Cuckoldism

[Prof Bill]

I'd like to benefit from the assmebled wisdom, if I might.

I was at a munch Thursday evening that was attended by a nice and new couple. They were from a town about 70 miles away and had stopped over just to meet people and see what was going on.

In the course of conversation, we talked about the scene, how long we'd been in it, what we enjoyed, and so on. All very light chit-chat, really.

I was intrigued when he said he'd been in the scene for over ten years while she had been involved for only two or three years. and that he had brought her in "kicking and screaming" but that now she might be enjoying it too much.

We continued and I learned that their particular brand of play involved his being a pain slut and a cuckold.

Okay, I understand the pain slut stuff and have known a number. But while I know about cuckolding, I'm not sure I understand it. Can anyone help me? Are there variations in practice? Other than the basic act with which I imagine we're all familiar, what else can or does go on?

It's been a long time since I've found a kink I really don't know much about so I'm trusting all you to help me understand and learn about this.

Thanks in advance.

Prof Bill

PS: Hell, I don't even know if I'm spelling this correctly!

 

[catalina_francisco]

IME, basically it centers very much around humiliation. We have been approached by a couple of people who were interested in us helping them out with their pursuit of the practice, but so far have not found everything else fit well enough with us to include it in our play with others of that persuasion. I think for those who are heavily into it, there is much which can be done to add variety to the situation and scenes. We may end up playing with it in the future, but only if it also fulfils other needs we have in D/s situation, and certainly not from the POV of F being cuckolded but rather the other males involved.

Catalina

 

[FurryFury]

I should totally look this up. I've heard of it a lot but I want more details now.

Fury

 

[AAkasha]

I'd like to benefit from the assmebled wisdom, if I might.

I was at a munch Thursday evening that was attended by a nice and new couple. They were from a town about 70 miles away and had stopped over just to meet people and see what was going on.

In the course of conversation, we talked about the scene, how long we'd been in it, what we enjoyed, and so on. All very light chit-chat, really.

I was intrigued when he said he'd been in the scene for over ten years while she had been involved for only two or three years. and that he had brought her in "kicking and screaming" but that now she might be enjoying it too much.

We continued and I learned that their particular brand of play involved his being a pain slut and a cuckold.

Okay, I understand the pain slut stuff and have known a number. But while I know about cuckolding, I'm not sure I understand it. Can anyone help me? Are there variations in practice? Other than the basic act with which I imagine we're all familiar, what else can or does go on?

It's been a long time since I've found a kink I really don't know much about so I'm trusting all you to help me understand and learn about this.

Thanks in advance.

Prof Bill

PS: Hell, I don't even know if I'm spelling this correctly!

If they are into cuckolding in the literal sense, I'm assuming she takes other male partners as a method to humiliate or objectify her partner.

Variations of this can be mild or extreme. They may be into things like:

** They go to clubs and she dresses very hot and he must watch as other men stare at her, dance with her, fondle her, kiss her (whatever their limits allow).

** He is feminized or humiliated in front of the male partners she brings home.

** He is forced to service the male prior to him having sex with her.

** He may or may not be allowed/forced to watch. He may be tied up in the closet,for example, and forced to watch.

** He may be forced to clean up after their sex - both the man and her pussy.

** He may not be involved in the sex act at all -- but she comes home and he must clean the man's cum from her pussy.

There are so many variations. I suppose it just depends on how intimate they have agreed she can be with other men. Some couples just use this as a humiliation game and she may not take the other partners at all, just talk about it or tease him about it. Others go all the way.

Akasha

 

[FurryFury]

If they are into cuckolding in the literal sense, I'm assuming she takes other male partners as a method to humiliate or objectify her partner.

Variations of this can be mild or extreme. They may be into things like:

** They go to clubs and she dresses very hot and he must watch as other men stare at her, dance with her, fondle her, kiss her (whatever their limits allow).

** He is feminized or humiliated in front of the male partners she brings home.

** He is forced to service the male prior to him having sex with her.

** He may or may not be allowed/forced to watch. He may be tied up in the closet,for example, and forced to watch.

** He may be forced to clean up after their sex - both the man and her pussy.

** He may not be involved in the sex act at all -- but she comes home and he must clean the man's cum from her pussy.

There are so many variations. I suppose it just depends on how intimate they have agreed she can be with other men. Some couples just use this as a humiliation game and she may not take the other partners at all, just talk about it or tease him about it. Others go all the way.

Akasha

Now that is suddenly hot to me.

*smiles sweetly while fanning self*

Fury

 

[chatbug]

My opinion

The dynamics of cuckolding depend on how the wife feels about her cuckolded husband.

If she loves him more, the dynamic tends towards the wife having serial affairs.

If she decides that she loves her other lover more, then all sorts of things can happen depending on how dominant or sadistic the wife is and how submissive or masochistic the husband is. Akasha described some of them.

A couple could play with some or all of the acts Akasha described and the wife still love the cuckold husband. But, most cuckolding fantasy stories involve the wife taking advantage of or abusing her cuckolded husband, with the strong implication that she loves her lover more than her husband.

I hope the wife loves her cuckolded husband in most real cuckolding relationships, with some play.

 

[cati]

re: cuckolding

I didn't know there was a term for that of activity... thanks I've learned something new.

 

[FurryFury]

The dynamics of cuckolding depend on how the wife feels about her cuckolded husband.

If she loves him more, the dynamic tends towards the wife having serial affairs.

If she decides that she loves her other lover more, then all sorts of things can happen depending on how dominant or sadistic the wife is and how submissive or masochistic the husband is. Akasha described some of them.

A couple could play with some or all of the acts Akasha described and the wife still love the cuckold husband. But, most cuckolding fantasy stories involve the wife taking advantage of or abusing her cuckolded husband, with the strong implication that she loves her lover more than her husband.

I hope the wife loves her cuckolded husband in most real cuckolding relationships, with some play.

I am not interested in humiliating my husband ever. Unless of course, he would get off on that, or would seek it out.

Even so parts of this are very appealing to me.

Fury

 

[hoodooman]

being cuckolded sounds very erotic to me..if i were forced to watch and service..there's a delicious little shiver that rattles something deep in my soul...the humiliation sounds divine

 

[sexymom]

Sexy, but Dangerous

The whole cuckold thing is very sexy to me, but it is soooooo fraught with danger. First, there are so many couples where the interest is not shared by both. I've seen lots of letters/messages by guys who are tring to interest their wives in cuckolding them- that seems to be more common than women trying to sell the idea to their husbands. Maybe the women who are so inclined just do it, rather than talking about it. Second, you don't really know how such affairs will affect your marriage until you've been there, and then it's too late to go back. Finally, there is some impact on the "other party", and you never know how they will respond.

That probably sounds more negative than I meant it to be-- I am just promoting the "look- really really look- before you leap" idea.

 

[RawHumor]

That probably sounds more negative than I meant it to be-- I am just promoting the "look- really really look- before you leap" idea.

In my experiences, I've found that male submissives tend to be very much into degradation/humiliation. This would seem to go along with what you're saying.

 

[Prof Bill]

Thanks

Just a quick "thank you" to all those who helped educate me about cuckoldism. I was sure it involved humiliation/degradation play and I agree that it's not something you'd want to jump into without a lot of communication and thought first.

I'd welcome any other comments or personal experiences.

Thanks again.

Prof Bill

 

[sweetnpetite]

If they are into cuckolding in the literal sense, I'm assuming she takes other male partners as a method to humiliate or objectify her partner.

Variations of this can be mild or extreme. They may be into things like:

** They go to clubs and she dresses very hot and he must watch as other men stare at her, dance with her, fondle her, kiss her (whatever their limits allow).

** He is feminized or humiliated in front of the male partners she brings home.

** He is forced to service the male prior to him having sex with her.

** He may or may not be allowed/forced to watch. He may be tied up in the closet,for example, and forced to watch.

** He may be forced to clean up after their sex - both the man and her pussy.

** He may not be involved in the sex act at all -- but she comes home and he must clean the man's cum from her pussy.

There are so many variations. I suppose it just depends on how intimate they have agreed she can be with other men. Some couples just use this as a humiliation game and she may not take the other partners at all, just talk about it or tease him about it. Others go all the way.

Akasha

Wow! So many possibilties.

As an author, I am very thankful for your post. It's not something I (or my partner) would try in r/l but it might be fun to explore as fiction.

 

[chatbug]

Wow! So many possibilties.

As an author, I am very thankful for your post. It's not something I (or my partner) would try in r/l but it might be fun to explore as fiction.

Search the Literotica stories for "cuckold, cuckolds, cuckolding", and you'll find some interesting stories, not all involving humiliation or BDSM.

I've enjoyed your stories sweetnpetite. I really liked, "Kinky Kiki".

 

[sweetnpetite]

Search the Literotica stories for "cuckold, cuckolds, cuckolding", and you'll find some interesting stories, not all involving humiliation or BDSM.

I've enjoyed your stories sweetnpetite. I really liked, "Kinky Kiki".

wow, that's cool thanks. I liked that one too, but it's not one of my most popular.

One of my main goals on that was to write about smaller breasts beautifully and matter-of-factly, not as if they had to be qualified or appologized for.

Back to cuckholding...

There not my favorite category, but there's something interesting about them- I think the power that the female holds over a man. The tables are turned, and he is the sex object rather than the woman, which is often the norm in porn. Cuckholding is kindof like 'shepimping"- she may be the ho, but she's the pimp too. Even though she's having sex with all of these guys, she's not the one being degraded by it. It's such a flip of the script from most porn. Maybe that's why so many people hate it so much.

 

[chatbug]

It's not my favorite category, but there's something interesting about cuckold wives - I think the power that the female holds over a man. The tables are turned, and he is the sex object rather than the woman, which is often the norm in porn. Cuckolding is kind of like 'shepimping"- she may be the ho, but she's the pimp too. Even though she's having sex with all of these guys, she's not the one being degraded by it. It's such a flip of the script from most porn. Maybe that's why so many people hate it so much.

I can't speak as to why people hate it so much, but you've hit an interesting point.

As an author, I'm interested in exploring the dynamic of when the wife of a cuckold decides she loves her lover more than her husband, and she no longer cares about her relationship with her husband. At that point, she has a lot of power to determine the direction of the relationship with her husband.

If the husband is determined to maintain the relationship with his wife, no matter how she treats him, then he becomes her slave. How much degradation and humiliation he endures is totally up to her.

As a human, I would hate to see someone in a relationship this unbalanced. But there are women and men that enjoy this sort of unbalanced relationship.

These aren’t my stories, but take a look at the Denial Stories by Conquered to see what can happen if a wife takes cuckolding to an extreme.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I can't speak as to why people hate it so much, but you've hit an interesting point.

As an author, I'm interested in exploring the dynamic of when the wife of a cuckold decides she loves her lover more than her husband, and she no longer cares about her relationship with her husband. At that point, she has a lot of power to determine the direction of the relationship with her husband.

If the husband is determined to maintain the relationship with his wife, no matter how she treats him, then he becomes her slave. How much degradation and humiliation he endures is totally up to her.

As a human, I would hate to see someone in a relationship this unbalanced. But there are women and men that enjoy this sort of unbalanced relationship.

I think in essence this issue can become a problem in most relationships where others are included in a sexual and/or emotional sense, but usually is more a symptom of thinking the grass may be greener on the other side, or losing focus for whatever reason, than those who delve into the perverse simply because they are exploring and enjoying the freedom of having a stable relationship with another who shares the same tastes. Think I have mentioned it somewhere once before, but usually in these type relationships where things such as cuckolding or sharing take place, it is because it is the desire of both partners to experience it at whatever level, for the enjoyment of both...some people get off on being abused and humiliated. Unfortunately what many who stray more permanently, as in leaving one partner for another realise too late is that those they play with, while willing to participate in the role they have, are not about to be placed in the position on the former partner....thus usually becomes a relationship full of frustration, disappointment, and much restricted play and relationship to the former, and ultimately loss of the new relationship.

Catalina

 

[Prof Bill]

Again, thanks, and now I think we can let it go

Let me thank again all those who responded/commented on this kink. I knew very little about it when I posted. Last Thursday, at a munch, the couple returned and I got to talk with her (she's the Domme in the couple--no surprise) about it. She said she thought they were beginning to have problems with jealousy and that if her husband ever did become jealous, she would stop it. She has two or three men who she has "favored" because she likes them and is attracted to them. She also said she loved the attention she received and that it would be sad if she had to give it up. Still, she said, she'd give it up willingly if that was the price for keeping her marriage.

Unless someone has some other observations to make, I think we might let this thread die a natural death.

Thanks again.

Prof Bill

 

[bytor2112]

cuckhold = man who is so fucked up in the head that he lets himself be degraded as a sub human

 

[oOScarletWingsOo]

I stumbled upon this thread and remembered seeing this explaination in Wikipedia... for those who need another definition.

The term has made a resurgence in the late 20th century amongst couples with a dominant female allowed to take on additional partners, and a submissive male is either monogamous to her or denied sex altogether, aside from performing oral sex. Some dominant women have their male partner watch them have sex with others, but the more common practice is for the domme to go out on dates, while her sub or slave stays at home. Some dominants have their sub or slave perform oral sex on them after they have had sex with another man. In some cases, the dominant woman's sex partner may be submissive to her, while other times, she simply engages in vanilla sex with him.

Most female-dominant couples who practice cuckolding tend to be in their thirties or older. It is common for the dominant woman to take on younger men when cuckolding her primary partner. In these cases, the younger partner is a mere "boytoy," and there is no possibility of a serious relationship developing.

Cuckolding among female-dominant couples differs from the original definition of cuckolding in that many of these men are voluntarily "cuckolded" by their wives, as part of the husband's sexual fantasy of gaining sexual pleasure from being humiliated by his wife—indeed, the husband may even be the instigator of this practice, raising questions about who is truly the dominant and who the truly submissive partner. This is a common theme in letters to pornographic magazines. It is unclear how common this phenomenon is in real life as opposed to fantasy. In the fantasy realm, the wife of a cuckold is sometimes referred to as a hotwife. In a broader context, the contrast between a cuckold and bull is sometimes used to summarize an individual's personality or behavior; the bull representing an agressive alpha male and the cuckold suggesting weakness, fear and vulnerability.

 

[sweetnpetite]

quote:
"In a broader context, the contrast between a cuckold and bull is sometimes used to summarize an individual's personality or behavior; the bull representing an agressive alpha male and the cuckold suggesting weakness, fear and vulnerability."

weakness, fear, and vulnerablity- yet another reason why this activity provokes such strong reactions. Definatly not traits that are valued as manly in our society.

I am interested in the above statement though, for it's contrast. I just want to roll it around in my head for a while. I'm sure that I can use that concept to build a good story. Contrast can be a very important element in fiction, and one that I've been learning to incorporate more, recently.

 

[pantyslutx69]

i find cuckoldism very arousing, but i can certainly see where it can go wrong

 

[roomfor1more]

IME, basically it centers very much around humiliation. We have been approached by a couple of people who were interested in us helping them out with their pursuit of the practice, but so far have not found everything else fit well enough with us to include it in our play with others of that persuasion. I think for those who are heavily into it, there is much which can be done to add variety to the situation and scenes. We may end up playing with it in the future, but only if it also fulfils other needs we have in D/s situation, and certainly not from the POV of F being cuckolded but rather the other males involved.

Catalina

I do agree that cuckolding for the most part involves humiliation and I feel it is probably the biggest part of how cuckolding occurs. To be clear I do not see cuckolding as an affair provided that it is done with their partner's knowledge and consent. Nonetheless from my experience I do believe there is another variation of cuckolding, which is best described as a vicarious voyeur. By this I mean the reason for cuckolding is not to humiliate. Instead the purpose is to have the experience in which it is relived through telling about the experience and when the partner returns from the experience. This type of experience may be a one-off or something that is done as a part of an open relationship. It differs from a cuckolding that is done for humiliation because the couple's relationship remains the primary relationship and the couple's relationship takes priority over involving the other person. In either situation it is important that boundaries are established and the relationships are properly managed in order to prevent relationship issues.

 

[roomfor1more]

I think in essence this issue can become a problem in most relationships where others are included in a sexual and/or emotional sense, but usually is more a symptom of thinking the grass may be greener on the other side, or losing focus for whatever reason, than those who delve into the perverse simply because they are exploring and enjoying the freedom of having a stable relationship with another who shares the same tastes. Think I have mentioned it somewhere once before, but usually in these type relationships where things such as cuckolding or sharing take place, it is because it is the desire of both partners to experience it at whatever level, for the enjoyment of both...some people get off on being abused and humiliated. Unfortunately what many who stray more permanently, as in leaving one partner for another realise too late is that those they play with, while willing to participate in the role they have, are not about to be placed in the position on the former partner....thus usually becomes a relationship full of frustration, disappointment, and much restricted play and relationship to the former, and ultimately loss of the new relationship.

Catalina

My feeling, cuckolding can provide a "rush" for a couple and can be liberating in the sense that the norms society placed on couples about monogamy are shed. Nonetheless at least from my experience I feel cuckolding is riskier to the relationship than having a threesome due to the fact it does not directly involve both partners. Granted the idea needs to be agreed but the act itself only involves one of them. I feel without having both members of the couple present it makes it easier to breach the agreed boundary, make it more difficult to manage the situation, and it makes it easier for feelings to develop.

Since cuckolding presents a unique structure, similar to an open relationship but with boundaries issues, communication becomes a core requirement to make it work. With that said, the problem lies, I feel, in the thrill that it can provide and that thrill, I feel, can impede judgement. This means any decision made by a couple may be clouded by the feelings a cuckold can create and the couple needs to try agree, I feel, that maintaining the relationship remains paramount. Without agreeing the protecting the relationship is paramount then opens up the relationship to gradually ending.

 

[thkdck4u]

I've never done it, but I spoke to a very hot mid 20s woman who had with her husband. She said the guys are usually "bull" types with big cocks. They have varying degrees of dominance. Some humiliate the husband verbally telling him he has a small cock or can't satisfy a her, some don't. Mostly for her, she just loved being fucked by a dominant guy with a big cock and having her husband watch. Humiliation wasn't the real point.

She did say that all of them came inside of her. That might be a running theme with the whole cuckold thing. Kind of like the "bull" is marking his territory by cumin inside of her. Maybe not, but she said they all did. And none of them used condoms.