The Art of Getting Lit Laid

[Mrtenant]

A pedi is not just for the ladies anymore!
Now where is my foot sander thingy

If you think about it, I mean, both men and women right? I have been a believer of that for a long time. My toes look good enough to suckle, lick, or masturbate with. Please, don't impale your ass with them though. Its a lot of work to get them this good.

Say you wanna have sex. How ready are you really? Got your nails trimmed, bush under control, nice breath, no scary looking sores, feet are good, underwear is clean and presentable?

Or just raw dog like a couple farm animals?

 

[Carmina24]

A pedi is not just for the ladies anymore!
Now where is my foot sander thingy

Uhm, weren't you asking earlier if sandals were okay? Then socks with sandals?

 

[Hornymwtxn]

Uhm, weren't you asking earlier if sandals were okay? Then socks with sandals?

Just tryin' to put my best foot forward.
I think it's my left one

 

[Carmina24]

Just tryin' to put my best foot forward.
I think it's my left one

Well start with removing those darn socks! Lol

 

[jacfox]

I would add the following -

ENJOY the process.

Again, only speaking for myself here - enjoy the moments you share with someone new. Enjoy the bumps and swerves that serve as the road of each encounter. And remember, no one owes you anything. We might reach #3 and realize the chemistry, while fun, just isn't going to lead to anything further.

Personally, I would rather find out I don't share that chemistry but build a new friendship, than just ending all contact. Still, I know not everyone here is looking for the same thing. Again, that's why I emphasize ENJOYING the process.

I found friendship with a collaborative partner on Lit, one I value so much more than our erotic online fun--great though that is! It's a true intergenerational friendship, one that I've certainly learned a lot from, and, I hope, she has too. I'd say to anyone of any age, be open to new contacts and adventures, remain open all your life to the possibilities that exist in our wonderful, crazy world of infinite connections...

 

[masterslave00]

1. Use a bag if (s)he's ugly, or a pillow. Smothering them might be the best solution after all.

Use newspaper, magazine or whatever you fancy to read - you can have both education and sex

 

[Ratchetman1982]

Adding to @Mrtenant 's list:

The 10 Commandments of Unspoken Sex Rules

1. Thou shalt not wear socks. Unless they’re fishnets. Or thigh-highs. Or part of a costume. Regular gym socks = instant mood killer.

2. Thou shalt not narrate like a sports commentator. (“He shoots—he scores!”) No play-by-play in the bedroom.

3. Thou shalt not stop mid-stroke to check the group chat. The memes can wait.

4. Thou shalt not make sound effects. She is not a racecar, and your penis is not a lightsaber.

5. Thou shalt not treat genitals like musical instruments. No humming, no beatboxing, no experimental jazz solos.

6. Thou shalt not high-five after orgasm. Unless it’s your wedding night, in which case, congratulations.

7. Thou shalt not start a TED Talk during foreplay. We don’t need a lecture on the history of lube.

8. Thou shalt not bring snacks to bed mid-thrust. Crumbs in the sheets = instant celibacy.

9. Thou shalt not use food metaphors unless there is actual food. “You’re my little muffin” is cute in the kitchen, not in doggy style.

10. Thou shalt not declare, “Oops, wrong hole” like it’s a casual Tuesday mistake. That’s not casual. That’s an emergency summit.

Ummm, I'm all for high-fiving after an orgasm

 

[masterslave00]

Use newspaper, magazine or whatever you fancy to read - you can have both education and sex

I'm originally from beer drinking country - we used to say that ugly girls should have square heads so we could stand a glass of beer on it while having sex...

 

[Carmina24]

I'm originally from beer drinking country - we used to say that ugly girls should have square heads so we could stand a glass of beer on it while having sex...

*Looking in mirror and convincing self that my head is NOT square*

 

[Carmina24]

Adding to @Mrtenant 's list:

The 10 Commandments of Unspoken Sex Rules

1. Thou shalt not wear socks. Unless they’re fishnets. Or thigh-highs. Or part of a costume. Regular gym socks = instant mood killer.

2. Thou shalt not narrate like a sports commentator. (“He shoots—he scores!”) No play-by-play in the bedroom.

3. Thou shalt not stop mid-stroke to check the group chat. The memes can wait.

4. Thou shalt not make sound effects. She is not a racecar, and your penis is not a lightsaber.

5. Thou shalt not treat genitals like musical instruments. No humming, no beatboxing, no experimental jazz solos.

6. Thou shalt not high-five after orgasm. Unless it’s your wedding night, in which case, congratulations.

7. Thou shalt not start a TED Talk during foreplay. We don’t need a lecture on the history of lube.

8. Thou shalt not bring snacks to bed mid-thrust. Crumbs in the sheets = instant celibacy.

9. Thou shalt not use food metaphors unless there is actual food. “You’re my little muffin” is cute in the kitchen, not in doggy style.

10. Thou shalt not declare, “Oops, wrong hole” like it’s a casual Tuesday mistake. That’s not casual. That’s an emergency summit.

As for No. 10.....how??

 

[Carmina24]

*Looking in mirror and convincing self that my head is NOT square*

@Hornymwtxn and @Ratchetman1982
*Hands on hips*
I see you both laughing but neither one is saying "No, your head isn't square"

 

[Ratchetman1982]

It's definitely not square

 

[Carmina24]

It's definitely not square

Finally...thank you @Ratchetman1982

 

[Hornymwtxn]

@Hornymwtxn and @Ratchetman1982
*Hands on hips*
I see you both laughing but neither one is saying "No, your head isn't square"

It's perfectly balanced with flawless skin.

Am I back in good graces?

 

[Carmina24]

It's perfectly balanced with flawless skin.

Am I back in good graces?

Hold on...A square is balanced too, isn't it?

 

[Hornymwtxn]

Hold on...A square is balanced too, isn't it?

I was afraid you may pick up on that.

I almost went with proportioned and that didn't sound any better.

Words are tough!

 

[masterslave00]

*Looking in mirror and convincing self that my head is NOT square*

OMG, I said ugly girls, @Carmina24. You are gorgeous and you know that...

 

[Carmina24]

OMG, I said ugly girls, @Carmina24. You are gorgeous and you know that...

Thank you, @masterslave00
*Glaring at @Hornymwtxn *

 

[Carmina24]

I was afraid you may pick up on that.

I almost went with proportioned and that didn't sound any better.

Words are tough!

You are in trouble, mister...

 

[Hornymwtxn]

You are in trouble, mister...

It's what I do.

 

[Hornymwtxn]

Matchmaking Corner – Whispered Introduction

She is not gentle by design.
Her words bite, her laughter burns, and she never shrinks to fit the room. She is wildness in motion, ferocity cloaked in fire.

She does not seek someone to tame her - nor anyone who must match her blaze. What she longs for is a man who understands that fire is not for extinguishing, but for wielding. One who will let her rage, create, dance, and unravel, without mistaking her chaos for peril.

She is searching for refuge, not rivalry. For a place to rest when the storm stills, where her wild edges are not only tolerated but treasured.

And know this: she believes a man’s mind is the sexiest thing of all. To undress the body is easy - but to undress the mind, to slip past defenses with wit and curiosity, is the truest seduction.

If you can meet her mind with your own, if you can stand in her fire without flinching, then perhaps you are worthy of the name that follows.

Her name is not a secret.
It is a challenge.
It is @Carmina24

Her words can leave a person stunned, to say the least

Beautiful prose that let's you know how deep her waters run

clean, clear and unpolluted by all the things wrong with the current world

Graceful, elegant, a delight to converse with as your mind loses track of time in anticipation of her next message.

She will assault your brain in dopamine
She is @Carmina24
and very beautiful

 

[VamPal1]

Be honest. Like if you're into coercing women to do what you want, admit it. If you're into playing with your cock for a Lit woman while your wife is in the same room with you, admit it. If you're into making a straight woman seduce another woman, admit it you mofo Lit sex king.

 

[Pad_Foot]

Wait!
Carmina!!
From the side….
Lift your hair up??

Ummm.!

 

[Carmina24]

Wait!
Carmina!!
From the side….
Lift your hair up??

Ummm.!

Square??

 

[Pad_Foot]

Square??

All those guys in “The Battle” said it!

I was just confirming they are mean
You should punish them!