The Poll for Everything Horrible

[OrdinaryPerson]

Every week (or at whatever duration I want), I will post a poll and you guys can vote. Extra points for explaining why. At the end of the time period, I'll tally up the votes and declare the poll winner as well as the poster that made the best argument.

To start off...

Poll: What is more dangerous? Putting the wide end of a butter churner inside your butt or putting your penis inside a turned on shop vac?

A) You have a penis and you think butt churning your butter is the safer option

B) You have a penis and think fucking a shop vac is the safer option

C) you don't have a penis and you think butt churning your butter is the safer option

D) you don't have a penis but think fucking a shop vac is the safer option if you did have a penis

If anyone needs a visual on the butter churner...

 

[Indie]

D. If I had a dick, I'd rather have it sucked hard in a vac than to have my asshole ripped apart by that horrible contraption.

Also, I think we need a size reference on the butter churner.

 

[crazychemgirl]

definitely C

 

[ydahecnot]

E. What the holy hell

 

[dawn_of_night]

D. I'm team @Indie here.

 

[Bry1313]

Absolutely A, protect the dick at all costs.

 

[StillRain]

I’m concerned about your mind.

 

[StillRain]

Also why the fuck doesn’t this place actually have a useful poll option anymore,

Christ.

I say fuck the vacuum. Then go full saltburn while you’re at it.

 

[Mrtenant]

A.

Already done the shop vac and survived, though the shop vac seem to have gone into withdrawal. I sent it in to be fixed, but there was nothing for it.

So it's the butter churned in the bum for me. Haven't done that before, so I'm intrigued. I'm all lubed up, video recorder rolling for my OF, Looney Tunes playing on the TV. I'm all set.

Hold me while I put this in?

 

[Whiskeyjack]

B, I guess?
And to the originator of this thread, @OrdinaryPerson, I have to ask - who hurt you? Why is this a question on your mind? Is there some unresolved trauma from your childhood that now manifests in questions like this?

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

B. Unequivocally, B.
I don't want to be gaping the rest of my life and the mere risk of a single splinter behind any of my sphincters is a resounding pass.

 

[Broken_paladin]

definitely B. I mean being able to suck a golfball thru a garden hose is one of my dream girl requirements so it seems right?

 

[shewantsmore]

Every week (or at whatever duration I want), I will post a poll and you guys can vote. Extra points for explaining why. At the end of the time period, I'll tally up the votes and declare the poll winner as well as the poster that made the best argument.

To start off...

Poll: What is more dangerous? Putting the wide end of a butter churner inside your butt or putting your penis inside a turned on shop vac?

A) You have a penis and you think butt churning your butter is the safer option

B) You have a penis and think fucking a shop vac is the safer option

C) you don't have a penis and you think butt churning your butter is the safer option

D) you don't have a penis but think fucking a shop vac is the safer option if you did have a penis

If anyone needs a visual on the butter churner...

I vote D

 

[Wishingbox]

B for sure.

I’m all down for some back play but that thing doesn’t look too enjoyable lol…

 

[Lord Pmann]

As someone who repeatedly fucked a shop vac, I’m gonna have to say that anyone voting for anything other than the shop vac is just plain weird.

I feel like I’m gonna have to prove this to y’all. Shop vacs are safe for dicks. I don’t know what kind of assholes you all have, but mine has been coddled and would not handle this kind of treatment. What the hell are you shoving up your assholes that make this a better option?

 

[Mr_bogey]

E. None of the above.

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

E. What the holy hell

E. None of the above.

E is not a valid option, which just means you want me to choose the shop vac for you

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

I’m concerned about your mind.

I’ve never agreed with you more.

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

I’m concerned about your mind.

B, I guess?
And to the originator of this thread, @OrdinaryPerson, I have to ask - who hurt you? Why is this a question on your mind? Is there some unresolved trauma from your childhood that now manifests in questions like this?

I am sweet and innocent and just have an inquisitive mind. I blame it all on @crazychemgirl and her tiktoc algorithm.

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

I’ve never agreed with you more.

but you agree with Indie and vote butter churner, right?

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

but you agree with Indie and vote butter churner, right?

Oh, of course. I care less about my butt.

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

As someone who repeatedly fucked a shop vac, I’m gonna have to say that anyone voting for anything other than the shop vac is just plain weird.

I feel like I’m gonna have to prove this to y’all. Shop vacs are safe for dicks. I don’t know what kind of assholes you all have, but mine has been coddled and would not handle this kind of treatment. What the hell are you shoving up your assholes that make this a better option?

Yes, we need proof

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

Oh, of course. I care less about my butt

Opps. I meant she would choose the shop vac

I think you guys need to care more about your butts. it provides essential bodily functions and you really dont want it to start leaking

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Oh, of course. I care less about my butt.

Wait a minnit! Thats not how she voted!

I’m not saying anything more without my lawyer!

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Opps. I meant she would choose the shop vac

I think you guys need to care more about your butts. it provides essential bodily functions and you really dont want it to start leaking

Too..:.wait where’s that lawyer!?!?