The sad limitation of MILF and the evolution of words

[HordHolm]

I was musing, as I often do, whilst walking through my leafy suburb, and a memory flashed across my mind. A few years ago, soon after the birth of my daughter, I jokingly told my wife that I could now fuck a MILF. She, though fluent, is not a native speaker, and the acronym was not familiar to her. I laughed and told her to look it up online. Ten minutes later she walked up to me and smacked me quite hard on my upper arm in some irritation.

Of course, what I thought was a harmless joke was to her an insult, a suggestion that she was fifteen years older than her actual age. I explained that MILF is simply 'mother I'd like to fuck', but she wasn't having it - it meant 'woman pushing 50' to her. It was at that moment that I accepted that MILF had morphed into what we oldies (yep, I'm getting there now) used to call 'cougar', and looking around now I feel a little sorry to see that esteemed term fall into disuse.

There's no point to this. Merely musing.

 

[TheRedChamber]

We had this debate recently.

I maintain that to be a MILF the lady in question has to be the mother of someone in your friend group. And since you wouldn't be going around desiring for your friend's mum if you weren't of Lit Age you are at least 18, so if your friend and hence the object of your desire is at least 36.

What your wife would be, according to my taxonomy, is a 'Yummy Mummy' (I'm going to take the yumminess as a given, even though I don't know her)

 

[HordHolm]

We had this debate recently.

I maintain that to be a MILF the lady in question has to be the mother of someone in your friend group. And since you wouldn't be going around desiring for your friend's mum if you weren't of Lit Age you are at least 18, so if your friend and hence the object of your desire is at least 36.

What your wife would be, according to my taxonomy, is a 'Yummy Mummy' (I'm going to take the yumminess as a given, even though I don't know her)

Yep, yummy mummy would be more of a winner. Though I think most of the time she would prefer to separate the mummy-ness off from everything else.

I think with the MILF thing I was also dredging up the early interweb from the dusty backrooms of my memory - I'm sure there was more of a focus on mothers in their 20s and 30s back then, the kind you see pushing prams and pushchairs (strollers, for our New World friends). It's only more recently that it seems to have shifted to 'mothers of our friends when we were teenagers.'

 

[lovecraft68]

We have discussed this and the answer, although some here don't seem to want to agree, is in the title of the thread "evolution"

Taboo used to mean a variety of things revolving around acts frowned upon in society. Sleeping with your sister in law would be taboo. Not illegal, but damn sleazy on both sides.

Then along comes Taboo with Kay Parker and family sex getting more and more popular over the years and taboo now in the porn world is seen completely as family sex.

Technically a milf can be a woman who has kids, but porn has morphed this kink into being a mom old enough to be in her late thirties to the the sweet spot which seems forties.

So, on an erotic story site, whether true or not, the definition of those words when pertaining to erotic content holds sway

Watch enough milf porn and look at the comments and people don't like the milf stories where the female barely looks much older than the young guy and in the reverse where the guy looks like he's in his thirties and the age of the milf

Our genre determines these meanings, we can go against the grain and see how it works out, but you'll find out in the comments.

I'm not going to argue this because we're talking porn, not the woman across the street and porn is king here because its what we do.

That and I created this discussion a few years back where its the same point, 'technicality' versus 'expectation' is really what we deal with here.

This also extends to "DILF" plenty of women have a daddy thing, and they don't want a daddy who's 26 they want one old enough to be their daddy.

https://forum.literotica.com/threads/the-misuse-of-the-term-milf.1547892/

There's no point arguing this.

 

[alohadave]

I think with the MILF thing I was also dredging up the early interweb from the dusty backrooms of my memory - I'm sure there was more of a focus on mothers in their 20s and 30s back then, the kind you see pushing prams and pushchairs (strollers, for our New World friends). It's only more recently that it seems to have shifted to 'mothers of our friends when we were teenagers.'

MILF hit the mainstream with American Pie with an older woman (Jennifer Coolidge was 37 when it was made). The porn industry really pushed hard on expanding MILF to be anyone who was or could be seen as a mother. Then older women became cougars.

 

[HordHolm]

We have discussed this and the answer, although some here don't seem to want to agree, is in the title of the thread "evolution"

Taboo used to mean a variety of things revolving around acts frowned upon in society. Sleeping with your sister in law would be taboo. Not illegal, but damn sleazy on both sides.

Then along comes Taboo with Kay Parker and family sex getting more and more popular over the years and taboo now in the porn world is seen completely as family sex.

Technically a milf can be a woman who has kids, but porn has morphed this kink into being a mom old enough to be in her late thirties to the the sweet spot which seems forties.

So, on an erotic story site, whether true or not, the definition of those words when pertaining to erotic content holds sway

Watch enough milf porn and look at the comments and people don't like the milf stories where the female barely looks much older than the young guy and in the reverse where the guy looks like he's in his thirties and the age of the milf

Our genre determines these meanings, we can go against the grain and see how it works out, but you'll find out in the comments.

I'm not going to argue this because we're talking porn, not the woman across the street and porn is king here because its what we do.

That and I created this discussion a few years back where its the same point, 'technicality' versus 'expectation' is really what we deal with here.

This also extends to "DILF" plenty of women have a daddy thing, and they don't want a daddy who's 26 they want one old enough to be their daddy.

https://forum.literotica.com/threads/the-misuse-of-the-term-milf.1547892/

There's no point arguing this.

I completely agree. I think, if I find myself needing a descriptor (I haven't so far) I'm going to steer towards 'young mother' and make the age thing explicit before anyone gets invested.

 

[lovecraft68]

MILF hit the mainstream with American Pie with an older woman (Jennifer Coolidge was 37 when it was made). The porn industry really pushed hard on expanding MILF to be anyone who was or could be seen as a mother. Then older women became cougars.

Go watch porn, the word cougar is not used in a tag nearly as much as milf. In the thread I linked I give a reason for that, it sounds out there, but if you've published for sale, and on amazon, you realize its an actual issue.

The willful ignorance to admit porn has dictated this rule but all you rebels know better is tiring.

 

[HordHolm]

MILF hit the mainstream with American Pie with an older woman (Jennifer Coolidge was 37 when it was made). The porn industry really pushed hard on expanding MILF to be anyone who was or could be seen as a mother. Then older women became cougars.

Yeah, I was just too old for American Pie to have that level of influence on me - a mildly amusing diversion, nothing more. But I can certainly see the evolution, and the industry pushing it. Where I really wonder, is what they might do with GILF somewhere down the road...

 

[calmlikeabomb]

Jennifer Coolidge was in her mid to late 30s when she became the gold standard for MILFs in American Pie. A MILF shouldn't be defined by age, but by attitude.

 

[calmlikeabomb]

MILF hit the mainstream with American Pie with an older woman (Jennifer Coolidge was 37 when it was made). The porn industry really pushed hard on expanding MILF to be anyone who was or could be seen as a mother. Then older women became cougars.

Didn't see your post when I write mine but i echo your thought and stand by mine. It's the attitude, not age that defines a MILF.

 

[TheRedChamber]

Honestly, and I appreciate that this is probably too much information, I was on an 'older younger lesbian' fetish for a while last year. The state of mainstream porn industry can best be demonstrated by the fact that, if you started to watch a lot of those video halfway through, which is the correct way to watch porn, I was frequently completely baffled as to who the 'older' and who the 'younger' was supposed to be. I'd have to go back and actually watch the plot (yuck!) to finally go 'oh, so she's the piano teacher*!'

It's almost as bad as when you watch any scene that has a long 'I'm a good girl, honestly!' build-up and then, when they get naked, the quantity, location and theme of the tattoos they've acquired by supposedly 'barely legal' age bares little relationship to their proclaimed 'goodness'**

In summary, modern porn is ridiculous.

Do we need to start a 'Campaign for Real MILFs'?

(*piano-teaching is, of course, the getting stuck in the tumble drier of lesbian porn)
(**not saying that tattoos are 'bad', just its a hard sell that these girls have difficulty breaking 'taboos')

 

[TheLobster]

Since the term 'cougar' came up, I was wondering if it's one I've been misunderstanding.

To me, it always just meant a woman who seduces men notably younger than her. Absolute age doesn't matter, as long as the "victim" is an adult.

A 30-something woman who sleeps with a guy who's barely out of teenage years is therefore a cougar. Same for a woman that a late-20s guy sleeps with when she's in her late forties. There seems to be a maximum age for the cubs, so that's probably as old as the guy can get, but I don't think there is an inherent minimum age for the woman that's not dictated simply by age of consent.

Is this incorrect? Does cougar always have to be mid-40s or thereabouts at the youngest? Pop-culture examples like Samantha from Sex and the City seem to say it's not necessarily a requirement.

 

[OralAllOver]

only 3 ages for women:

1) under 18, too young
2) 18 - 23 in bloom
3) 24 and over menopausal

 

[TheRedChamber]

only 3 ages for women:

1) under 18, too young
2) 18 - 23 in bloom
3) 24 and over menopausal

I'd tell you that you're wrong but I dont need the competition for category 3*. Or is this the official porn industry classificiation?

(*joke- married and monogamous)

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Since the term 'cougar' came up, I was wondering if it's one I've been misunderstanding.

To me, it always just meant a woman who seduces men notably younger than her. Absolute age doesn't matter, as long as the "victim" is an adult.

A 30-something woman who sleeps with a guy who's barely out of teenage years is therefore a cougar. Same for a woman that a late-20s guy sleeps with when she's in her late forties. There seems to be a maximum age for the cubs, so that's probably as old as the guy can get, but I don't think there is an inherent minimum age for the woman that's not dictated simply by age of consent.

Is this incorrect? Does cougar always have to be mid-40s or thereabouts at the youngest? Pop-culture examples like Samantha from Sex and the City seem to say it's not necessarily a requirement.

A cougar definitely goes out and seduces, as opposed to a MILF who just flirts and encourages.

Though I'd expect a cougar to be significantly older, say 15 min, more like at least 20 years older than the prey. Otherwise it's just a seductress or man-eater. Wasn't Samantha meant to be late 30s by the end? I'd put her on the young end of cougardom - and call her a man-eater at the start of the series.

I'd say a MILF would look 'definitely over 30' - never gets IDd in the UK any more - and has good breasts.

I have no idea how porn may use the term, seeing as I get put off by plastered makeup and scattered tattoos.

 

[ElectricBlue]

only 3 ages for women:

1) under 18, too young
2) 18 - 23 in bloom
3) 24 and over menopausal

You're missing out on the best. Your category 2 is on the whole clueless, have no idea of themselves as women. Sure, they might be easy on the eye, but what's the conversation going to be about? Not a lot.

 

[TheRedChamber]

Round 2

Is a milf still a milf if no one wants to fuck her? Whats the percentage of needed guys who 'would hit that' to get your milf card? Do guys my age (eg older than the milf-wanabee) get to vote?

 

[Lifestyle66]

only 3 ages for women:

1) under 18, too young
2) 18 - 23 in bloom
3) 24 and over menopausal

The first such standard was set by Hugh Heffer with "Playboy" (at least into the 1980's), but the middle range was from 18 to 25.

I think it was used in a movie, when one Playboy Bunny was commiserating with another about her chances of becoming a centerfold, and the older one said; "You violated the cardinal rule, 'Thou shall not turn 25.""

 

[SPARTAN047]

Yummy mummy is a good one, just call her a GILF next time.

 

[SinclairGroupLLP]

At least to me, "cougar" has always denoted a woman in her late thirties and up who actively seeks out men at least a decade younger than them. Age is not nearly as important as attitude in this description.

MILF, to me, has nothing to do with the person being described as a MILF's behavior. It's literally someone the viewer would like to fuck, so you can be a MILF without ever considering doing anything remotely like you'd see in your bog standard porno. And when it comes to MILFs, I've always had "Stacy's Mom" in my head as the standard - she probably has no idea the guy in the song has the hots for her, but that doesn't stop him from wanting her. Age there is also not that important, it's more that the person in question is a mom and old enough to be the mom of the viewer.

I had no idea these terms were so loaded, lol.

 

[Cagivagurl]

Here's one for you to consider...
MILTS....

 

[TheRedChamber]

Here's one for you to consider...
MILTS....

Mums I'd like to Take Seriously?
Mums I'd like to Teach Spanish?
Mums in Leotards Take Singapore?
Milkmaids in Love Tug Sharply?
Mafia Infantry Love Tony Soprano?
Man! I Love to Sing?

Help us out here!

 

[yowser]

I've shared this elsewhere but seems appropriate:

https://flic.kr/p/2mw96xE

 

[Kelliezgirl]

We have discussed this and the answer, although some here don't seem to want to agree, is in the title of the thread "evolution"

Taboo used to mean a variety of things revolving around acts frowned upon in society. Sleeping with your sister in law would be taboo. Not illegal, but damn sleazy on both sides.

Then along comes Taboo with Kay Parker and family sex getting more and more popular over the years and taboo now in the porn world is seen completely as family sex.

Technically a milf can be a woman who has kids, but porn has morphed this kink into being a mom old enough to be in her late thirties to the the sweet spot which seems forties.

So, on an erotic story site, whether true or not, the definition of those words when pertaining to erotic content holds sway

Watch enough milf porn and look at the comments and people don't like the milf stories where the female barely looks much older than the young guy and in the reverse where the guy looks like he's in his thirties and the age of the milf

Our genre determines these meanings, we can go against the grain and see how it works out, but you'll find out in the comments.

I'm not going to argue this because we're talking porn, not the woman across the street and porn is king here because its what we do.

That and I created this discussion a few years back where its the same point, 'technicality' versus 'expectation' is really what we deal with here.

This also extends to "DILF" plenty of women have a daddy thing, and they don't want a daddy who's 26 they want one old enough to be their daddy.

https://forum.literotica.com/threads/the-misuse-of-the-term-milf.1547892/

There's no point arguing this.

There was at one point a site dedicated to "Disney DILFs" which was all pictures of attractive men at Disney World with their kids. They were typically younger guys late 20s-mid 30s.
There is something sexy about a guy who is being a good Dad.
It isn't necessarily wanting a "daddy".

https://www.instagram.com/dilfs_of_disneyland/

 

[LoneMilf]

Having used the nickname 'LoneMilf' for close to 10 years across various adult online platforms, I can definitely say that there isn't a single agreed-upon definition.

I'm regularly approached by young guys who think the Milf-part means that I would have a natural interest in them. I can't count the number of times I've had to explain that milf and cougar is not the same...

And when I get the very predictable question 'Are you really a milf?', I usually reply: 'The M is a fact, the rest depends on the person I'm talking to'