Looking for Constructive Criticism

[JTass]

I just had my second story published, and I'm looking for constructive criticism beyond the bits and bobs posted in the comments.

If you have some time, give it a read, and tell me what you think:

ClickBait

(I'm looking for more than whether you did or didn't like the story - tell me what you liked/disliked and why)

 

[WCSGarland]

Okay, I'll bite. First of all, it seemed to rely on info dump type of world building, no real character composition and exposition. While it was an interesting take on a BTB story, I'm sure it appealed to any BTB afficionado with the visceral reaction of the possibility of killing off the adulteress' lover, there's not enough there to develop a connection to the MC and sympathize with him. There's not enough there to have any sort of emotional affinity to the actions in the story. The convenience of the law artifact, i.e. dueling still being allowed in Cook Islands... you didn't even reveal the discovery of that and the subsequent plan by the MC in using that little known legality for his revenge. Granted, that might have been your intention in order to toss in a twist ending, but it seemed a bit too contrived.

 

[JTass]

Okay, I'll bite. First of all, it seemed to rely on info dump type of world building, no real character composition and exposition. While it was an interesting take on a BTB story, I'm sure it appealed to any BTB afficionado with the visceral reaction of the possibility of killing off the adulteress' lover, there's not enough there to develop a connection to the MC and sympathize with him. There's not enough there to have any sort of emotional affinity to the actions in the story. The convenience of the law artifact, i.e. dueling still being allowed in Cook Islands... you didn't even reveal the discovery of that and the subsequent plan by the MC in using that little known legality for his revenge. Granted, that might have been your intention in order to toss in a twist ending, but it seemed a bit too contrived.

Thanks for the feedback. I'll give some thought to the points you made.

And yes, I intentionally didn't reveal the details about the MC's plan with the intent of it being a twist ending, or at least intending the sudden reveal at the end to increase its impact.

 

[Gamblnluck]

We know the MC felt he was getting the short end of the stick. He obviously got rid of everything he owned, so why did he divorce his wife in California? Why not wait until he had assumed citizenship in his new country? As for Drew, a duel is willing contest between. The challenge is no good if Drew says no. In that case it is murder if the MC shoots him.
You have a decent basic plot but it needed more development in my opinion.