Have you ever come across a story with very good prose?

[TheNovelist2000]

I’ve been reading erotica for more than a decade, and if you asked me which ones stood out in terms of content, I could easily give you a list. But despite all those years of reading, I’ve hardly come across a story that made me pause and think, “Oh! What a lovely prose.” Maybe I’ve just been reading the wrong ones, or maybe it’s simply the nature of erotica that good prose isn’t often required. In any case, please share in this thread the stories you think have exceptional prose — and, if possible, include a quote from them. Also, share some quotes from your own stories that you think are written well. I would share some of my own here as well.

1. Nikki's First Bull (Second Part)- Yet to be published.

I took Paul’s seat, and we flirted a little, and before we knew it, we were already in the backroom, my hands on her waist, her body pressed against the shelves. We kissed passionately, and even with just the kiss, I felt cathartic. It felt like stretching your legs after a long day of sitting cross-legged on the floor, and it was then I realised the deep ache of desire I had for her.

2. Nikki's First Bull (The First Part)

It was a boyfriend's nightmare: watching the love of his life being fingered in a café in broad daylight, while she did nothing to stop it. Any man with self-respect and dignity would have stormed the table and slapped the guy in the face. But as he had been learning more and more about himself lately, Paul realised he wasn't that man.

3. Two Beauties and the Beast (Still pending)

“Come closer,” I said, adjusting myself as best I could with my wrists still bound to the headboard. The sheets were damp beneath me, my skin sticky with sweat, and the fading heat of what Jason and I had just done still lingered between my legs. I wanted to spare her the pain of witnessing our betrayal, but exhaustion kept my thighs parted.

4. Please Don't Harm My Sister

Quote 1: No matter how perverse and twisted, a relationship existed between us, and my role in it and his perception of me changed constantly. At first, I was an adversary to be defeated, someone who unsettled him. Then, my complete lack of venom and strength reduced me to a victim he exploited for his pleasure. Now, I was slowly becoming something he was most uncomfortable with: an asset to be obsessed over, fretted about, and held onto at any cost.

Quote 2: I found out that underwater was a good place to think about oneself. The silence pressed in gently, like a blanket, muting the noise of the world above. Many thoughts rushed to my head.

What am I becoming? A victim? Just a boy he toys with? Or something else--something softer, more obedient?

 

[YmaOHyd]

But despite all those years of reading, I’ve hardly come across a story that made me pause and think, “Oh! What a lovely prose.”

I pretty much think that every time I read something by onehitwanda.

 

[TheNovelist2000]

I pretty much think that every time I read something by onehitwanda.

TQ---I will check them out.

 

[kreemi_pi]

Yes but i wiped off the screen afterward

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

I pretty much think that every time I read something by onehitwanda.

Agreed. To my taste, @onehitwanda is absolutely the finest wordsmith among us.

 

[THBGato]

RobinWatergrove and redgarters.

 

[Soixenta]

maybe it’s simply the nature of erotica that good prose isn’t often required

Good prose is not required for any writing. But it makes the experience more enjoyable for the reader.

From my own stories, I am particularly pleased with this bit, from Dead Together. It is a horror story, but a significant part of it deals with eating a sandwich:


The second bite was better than the first. Jenny took her time, trying to recognise the flavours, the textures. There was a hint of cigarette smoke on the wrapper, but in her mouth she definitely recognised bacon and sage. A thick cream cheese, and cucumber. And the meat was turkey breast, or perhaps chicken.

We’re both dead. We’re dead together.

It was a faint whisper inside her head. She ignored it. She had a sandwich, a fresh sandwich that was all hers, and everything else could fuck off for now.

 

[ElectricBlue]

If I go by these comments (some of which I'll accept as hyperbole), I can turn a phrase or two:

Brilliant!
by Anonymous user on 03/25/2017
That was simply the best piece of fiction I have ever read on Literotica.

True poetry true originality
by doobius on 12/04/2018
A true master story teller and such delightful prose. It's works such as this which makes this website so great. Such contrast with going to the bookshop and finding so many books which are just poor copies of other books with no originality.

Poetry
by Anonymous user on 03/09/2020
Sublime writing, scarcely matched in this venue. This is a fantasy that many of us have had, meeting someone and coming together in a magical way, with no friction or hitches in the flow.
This could be in a magazine, it's that good. Do you write professionally? If not, maybe you should try. If you do, thanks for this gift!

Gorgeous
by Anonymous user on 03/11/2016
I am a wheelchair user. You have a great sense of what it means. She is beautifully seen, strong and vulnerable. I have never thought to include my disability in my writing, but you inspire to. I will write and post. Thank you.

by AMoveableBeast on 03/18/2016
Terrifically original. Unexpected. Well-written and skillfully handled.
I was having a bad night on the site. It can frustrate me at times. It can be ugly and petty and small.
Thank you for reminding me that it can be so much more. You made my night, and a new fan.

 

[TheNovelist2000]

She ignored it. She had a sandwich, a fresh sandwich that was all hers, and everything else could fuck off for now.

This is very cool!

 

[TheNovelist2000]

If I go by these comments (some of which I'll accept as hyperbole), I can turn a phrase or two:

The best I got was this. 'Your story is steamy and even fun to read.' And I think about this comment all the time.

 

[Off_base]

Onehitwanda, THBGato, beneathherbraid, all have it in their own ways.

 

[StillStunned]

"How's your sister, Freddie?" Beth, cute thing, smart too, too smart for a life hustlin' for bux and bits in the City's underpasses, been to school and got herself some proper learnin', got her implants done by a licensed worker, not in the back parlour of a tattoo shop, been back now a few months, smiled at you and went on a date, been wantin' to ask her again but you ain't seen her, Freddie's too protective of her, c'mon man she's a smart girl, can make her own bad decisions, but Freddie's not lookin' happy now, lookin' over his shoulder, looks like guilt, looks bad.

"Beth's gone missin'."

"The fuck, Freddie, how'd you let that happen?" He's got muscleboys, you can see two of them lingerin' in the underpass, he's got connections, in the City and in the Night, he ain't no star jacker but Freddie knows people, he ain't no regular pedlar or common alley rat, but now he sure is lookin' like one, all shifty an' loser-like.

"Went runnin' with a bad crowd. Maximum Lawmen, maybe, the Poets. Got herself in a shitload of shit, not seen her now for three nights." He clears his throat, looks shifty. "Listen man, I gotta ask... You know I never interfere, what you do with the time you buy is your business, what you do in the Night, none of mine, I just sell the timebanks and you do the rest, but you're him, I know you are, you're the Magic Rat?"

Fuck, that's a name you ain't heard for a while, not since it all went fuck-a-doodle-doo...

 

[Actingup]

Onehitwanda, THBGato, beneathherbraid, all have it in their own ways.

Yes, but girl germs!! Those three are all wonderful to read.

I really enjoy Publius68, because his style and humour are written so beautifully. I know there are many others.

 

[TheNovelist2000]

"How's your sister, Freddie?" Beth, cute thing, smart too, too smart for a life hustlin' for bux and bits in the City's underpasses, been to school and got herself some proper learnin', got her implants done by a licensed worker, not in the back parlour of a tattoo shop, been back now a few months, smiled at you and went on a date, been wantin' to ask her again but you ain't seen her, Freddie's too protective of her, c'mon man she's a smart girl, can make her own bad decisions, but Freddie's not lookin' happy now, lookin' over his shoulder, looks like guilt, looks bad.

"Beth's gone missin'."

"The fuck, Freddie, how'd you let that happen?" He's got muscleboys, you can see two of them lingerin' in the underpass, he's got connections, in the City and in the Night, he ain't no star jacker but Freddie knows people, he ain't no regular pedlar or common alley rat, but now he sure is lookin' like one, all shifty an' loser-like.

"Went runnin' with a bad crowd. Maximum Lawmen, maybe, the Poets. Got herself in a shitload of shit, not seen her now for three nights." He clears his throat, looks shifty. "Listen man, I gotta ask... You know I never interfere, what you do with the time you buy is your business, what you do in the Night, none of mine, I just sell the timebanks and you do the rest, but you're him, I know you are, you're the Magic Rat?"

Fuck, that's a name you ain't heard for a while, not since it all went fuck-a-doodle-doo...

https://media.tenor.com/GxA2qm-qmlkAAAAM/meme-american-psycho.gif

 

[iwatchus]

I have talked about most of these at one time or another. As mentioned multiple times already @onehitwanda has the most wonderful flowing prose for a story. I have not found anyone consistently better. @StillStunned writes the best vignettes. I especially recommend Pas de Trois. @ElectricBlue has moments of beautiful prose. @Soixenta has not had time to build a large catalogue yet, but she is certainly a young phenomenon at this point (no idea of her actual age, just young as far as publishing here).

I'm sure I'm forgetting authors I should include, and others, who I suspect I would include, I have not found the time the read yet (@redgarters is high on my list of writers I am looking forward to reading.)

 

[MelissaBaby]

@StillStunned said in Emily's thread:

I did some editing for one of Lit's more popular authors, and my takeaway was that they don't care about writing. They have an idea, they churn it out and bask in the adoration of their fans.

I think that is generally true of a broad swath of Lit authors. They write to present their idea or vicariously experience their fantasy, and aren't really concerned about quality.

I put a lot of effort into my writing. I'll let my 78 red H's and 6 blue W's speak for me.

 

[SimonDoom]

I agree about some of the names that have been mentioned as having a nice sense of prose. I'd also mention Amory Parks and Vix Giovanni, although they haven't published anything recently.

For me, good prose doesn't necessarily have to stand out as poetic or pretty, although it can be enjoyable when it is. I also appreciate prose that is good enough and sound enough that it doesn't get in the way of the story. I enjoyed Al Steiner's writing style, which was fairly simple and clean, although, again, he hasn't published anything here in a long time.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

The snippets in the opening post look very similar to much of what I used to do.

I never gave it much thought.

 

[Erozetta]

This is one of the few times I'll name some names (and try not to repeat any already mentioned)

Altissimus - If you can find his work elsewhere (he took all of his work down and stopped writing for here about two years ago, after his Halloween win resulted in his entire catalog being bombed afterwards and a request for vote review was denied.) it is well worth a read.

Some other superb writers with absolutely stunning prose, in my experience:

Rambling_Chantrix

WhiteTailDarkTip

Kathryn Locksley

JuanaSalsa

Ironiclaconic

BenLong

Sighonsocial

SeraphNocturne

Bramblethorn

DraegonDaddy

HannahBaird

Stickygirl

 

[crookedletter]

I flatter myself that I've written a couple. I've tried, anyway, and some commenters suggest I've succeeded.

I don't read enough on here to have a list of examples, though I always intend to. This thread serves as a decent start for a reading list.

 

[AG31]

I love this kind of discussion. I'd like to contribute snippets, but it would take some research into my "favorite's" list. Maybe I'll take the time...

This was my first thought. Is "good prose" the same thing as "effective erotica?" Probably not. For several years I've advocated for the concept of "simple erotica" as an alternative to "stroker." That is, a story about sex which does not pay much attention to character or plot, but which does "help the reader understand what the characters are sensing." @HordHolm (The sensations do not have to be explicit sex).

So if I were to provide quotes, I'd have to use those categories. One I don't have to research is the Melissa in the Hardware store series by @ElectricBlue. The reader's understanding of the narrator's sensations couldn't be more vivid. I'd have to look again to see if the prose, in and of itself, was noteworthy. Sometimes, I suspect, noteworthy prose can get in the way of good erotica.

 

[AG31]

One aspect of good writing can be, I think, whether there is a discernable author's voice. This isn't a requirement for good writing, and I don't know if it is an aspect of good prose. That's for another discussion.

I don't read much of the writing on Literotica, but of the authors I have read, I can remember thinking that two had nice author's voices, @ElectricBlue and @StillStunned.

I got to thinking about this lately because of two mainstream authors I'd read, Margaret Maron (the Deborah Knott series) and Ann Cleeves (the Vera stories). Excellent examples of vivid authorial voices.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Rather than repeat an author already mentioned, I’ll suggest Masterpiece by @Voboy as, well, a masterpiece. His economical and beautifully selected prose captures the thrill of slowly ratcheting female arousal perfectly and excruciatingly. I was gasping along with the narrator by the end. Conclusive proof that some men can write a woman’s point of view beautifully.

 

[XerXesXu]

I agree about some of the names that have been mentioned as having a nice sense of prose. I'd also mention Amory Parks and Vix Giovanni, although they haven't published anything recently.

Vix Giovanni seconded.

 

[nice90sguy]

Some of the quotes in this thread are great -- sharp and pithy, some them are even frisson-inducing. BUT -- I actually get distracted from the narrative by well-turned prose. The minute I become conscious that I'm reading words, my brain takes over from my gonads, and the eroticism suffers.

I've always preferred "trashy" writing -- comics, the bulk of sci-fi, the Playboy fiction. I read the Olympia Reader as an early teenager, which included excepts from William Burroughs, Henry Miller, Nabokov, Marquis De Sade, and many others. At the same time, I had the semi-pornographic collection of the original Mad comics from the early 1950's (my Avatar is a tribute to Wally Wood, one of its three core artists ), and the fiction in my brother's Playboy and Penthouse collection. That stuff aroused me far more than anything I read in that anthology.

When I tried to write a story written from the point of view of a person whose English was simple, because it was not her first language, it helped me concentrate less on the words, and more on the story and events, and it came out well (and was well-received).