Your first time Dominated?

[Roughscrewu]

Was it a BF or Stranger who introduced you to Dom/Sub , BDSM?

 

[writerzblok92]

It was my college roommate. I was a virgin and had no idea about a D/s relationship but looking back on it, that's clearly what it was.

I enjoyed it and have craved it again ever since.

 

[cocktaildress21]

I had fantazised - then went on a Tinder date, which sort of solidified what I wanted.

 

[Smoothshavendad]

I had fantazised - then went on a Tinder date, which sort of solidified what I wanted.

Good for you. It’s important to have clarity, isn’t it?

 

[woman_early20s]

Was it a BF or Stranger who introduced you to Dom/Sub , BDSM?

Honestly, I always had a thing about rough palms and deep husky voice. Started masturbating through my imagination. Nipple clamped or banded was the start.

Actually experienced it when I mentioned my vanilla ex about my desires about being tied/ choked/spanked, using blindfolds/clothespins.

He tried experimenting sometime for me, but was always too worried to hurt me and was not comfortable.

Fast forward to a friend with whom I explored a lot of things. It was banging

 

[DesMoines]

I had my first submissive experience as a freshman in college while darting a much more sexually experienced junior. When I started college I had only had sex 2 times. When I started college I had a job working on the stage crew for the auditorium. I started dating an older girl on the crew the first week I was there and things rapidly progressed.

 

[cocktaildress21]

Good for you. It’s important to have clarity, isn’t it?

Well - yes. I wouldn't call it clarity. But you know, it's a flavor. Like a favourite seasoning. I know I like it, now I need to get the most out of it.

Also decide whether I want it to the exclusion of other flavors.

 

[Bamamama1990]

What about maybe a first time a woman was the dominant one;/) I got you there

 

[splish splash]

What about maybe a first time a woman was the dominant one;/) I got you there

The first time she wanted to switch I said what the hell I’ve dominated her often enough
She strapped me to the eye screws I use for her
It was different when she took the flogger to me I enjoyed the pain and wanted more
And did I get it
We switch regularly now

 

[KimGordon67]

It was virtual - I honestly can't remember if straight cyber or voice.

 

[alabasterbreasts]

An EX.

First time experiencing it rougher - having my nipples pinched and pulled, being spanked, told what to do ... I was in heaven and came like I never had before and was hooked.

 

[Italian_Princess]

First Domination

Was it a BF or Stranger who introduced you to Dom/Sub , BDSM?

I know its not typical, but mine was losing my virginity. The guy said he wouldnt sleep with me because I was a virgin, so I said what do I have to do, he said not be a virgin and break that before i slept with him, well I did whether or not he took himself seriously, I did. I have been hooked ever since.

 

[skadibound4u]

11 years ago with an ex boyfriend. It was heaven. Have loved been sub ever since.

 

[Marty Fisher]

It was my college roommate. I was a virgin and had no idea about a D/s relationship but looking back on it, that's clearly what it was.

I enjoyed it and have craved it again ever since.

I welcum the same!!!

 

[LauraWilling]

I am not sure when I was first dominated. Looking back it seems like I was always what I thought was a "follower." I just went along with what others told me. I thought it was my small physical size and looking much younger, but now see it was a strong craving to be accepted by others so I wanted to please others.

People always seemed to be making decisions for me. I see now that the first person I realized was controling me was a bouncer at a club where I danced. He would set me up for private lap dances with customers as well as taking me to his home and using me there. He wasn't what we would classify as a Dom, but his control over me certainly was. Later another man who was a Dom as we think of them, told me I was obviously a sub or probable one witing to be trained. That was when the provebial "light bulb" came on for me.

 

[PinkInPink]

Ah, the memories....

My first time being dominated was after college,with a cop. He thought he was a Dom I think mostly because of the power that came with his position but in hindsight he had no idea what he was doing. It was weird and awkward and unsatisfying.

My current flame is a different story. Neither of us are what I would call full time submissive or dominant but we both have our preferred tastes. When I submit to him, he owns all of me, but in such a way that I can feel his love as much as his desire.

I would describe him as my true first time, because he is the first I have ever 100% given myself to, no holding back.

 

[Ginlover]

I find these conversations fascinating. Mine was far more organic. Subconsciously I avoided kink, it was what weird people did in independent documentaries, the outfits and behaviour was to be giggled at then move on.

With my own partners I experienced rough sex, I considered it just passionate - thrown against a wall, hair pulled, being manhandled. Or the more tender teasing, edging. Primal biting, clawing, sniffing and sucking. In my mind that’s just what people did when they had fun with sex.

I watched fifty shades and thought OMG those kink people are abusers. Then a writing friend introduced me to the idea of dynamics. I was fascinated at identifying the line between abuse and kink. By chance a long term friend who I talked to a lot about sex anyway realised I was curious and it was like a floodgate opened as they told me all about their kink life. From me saying something about leather cuffs to him having his phone under my nose with Uber kink on the screen was about ten seconds! I was totally thrown - kink is abuse - but I’m standing with a good friend I’d trust with my life and would never be an abuser. He got me to reset my views just by talking to me.

The more I researched the more I realised I wasn’t kinky, my experience didn’t match any stories or porn or how people behave online. But the friend kept saying none of that represented real life kink. I made friends with a guy who headed up a dungeon team, he didn’t seem to suggest I was naive or not kinky (many others had as I thought all the gorean type acting people or people who wander about on line submitting to anything that will reply to them was insane). My experienced kink friend who headed up a dungeon team told me to join fet and read writing by people who actually did kink and didn’t just fantasise about the extremes online.

With my rl partners it was still rough passionate animalistic sex. But they were not dominants or kinky. They like me would have just said they were having fun. Then I asked some female friends about hair pulling and hands on throat during sex. They looked horrified. One had her husband with her and he was mortified at the idea of wrapping his hands around his wife’s throat in sex.

I went back to my two experienced friends and explained how I had sex, how I behaved in a relationship with a partner, my need to people please, the buzz I got from making a partner happy or his life easier, even the times I’ve teased and edged a guy. They both laughed and said I had finally realised I’d been in power exchange dynamics my whole adult life. Fetlife confirmed it as I found the language, rough, primal, sensual, restraint, control.

I still don’t use honorifics and I think most of the clothes are weird, I loath gimp masks. But now I’m confident I do understand and where I’m most comfortable. Plus it’s fun to add in lots of toys to play with. I can do magical things with a TENs, flogger and some ice lol.

Because of how I got to this point I also totally get authority transfer without sex. I’m a regular rope bunny for a wonderful rigger. There is no sexual contact but, god damn it, rope space is addictive.

My BDSM stories are frowned upon on here for being not ‘BDSM’ I say bollocks as they are about realistic authority transfer, they are subtle. I try to explore connection and the emotions. You don’t need a bull whip and stilettos to be doing BDSM, you need a person or people you feel safe with and want to give control to or take control from with all people enthusiastically consenting. How that looks is no ones fucking business except the people in that dynamic.

So I’ve stepped away from writing in the BDSM genre for now because the negativity of it not being ‘BDSM’ enough is depressing, but I know what I do and any person I have been dominated by will say I’m submissive and anyone I’ve dominated has hit subspace so little miss non-kinky-just-having fun seems to be making those men happy.

Funniest side effect is despite not considering myself to be stereotypically kinky I seem to have a lot of interest from men wanting to explore relationships or dynamics with me. Those experienced kink friends have both said independently it’s because I’m real, honest and open and that is something that isn’t always available in kink as people arrive with a fixed fantasy or fifty shades of crap being their manual and the experienced kinksters have to undo the damage before they can even consider exploring.

So first time I was dominated I have no clue, I guess it was when I started having sex...

 

[SilentQuestions]

I was messaging with a man much older than me. I think I was 25, he was 49. He introduced the idea of green, yellow, red, hard and soft limits. We engaged in some role play that left me questioning how far we could go. What we would do. I probably would have met him at some point if he had asked.

Always wondered what happened to him.

 

[scwhite1979]

I sort of found it on my own online when looking up things I'd enjoyed in the past, at age 39, then went to a club/experimented with an ex & was sold lol!

 

[AnnyMouse28]

While I do tend to have submissive tendencies. The first time I experience any type of BDSM "relationship" I realized it wasn't for me.

Being spanked & causing pain. Being chocked until I passed out. No Thank You.

You want to take control of our sex life and be the one who initiates and calls the shots. That I am okay with.

 

[barefootgirl69]

He was a co-worker...and I was drawn to him.
It just happened pretty naturally since we were both single.

 

[Lady2020]

More of a spontaneous moment, after I dominated him.

 

[seela]

It was my bf, and it was also the first time I had sex. I knew I was into it, but I didn't have words for things I liked yet. I talked about it with my bf, he was interested in similar things and knew more words than I did.

Although I guess at the beginning it really wasn't D/s but rather Top/bottom. Neither of us knew those words back then, though, so we just called it D-ing and s-ing.

The first time was fun and exciting. Didn't feel particularly scandalous. It took me a couple of years to realize just how uncommon my wants and needs actually are and how lucky I had gotten with my bf, in more ways than one.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

My first BDSM relationship was with someone I met here. It was a slow burn and by the time he finally touched me, I think I was ready to do just about anything he said. Ironically, we didn’t do much in person, but I learned so much from him and his years of experience. It was an overwhelmingly positive relationship and he and I are still friends.

 

[Drinkmein]

During my marriage we had a 3some partner whom I was allowed to fuck on my own. He lead me down the wonderful path. Restraints, spanking. Orgasm denial, forced orgasms. I miss him