Bistro Bijou

[unpredictablebijou]

You mean he is one of your HUSBANDS !!!!!!!
~~~~~~sigh~~~~~ no-one even noticed me pins shall go sulk and find another AV

This deserves its very own post.

Of course I noticed those stellar legs. And there's saliva on my screen to prove it.

Ur so cute I just want to pinch all your cheeks.

bj

speaking of legs

 

[unpredictablebijou]

I am neither naked, nor sweaty, as of this moment.

now I am sad.


lie to me.

bj

 

[Anschul]

I really like how the female-superior, rear facing position is referred to as "normal" and missionary position is "backwards."

I also totally love this line. It made me lol:

Joel and Jackie are extremely fond of this standing-up, rear-entry position, as they often like to have a go in unusual places.

WTF why am I making jewelry all day when I could make a living writing like that?

Oh wait yeah. The porn I get to watch at work is WAY better than those movies.

Congrats on the gig. What a hoot that must have been...

bj

You get to watch porn at work? Need a lovely assistant?

Yeah, it was actually pretty funny. The wife was full of funny suggestions (did I mention she's a writer, too? Our particular favorite was number 23. The research was incredible.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

You get to watch porn at work? Need a lovely assistant?

Yeah, it was actually pretty funny. The wife was full of funny suggestions (did I mention she's a writer, too? Our particular favorite was number 23. The research was incredible.

What color cowboy hat did she wear for that one?

I like to have a lariat handy too, just in case.

bj

*Third-Eye Sadie, Cowgrrrl Prophet's mantra:
yeeeeee-hawwwwww*

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Speaking of editing, and because this is, after all, a porn site, I have to submit the following for your (especially you, bj) approval:

I just got finished a freelance writing job for a guy who is building what he (ironically) calls an educational site. The assignment was to take 29 animations (he called them "movies") and write 500- 600-word descriptions of what was going on, from an "educational" perspective. But he wanted me to include the entire scope of the experience, including the build-up to "completion" (his word). I actually got paid for this job, in real live American dollars, at a pretty hefty rate, for what turned out to be about 18000 words. The thing is about a surreal as you can imagine, but it paid the rent, so have a look. The web site I wrote this for is not yet up (it's sourced out of India), but HERE is a preview of

THE FUTURE OF SEX EDUCATION​

​

Just click any of the buttons at the bottom and be prepared to be entertained by someone else's animations and my stellar writing. Line forms to the rear.

What's my Ron doing with Theresa?

 

[unpredictablebijou]

What's my Ron doing with Theresa?

You should cut him some slack. It was for science.

Besides, look at her. You're WAY hotter than she is.


bj

 

[UnderYourSpell]

There's loads missing where's the rest?

 

[unpredictablebijou]

There's loads missing where's the rest?

Of her boobs, you mean?

 

[Anschul]

What's my Ron doing with Theresa?

Did you watch? I thought I spelled out quite clearly what your Ron was doing with Theresa.

 

[sassynyc]

THE FUTURE OF SEX EDUCATION​

​

Just click any of the buttons at the bottom and be prepared to be entertained by someone else's animations and my stellar writing. Line forms to the rear.



oh....this is priceless i'll have you know, i've been thoroughly entertained. where do i sign up for a gig like this?

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Of her boobs, you mean?

Positions dear positions! Do we get to oral etc at a later date?

Did you watch? I thought I spelled out quite clearly what your Ron was doing with Theresa.

I never knew he had it in him or to be precise in Theresa now

 

[LeBroz]

.
.

I trust the bar is also stocked with absinthe. Now that's something with quite a potent kick. For those who wonder, here's a portion from an article in LiveScience:


An analysis of century-old bottles of absinthe - the kind once quaffed by the likes of van Gogh and Picasso to enhance their creativity - may end the controversy over what ingredient caused the green liqueur's supposed mind-altering effects.

The culprit seems plain and simple: The century-old absinthe contained about 70 percent alcohol, giving it a 140-proof kick. In comparison, most gins, vodkas and whiskeys are just 80- to 100-proof.

In recent years, the psychedelic nature of absinthe has been hotly debated. Absinthe was notorious among 19th-century and early 20th-century bohemian artists as "the Green Fairy" that expanded the mind. After it became infamous for madness and toxic side effects among drinkers, it was widely banned.

.
.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

We've had the green fairy in here before and since finding out what it tastes of you can keep it thankyou lol

 

[champagne1982]

We've had the green fairy in here before and since finding out what it tastes of you can keep it thankyou lol

Ahh, yes, the as the worm turns Absinthe induced poetry. I for one, find it impossible to focus, nevermind hold a stylus or type when I'm even slightly impaired. I can't imagine drinking enough to hallucinate and still get it down in a semblance of English. Perhaps that's where the "artistry" comes in? LOL, as the tree morphs into a snake with a trunk into a long blissed sigh of eeeeeeeeeeeeee? D see UYS, I managed to keep my reference to big ones metaphoric I hope )

And yes, we know you don't like licorice, even wormwood scented licorice that leaves a bitter blech laying around on your tongue... BTW, loverly legs. If that's Ron, he's looking ready to smoosh his face into your cleavage all too happily.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

The absinthe I had long long ago was homemade, and did have a rather high alcohol content, but no more than the kahlua made by the same guy. What I noticed was that the wormwood seemed to add a bit of mellow, opium-like quality that wasn't quite what I'd experienced from normal alcohol.

Wormwood in tea and in smoking blends does similar things, although its effects are pretty mellow. Don't try this at home, kids.

I'm still waiting for the real stuff. Someday I'm going to do that whole absinthe scene from the most recent Bram Stoker Dracula.

And I get to be Dracula.

bj

 

[Anschul]

Heeeeyyyyyyyyy!!!! I though I was the green fairy...

Ahh, yes, the as the worm turns Absinthe induced poetry. I for one, find it impossible to focus, nevermind hold a stylus or type when I'm even slightly impaired. I can't imagine drinking enough to hallucinate and still get it down in a semblance of English. Perhaps that's where the "artistry" comes in? LOL, as the tree morphs into a snake with a trunk into a long blissed sigh of eeeeeeeeeeeeee? D see UYS, I managed to keep my reference to big ones metaphoric I hope )

And yes, we know you don't like licorice, even wormwood scented licorice that leaves a bitter blech laying around on your tongue... BTW, loverly legs. If that's Ron, he's looking ready to smoosh his face into your cleavage all too happily.

This reminds me of my time with the Grateful Dead. Or maybe it's really happening now...uuuhhhhhhh...

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Heeeeyyyyyyyyy!!!! I though I was the green fairy...




This reminds me of my time with the Grateful Dead. Or maybe it's really happening now...uuuhhhhhhh...

Why does a Deadhead wave his arms around when he dances?

He's trying to keep the music off his face.

bj

 

[Anschul]

Why does a Deadhead wave his arms around when he dances?

He's trying to keep the music off his face.

bj

...Hey. This band sucks. * repeats himself *

 

[Shankara20]

And I get to be Dracula.

bj

*sounds of Shank slipping into sub space....*


bite me!

please

 

[unpredictablebijou]

...Hey. This band sucks. * repeats himself *

lawl.

It's BATSHIT CRAZY DAY at the shop. Just had a lady in here who may be the craziest customer ever, and in this shop that's really saying something.

She had long, constant conversations with her voices: "What? Oh. Okay, I'll tell her. Don't rush me. She already drinks chamomile tea. Who's Kirsten?" and so on. She asked if I did "past life reductions" and then told me all about my past life as her cousin in the 15th century. She tried on one of the kimonos and wandered around the shop in it, talking to the cats... or whatever.

Then she bought four drams of oil: frankincense, (which she called "incense") myrrh, citronella and sage (for the record, it's going to smell AWFUL) and then left the shop, reappearing with a bottle of hot sauce, which she was drinking. She finished the sauce and then poured all four of the oils into the unrinsed bottle, assuring me that this was a money spell.

She asked if she could have one of the cats. I said no. She said her parents had been fourth cousins. (I don't doubt that). She told me about a children's book she'd written about beets, and offered to "send" it to my mind so I could see the pictures. I said I wasn't good at that form of psychic ability, so she just told me about the pictures instead.

She was here for about an hour. I was informed by her voices that I need to be chanting the words "la pa" more often. She assured me that she used to work in the fashion industry and that I would be a big success if I ever wanted to follow in her footsteps.

wow man. I'm still a little off center.

bj

 

[unpredictablebijou]

*sounds of Shank slipping into sub space....*


bite me!

please

on my way south, dressed like this.

bj

 

[Shankara20]

She asked if I did "past life reductions"
bj

hmmm, I wonder if she was able to reduce several regressions into one reading?

Do you have a tree close by you can run out and hug? I'm very serious. Get grounded ASAP for the love of goddess .

And wash your hands in cold running water right now.

Then get your butt in here and bite me!

 

[Shankara20]

on my way south, dressed like this.

bj

oh god....

bite me then fuck me......

 

[Tzara]

She told me about a children's book she'd written about beets. . .

One is never too young to read about beets.

 

[Angeline]

lawl.

It's BATSHIT CRAZY DAY at the shop. Just had a lady in here who may be the craziest customer ever, and in this shop that's really saying something.

She had long, constant conversations with her voices: "What? Oh. Okay, I'll tell her. Don't rush me. She already drinks chamomile tea. Who's Kirsten?" and so on. She asked if I did "past life reductions" and then told me all about my past life as her cousin in the 15th century. She tried on one of the kimonos and wandered around the shop in it, talking to the cats... or whatever.

Then she bought four drams of oil: frankincense, (which she called "incense") myrrh, citronella and sage (for the record, it's going to smell AWFUL) and then left the shop, reappearing with a bottle of hot sauce, which she was drinking. She finished the sauce and then poured all four of the oils into the unrinsed bottle, assuring me that this was a money spell.

She asked if she could have one of the cats. I said no. She said her parents had been fourth cousins. (I don't doubt that). She told me about a children's book she'd written about beets, and offered to "send" it to my mind so I could see the pictures. I said I wasn't good at that form of psychic ability, so she just told me about the pictures instead.

She was here for about an hour. I was informed by her voices that I need to be chanting the words "la pa" more often. She assured me that she used to work in the fashion industry and that I would be a big success if I ever wanted to follow in her footsteps.

wow man. I'm still a little off center.

bj

You're obviously not chanting la pa enough.