How Do You Make Scheduled Sex Exciting?

[Encaea]

I very rarely see a married couple having "scheduled sex" represented as anything except confirmation that their sex life has become mundane. Even if that is often the case, I know it's not universally true, and I've had some fantastic experiences with scheduled "rendezvous" with my wife, even when our sex life was otherwise great.

It has been a couple years since we did that, though, and I convinced her to schedule me in for 6pm today. I'm excited for it, and am hoping she'll start doing it more regularly with me. Of course, that's going to depend on how today goes.

Ladies, what could your lover do to make an 'appointment' for sex feel more exciting and less, well, appointment-y?
Gents, what would you do to get her excited to schedule another session?

As a for instance, when we were doing this before, one bit of flourish was a privacy curtain I'd hang up for roleplaying anonymous hookups/glory hole/etc. We'd often have some kind of hentai on tv (Discode is our favorite) and I also recorded us sometimes and compiled supercuts which we both enjoyed thoroughly.

If anyone has experience, insight, or recommendations for how I can help maximize her enjoyment, I'd love to hear your thoughts!

 

[BrentJW]

Bring a friend!

 

[Encaea]

Bring a friend!

I'm absolutely in favor of that. Unfortunately the wife is fervently opposed, and she's the one I'm hoping to impress.

I've tried to nurture friendships between her and several potential #3s, but she doesn't care much for any of the men or women I would want to invite.

Rest assured I'll keep trying, but any other recommendations?

 

[HordHolm]

I'm absolutely in favor of that. Unfortunately the wife is fervently opposed, and she's the one I'm hoping to impress.

I've tried to nurture friendships between her and several potential #3s, but she doesn't care much for any of the men or women I would want to invite.

Rest assured I'll keep trying, but any other recommendations?

How would she react to a description, in advance, of the kind of thing you'd like to do with her? I know it's not to everyone's taste, but to a greater or lesser level of lewdness (depending on what she would be comfortable with) it might build anticipation.

 

[Encaea]

How would she react to a description, in advance, of the kind of thing you'd like to do with her? I know it's not to everyone's taste, but to a greater or lesser level of lewdness (depending on what she would be comfortable with) it might build anticipation.

Yep! That's how our honeymoon-phase trysts evolved, actually! We kinda converted scheduled sex into a pseudo-kink (ex. An RP "encounter", with no visual contact or physical contact except through the anonymity curtain.) `

I don't suppose anyone has any suggestions on how to make my wife think that suggesting a third person was her idea?

 

[Saint_Ann]

Show up late?

 

[VerbalAbuse]

I don't suppose anyone has any suggestions on how to make my wife think that suggesting a third person was her idea?

Inception!?

 

[Audiflex]

Get rid of the schedule...

 

[Audiflex]

Bring a friend!

Sounds even more fun.

 

[Britva415]

How Do You Make Scheduled Sex Exciting?

Don't schedule it for a long time, and during the wait, flirt, tease, make promises, and build the anticipation.

Then go slow when the scheduled occasion does arrive.

 

[Britva415]

during the wait, flirt, tease, make promises, and build the anticipation.

If you do this, you might not have to schedule it at all. Just seduce her all week or month and don't give it to her until she's damn good and ready - or until you are, whichever comes later.

 

[Not Normal]

Do some things around the house that she usually does.

 

[PMarky2]

We had a Wednesday afternoon fixture for years, but you never quite knew how it was going to start. Sometimes I would be ambushed when I got home. Other times it would be a lazy lunch, a nap and slow love-making, then again, it might be an all afternoon session. However, we never let the Wednesday fixture preclude an extra. It was a case of dinner at the Mexican restaurant, a margarita inside her, and who knows what might happen... and many other variants.

 

[Belegon]

Do some things around the house that she usually does.

THIS. in my general opinion, women are more prone to regard things outside the sexual sphere as blocks or inhibitors to their sexual arrousal.Most men can walk into a room where their wife is bent over, vacuuming under couch and the thing that hits them is the ass in the air. A woman is more likely (though NOT exclusively) to have the thought about what is actually happening and how long HAS it been since someone thought to clean UNDER the couch, whereas the man is more likely to be focused on how the couch is right there and since she is already "in position", it's GO! time.

If you remove barriers to her concentration on normal daily chores, you may not get her thinking sexually, but you WILL remove potential obstacles to the thoughts you are trying to inspire.

 

[Lucien_Al]

We often schedule sex. We do enjoy spontaneous sex too but life sometimes tends to sabotage that for us.

If we have scheduled sex we spend the day sending naughty notes and calls suggesting what play we would like to indulge in what she would like to do etc. We are able to get our sex room set with candles etc and we love it.

For me as long as we are sexually active any quality sex is a great thing.

 

[Noor]

I very rarely see a married couple having "scheduled sex" represented as anything except confirmation that their sex life has become mundane. Even if that is often the case, I know it's not universally true, and I've had some fantastic experiences with scheduled "rendezvous" with my wife, even when our sex life was otherwise great.

It has been a couple years since we did that, though, and I convinced her to schedule me in for 6pm today. I'm excited for it, and am hoping she'll start doing it more regularly with me. Of course, that's going to depend on how today goes.

Ladies, what could your lover do to make an 'appointment' for sex feel more exciting and less, well, appointment-y?
Gents, what would you do to get her excited to schedule another session?

As a for instance, when we were doing this before, one bit of flourish was a privacy curtain I'd hang up for roleplaying anonymous hookups/glory hole/etc. We'd often have some kind of hentai on tv (Discode is our favorite) and I also recorded us sometimes and compiled supercuts which we both enjoyed thoroughly.

If anyone has experience, insight, or recommendations for how I can help maximize her enjoyment, I'd love to hear your thoughts!

By scheduling sex, it means you have down time for each other. Most people schedule a date night as well. The usual stresses of the day are gone.
Similiarly Orthodox Jews consider having sex on the sabbath as a blessing. No work is done on the sabbath so it’s downtime too.
Since I usually want sex everyday but there are time and energy limits, having time with a clear schedule helps.
I never get bored and if you are with someone who needs viagra, you are already needing to plan sex.
I think not scheduling At exact time but more like an afternoon or evening would be helpful. Having a meal out before eliminates needing to clean up after cooking, through watching a man wash dishes well is pretty exciting for me. A nice joint shower or bath with oil or honey dust after would be nice.
Unless you are retired and live alone, everyone is scheduling sex to some extent, like when they are home from work with no one around.

 

[Noor]

Also just because sex is schedule for a certain time, doesn’t mean you can’t both tease each other and build up to it throughout the day before, so both people are looking forward to it

 

[ladventures]

Right. My wife and I don’t really look at as “scheduling sex.” We are both busy with jobs that don’t necessarily allow us to completely unplug when we leave work. So we pick times when we both will feel more relaxed and promise to connect at that time.

That gives us both anticipation and a chance to plan something sweet or romantic or just nice for the other person.

 

[Naughtygirl201]

I kinda like the scheduled feel....it's like I'm his for a certain time period and it feels a little transactional in a good way....like he gets to the have it regardless of whether I'm in the mood.... And feeling a bit used .... well it feels slutty and gets me off.

 

[alexgriffin74]

When we had scheduled times, I would often slip away to the bedroom and light candles, warm up some massage oil and, honestly, neaten things up a bit. Then focus on her pleasure 1st and foremost until she was in thr groove and relaxed. Then just go with the flow.

Kinky? If wasn't usually. But it was romantic and she knew I was focused on her. And she would often surprise me by wearing something sexy without me know first.
Scheduled, vanilla but relaxing and pleasurable. All of which is great when the whole reason you're scheduling sex is because you're always so damn busy!

 

[FreckledSprite]

I don’t cyberfuck others and instead allow the sexual tension to build. Sexting and flirting helps.

 

[AlwaysDancing]

It’s about being intentional!! We live in a world of distractions, check lists, responsibilities and and and.

If it’s just something on the schedule … that’s better than nothing.

But if you are intentional … if you commit absolutely that in that window, nothing exists but the crazy passion you have for each other … it’s hard to go wrong.

that’s what you did back in the beginning when you went on dates. You scheduled it and you were intentional about it.

Get it!!!

 

[coati]

Almost 20 years ago, my gf and I agreed not to live in the same house, but instead separately maintain her urban residence and my farm, which are about 55 miles apart from each other. Both of us work full time during the week, but we regularly talk and flirt with each other on the phone. Since we schedule regular weekend visits either at her place or mine, sex is an assumed part of the schedule.

20 years later, our affection and the mutual orgasms are still consistently strong. Sexual chemistry is working better than in our prior marriages, when we were raising kids and constantly around a spouse every day.

We have a good mixture of intimacy and space, as well as urban experience and rural life.

And the scheduled sex is still exciting.

 

[SoReadyNow]

Almost 20 years ago, my gf and I agreed not to live in the same house, but instead separately maintain her urban residence and my farm, which are about 55 miles apart from each other. Both of us work full time during the week, but we regularly talk and flirt with each other on the phone. Since we schedule regular weekend visits either at her place or mine, sex is an assumed part of the schedule.

20 years later, our affection and the mutual orgasms are still consistently strong. Sexual chemistry is working better than in our prior marriages, when we were raising kids and constantly around a spouse every day.

We have a good mixture of intimacy and space, as well as urban experience and rural life.

And the scheduled sex is still exciting.

Love this. And totally get it! As a serious introvert, I once suggested to my husband -- whom I loved dearly and wouldn't have traded for the world -- that we buy a duplex and meet every day around the cocktail hour. He was so hurt, I never brought it up again. But good people, I was serious...

 

[coati]

Love this. And totally get it! As a serious introvert, I once suggested to my husband -- whom I loved dearly and wouldn't have traded for the world -- that we buy a duplex and meet every day around the cocktail hour. He was so hurt, I never brought it up again. But good people, I was serious...

Yes, for my gf and me, space has been the key to a successful long-term relationship.

I think more couples would do this if they understood the benefits, especially if they are not involved with lots of child care duties.