The 50 Plus Cafe, Pub, All-Nite Greasy Spoon and Dive Bar

[nipplecaresser]

I kinda made a special friend on Lit. She's the most fun person I've spoken to/met (even if online) in a long while. She's honestly ever so lovely.

she even said she'd like for us to get together. It felt special, not sleazy or nasty.

we had a pretty deep chat the other night and I shared a ton of stuff about me that she was super nice about. It made me very happy. She isn't evne a million miles away from me and I asked her about meeting IRL and she seemed up for it (obviously there are safety issues to consider).

So why the hell am I so scared she won't want to actually go trhough with it? I feel that, after waht I told her, and her being so sensitive and expressing an interest that it was almost a fait accompli. But i feel that, if she does change her mind, or if i've grossly misunderstood, it would break my heart.

I would respect any decision she makes and I hope I'm just getting my knickers in a knot for no reason. There's no real answer to this ofc. Whatever happens is whatever happens....

My standpoint on this is of someone who has never DM'd anyone on Lit or had any online relationship experience.

In many respects, however, this IS an online dating issue, albeit from a niche origin. You have hopes/expectations as to the outcome of any potential meet and you do not know if they will match hers or whether she will even turn up. She might. She may not. If she does, any outcome is possible, though the law of averages would suggest managing your expectations effectively.

The romantic in me would say you should take a chance because you will regret not doing so. The cynic in me would suggest that real life and Lit life are so far apart that the chances of anything meaningful happening are slim.

But, what the hell do I know? In the end, as you are aware, only you can know what you really want to do. If you do go for it, just keep those hopes in check and don't look beyond the first meeting.

Good luck!

 

[nipplecaresser]

Good morning Sunday suppers. Have a calm and restful day. Wake up with my first crush

 

[Noor]

I kinda made a special friend on Lit. She's the most fun person I've spoken to/met (even if online) in a long while. She's honestly ever so lovely.

she even said she'd like for us to get together. It felt special, not sleazy or nasty.

we had a pretty deep chat the other night and I shared a ton of stuff about me that she was super nice about. It made me very happy. She isn't evne a million miles away from me and I asked her about meeting IRL and she seemed up for it (obviously there are safety issues to consider).

So why the hell am I so scared she won't want to actually go trhough with it? I feel that, after waht I told her, and her being so sensitive and expressing an interest that it was almost a fait accompli. But i feel that, if she does change her mind, or if i've grossly misunderstood, it would break my heart.

I would respect any decision she makes and I hope I'm just getting my knickers in a knot for no reason. There's no real answer to this ofc. Whatever happens is whatever happens....

It sounds hopeful.
Some advice
Be prepared to accept the worse, and it’s okay, you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
Make sure you voice talk with her first, and find out who she really is.
There are players and fakes here like anywhere else, be careful. Even men pretending to be women, and women who are not free to be in relationships.
Make sure not to tell her more than she’s telling you.
Do not help with money, gifts, etc…
If she’s real, which I hope she is, there will be time later.
All that said there are a lot of real people and real relationships including marriages have happened.
Good luck!’

 

[dkak001]

Well shit. Old dog wanted out, and woke me up. Been staring at the ceiling for an hour and a half.

I'll start prepping for the 3am meetup early, I guess...

 

[Quimpossibility]

My standpoint on this is of someone who has never DM'd anyone on Lit or had any online relationship experience.

In many respects, however, this IS an online dating issue, albeit from a niche origin. You have hopes/expectations as to the outcome of any potential meet and you do not know if they will match hers or whether she will even turn up. She might. She may not. If she does, any outcome is possible, though the law of averages would suggest managing your expectations effectively.

Quite. A difficult skill to master when sometimes the heart rules the head

The romantic in me would say you should take a chance because you will regret not doing so. The cynic in me would suggest that real life and Lit life are so far apart that the chances of anything meaningful happening are slim.

That is probably true of any online interaction really, even dating apps. I tried OKcupid but got no responses and honestly i find it a bit uncomfortable. To me it feels competitive and performative: you have to compete with other people for the swipes/clicks and you have to perform. Whereas in a chat you kinda don't. But then, two people chatting isn't fully representative of real life either. Maybe not even a little bit.

But, what the hell do I know? In the end, as you are aware, only you can know what you really want to do. If you do go for it, just keep those hopes in check and don't look beyond the first meeting.

Good luck!

Thank you

 

[Quimpossibility]

It sounds hopeful.
Some advice
Be prepared to accept the worse, and it’s okay, you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
Make sure you voice talk with her first, and find out who she really is.

I have suggested moving off Lit because the chat architecture is godawful. She doesn't like it because other people behave like assholes. But we haven't finished that conversation and I dont think we're at the swapping phone numbers stage yet

There are players and fakes here like anywhere else, be careful. Even men pretending to be women, and women who are not free to be in relationships.

I know. That's always in the back of my mind.

Make sure not to tell her more than she’s telling you.
Do not help with money, gifts, etc…

Of course

If she’s real, which I hope she is, there will be time later.
All that said there are a lot of real people and real relationships including marriages have happened.
Good luck!’

Most of the relationships of others I've known have formed online. Perhaps it's become the norm these days

 

[questquilya]

I was looking at my neighbor's yard today. I have lawn envy...

For a while, I followed a guy on youtube who was teaching how to overcome it by making your lawn nicer with little effort. It did work!

 

[Sprocketman74]

I think there are so many that would like authentic, honest online connections, but it's tough. Speaking personally, I get turned on sometimes and sink into perversion, whereas I would not do that with someone I was looking at likely.

 

[Noor]

I have suggested moving off Lit because the chat architecture is godawful. She doesn't like it because other people behave like assholes. But we haven't finished that conversation and I dont think we're at the swapping phone numbers stage yet

I know. That's always in the back of my mind.

Of course

Most of the relationships of others I've known have formed online. Perhaps it's become the norm these days

This isn’t just online and yes I have formed relationships online, most of my recent ones. It’s here, where there are more players than say a music Interest group.

 

[Quimpossibility]

This isn’t just online and yes I have formed relationships online, most of my recent ones. It’s here, where there are more players than say a music Interest group.

That i don't doubt in the least. It's a sex chat/forum site. I mean, it goes with the territory. In fact whenever some young girl profile pops up with the "Daddy wanted for sex" type post my spider sense tingles like a motherfucker. Then all the old dudes, haha, jump in. It just feels iccky to me. No disrespect to old dudes I am one!

 

[Noor]

I think there are so many that would like authentic, honest online connections, but it's tough. Speaking personally, I get turned on sometimes and sink into perversion, whereas I would not do that with someone I was looking at likely.

I agree. I like cyber and phone sex, but I do not do that with those who I might wish consider offline. I guess I’d rather have the possibility of reality without prior fantasy. I’m not sure I’m explaining that correctly.
Not that I’d discount certain cyber partners.

 

[Noor]

And I always move off lit with anyone interesting.

 

[Quimpossibility]

I agree. I like cyber and phone sex, but I do not do that with those who I might wish consider offline. I guess I’d rather have the possibility of reality without prior fantasy. I’m not sure I’m explaining that correctly.
Not that I’d discount certain cyber partners.

I have done cybersex, I mean it's basically two people talking dirty to each other to masturbate to.

She and I have done that. OUr first chat ended taht way. It wasn't planned or expected. We were just goofing around and it just ended in sexy talk and felt a lot of fun, all things considered. She said she enjoyed it too and we chatted ever since, not always ending that way. Now talk has moved on to a somewhat deeper level.

I really don't know. I have allowed myself to be honest and vulnerable so hurt is a very likely outcome. That will only be mitigated through straight talking and honesty. She asked me some stuff about myself that, had I lied about, would have led to a somewhat different outcome and possibly relationship. I don't like lying. I am not comfortable with it, but somtimes it can be the more better option.

 

[Noor]

I have done cybersex, I mean it's basically two people talking dirty to each other to masturbate to.

She and I have done that. OUr first chat ended taht way. It wasn't planned or expected. We were just goofing around and it just ended in sexy talk and felt a lot of fun, all things considered. She said she enjoyed it too and we chatted ever since, not always ending that way. Now talk has moved on to a somewhat deeper level.

I really don't know. I have allowed myself to be honest and vulnerable so hurt is a very likely outcome. That will only be mitigated through straight talking and honesty. She asked me some stuff about myself that, had I lied about, would have led to a somewhat different outcome and possibly relationship. I don't like lying. I am not comfortable with it, but somtimes it can be the more better option.

Cyber sex can be much more that, several of my long term cybers have become rl friends but not lovers.
People can ask about whatever, you can answer without lying, but you don’t have to fully disclose.
I guess after 22 years here, I’m kind of jaded. There are lots of good people here, but there are also many messed up ones and down right bad ones, narcissists for instance, who can be whatever they believe you want.
It’s pretty disheartening when you realize the person you thought you knew isn’t real, is just a shell and nothing was ever real because there is nothing real about them. This is how narcissists survive, they constantly use people, it’s like they are fuel. This site attracts more than its far share.
They use sex and intimacy as a way to connect to their victims. They can be very good.
Then there are the players. I don’t really get why they do it.
Explore, find out more, but hold onto your self, your heart.

 

[Quimpossibility]

Cyber sex can be much more that, several of my long term cybers have become rl friends but not lovers.

Maybe. I can't speak to your experiences nor would i wish to. For me it's a little different for personal reasons and maybe because i haven't found the right cyberpartner. But I think I will always feel that i'd rather have the 'real' thing.

People can ask about whatever, you can answer without lying, but you don’t have to fully disclose.

Sure. That isn't always the case though. But we don't need to get into the specifics in this case.

I guess after 22 years here, I’m kind of jaded. There are lots of good people here, but there are also many messed up ones and down right bad ones, narcissists for instance, who can be whatever they believe you want.

Most of the ppl I've encounetered seem objectively nice people. The only really negative person was a lady in the UK Chat room who had a profile that said she liked roleplay but without roles (words to that effect). I asked her what she meant and she was just "are you stupid?"

Nah.

It’s pretty disheartening when you realize the person you thought you knew isn’t real, is just a shell and nothing was ever real because there is nothing real about them. This is how narcissists survive, they constantly use people, it’s like they are fuel. This site attracts more than its far share.
They use sex and intimacy as a way to connect to their victims. They can be very good.
Then there are the players. I don’t really get why they do it.
Explore, find out more, but hold onto your self, your heart.

Of course. I think it would be very easy to lose oneself on this site.

 

[B2fromA2looking4U]

Hmmm, that's a very interesting comment to me.

This site can be a lot of things. And it can be different things to different people. I see from your join date that you are new here.

There is something about the anonymity that allows people to open up in ways they probably would not in the real world. Likewise, it allows people to hide things from all of us here. That double edged sword can be troublesome, but it is also why I personally enjoy this place. It allows us to see sides of people we probably wouldn't see anywhere else. I have really enjoyed that aspect of this site.

I also have quite a few long running DM messages with people here, and I consider these people friends. We may never meet in real life, but they are people I have come to care about. Maybe they are who they present themselves as here, and maybe not. But, how is that really any different than acquaintances in real life?

My thoughts would be to enjoy this place for what it is. Hang around, get to know people, and let the newness of the place wear off. There are some amazing people here, and also some weirdos, and some complete assholes too.

As for meeting that person IRL, if it seems right, go for it. If not, don't worry about it. Either way, enjoy it for whatever it turns out to be.

I agree with your observation about this site as well as your advice. If things work out where you meet someone IRL and there is chemistry, then great. If not, even us “old fools” learn lessons. And it’s OK.

 

[subdudeme13]

Happy Sunday morning everyone. Hope all had a great start to the weekend. It was hot as blazes here yesterday, well maybe not that hot but hot. When I went outside the first thing I wasted to do was turn around and come back inside. The water temperature in the Gulf is 83F so it is warm enough for these old bones to jump into.

 

[B2fromA2looking4U]

just questioning whether it is the right place for me

If you are looking to date, there are other sites. This site is about erotic literature and much of it is fantasy.

 

[Oldermom935]

Morning everyone!

 

[Oldermom935]

 

[Oldermom935]

 

[Oldermom935]

 

[subdudeme13]

I agree with your observation about this site as well as your advice. If things work out where you meet someone IRL and there is chemistry, then great. If not, even us “old fools” learn lessons. And it’s OK.

There is no fool like an old fool! Or so I have heard.

 

[Oldermom935]

 

[Oldermom935]