for 6 years over all they have been a happy six years. I would be lying if I said we did not have our problems but all couples have problems. It is how you work them out. My sexuality and my sexual activity with men how ever is not one of them. Because we agreed from the out set I would not lie to her and I would answer all of her questions about what we did together.

So to answer the question of this thread, yes my wife knows and she has even watched a few times and she will watch me again in the future if she wants to
 
would like to hear from other men and there wives reaction when they tried to discuss this topic
 
She Knows

Pretty sure my wife knows....first time I met her was when she walked in on me blowing her brother, lol.
 
Nope, she Doesn't -- and let's keep it that way

I am quite secretly bi -- and although we share fantasies of bi-sexual activities, acting them out in real life would not be acceptable (I'm sorry to say...).
 
Nope...

She doesn't know...but I would love to have her use a strap on. I almost got to try anal on her (we were in a liquid courage moment - a few Mai Tai's....
 
She doesn't know...but I would love to have her use a strap on. I almost got to try anal on her (we were in a liquid courage moment - a few Mai Tai's....

You should tell her, maybe she secretly wants to fuck you with a strap-on!
 
My wife knows that I want a thresome. I have not told her that I want to kind of be with him too. For her, things have to happen and she will go with the flow. If I try to plan something sexual she gets upset with me. Trying to have him come over alone for dinner. we shall see!


Hi

Just like to ask bi married guys, and guys in a relationship, does your other half know about your bi sexual side and if she does how did she find out and if she doesn't know what is stopping you telling her.

My wife doesn't know I'm bi for the reason that she wouldn't accept it and I would become divorced very quickly.


Thanks
 
My wife has no idea. I have been bi for around 6 going on 7 years and my desires started after a rough patch of relationships. I have hinted to my wife and felt the waters and her reaction was not pleasant. I continue to meet with "friends" and she is under the impression we watch a game at their house or whatnot.
 
I have been married twice, and in both cases, I told them everything. Everything being that I was attracted to sex with men, but not interested in relationships. I had once played with a guy's cock but nothing else. That I fantasized about sex with men.

In the first case, she said that she didn't want to hear any more. In the second case, we played with toys a little bit, but it soon ended.

I had a friend who was bi and he told a girlfriend everything. They lived together for a while and when they broke up, she told every that knew him that he was gay.

If I get into a relationship again, I think I will be honest. If that kills the relationship, I'm okay with that. I would rather be with someone who understands and appreciates me rather than someone who wants me to fill whatever box they think I should fit.
 
My wife knows I like anal play... she's used a few fingers and toys on me. But I haven't been able to progress it beyond there after many years of trying. :(
 
My wife knows i'm bi but doesn't really entertain that side, saying that she likes (or at least i think she likes) using anal beads on me.

I told her 6 month (7 years ago) into the relationship - she cried but i think she's happy now as we're happily married. Don't entertain any bi ideas or thoughts in front of her though. Bit of a no no. Saying i get off on ts/tv porn would deff be a very big no. Not really a BDSM fan herself. Never tried but i'd love to. Would never entertain cheating on her though. No matter how desperate i was for cock.
 
interesting question...yet bisexuals are given sanctuary with GLBT privileges in the workplace,housing,etc.
if you were born bisexual your wife shouldn't have a problem with it as legally I'm prohibited from forming an unfavorable opinion or taking any action.if your wife finds out and divorces you,you should file a discrimination lawsuit against her.
that scenario will find a judge somewhere someday who'll weigh in favor of the bisexual male and a new precedent will've been borne out of her intolerance and will be celebrated annually much like Stonewall is in the gay community.
America! What a country!
 
I mentioned to my wife when we first started playing around, that I had some experiences. She was grossed out. We never brought it up again.

A few years back, she found some pics from website on our computer of a gay nature. She confronted me and started crying. I told her, it really did not mean that much and that I did not want to be scared anymore.

My desire were few are far between the past 20 or so years. But now all of a sudden, it's come back with a vengeance. Which leaves some questions unanswered.
 
I mentioned to my wife when we first started playing around, that I had some experiences. She was grossed out. We never brought it up again.

A few years back, she found some pics from website on our computer of a gay nature. She confronted me and started crying. I told her, it really did not mean that much and that I did not want to be scared anymore.

My desire were few are far between the past 20 or so years. But now all of a sudden, it's come back with a vengeance. Which leaves some questions unanswered.

This is a story that you've seen repeated in various ways throughout this thread - a married guy (usually) discovering that it's harder and harder to deny his sexual desires in the face of a hostile or disapproving spouse.

Guys, I've been there, done that, and got the divorce after ten years of marriage. Second time around I made sure on the front end that we shared the same kinks, desires interests and ideas of how to have sexual fun. Life's too short.
 
Yeh gingermango,

I agree to a certain extent. Maybe at that time, if I said, "Well this is who I am", and she said "Bye." that would have been one way out. But at that time (and sometimes to this day) I have some problem classifying some of those experiences. Some get gray and hazy and border on abuse (or at least power trips).

Sometimes, I think it could be a situation where, if your OP knows and it's no big deal, it would cease being a big deal to me. And one would be able to deal with it as any other person dealing with arousing thoughts, dreams or coworkers of the opposite sex.
 
My wifes knows, approves, and likes to watch. She knows that I love only her, and that I would only play with her knowledge and consent.
 
Mine knows

My wife knows that I am curious, and has known for a few years now. We talk about it on occasion, and hope to find the right guy for us to experience it together. She is very understanding of it, as she has been curious herself for quite some time.:D
 
I know about my husband's bi side. He began to talk to me openly about it soon after we were married, but I really already had it figured out before. It's okay with me. Sexuality is an integral part of who you are, and I don't think you can change it or permanently turn part of it off. So, I love him, and accept every aspect of him.
 
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