Novelists strike enters fourth month

[shereads]

Novelists Strike Fails To Affect Nation Whatsoever

LOS ANGELES—The Novelists Guild of America strike, now entering its fourth month, has had no impact on the nation at all, sources reported Tuesday.

The strike, which scholars say could be the longest since 1951, when American novelists may or may not have voluntarily committed to a six-month work stoppage, has brought an immediate halt to all new novels, novellas, and novelettes from coast to coast, affecting no one.

Nor has America's economy seen any adverse effects whatsoever, as consumers easily adjust to the sudden cessation of any bold new sprawling works of fiction or taut psychological character studies.

<snip>

The strike kicked off last fall when the NGA announced it had hit a roadblock in negotiations with the Alliance of Printed Fiction and Literature Producers, failing to resolve certain key issues concerning online distribution, digital media rights, and readers just not getting what writers were trying to do with a number of important allegorical devices.

<snip>

So far, sources say, no one has attempted to cross the picket lines, most of which are located in private homes. However, unconfirmed reports indicate that at least one novelist may be breaking the strike by writing under the pseudonym "Richard Bachman."

"We must, as a people, achieve a resolution to this strike soon," novelist David Foster Wallace said at a rally Monday at Pomona College in Claremont, CA, where he is a professor. "The thought of this country being deprived of its only source of book-length fiction is enough to give one the howling fantods."

"I thank you both for coming," he added.

THE ONION | MARCH 15, 2008

 

[starlightqueen]

Hehe, how gullible am I? I got halfway through the article before I was like "no way this is true".

the onion

 

[PrincessErin]

He he.

Do I get bonus points for knowing who Richard Bachman is? Or more like know who used that name as his pen name?

Erin

 

[Guest]

Wonders what sher is going to do with her nearly completed novel?

 

[shereads]

Wonders what sher is going to do with her nearly completed novel?

Start it?

 

[Guest]

Start it?

Better get your ass in gear. That strike won't last forever, yannow.

 

[shereads]

Better get your ass in gear. That strike won't last forever, yannow.

You getting the howling fantods?

 

[Guest]

You getting the howling fantods?

My bellybutton's been puckering and unpuckering all day.

 

[Edward Teach]

Howling Fantods

Is that what Chris Matthews gets every time he mentions the Clintons? He was talking about Hillary the other night and started foaming at the mouth -- had to ask for a towel.

maybe he had the Foaming Fantods

 

[dr_mabeuse]

He he.

Do I get bonus points for knowing who Richard Bachman is? Or more like know who used that name as his pen name?

Erin

Wasn't that the guy who wrote Jonathan Livingston Seagull? He wrote some book about a guy who flies a bi-plane?

 

[Guest]

Wasn't that the guy who wrote Jonathan Livingston Seagull? He wrote some book about a guy who flies a bi-plane?

Illusions, yes?

I remember some guy when I was an undergrad trying to sell me a line about how magical and spiritual it was.

I read it then but haven't since. I still think he was just trying to get laid.

 

[cheerful_deviant]

I still think he was just trying to get laid.

Did it work?

 

[Guest]

Did it work?

Nope.

 

[cheerful_deviant]

Nope.

Damn.... another potential pickup line down the drain.

 

[Guest]

Damn.... another potential pickup line down the drain.

 

[cheerful_deviant]

I'll have to go back to advertising on my tee shirts:

http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2007-12/1290194/BT-thenotebook-gallery_artwork_thumb-3237.jpg

 

[TxRad]

I'd burn my two novels in protest but that would be considered air pollution by some. or most.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Maybe that's why no one will publish it. Maybe I've been on strike all this time and just didn't know it.

Maybe everyone really respects me and is honoring my picket lines.

 

[impressive]

Maybe that's why no one will publish it. Maybe I've been on strike all this time and just didn't know it.

Maybe everyone really respects me and is honoring my picket lines.

Stealth picket lines. *nods* That's it!

 

[Guest]

Maybe that's why no one will publish it. Maybe I've been on strike all this time and just didn't know it.

Maybe everyone really respects me and is honoring my picket lines.

Or maybe they just want to get laid.

 

[jomar]

I'll have to go back to advertising on my tee shirts:

http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2007-12/1290194/BT-thenotebook-gallery_artwork_thumb-3237.jpg

Brilliant marketing ploy. And it was a good movie - she's totally hot.

 

[shereads]

I thought Richard Bachman was Stephen King.

 

[cheerful_deviant]

I thought Richard Bachman was Stephen King.

That's just what the government want's you to think.

 

[MagicaPractica]

I thought Richard Bachman was Stephen King.

Yes, Erin only gets points with Steve.

 

[Guest]

I thought Richard Bachman was Stephen King.

Richard Bach wrote Illusions - and Jonathan Livingston Seagull.

Close enough, especially if you've been drinking.

Not that I have.